Category Archives: Experiences

Major Key Alert

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I am constantly reminded that a major key to success is consistency. Even when you get the thing you have worked for, you have to maintain it and maintaining it requires consistent action.  Relationships, money, career, health, home, everything needs to be maintained and in some cases improved upon by consistent effort. It will be near impossible to sustain something if the energy you devote to it is every once in while.

10% effort means 10% results, in fact that’s a lie, what you will most likely get is less than 10% results.  Your output has to be greater than what you want. So if you want 100% results then you must put in 130% (not an accurate figure) consistently and this applies to absolutely everything, especially when you are just starting out.

Now, I have to be honest or I should say realistic, it may take months, years even before you start to see the fruits of your labour and you have to be okay with that. You will sometimes feel like giving up but you owe it to yourself to see things through. Trust me, those steps that you take repeatedly that feel and look like nothing to you, will one day materialise into something worthwhile.

No one who has attained great success in anything did it once. Your fav spent YEARS investing in themselves for you to see them as they are, so hold tight, keep working and when the time is ripe, it will happen.

W(ait)ork for it.

Xo

P.s This post is more for me than it is for you. I have work to do…ugh.

In Hot Pursuit of…Happiness

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I worry about losing myself in pursuit of creating the best life. I think about the cost of the sacrifice and if at all, it’ll all be worth it in the end.

It frightens me the influence money has over the lives of many, although it’s not hard to see why as it does provide a certain quality of life the more you have of it. At least that is the belief.

I like to learn from others and I spend a lot of time studying people so as to not make the same mistakes they’ve made or better still to emulate their successes.

Amongst the people I have paid close attention to, some of which are extremely accomplished, there seems to be a reoccurring theme that they all speak of. Their successes are not an immediate solution to unhappiness. It is not a master key and it certainly doesn’t unlock a lifetime’s supply continuous joy and contentment.

Just so you get the gist of what I am talking about, please have a watch of this video before you read on https://www.youtube.com com /watch?v=zYDKCx4hSQQ.

We think reaching our goals will bring us everything we have ever wanted (not so, as there’ll be the next thing to obtain), but in all honesty it may just provide temporary satisfaction because our happiness isn’t supposed to be incumbent on the things we acquire or even upon people. It is and always has been an inside job.

Now by no means am I advocating that you give up on your dreams and settle for whatever comes your way, what I am imploring however is a need to check in with yourself and evaluate your life. Be a free thinker, decide what is best for you void of external factors and stimulants and choose to BE happy.

The video below, sums up a few of my thoughts on happiness and achieving it https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JDQRYbINeNM . I hope it enlightens you.

…And whatever you do, have a wonderful time doing it!

Xo

They Don’t Support Me

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First off, thank you. Thank you to everyone who has ever read, commented, shared, messaged me about my posts, I don’t think I have ever really shown gratitude but I am truly grateful!

I just came across a post of someone laminating about having fake friends, the lack of support and how much they do for others but it’s not reciprocated blah blah blah. Sorry, that’s life. We’re all guilty.

My flesh and blood till date still don’t get the name of blog/company right never mind having read any of my 100+ posts and likewise I am sure there are bunch of things I don’t show my family enough gratitude for.

We don’t always get an equal return on our investment. Could you ever come close to repaying back your mother? I think not.

It’s not your business to pay attention to those that are not interested, your duty is to pay attention to those that ARE vested in you.

For whatever reason we have been wired to focus on all the negatives. We shouldn’t, especially when we are inundated with so many positives.

So what one person didn’t show up to your birthday? There were 10 others that did. Only 5 people liked your blog post, that’s 5 more people than 0. You missed your bus to get to work, at least you have a job to go to, someone else is searching for one as we speak and has bills coming out of their crack and no immediate means to take care of them. You missed an audition, okay are there not others? No matter the circumstance, there are positives, you just have to look for them and FOCUS on that instead.

Would you believe I had a car accident over the weekend worse than the one I had a few weeks ago. Yes you read right a few weeks ago. Talk about a tough break. Was I out of sorts for a couple of days? Sure I was. But guess what? I am alive as is the other driver. It could have been so different, my last blog post could have been the last one forever.

Whatever you focus on EXPANDS. You zone in on the negatives, surprise surprise more negative things come your way. Do the opposite and the same will follow suit.

Take your mind off the things that didn’t work, the people that do not support you, the plans that failed to launch, and look for the positives in all situations.

Love on those that love on you. Show gratitude to those that are there for you and do support you . Appreciate the things you do have and you’ll see that there will be more of these things.

