Monthly Archives: October 2015

What have you done for me lately? 

26 Monday Oct 2015

Posted by in Dreams, Life, More Action

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We always want more yet some of us have done so little with what we have. Ok let me speak for myself, I always want more, better even, but have I made great use of my current resources? Truth be told, no.
Each person has a unique set of skills, resources and ability. They may vary in degrees of expertise, or quality but they are nonetheless existent and purposeful. How purposeful? Well…that depends on you.

It’s Monday, so why not start with a fresh mind and a new direction? Write a list of all the things you have, be it a talent, skill, resource, material item, it could be anything and next to that item, state its use. The idea is to become more aware of what you have in your immediate possession. It will also help you to realise what you are not utilising well enough.

I’ll give you a few of mine that are on my list:

  1. Own vehicle (I value my independence greatly). I am able to move freely from place to place, at my own leisure, meaning I can make appointments, arrive to work on time(erm yeah), meet friends, travel up and down the country (I drove to Wales a couple months back), the list is endless.
  2. It allows me to develop my skills further, interact and build relationships with people that I may not encounter on a day to day basis. I makes moniessssssss, I mean I am paid for my services, which consequently affords me the standard of living that I have and the opportunity to develop myself further in other areas of life.
  1. Social media accounts (that I don’t use nearly as much as I should, ugh)-I can connect and reach people all over the world, I learn a lot about the issues that affect people nationally and internationally. I am also inspired and encouraged by the stories and lives of the people that I come across. People also get to see what I am about and my interests which is (currently) posing for the gram-just kidding!
  1. I am keen learner and can easily adapt to any environment. There’s little to nothing that I won’t make an attempt at doing, no matter how difficult, it’s always worth a try. It means that there’s a lot I am able to do.
  1. Healthy body (sort of, I need a six pack, help! I can’t stop stuffing my face) and a ‘sound’ mind.  I am able to function independently; I can get up and go. Whatever I set my mind to do, I can do. I have conditioned my mind to focus on the positive so I never stay down for long-thankfully (Once upon a time, I could be depressed for days/weeks/months on end).
  1. Ability to create, write, inspire, cultivate.
  1. Creative
  1. An analytical mind. I can piece things together quite quickly and find solutions.
  1. A good sense of style. Perception accounts for a lot

You may have a completely different set of ideals, and the above are just a few of mine. After writing down your list, intentionally decide on what you will use more, or maybe differently. Have it down as an action plan for the week, and let’s see what you come up with.

Till next time, have a great week!

‘I wish I was a little bit taller, I wish I was baller’

19 Monday Oct 2015

Posted by in Dreams

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I’m usually inspired by the people I meet and the conversations that I have. This particular dialogue is one that I have had with myself a lot. It’s the ‘I wish I could have’ one. My friend was talking about how he wishes he was a certain age again and what he would do differently-haven’t we all been there? Wishing we could go back in time and have that passion, that opportunity, that loved one, that money, but the truth is, we can’t go back, so what’s the point? Why hang onto ‘what used to be’ instead of relishing ‘what is and can be’.

Whenever that subject matter comes to mind, I actively think “stop holding onto the past, let it go, move on and be better”. Yes, you may not have the same drive, that chance or that relationship any more but what you do have is this moment right now. This moment to make things how you would want it to be, so that in a few years time, you can be happy and proud of the choices you’ve made and the way you have lived your life.

I have a friend I call ‘Mrs good times’ because she’s fond of looking back and saying those were good times yet I always say to her ‘but you didn’t think so at the time’. We are all guilty of doing that, wanting to rush into the next phase of our lives because the one we have right now just isn’t good enough and for many of us, it never will be. Our perception and consequently our attitude will determine how we feel about ourselves, and ultimately what we do.

2012 was an incredibly trying year for me. I was unemployed for most of it, to say that I was depressed would be using the word lightly. I had bills to take care of that superseded the amount of money I had at any given time.  I was working practically for free under duress; otherwise the meagre remuneration I was paid every two weeks would get cut off. After enduring a particularly difficult time, on my 25th birthday that year (which is mid December) I spent it crying my eyes out and I hate crying! I had well and truly reached my breaking point. Things eventually did get better. When I reflect on that period, there is one thing I had failed to realise, I did not appreciate the amount of time I had to myself.

My very first post on this blog was inspired by that season titled “Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time, for that is the stuff life is made of” a quote by Benjamin Franklin. I actually wrote that piece for a writing competition and decided to use it as my very first introduction to this blog site. I was completely blinded by my need to be self sufficient and pursue my aspirations that I could not see that the copious amount of time I had, could have been converted into creating work that required no one but me and my commitment. I started writing a novel in 2011 that I barely looked at in 2012. I was fixated on earning money, and seeking out others to give me an opportunity when there was one that I had in my hand. It was only after I began working again did I acknowledge the gem that I had been given.

Sometimes we go through things that we don’t fully understand all aspects of or value until much after the fact.

My rationale is this, no matter where you are at this present time, find the gift in it. Good or bad, there is always something to learn, develop and use to your greater advantage.

“The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly.”-Buddha

 

‘As a man thinketh, so is he’

12 Monday Oct 2015

Posted by in Life

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Listen to the audio version here:https://soundcloud.com/lipstickandblackcoffee/no-30

Why can’t it be me?

In one of my rare moments of reading the newspaper purely to feast my eyes on the luxurious properties, I came across a piece on the ‘Design duo Jay Osgerby and Edward Barber’. They created the 2012 Olympic torch and I thought, what an amazing opportunity, which no doubt would go down in the history books. Following on from last week’s post, I had a thought, why couldn’t that be me or you?

