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Monthly Archives: December 2016

2016: Final Thoughts

31 Saturday Dec 2016

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Dreams, Life, More Action, Thoughts in motion

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2017, blogger, growth, Lessons, life, Love, new year, writer

What a crazy and challenging year!

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t looking forward to the New Year ahead. I am sooooooooo ready for it for many reasons.

I have learnt an incredible amount and there’s nothing like good ol’ trial and tribulations to grow you ‘real quick’.

I pushed myself and was pushed, I loved, I lost, I succeeded and failed miserably, I strengthened relationships and some I severed. All in all, these are the things that enrich my life for the better.

My top 5 takeaways are:

  1. Everything has a season. A time to sow and a time to reap. It will happen for you, be patient.
  2. BE patient
  3. Trust your intuition
  4. It will not work if you don’t
  5. Don’t force it. Pay to attention to what you really should be paying attention to and give that your energy.

I have to emphasise this, 2017 can only be better if you are. Do whatever you can that’s within your power to live your best life yet.

Be mindful of what you think, use caution when you speak, and act as often as you can.

I wish you a fantastic New Year and a MIND BLOWING 2017!!!

Much love

Irene Xo

P.s Some pics below from my recent birthday…I jumped out of a plane!  I’ll talk about my birthday another time, what an experience!

 

 

image3-1image2 (2).JPGOLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

 

The Writing’s on the Wall

28 Wednesday Dec 2016

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Experiences, Life, Thoughts in motion

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2017, blogger, Intuition, Men, Relationships, trust, voice, Women, writer

The most vital lesson for me this year was to trust my intuition. Your inner voice knows best, don’t doubt it, believe in yourself! Trust. That. Voice.

PSA: A recommended good friend doesn’t necessarily make a good boyfriend or girlfriend.

I must be putting out ‘I need a man vibes’, because over the past 2 years, I have been encouraged by those close to me to consider people who they thought highly of. Two of those did not pan out well AT ALL.

But here’s the kicker, in both of those situations, I knew from the very beginning it wasn’t going to work, yet I continued on in great hope that it will just “work”, and that I would eventually be wrong.

Desperation + Desire= Disaster, sheer catastrophe, abort mission!

I always say that the worst place to operate out of is desperation. I don’t think I have ever had good results from taking action whilst in this mode.When you want something bad enough it can completely cloud your judgement and stifle your ability to make sound decisions.

I was forcing it to work with people, where my intuition and experience told me it would not work. I ignored all and every warning sign telling me to ‘abort mission!’ because I believed I deserved it and was prepared by any means necessary to get it. I had had enough of being told this or that, and being looked upon as the ‘problematic one’, so I forced it.

What did forcing it look like? Well, it looked like putting aside my standards, tolerating things that went against my better thinking, and in effect devoting time, effort, energy into the wrong places. The cost of this? My peace of mind, full functionality and temporary insanity.

I have had people all through my adult life, tell me that I am quite particular, especially when it comes to relationships and that I needed to be more malleable.You hear it long enough, you start to believe it and I did. I started to doubt myself and what I truly knew was right, in exchange for what people told me about myself.

I am not blaming these people, because at the end of the day the decision was mine to make. I placed more value on their opinions over what I knew to be true for me.  It was at this point, I knew that I had f**ked up.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s good to have different opinions, it’s healthy in some cases, as it establishes a dialogue that may not have been had before, however, I cannot stress how important it is for YOU to have the final say in terms of what goes on in your life, your word is the most valuable.

We all have an inner navigation system that guides us in life, make good use of it, it’s there to help you. The more you use it, the easier it becomes to detect.

How I identify that voice:

  • I know it because it disturbs me at the most random and very often, inappropriate time.
  • My heart starts to race whenever it comes to mind, letting me know that there is action I need to take.
  • There’s a tightness in my stomach
  • Unease when doing something that you have been putting off.

These are my tell-tale signs that there is something not quite right and needs addressing. Once I do it, there is a huge weight off my shoulders.

If it doesn’t look right, smell right, feel right, let it go, leave it. You cannot dress up shit and even if you manage to, it doesn’t last long, it will eventually hit the fan.