Shift your focus, life is much better that way.

Xo

Say No to Yes People

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I was rereading my last post and thinking about the kind of people I have around me.  Although I love them dearly, I noticed that there are some that will feed into my plight rather than snap me out of it and that is dangerous.

For example, you’ve had a bad day and you call your friend to moan. What then followed were exchanges of experiences and a reinforcement of how ‘right’ you are to feel crap. When you get off the call, do you feel better? Typically no and if you do, it’s likely to be temporary.

Sure, there are times that you just need to vent and get things off your chest but whoever you go to must be someone of sound reasoning and mind.

Say no to people who unfailingly reaffirm your shitty feelings, to people who are not able to gently correct you, to people who mollycoddle you into believing you’re always right, to people who agree with everything you say, to people who do not have a healthy positive outlook on life. Those people have a greater influence on your life than you know and faith comes by hearing, so the more you hear the wrong type of things, the more you believe in it, make sense?

To put it simply, in times of stress and frustration, do not go to the constantly stressed and frustrated.

Xo

P.s Have a great week ahead!

Protect Your Dreams

28 Friday Jul 2017

Posted by in Dreams, Experiences, More Action, Thoughts in motion

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Listen up: Be mindful of whom you share your dreams and goals with.

I get it.

When we have some exciting news about our lives we want to share it with the people close to us or even not so close to us.

My advice? Don’t. I cannot recall how many times I have spoken about something repeatedly that later on did not materialise. Granted, there are a host of reasons why that may be, but in my experience its best to keep goals and aspirations close to your chest.

Besides that, in telling the wrong people you may face ridicule, be made to feel crazy and encounter negativity concerning the vision that is quite specific to you. Your vision is not for everyone to get, it’s for you alone so don’t be disheartened when people don’t “get it”, they’re not supposed to.

You might even find yourself feeling the urge to explain and justify your dreams to them- Don’t you dare.  Leave it alone. If they cannot support you in the right way which includes being constructive (not destructive), then leave it well alone and continue to nurture your goals in silence.

If you are to share it, be sure to do so with the right kind of people. Those that are accomplished, those that will push you and hold you accountable, those that will lift you up when you feel down, those that can steer you in the right direction, those that can be a part of the solution and not the problem…you get my point.

Now does this apply to every single thing in your life? No, but use sense and wisdom…

and protect your shit.

Xo

P.s This is not to be confused with ‘Speaking things into existence’. Ill be back to talk on this soon.

Don’t Sleep on Yourself

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I was looking through Instagram as you do and I came across the fabulous shoe designer Monika Chaing. After browsing through a few of her pictures, I was transported back to 2010 when I had aspirations of creating a shoe line that would represent all the different sides of me-I love shoes!

That same year I was at a club with Jon B (yes the Jon B) and he commented on how he loved my shoes and that his wife would love them too.  A tiny piece of me died inside, talk about missed opportunity. The shoes I was wearing at the time were not my own design, there were a pair of Kurt Geiger shoes, but just imagine if they were? Ugh.

Thing is I had been working on the shoe line but was yet to have a product in my hand. I thought to myself if only I had a little bit more time I could have passed on my details and the rest would have been history.

Needless to say that over time I became weary and stopped trying.

Looking through Monika Chaing’s feed reminded me of that and all the other ideas (there have been many) that I had started, made progress on and then shortly gave up on. Where would they have been now if I persisted? What could I have created within the last 10 years if I had stuck through all the obstacles that I would have faced? I don’t even want to think about it, but I do know there’s a high chance I wouldn’t be sitting behind my work desk typing this.

What I hadn’t realised at the time was that dreams do not manifest overnight. They are like babies, they have to be nurtured and attended to constantly. Did you hear me? Constantly!

Now I’m not about to be all self-deprecating after all I have blogged for 3 years and that for me is an accomplishment!

Do something now that your future self will thank you for. It could be in any area of your life, great or small. Start and persist with it and remember Rome was not built in a day.

You owe it to yourself to live out your dreams to the fullest.

Xo

When Things Go Wrong

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I think there is something about speaking of things you are going to do and it ultimately going tits-up right after.

It feels like every time I speak of something I am going to do publicly, it doesn’t happen. Is there some sort of wicked force that actively works against me in that moment? If there is they need to cut that shit out.

For example, I said I would do a daily diary and that didn’t materialise in the way that I wanted (Sorry 😦 ), yet I had every intention on doing so and even made the efforts towards making this a reality but it just didn’t happen.

