Author Archives: Irene Ephraim

A Little Joy

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I cannot remember the last time I decorated my home for Christmas. My family, at least the younger lot, aren’t fussed with Christmas much to my dismay. How and why don’t you love it?!?

Keeping up the Christmas cheer when others around you are not enthusiastic about it, has been challenging and ultimately demotivating. As a result my festive spirit waned over the years. Bah hambug!

This year is different. Maybe it’s because I’m away from home and in a new home, but I decided that given everything that has happened, creating a little joy in our place was necessary.

Saturday was the first day of the non-essential shops reopening, and having spent the last few weeks only going to the supermarket and straight back home, I was itching to get out and do other normal things, albeit with a mask on.

We spent the day deciding on Christmas decor; should we get a white tree? a green one? a snow Christmas tree? tinsel? a Christmas plant? decorative Christmas window stickers? Yes. Yes to everything.

That evening we put the tree together. It looked small and scrawny.
We spent the first few seconds after erecting the tree laughing at how uncharismatic and un-christmas it looked. Um did we make a mistake going for this tree?

Before

A can of fake snow, tinsel, glittery green and gold baubles and LED lights later, we had a semblance of healthy-ish and joyful looking tree. Results! (Still a work in progress)

Christmas Decorations
After

The warm and inviting ambience the lights create as it subtly illuminates the room, gives me instant joy and is a reminder that good and wonderful things exist. I’m glad I didn’t succumb to being the Grinch this year, as 2020 really doesn’t need any help with that!

My point is mark the occasion, no matter how little or who likes it or doesn’t, curate a little joy for yourself.
xo

This is it currently 🙂

LATEST POSTS

Gratitude

This week has been…*deep exhale* In any case, we made it. And we mustn’t take it lightly. Someone, before the end of this sentence has left this realm. We mustn’t take lightly, the gift we’ve been given. It was 4am and I couldn’t sleep. No surprise there. I went downstairs and made a cup of …

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by Irene Ephraim

The Gardener & Bouncer

The title, The Gardener & Bouncer, sounds like a sordid, salacious, juicy story doesn’t it? Sorry to disappoint, it’s not. Not this time anyway. What are you streaming? I don’t mean on the telly or PC, I mean on your minds streaming device. What are you picking up and creating stories around? What has slipped …

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by Irene Ephraim

Nothing Was The Same

Nothing was the same. Do you know what’s beautiful about this time? None of us have been here before. And I suppose with nothingness in front of us, there is an opportunity here, to create from scratch. We can imagine and design something new for ourselves; as brilliant and advanced ways of being, have come from …

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by Irene Ephraim

In My Feelings

I’m fuming. Well I was a few hours ago. Every cuss word you can think of, I uttered it. I also thought about wishing constipation on the person who vexed me, just on one occasion (it’s mean I know). I’m still thinking about it… Anyone else suffer from severe anxiety when travelling? I do and have …

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by Irene Ephraim

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20 Things to Know In Your 20’s – Part 2 (Reposted)

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My next post is titled ‘Navigating Your 30’s’ and I thought before I drop that, I’d repost an oldie but goodie from 2017. I wrote this in the days leading up to my 30th birthday, and much has changed, with me that is.

For now, a quick refresh on things to know in your 20’s and at any age for that matter.

“Continuing on from my last post on Sunday, here are the next 10 things I have learnt in my 20’s:

  1. Not everyone’s opinion matters, in fact yours is the most important. And if yours is self-depreciating then you need to remedy that immediately effectively.
  2. Heartbreak hurts like a bitch, but one day you will be better. I was in love with someone for years and I honestly thought my little heart will never mend. It did. Now, I look back and laugh (cackle) at how dramatic that period of my life was. It was also one of the biggest teachers I have ever had.
  3. Don’t be okay with the okey doke. If you believe you can have different, then go for it irrespective of what people say or the environment you are in. Many Greats started at the very bottom.
  4. For my ladies, you can say no to sex if you don’t want to. Men, you don’t have to sleep with a girl, you control your membrane. Society might encourage that behaviour but for us all it is okay to say no, not today. The opposite is also okay too. But do so with caution and sense
  5. Let go. It requires way too much to hold on.
  6. Cut and or reduce communication with those that do not add to your life. Honestly, the power is in your hands. You absolutely have a say in who should be in your life and who shouldn’t. It takes one person to ruin your life, don’t let that happen on your watch
  7. Travel. If it’s your thing and even if it’s not, a few visits to new places won’t hurt you, it’ll enrich your life.
  8. Work on your discipline. To live the life you want will require sacrifice and discipline, otherwise years will go by and nothing in your life would have changed.
  9. Think carefully about what you want your future to look like and start to work on it now.
  10. People will let you down, repeatedly and you’ll do the same to others. Its life, nobody is perfect, don’t beat yourself up about it (I’m working on this as we speak), just do better.