Save yourself the aggro and do what you’re supposed to while you still have control.

Trust your intuition.

XO

P.s Your intuition might be the most unpopular feeling to everyone else, still go with it, it’s for you, not everyone else.

Hey Copycat! Results may differ

14 Wednesday Dec 2016

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Experiences, Life, More Action, Thoughts in motion

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

2017, Authentic, blogger, Christmas, Copycat, lifestyle, New me, new year, Original, Wordpress, writer

This topic was a bit of a tricky one to articulate but I hope you get it.

This journey you are on called life, is tailored specifically just for you. It takes into consideration your strengths, weakness, gifts, abilities, environment, circumstances and everything in between. There is no other life like it and your only goal is to make the most of it, multiply whatever you have, be impactful and do your best to thrive. You cannot be duplicated, which means you cannot do the same to someone else. So no matter how alike you and someone else’s life might seem, yours is made just for you.

Okay now that’s out of the way, let’s get on with the rest of it.

We, humans of this planet (said in James Earl Jones voice), are all connected, so of course we’ll share similarities and certainly have things in common but be the same? And have the exact same experiences? Nope, sorry, not going to happen.

There is no harm in having people that you look up to, is there? I personally think it is good to have role models and be inspired by them, yet there is the danger that you’d want to replicate all that they do so that you can experience the same things they do, even though in practice it doesn’t always work out. Whether it is principles, products, services, formulas and the like, you have to be mindful that what works for them, doesn’t necessarily mean it will work for you. How many times have we done what someone else did and it didn’t quite have the same effect?

Life is not a one size fits all and it never will be. Sure there are some fundamental principles that reign supreme and always will, however, it is about tailoring it to make it applicable to your life. You have to keep working towards figuring out what works for YOU and stick with it until it has fully served its purpose.

Whatever you implement into your life that someone advises or did themselves, remember that you are not the same person and the results may differ, so STOP comparing yourself- It’s killing your vibe.

It’s like doctors say, do not share your prescription with anyone, even if the symptoms sound the same. The reason is because that person might have an underlying condition/allergy that can cause the medication to have adverse effects.

I have been blogging for over two years and there are people who started blogging this year, who have much more subscribers than I. Damn right I thought, “what the hell?!” I write that good stuff and think what I have to say is valuable, why don’t I have an increased amount of readership?

Here’s the thing, my purpose, goals, training, are completely different to anyone else’s. Whatever I don’t have yet, I choose to see it as I am being taught how to cultivate it by way of the lessons life teaches and wills me to learn. If, for example, I received ten thousand readers a year ago, maybe I would not have the discipline I have now. In fact I know I probably wouldn’t have, I might have been like ‘ahh yeah I’ll blog when I can’ but now, there is no way I would ever devalue those that take an interest in what I write and find it useful. What if I am not supposed to have a large amount of readers and this is it for me in this area? Well if that is the case that it is serving its purpose one way or another, whether I know it or not. It may even be preparing me for something wholly different.

When we pay attention to what someone else is doing we lose focus, will and control over our lives. Focus on you, that’s the only way to get the best results.

Know that your life is not to be mirrored; it is to be authentic, original and yours truly.

XO

Petty Bitter Betty

08 Thursday Dec 2016

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Experiences, Life, Thoughts in motion

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Appreciation, Gratitude, Love, Negative, perspective, Positive, Powerful, Thoughts become things, words

We are wired wrong.

There are some things that people are incredibly sensitive about, one of them is birthdays. I think nearly everyone can relate to this.

Mine is coming up and I had sent out invitations last night. Of course, with these things you get an onslaught of ‘I can’t make it’, ‘Sorry’, ‘I have a previous engagement’, blah blah blah! It’s to be expected. However it still doesn’t stop you from being in your feelings.

This was me yesterday, I began to think and feel negative about the fact that some of the invitees could not make it. I thought about the many, many, many times I had shown up for them in different ways and felt slighted that the efforts I make aren’t always reciprocated. This train of thought, coupled with my own other insecurities spell disaster. I even considered from this point onwards, not showing up for people and reducing the ways that I over extend and often times inconvenience myself to support these people. But then I caught myself, pressed pause and checked my thoughts.