On the flip side, there have been many occasions where what I speak of comes to pass. It’s usually in cases where I haven’t put much thought into things or did not direct ALL my energy towards it and BOOM! Manifestation. My point? Think it, work on it, let go of the outcome.

There is also another lesson here for me to learn in how I approach things going forward, don’t speak about what you’re going to do, ever, just do it. With all things, just do it.  

So as the momentum for the 7 day diary has passed, we’re going to scrap that altogether and go with the flow. I am a firm believer in letting things be and not forcing the unnatural to happen because it just won’t. All it will cause is further frustration and the thing you want to get hot wheels and keep running from you.

When things go wrong, and you make a few attempts to fix the issue and it doesn’t work, do yourself a favour; let the chips fall where they may. Some things simply have to fall apart before they can come together again. It needs that space for whatever it is to breathe, evolve and settle, then and only then can true change take effect.

Take a deep breath and momentarily, let it be.

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Xo

P.s Maybe I’ll revisit this 7 day diary…or not lol.

 

Day 4: FML

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I believe I said that I would go to the gym on Wednesday? Yeah, that didn’t happen. I ended up going for dessert with my neighbour. And yes the dessert was amazing! Waffles with Nutella spread all over and crushed Oreos, mmm yum, but erm no good for my body goals. 

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29 June 2017

Today was an utter disaster! 

I had been planning and prepping for a work event for weeks. No stone was left unturned. I was pedantic, no, manic with every detail, but where did it all go wrong? Technology. Good ol’ technology! It did me so dirty today, I was livid. Every expletive you know of, was used. From the beginning of the event till the end, I spent it trying to connect Skype calls, carry out presentations, communicate with multiple people and take notes- epic fail. One thing I do not like is to look or be incompetent. I don’t even like the idea of it.  

Sure, everyone was really understanding and I was even applauded at the end for all my efforts but that’s not the point! Where’s bloody Olivia Pope when you need her? The universe clearly had other plans. Murphy’s f**king law. 

My mood was so bad that I almost cancelled my plans to meet a group of friends, which had been organised a month ago.  

I raved and ranted to a gentleman friend, who ever so kindly came down to meet me at London Bridge for a quick drink before I had to meet my other friends. So sweet. 

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Needless to say my evening did get better thanks to him and a few others. For that, I am grateful. 

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I even got a gift from a good friend of mine from his trip to New Orleans, which is one of the places on my hit list to visit.

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That’s all folks till hopefully, tomorrow :s

Xo

P.s That wasn’t a lot of writing but trust me, what I had written before was total crap, nothing made sense!

Day 3: Flights and Feelings

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You know I said I was going to the gym last night right? Well, I didn’t quite make it.

I took the selfie below and immediately after, I was struck with a very painful belly ache. It felt like someone was wringing out my stomach, hurt like a mother! I decided to forgo the gym for that night. Who knows what the belly ache was protecting me from?…

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Work today has been hectic, I’m lying, most days at work are hectic! Still, it’s not been a bad day except for me leaving work late again, which means I’ll probably be late again for my counselling session this evening.

Yup, you read right, coun-sel-ling- ses-sion. Times have changed, its not for ‘specific’ people anymore, its for everyone.

Say it with me “It’s for everyone!”.

With the right counsellor you can really make progress in certain areas in your life. What they are able to do is to get you to think, extract and create solutions whilst redirecting you to focal points in your life that need addressing. You might even consider me a counsellor of sorts (without the qualifications) in that I often provide a different perspective on things. They needn’t be seen as some taboo nor should you see yourself as broken if you have one.

In the year that I have been going, it’s helped immensely to have an unbiased ear to listen to my woes and gripes with life. If you have ever pondered on it, I say go for it! Anyway, I don’t want to dwell on this for too long, maybe I’ll share my experience at a later point.

*coughs * can I highlight that I am sharing things here that my nearest and dearest don’t know, sooo let’s keep this a secret okay? (she says whilst posting it on the world wide web, instant fail).

I’m getting off the bus and rushing there now. I’ll be back after my ‘appointment’- I prefer the word appointment, session in this context makes me feel weird. Don’t judge me I haven’t entirely made peace with all parts of counselling, bite me!

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Today’s appointment was interesting.  My counsellor threatened me. Okay she didn’t (Ms Drama Queen Irene), she gave me an assignment that was non-negotiable, but is that not a threat?! Lol.  She has a point though, with previous assignments I generally don’t remember to do them, my mind is too busy. She informed me that if I don’t do it she has a surprise for me, pffft nice choice of words. I didn’t like the sound of that ‘surprise’ so after this I’m going to get started…tomorrow, no, Friday.