I hope you find some of the 10 tips useful, what are your tips?

Xo”

LATEST POSTS

First of the First.

01.01.2021. There is something satisfying about this date. It denotes promise and a strength to start afresh.Nothing need ever be the same if you do not want it to be, as whatever has happened, has happened. It’s in the past. So with today, tomorrow and every other day, you have the opportunity to live your …

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by Irene Ephraim

2021.

Is there much to say except, WE MADE IT!This wild ride of a year. When films depicted what the future would look like, it was flying cars, superpowers and robots, not a global virus, worldwide lockdown and quarantine. Wait, did The Simpsons predict this? They seem to be right on the money on these things. …

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by Irene Ephraim

Navigating Your 30’s, You Should…

On the 17th, I turned 33. My Jesus Year. Whew. I can finally say that without thinking and feeling impending gloom (shout out to therapy).  In the last year I have seen various conversations online about how incredible it is once you get to your 30’s and the leaps and bounds you make. I don’t …

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by Irene Ephraim

Good Choices

What choices have you made was a question I was asked today. I wrote the question down in my trusty Office Depot blue notepad to answer it. My instinct was to list the ‘bad’ choices, the habits that do not serve me and then—No. I’m not going to do that, I’m going to do the opposite. I …

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by Irene Ephraim

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Transitions

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I have been drafting this post for weeks, and with each passing day I say I’m going to finish it and click publish.
My perfectionism has had a firm grip on me, and it’s baby, procrastination, has been tap dancing all around me, however, I— I think today is D-Day.
It’s fortuitous as our friends stateside near the end of the presidential election, and my family and friends in England are preparing for a lockdown and I, well, I’m already in a lockdown in France. It’s all systems go and transitions of all sorts are afoot. 

Transitions can be ugly, messy and traumatic. Even the beautiful and welcomed ones can still be difficult and sad.
I think it’s safe to say that we’re all experiencing a transition period of varying degrees, consisting of upheavals, rapid change, deep losses and lots of growing pains.

Naturally, there’ll be emotions that come up as you go through this phase, but don’t dismiss or suppress them as they surface. Allow them to breathe and work through them.
By doing this, you’re clearing the way and getting rid of the gunk in a healthier fashion and in turn making space to think clearly, and direct your energy where you truly want it.

Trust me, I get it. There is so much going on and it’s challenging to sift out what is for you and useful, and what isn’t.
With this in mind, what has become increasingly clear over the past few months is the power of words. And in this era of instant send and receive, it is crucial to own and use language that is not only yours, but in cultivating the circumstances you want to bring to life.
So be intentional. Create a haven for yourself with whatever you have. Envision something greater and keep going—You’ve made it this far, you’ll get through this too!

Xo

P.s I am still not entirely pleased with this post. The words just lack synergy, it feels gritty, but the aim is progress, not perfection.

LATEST POSTS

Tier Me To Pieces

Talks of Tier 5? What are they doing? Who is in BJ’s camp advising him? And when will they all leave this office?  Feels like we’re unlocking a new level in a game, but instead of gaining points, collecting treasures and getting super powers, we’re awarded an increase in frustration, confusion and sadness.I’m convinced Boris …

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by Irene Ephraim

Yours or Mine?

Are the goals and dreams you have yours? As in, do they belong to you? Were they carefully crafted in your mind, and intricately thought about by you, for you?  Are you sure?  Are YOU sure? Just checking.  I saw someone get featured in a magazine and the next thought I had was ‘Oh I’d …

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by Irene Ephraim

A Little Joy

I cannot remember the last time I decorated my home for Christmas. My family, at least the younger lot, aren’t fussed with Christmas much to my dismay. How and why don’t you love it?!? Keeping up the Christmas cheer when others around you are not enthusiastic about it, has been challenging and ultimately demotivating. As …

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by Irene Ephraim

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Advocate For Yourself

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I have a picture frame on my chest of drawers, and when I feel like it I change the picture to suit my mood.
This time around I chose a baby picture of myself, and what I saw was my zest for life, excitement and innocence. I was full of promise.
I also saw a little girl that over the years was unprotected, not well supported, disappointed and sad. Perpetually sad.