This was the conversation I was having in my head and all within a few minutes might I add-Could you imagine, if I allowed this dialogue to continue for hours, days, months? I’d be a lil’ menace and a petty bitter betty. Thankfully, the good voice always reigns supreme so it never wins, but I have had some close calls.

It dawned on me that I was paying way too much unnecessary attention to all the no’s and not valuing and appreciating all the yeses and there were yeses. What the hell is wrong me?!

I know I am not the only one whose wiring is configured to magnify and exacerbate the negatives rather than promote and celebrate the wonderful positives. We have unfortunately been conditioned this way and it serves as our go-to whenever we face something we don’t particularly like and in some cases even when the circumstances are favourable, we find something to be upset about. This disposition is a huge blessing and gratitude blocker too.

It made me realize how deep rooted negative thinking can be and how it shows up even in the small things. It is not only damaging to you, but to the people around you. It’s a condition that needs treatment immediately effectively otherwise it may cause depression, isolation, or worse, death. And I am not kidding either.

It’s this kind of thinking that can eventually lead people to wanting to end it all, or find a destructive vice, like drugs, sex, self-harm, eating disorders and the like. So please don’t take it lightly, for your own good, do something about it.

I am often checking myself and filtering the thoughts that pass through my head, taking the ones that will serve me and ditching the ones that will not, although I am not always successful in respect of the latter, yet, still, I try.

I have to say something else that I don’t think a lot of people are aware of and it’s this: Not every thought that comes to mind is yours or is for you. Sometimes there are thoughts in the ether looking for a mind to stick to (which is why words are powerful, but that’s a topic for another day). There are times I have thoughts and I think ‘hold up, that’s not of me’ and immediately reject it.

Give it a shot, choose to be conscious of your thoughts, even the seemingly insignificant ones and examine if they are helping or destroying you.

As a very AA colloquial saying goes, ‘Check yourself, before you wreck yourself’.

Oh, and don’t be a PBB, it’s not a good look 🙂

XO

Ps You know how I say I am dramatic right?…let me give you a better idea, King Julien IS my spirit animal (He gets me Lol!), nuff said.

Pps The urge to be petty always exists but then again so does Karma and that trumps petty so…erm…think about that.

2016: Its not over till the fat lady sings!

05 Monday Dec 2016

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Experiences, Life, More Action, Motivational & Intentional

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blogger, dreams, New Life, Worst Year, writer, YouTube

My last post was a doozy! Phew. But we’re here now and moving forward.

We have 3.5 weeks left before we’re in officially in 2017! Does that excite you?

I have been saying that I cannot wait for 2016 to be over for the a little while now and then I thought about it, why can’t I wait? What about it being 2017 will make a difference?

Let’s think about it. In reality all it is, is another day. That’s it.

With the risk of sounding cynical, it’s not like we’re able to wipe out 2016 nor is there a worldwide ritual that takes place in order to enter into the New Year.

New and better things are ultimately down to us. The wonderful thing about that is you can begin again at anytime and anywhere.

Did you hear me? I said at ANYTIME and ANYWHERE. So why wait till 2017?

You hear hoards of people say ‘this year is my year’ and they talk about all the great and magnificent things that will happen. How sway? Transformation only comes through changed and consistent behaviour. You can’t do the same thing and expect there to be some revolution in your life. You have to put the work in.

Many parts of this year may not have been great or enjoyable but I am determined to end the year well and welcome my life into 2017 with grace, strength and a new energy and that starts now! There is absolutely no time like the present. Where is the sense in waiting for the New Year when you can implement change right now this second?!

You want things to be different? Start now. Work on those habits that have created the life you live that you want to be rid of. Remove old ways of thinking, and put on a new way of thinking-Be transformed by the renewing of your mind

And remember your power is in the small things.

XO

Psst…watch my very first (and probably last) video of the year! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pVgcWtKzuGM&t=301s

 

 

 

 

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