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Monthly Archives: February 2016

Get your mind out of the gutter!

29 Monday Feb 2016

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Life

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

blue pill, challenge, dreams, excellence, forward, greatness, gutter, life, Mind, purpose, red pill

I have quite high expectations of my life and I work daily towards reaching and maintain those standards but sometimes, my thoughts trail off into the gutter.

What do I mean? When things get tricky, the first thing you want to do is to resort back to familiar behaviours. Its what you know and what you believe to have worked and that’s fine…except excellence and greatness, cannot come from sameness or being comfortable. You must push against the urge to settle for less or what you are used to.

Whatever you used to get ‘there’ has served its purpose and cannot be recycled to advance you to the next place; you must evolve or otherwise forever be stuck.

By way of our upbringing, surroundings, associations and interactions we are nurtured to think and behave in specific terms. It stays that way until one day, we are introduced to something different, possibility.

For example, you want to buy a home, however, once upon a time owning property wasn’t even a figment of your imagination, never mind it being an actual reality. Your parents weren’t homeowners and neither were your grandparents. You lived in an area where the residents predominantly lived on welfare. You attended school with most of the kids who lived in your area BUT one day, there was an opportunity to join an after school club which you took. The club was girls scout. There you met with girls of different ages and backgrounds. You befriended a girl who was from a middle class family. You went to her house, met her family, had sleepovers, and here, you were introduced to a different way of living. You have now been exposed to the possibility of something different.

A gutter usually contains waste, and is full of things that are no longer beneficial to and for you, in this case it would be old habits and thinking practices. I cant lie and say its easy to do, after all you are literally trying to rid yourself of something that has been a part of you for a very long time, so what do you do? Take the blue pill (old ways) which you have consistently taken for years or try the red one(new ways)where the possibilities are endless? It is always your choice.

Three things you need to know:

  • It wont be easy but it’ll be worth it
  • When it gets challenging, you WILL want to resort back to what is familiar because lets face it, it’s the safest option, BUT you may never have what it is that you have always desired.
  • The time is always now! Take it from me, its very easy to use the excuse of life has gotten in the way but with or without you, life will carry on. Its imperative to hold on and focus on the positive changes that you wish to effect into your life and the life of others.

I remember the year I graduated from University like it was yesterday, that was 7 years ago! And when I observe the things I wished to accomplish, I find that a lot has not yet been achieved, why? Well, life of course.

But how long will ‘life’ continue to be a crutch for the lack thereof? Again, the decision is made by you in what you opt to do on an everyday basis, take the blue pill, get the same results, take the red one and who knows? What do you have to lose?

Forward ever, backwards never.

 

 

He’s not that into you

22 Monday Feb 2016

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Life

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

interest, Love, man, relationship, settling, woman

He’s just not that into you.

You’re still entertaining that guy that you promised yourself you’d leave behind in 2015? Pray tell why?

As women we want to make a guy good even when he isn’t. We are prepared to go to hell or high water to make him be who we want him to be, but the truth is this, sh*t decorated is still sh*t. You can pretty it up all you want but no good is no good!

We can’t help it (well you can), we’re suckers for love and unfortunately we’ve been conditioned to believe in ‘fairy tales’ (without the work) and we willingly pay the price for it. The cost? settling.

A woman’s intuition is one of her greatest assets but we often go against it because we believe our good intentions for a person is sufficient.

So in light of the Twitter hashtag #wastehertime, let me save yours.

Patronisingly, we know some of these things, and would tell our friends what to do and how to do it, but yet and still taking our own advice is a hard pill to swallow.

Let me be your girlfriend from afar.

Hints he’s not into you

  1. You initiate most of the meet ups and organise them. What you have is not a love interest but a son. If you’ve got to encourage every meeting…he’s not that into you.
  2. You’ve been dating for a while and you’ve not met any of his friends, he has however, met some of yours.
  3. If you bump into some girl/friends of his and he fails to simply introduce you even just as friend, he has other motives. Likelihood is he still wants to seem available to others and one way to do that is by not introducing you. The signal it also sends out is that you are significant. Sorry
  4. If you have to decipher what he means in a message or something he said, you are doing way too much. Take it from someone who has been there-leave it. Guys usually say what they mean, they can be quite shrewd and calculated in what they reveal, especially in cases where they have no intentions of something meaningful.
  5. Sometimes it’s just as much about what they do as what they don’t do.
  6. If he shies away from meeting any of your friends or family, even on a casual basis, he is not interested in developing something serious or even remaining a friend. He doesn’t want to get attached to you or the people that are important to you, because when the time comes he’d like to make like Houdini and vamoose.
  7. He doesn’t take an interest in your life, day to day living or want to learn more about you.
  8. He never has any “time” for you. Oh but you say he’s busy? Here’s the thing, you’re never too busy for the things that you value or are a priority to you. You will create the time-period!
  9. Doesn’t include you in future plans

Of course these instances aren’t strict and there are some exceptions. If you are feeling uncomfortable with your current status, its because something’s amiss. Do yourself a favour don’t overlook it -Trust your instincts.

Like the infamous meme says, “If you gotta to force it, leave it alone. Relationships, friendships, ponytails, just leave it.” –Anon

Speaking of which, there might be someone I have to drop out…Great! -_-

 

 

 

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