In that moment I decided that whilst others may not have taken up for me as a child, because of their own things and not having the best tools, I, will take up for me.
I am not child anymore, and although she (I) still needs nurturing, I am now better equipped to give myself the care, support, and gentleness that I need(ed), and advocate for myself.

What does advocating look like for me currently? Advocating for myself is investing in therapy for 3+ years and counting, setting and maintaining boundaries, changing my environment, starting all over again, doing things that bring me joy, shedding old ways, thinking for myself and doing what I want to do, not what society, or family, or friends think I should do, guarding my heart and all my senses, and much much more.

We no longer have to wait for a Knight or Dame in shining armour. The person you have been waiting for is you.
So how will you advocate for yourself?
The beauty of it is, you get to decide how it happens.

Unlearning and learning the things that edify you is never easy and is seldom straightforward, but commit to the process and to designing a life that you not only love, but are proud of.
And as you consider how you will support yourself, the compassion, grace, and care that you often extend to others, gather those things and give it to yourself.

Xo

The Ground Is Fertile

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The ground is fertile.

Everything is moving at lightning speed. And having paid very close attention to the times (yes, with all that is happening), now is the time to sow seeds, and to sprint towards your goals.

All we’ve known is being uprooted, things are shifting quickly, people are realising more and more what’s important, and ultimately change is afoot.

There are no blueprints to follow, because at this moment in history, everyone is figuring it out for themselves. Everyone.
This is the perfect opportunity to do away with the things you’ve always felt obligated to do, and carve out something new, something brilliant, something specially thought of for you, and by you.

Xo

P.s Don’t say I didn’t give you the heads up.

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Transitions

I have been drafting this post for weeks, and with each passing day I say I’m going to finish it and click publish. My perfectionism has had a firm grip on me, and it’s baby, procrastination, has been tap dancing all around me, however, I— I think today is D-Day. It’s fortuitous as our friends …

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by Irene Ephraim

Advocate For Yourself

I have a picture frame on my chest of drawers, and when I feel like it I change the picture to suit my mood. This time around I chose a baby picture of myself, and what I saw was my zest for life, excitement and innocence. I was full of promise. I also saw a …

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by Irene Ephraim

A Whole New World

As each day passes, it seems like those in office are making Ip Dip Doo decisions concerning our lives, and I am both appalled and fed up.  I am in that delirious stage of dealing with change, where I experience bouts of hysteria, because what we are experiencing is so unbelievable. I keep expecting the …

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by Irene Ephraim

Tenets

A little while ago someone asked me for some tips on blogging, and so many thoughts came to mind. I had much to say; things I regret not doing, things I could have only learnt on the job, things I wish someone had told me, and things that are difference makers.I gave her my most …

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by Irene Ephraim

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A Whole New World

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As each day passes, it seems like those in office are making Ip Dip Doo decisions concerning our lives, and I am both appalled and fed up. 

I am in that delirious stage of dealing with change, where I experience bouts of hysteria, because what we are experiencing is so unbelievable. I keep expecting the director to shout ‘cut’ to end scene, as surely this cannot be real life?! 

It caused me to think of my childhood, and how I was conditioned to believe that ‘grown ups’ were all knowing and made sound decisions. Ha!
Of course that isn’t entirely true, and truthfully it’s unnerving, because who do you trust? Who can you rely on to make decisions that have your best interests at heart? Decisions that will impact your future and other generations?
Those that we have elected intentionally or not, are simply not connected to the issues that affect a majority.

With that said, we cannot afford to give all the power to people evidently ill-equipped. It is up to us to design a life that works best, despite the recession, pandemic, Brexit, questionable leadership, and myriad of other things.

This might mean changing your lifestyle, moving cities, taking up causes, career changes, retraining or doubling down on the vision you have for your future.
And no, you cannot half-heartedly do it. There can be no dipping of toes into water, or observing others go for it, looking for evidence in their moves as to why perhaps you shouldn’t.
You, must pursue your dreams, with reckless abandon.

A whole new world (a whole new world)
A new fantastic point of view
No one to tell us, “No”
Or where to go
Or say we’re only dreaming

Xo

Latest Posts

The Ground Is Fertile

The ground is fertile. Everything is moving at lightning speed. And having paid very close attention to the times (yes, with all that is happening), now is the time to sow seeds, and to sprint towards your goals. All we’ve known is being uprooted, things are shifting quickly, people are realising more and more what’s …

Continue reading →

by Irene Ephraim

Death, Loss, A Gift?

