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~ Be Live It

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Monthly Archives: February 2015

Oh This Thing Called ‘Wisdom’

17 Tuesday Feb 2015

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Self-Development, Thoughts in motion

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

christian, growth, musings, wisdom, young

As a young child, I was somewhat a religious fanatic, no doubt as a result of my fervently praying maternal grandmother. I was the child that wanted to exceed in anything and everything I did. I would always give it 100% whether I was good at it or not, and that seems to have followed me into my adult years, albeit not with the same intensity.

I remember watching an episode of ‘The Adventures of Pete and Pete’ on Nickelodeon ( heyyyy, I had cable), and in that episode, one of the characters did everything perfectly. Naturally, this added to my ideology of being perfect and for a period of time after that, I attempted to do everything that way, especially when eating my food-I failed miserably.

At some point, I let up and decided it was ok not to be perfect, although it is still something to master, I still have many days where perfectionism is definitely my ruler.

With that said, if I was going to be a Christian then I would be the best Christian there was! I would read a chapter in the bible every night, not even remotely comprehending much of what had been written, but as it was what Christians did, I continued.  When I prayed, I would pray for the homeless and those less fortunate and incessantly ask for wisdom. I was told it was better than riches or gold and I wanted to be as wise as King Solomon. He was, from a Christian’s perspective, the wisest man of all time, and they aspired to be like him in that respect.

So as I drove home late last night from a friend’s house, (those journeys home where it’s just you, the bare roads, and your thoughts) a thought about wisdom popped into my head. In the same breath, an understanding that I had never had before, came to me.

I used to wonder why I had the kind of experiences in life that I had, and couldn’t I have just learnt it through others instead of having to go through it myself? It would have saved me a lot of pain.

The epiphany was, how was I to be wise if not by experiences that not many had encountered at such a young age? How was I to be like King Solomon, if I lacked the training that would sharpen my tools? Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying I or anyone who suffers greatly deserves it, I am simply acknowledging a truth for me. 

Wisdom is not necessarily attributed to age or experience alone, as maturity is down to the individual and the choice that they make to develop or not. Not every old person is wise and not all young people are stupid, however in my case, experience was and is unfortunately my best teacher (ggrrrrr).

One thing I have learnt in life is to be mindful of what you ask for. It may not come now, but it will come and you need to be certain that it is what you want.

xo

This year…Make it happen!

02 Monday Feb 2015

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Life, Motivation, Self-Development

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Goals, Reality, Wallace Wattles

This year…Make it happen!

Happy New Year! (She says at the beginning of February). I know I have been MIA but I am back and intend to be more frequent with my posts as I have a lot to say and share.

Every year a substantial amount of people make promises to themselves, but by the time January is up, those New Year resolutions are a distant memory. I don’t know about you, but I refuse to keep having the same conversations or goals year in, year out *Yawn*.

I’m going to get straight to it.

5 reasons why people don’t achieve their goals:

1) You love the idea but not the reality. It sounds good and appeals, but the practical side of it, is not so enticing and as a result refrain from taking action. For example, you desire a new car, but don’t want to reduce your extra costs in order to budget appropriately for the car that you want, so you settle for the dysfunctional tuk tuk that you have been driving around, that’s on its last legs, literally (although when in central London, I do love a functioning tuk tuk to get me from my car to the venue, I’m not lazy, it’s just cold!).

Home 1floorplan

The idea                                                                            The reality

One must happen before the other.

2) Laziness. I think this speaks for itself.

3) Fear of the unknown. No one likes to wonder about in the dark, we like to know, who, what, where, why, when, how and if these questions aren’t answered, the willingness to commit and take that leap diminishes.

4) Accountability and ownership. *Sigh* this particular one gets to me the most, it is “never your fault and is always the responsibility of someone else”. When you CHOSE to think like that and see your life as being controlled by others, you 1) Become a puppet, which therefore means, you are predisposed to anything and 2) Relinquish the power over your life. One of the best things I have done for myself is acknowledging that I have a choice and a large degree of what happens to me relies on what I do and my perception.