They came to check the damages to my car today for repair womp womp womp! It’s great that it’ll get fixed but the cost? 2 years no claims bonus lost, pay the excess and you just KNOW my insurance premium next year is going to be horrible! If you have any ideas how to avoid this, please, please, please let me know. However, I do intend on getting my bike license soon, maybe this would be the right time to abandon driving and get riding.

Before I go, I have to share that my baby brother went on his first holiday today and it tugged on little heart * cries *. Sure, he’s 19 but he will ALWAYS be my baby brother, forever! There’s an 11 year age gap between us so he feels more like my child as does my sister.

He doesn’t need me anymore, this indeed is a sad time 😦 .

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Thats all, see ya and yes I will be going to the gym today.

Xo

P.s I’ll talk about the hashtag #NakedinSummer in my selfie tomorrow. It makes sense, trust me.

Day 2: Dance Fever & Gym Boyfriends.

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I’m back!

After yesterday’s post, I rushed off to a dance studio.

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I decided last week that I was going to get back to one of my first loves, dancing. I’d been meaning to do so for a while, but I couldn’t find classes that fit what I wanted to do, so I said  ‘F it, I’ll teach myself’.

To date, there’s very little that provides me with the feeling of freedom as dance and performing does…Nothing else matters, you just lose or should I say find yourself.

I literally paid for a dance studio for an hour on Friday afternoon. I did my research, found a venue and booked it.

I was excited and a tad nervous even though I was going to be in the room by myself. Ever the investigator, upon getting into the room, I squinted my eyes looking for a camera. I knew that if there was a CCTV camera I’d still be conscious and not completely myself. I didn’t find one,“Yay!”.

Let me tell you, I felt (looked) like a complete fool! LOL. I mean, I can dance in a club but when you’re looking at yourself in a mirror, you really get to see how good or bad you are. My verdict: stiff as a board, but I’m totally okay with that because it means I have lots to improve on. Hold up, I don’t have two left feet, in fact on any given day I’m pretty good, but pretty good is not what I’m after, bloody brilliant is the goal! All in all I left there feeling really rejuvenated and happy with my decision to brave it alone.

Sometimes, its good to do something just for you.

27 June 2017

It’s a very scary thing to witness someone who gave you life be so vulnerable. They’ve cared for you, loved you, disciplined you, practically done everything for you and in a blink of an eye that could all change. My mother is made of solid iron so it was definitely worrying to see her need help.

My mother is however feeling much better today. She still has to rest, but there aren’t any signs of imminent danger. Thank you God!

I’m heading to the gym shortly as I have some major body goals. I want to feel and look the best I have ever done.

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Meagan Good, Teyana Taylor and Sophia Miacova are my current motivators.

You hear it all the time from mothers about how they didn’t appreciate their bodies and if only they knew what they had then and so on. I definitely don’t want to be singing that song.

I want to be happy with that new phase in my life when it comes, knowing that I truly enjoyed myself and my body. Also, you have to be what you want to attract, so buff body it is. That’s not to say my life will stop when children arrive, it won’t, it will just be massively different.

Pre 2017 I hated the gym but needs must. Working out at home wasn’t working and as with a lot of things you have to be in the environment that cultivates the things you want, joining the gym made sense.

I actually like it more now, it makes me feel good especially on a crappy day. Oh and having ‘gym boyfriends’ helps too. Well, they’re not really my boyfriends, merely people who have some sort of ‘interest’, they want to teach me stuff *roll my eyes* everyone is an expert in the gym ha! Like last night, a guy who I’m sure is old enough to be my dad (slight-moderate exaggeration) was asking me to train with him and if we could exchange details. I politely declined. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate the affections, it’s nice, but sometimes a girl would like to train in peace even if it means looking like an utter idiot because you really don’t know what the hell you’re doing! I am considering getting a personal trainer though because this lower belly fat has gattogo!

The weather today is PANTS! Talk about grim. Raining cats and dogs “booooo!”, although it’s usually the best time to sleep. I don’t like public transport on a normal day so when it’s raining, erm ew.

I’m babbling now, thats enough from me. I’ll talk about my car drama and anything good (speak it) that happens between now and tomorrow, till then Godspeed!

…And yes today started off much better than yesterday-I win!

Xo

P.s Pictures provided by the muses Instagrams  @meagangood @teyanataylor @sophiamiacova, I don’t own shit.