We don’t belong here, if we did, we’d be here forever.We’re merely passing through.  Many people see Chadwick’s death as a deep loss, which it is, yet I can’t help but think, what a gift.  4 years ago he was diagnosed with Stage III Colon Cancer, and God said we could have him for as …

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by Irene Ephraim

Truth Hurts

I came across this post two days ago by Monika A Mazur, and felt attacked by it.  Can’t complain about results you don’t have for work you didn’t do. It convicted me, and reiterated that doing the work isn’t a part-time gig. Enjoy your weekend, but next week, we’re going to be on job! Xo

by Irene Ephraim

Today Is A Good Day To…

You see the nice clothes in your wardrobe that you are saving for a ‘moment’ in your life? Wear it, because being alive is THE moment. The business you’re waiting for the right time to start because money, resources, and support isn’t there yet, sis, sir, those things will come, but you have to make …

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by Irene Ephraim

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Tenets

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A little while ago someone asked me for some tips on blogging, and so many thoughts came to mind.

I had much to say; things I regret not doing, things I could have only learnt on the job, things I wish someone had told me, and things that are difference makers.
I gave her my most significant lessons, which in all honesty apply to many things, and I am sharing them with you today.
*record scratch* I had initially typed up the seven points I gave her, but upon reflection, I changed my mind as I really, really, really want you to focus on the important stuff. And now we have three.

  1. No, your idea is not stupid. Run with it. The journey from inception to fruition might be a jog, sprint, or marathon, whatever it may be, just start! It doesn’t matter what it looks like, if there are errors or if it’s not exactly how you envisioned it, put ALL of that aside and start with what you have. And yes, you might be the only one who believes in it, still do it!
  2. The best way to get better is to ‘do’. Do more, and that means practice, practice, practice! Practice precedes progress and improvement. Practice well.
  3. Consistency. This one will make or break what you do. Do not underestimate it at all. Your work and purpose depends on it. It won’t be like that forever, but at the beginning and perhaps for a (very) long time, make consistency your goal. Think of anyone you consider to be successful, were they an overnight success? Absolutely not. It was consistency, trial and error and patience.

The chances are, you know these things already, and if so, I’m reminding you again. There is no escaping these tenets, so you might as well concede, and be on your merry way to hopefully, a more enriched life, doing the thing(s) you have always wanted.

Xo

Latest Posts

Words are Genies.

Whether you’re a spiritual person or not, if you ask for something you will get it. The caveat however, is that it may not be in the form or fashion that you expect. At 2am on Monday, I pray and ask for the things I’d like this week. One of them was the courage to …

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by Irene Ephraim

A Long Walk

I have written some of these sentences multiple times, willing words to automatically materialise. It didn’t. At least not with ease. Words still escape me.  This year The past few months The last three weeks have been worse than a Nightmare on Elm Street. When I said I could feel my second wind coming, I …

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by Irene Ephraim

When Life Stopped

Fam. -Usually precedes the beginning of a wild, terrible, crazy, unbelievable story. If you have been able to do something, anything, during this time, kudos to you. If you haven’t because life stopped, dropped, rolled (a euphemism for shit blew up), kudos to you too. In both scenarios, you are doing what is best for …

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by Irene Ephraim

New Normal

      In this new normal that the world is currently living in, something to remember as we connect more with ourselves, with others, and possibly blasts from the past is this: Words deceive, patterns do not. Look alive (Also stay alive). xo

by Irene Ephraim

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Death, Loss, A Gift?

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We don’t belong here, if we did, we’d be here forever.
We’re merely passing through. 

Many people see Chadwick’s death as a deep loss, which it is, yet I can’t help but think, what a gift. 

4 years ago he was diagnosed with Stage III Colon Cancer, and God said we could have him for as long as we did? To do all that he did?
A gift 🎁

My friend Franklin ascended 4 months after diagnosis. And whilst his life was even more brief in years, I still feel very grateful to have known him. 
A gift 🎁 

God could have called them home a lot sooner. 

We do not determine when we will leave, so with what you have, make sure when it’s time to go, you’re empty.
Franklin gave me his belief in me and constant support. 
Chadwick gave us a piece of history, and a reconciling of who we are, not just in Black Panther, but in his life’s work. 