5) Lack of vision

The above are common reasons why people fall off the wagon and resign to have a mediocre life and by mediocre, I mean one that you are dissatisfied with. Make it your mission this year, to be different, better.

I have a number of goals this year, but the ultimate one is to make sure that all my goals are met. Am I setting the bar really high this year? Most certainly! You cannot grow, if you continue with the same ol’, you need to push your current boundaries and get completely out of your comfort zone.

For instance, I have a complexity with being ‘out there’, yes I’ve acted etc but I still get that very ill-feeling every time something is published whether it be from me, or someone else, odd right? I’m a relatively private person and like to be a recluse when it suits me, but with the aspirations I have, being like that is incongruent. Anything I want to achieve will not materialize, if it remains in my head and is kept to myself, so here I am. My desire to realise my aspirations supersedes the discomfort I feel with the process.

If you don’t want to live a lack lustre life, filled with continuous broken promises, then make a note of the following:

Some of it you most likely know already, but repetition is the mother of skill.

First off, make the decision to do and be better.

1) Set your goals, and by set, you need to write them down. In order to make steps towards your desired goal, it is important to identify exactly what that goal is. Establishing your ‘Why’ allows you to connect the dots with what you aim to achieve.  Without a vision you are going nowhere or should I say anywhere the wind blows. Additionally, you can create a vision board. Ok,pause, before you rubbish it as being childish, hear me out.

When meeting a potential client, you HAVE to present them with a portfolio. It is simply not good enough to present them with ideas without them seeing your previous work OR without providing a presentation of what you hope to accomplish for the client.

It’s the same with a vision board, it’s simply the standards that you set for your life. It’s a great tool in building and visualising the blueprint for your life- I can personally vouch for it.

Break the goals down: Yearly, quarterly, monthly, weekly… Breaking it down allows you strategise appropriately and increases precision.

Also, don’t forget to be specific. I should point out that with goal setting/achieving, the how is not important, people tend to get stuck on the means and therefore don’t progress further. There are many ways to get to a destination, don’t be so rigid in your approach that you fail to see the potential opportunities in front of you. It is okay to change your plan of action.

R FBR FB2

He shoots…                                                                            He scores!!!

Remember, you have to be in it to win it!

2) Surround yourself with positive and proactive people, people that get ish done! Those that do exactly what they say they will do, when they say they will do it. If anything you will act just because you don’t want to be the loser in the group ha! Learn from them. It is very difficult to stay on track if you are constantly surrounded by people, who do not know better nor do they want to be better. They are like weeds and you need to put yourself in the environment where you can be fortified -Iron sharpens iron.

So your next question might be how do you do that? Well, research. Look for events that you can attend different from your usual or do that course you’ve wanted to do or pick up a hobby. Participating in such things will allow you to meet more likeminded people, it will also help you develop better interpersonal skills. You may have to go by yourself- just do it! There is so much available to us with just a few clicks, that we are not utilising. The internet is a wonderful tool, use it.

3) Raise the standard. I have been thinking about this term “Live within your means” and I used to agree with it but as time has passed, I have begun to feel some discomfort with the saying. Now hold on, I am not saying make costly choices and put yourself in an extremely unsavoury position, what I am saying is to challenge yourself to meet a target previously not attained. ‘Live within’ implies working with what you have and staying within that remit, in effect it can lead to being complacent. If you desire more means, how do you acquire it, if not by pushing your boundaries? Life always wants for more and staying within doesn’t aid that.

“Either I will find a way, or I will make one”- Philip Sidney

challenge

4) Have someone hold you accountable for the things you want to achieve. Find someone described in (2.) that can keep you in line and hold you to your targets.

5) Live intentionally, practice establishing the habits that you believe will aid in the enhancement of your life. I recently read ‘The Science of Getting Rich’ by Wallace Wattles, and the thing that stuck with me is doing things in a certain way. A certain way maybe implementing the habits of a role model, or being consistent, or disciplining yourself for a period of time, whatever it is let it be with purpose.

Ill end with this quote, “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step”- some Chinese philosopher, just kidding! Lao-tzu.

P.s Watch me talk about goal setting here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bnqZVmWaFB4

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