Very often, we wistfully admire others and their accomplishments without realising that we also could be achieving similar things, if only we would accept that it is possible.

It’s almost as if we resign great achievements and fulfilment to the ‘chosen ones’ rather than it is those who chose themselves as worthy.

Today I would like you to think of this, life is a constant rotation of trade by barter. You get something in return for what you give, you give nothing, you get nothing. Make efforts towards what you’ve always dreamt of.

Everything we see, use and live by was once a figment of someone’s imagination. Look around you, your TV, laptop, phone, house, car, was once a foolish idea. Your aspiration might be to be debt free, or to go on holiday with your family or to change careers, whatever it is, no matter how small or grandiose your ambition is, accept first, that it is possible.

The world is made up of so called impossibilities, let that fuel your fire.

Three valuable things to note that will help you:

1) You must surround yourself with people who are in line with your belief.

2) Saturate your life with the things that you believe or wanting to believe via books, videos, the conversations you have, pictures, visiting locations whatever supports your idea, cling to it.

3) Again, you must accept that it is possible and you are already half way there. Reject anything that opposes this idea. Keep your vision at the forefront of your mind, and do something every day that adds to your belief.

I reiterate the importance of your belief above because it governs what you do and how you live your life. The most important one of all that I haven’t mentioned is to believe in yourself, as it is a pre-requisite for embarking on any journey.

We attach so much of our self worth to things, money, individuals and the danger with that, is if that thing is destroyed, or someone says something harmful, or our bank balance is negative, it becomes an instant validation of who we are and it is not so. Value yourself, your worth is not and should not be determined by an inanimate object or someone else.  Their inability to not see your worth is their issue and not one you should take on.

I’ll end with this, believe in yourself, begin where you are, use what you have and finally do not mock small beginnings.

What about me?!

05 Monday Oct 2015

Posted by in Life

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What about me?!

Hellooooo? Anybody there? Is anyone listening to me right now?…no?

Do you ever feel like having a full blown tantrum, a real spit out your dummy moment, in the middle of the supermarket, because life just isn’t fair!

This would be me right now, and usually when I get into this space it’s something I have to exorcise out of me, which is what I’m doing now, by sharing this with you.

Occasionally I get this feeling of being the ‘last man standing’, almost as if I’m in the twilight zone, watching everything else happen around me, except to me. Its like standing at a bus stop, and no matter how much you wave your hands up and down, jump, stand in the road, the bus just won’t stop for you! It does make you think, is there something wrong with me? Why am I always last or being overlooked?

Here are some of my thoughts on why and what to do.

1) There is a season for everything. It is important to acknowledge and understand that you cannot sow and reap at the same time. Sometimes we are not equipped yet with the things we need in order to deal with a particular opportunity. There is a training process that has to ensue before we can embark on that journey. Anything given to us prematurely, we are likely to sabotage because of the lack of wisdom.

The remedy is to continue to work on whatever it is you desire and if it’s not something you can work on, shift your focus. Ever notice how some things come more easily to you when you are not paying attention? I rest my case.

2) Undeniably, it is a hard pill to swallow when you see others with the things that you have so desired for a long time. The green-eyed monster may even rear its ugly head, thus making you jaded. It’s common and happens to the best of us; however it should NOT get the best of us. The antidote for this is again to focus on your ish. Nurture your soil, the grass isn’t always greener on the other side, dedicate your efforts to what you have and what you are building. How many times have we looked at someone and thought, ‘I would love to have what they have’ and later on you find out that it was obtained through fraudulent means or that the ‘ideal’ relationship was in reality an abusive one? Not so appealing is it? Remember, a rose although pretty to look at, hosts a multitude of thorns. When the harvest is ripe it will happen for you and in some cases, better than expected.

3) Desperation reeks! There is something about being desperate that stinks of something terrible. It arrives before you and announces its presence in front of everyone. It in fact can act as a repellent for what you want. For example, you may have encountered a person that was infatuated by you, they wouldn’t stop calling, messaging, professing their undying love, yet all it did, was turn you off. Very often those people never move past the friend zone…I’m sure you get where I am going with this.

Desperation can cause you to behave unreasonably, and make costly decisions that are difficult to come back from. You can also end up sacrificing a lot more than you anticipated. Rather than operate from this space, actively chose to be strategic with your execution. For instance, lets look at the Mayweather vs Pacquiao fight that took place in May. Many people were up in arms about how ‘boring’ and ‘lack luster’ the fight was. Some said how Money May was running from Pacman, if that’s what you think he was doing then you don’t know the first thing about planning, strategy and execution. Nearly every move made by Mayweather was controlled, he undoubtedly was hit a number of times, but his strategy didn’t budge. You could see that he had a game plan, which was clearly working to his advantage. He had evidently done his research, and had mentally and physically prepared for his opponent. Everyone expected the fight to go down with right and left hooks, but he took a completely different approach, which his competitor did not envisage. This disarmed Pacman and left him visibly frustrated. Mayweathers stance gained him another world title and increased wealth, it pays in more ways than one to Plan, Strategise and Execute.

Don’t be predictable, be intentional, use the element of surprise to disarm your opponent (whatever that might be).

Now if all else fails, cry, cry profusely, and once you’ve done that, pick up from where you left off and continue on (just kidding), the idea is to keep on striving for better and not become bitter.

Ps You can now listen to an audio version of this post here https://soundcloud.com/lipstickandblackcoffee/no-29-what-about-me