Be a gift, leave a legacy.
🎁

May they and those who have left this earth, rest in perfect peace.

Xo

 

Truth Hurts

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I came across this post two days ago by Monika A Mazur, and felt attacked by it. 

Can’t complain about results you don’t have for work you didn’t do.


It convicted me, and reiterated that doing the work isn’t a part-time gig.

Enjoy your weekend, but next week, we’re going to be on job!

Xo

Latest Posts

Rest

Well that went left very quickly. 2019 was what I considered to be the year of the purge. It felt like we were going through a spiritual and physical transformation in preparation for the new decade, and I accepted that, however, I don’t think whatever that period was meant to teach us stuck, so here …

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by Irene Ephraim

A Will, A Way.

I have been willing myself to complete a post for weeks now to no avail. Five different topics with a beginning, a middle and no end. Huff. As I finished writing that last sentence, a thought came to me to just post one as is, and that’s what I’m going to do. Too often we …

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by Irene Ephraim

Life Is Beautiful Yet Tragic

Life is beautiful yet tragic for the same reason, life goes on. No matter what happens in our world, irrespective of how life changing it may be, life goes on. It doesn’t respect persons or their wants, even when parts of the world is shook by something, life doesn’t suddenly come to a halt, the …

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by Irene Ephraim

2019, Bye. 2020, Hello.

I am ready for the New Year and what it may bring however, there is a one thing I think we all should do. It is only right that as we enter into the year 2020 that we get clarity as where there is no vision, the people perish.  Get clear on the things you …

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Today Is A Good Day To…

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Yup. Got a piercing and went blonde.

You see the nice clothes in your wardrobe that you are saving for a ‘moment’ in your life? Wear it, because being alive is THE moment.

The business you’re waiting for the right time to start because money, resources, and support isn’t there yet, sis, sir, those things will come, but you have to make the first move.

The relationship you’re afraid of committing to because of the hurt you’ve experienced in the past (emphasis on ‘in the past’), well, it is time to move on. I mean hello?! Life is short! Live a little lot.

Psst. Come closer. I took a risk in a romantic relationship this year and I’m rich bitch! in love that is, not money. Money? Pffftt let’s just put an asterisks there. 

The house you want that you’ve considered a fantasy, man make the call, find out what you need to do, arrange a virtual tour, hire a financial adviser, speak to the bank, yes now, even in these uncertain times, because eventually the tide will change and you will be ready.

The life you have dreamt of creating in a new country but now seems impossible, do not abandon the dream! Get online, research, apply for the visa, YouTube is your friend and go for it!

The body that you want, first of all, love yours and then make adjustments. You cannot truly have what you do not first feel, no matter any physical alterations you may make.

During this wild ride of 2020, I have seen people buy homes, move across the world to start a life with their fiancé, get married, secure new jobs, make the most amount of money they have ever made, sell out of products multiple times over, you name it, its happening. And it could be happening for you. 

There will always be ‘something’ and or a thousand reasons why you shouldn’t, couldn’t, wouldn’t, the good thing is, you only need one reason why you should.
Take that leap, or at least hop.

Xo

P.s I have exciting news to announce soon. You’ll be hearing my voice, wherever you are in the world eek! From pen pals to ASMR. Can’t wait!

Latest Posts

What 2009-2019 Taught Me.

Before you receive an onslaught of all the decade stuff, I thought I’d quickly slide mine in there and share some of the things I’ve learnt over the last 10 years. I started this decade as a 22 year old, who didn’t know shit, still doesn’t, ha! Anyway, without further ado, here they are: Love …

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by Irene Ephraim

Finishing Strong

***Updated*** Typically around this time of the year we start to reflect on all that we’ve done. We look at what have achieved and what we haven’t. We examine closely the things we didn’t get to do and resign to saying ‘2020’ is my year. Pray tell, how will 2020 be any different if you’re …

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by Irene Ephraim

One At A Time

  I really hope this post meets you well. Can you believe we’re nearly at the end of the year? AND we’re about to enter into a new decade? Wild. 2019 so far for myself and a lot of others, has been a roller coaster of emotions and experiences that we never expected. Things like, unemployment, …

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by Irene Ephraim

Take A Picture

It’s hard to see growth when there’s no tangible evidence. You can easily begin to think badly of yourself and how much you haven’t done and of all the things you have not accomplished. There’s a great way to address that, document it. I’m about to tell you a story, that might sound random, but …

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by Irene Ephraim

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