Nothing is more important than what you choose to do with the breadth of your life.
To not forgive is to rob yourself of a life you deserve.
…but alas it is you that has been sentenced to a life in prison.
Unforgiveness* is a treacherous con artist because it deceives you into thinking you’re punishing the offender, but alas it is you that has been sentenced to a life in prison.
No one or thing should hold such power over you, no matter how dastardly the situation. And yes, there are many horrific experiences strong enough to desire exacting revenge or retribution, but at what cost? In reality, the lengths we may go to to punish a person, is seldom equal to the offence or pain caused, nor is it truly gratifying.
Forgive them and forgive yourself. Do it for you, and your prosperity. And in doing so, you will experience more freedom, a lightness, and have greater room to embrace the sweetness of life in its fullness. This is the true win.
33 held so much for me. I felt like I couldn’t fully exhale for a few reasons.Give or take the inaccuracies of reported history, Jesus was 33 when he ascended. My late friend was also 33 when he ascended. And a small part of me had come to anticipate that this too could be my …
The constant chatter is overwhelming. One person says this, another person says that. Your mum says it’s this way, your brother says it’s the other. Then there’s the people who love to be contrarian with no actual thoughts of their own, just adept at piggybacking off what a group of people might agree upon and finding a …
One day you’re fine, life is good and the air is filled with prospects that you could almost pluck them like the squiggly lines you see when you look at a blue sky. The following day however, you’re freezing your bits off, your umbrella is inside out and the contents of your bag have just …
Improbable–not likely to be true or to happen.I saw a TikTok of a guy doing the improbable. Getting two basketballs into a hoop using a crutch, throwing a CD into a moving Wii console, releasing ping pong balls with the aim of reaching various points and so on. It was fascinating to watch. In a different …
And if you’re seeing this post, it’s an indication that at least for today, I won.
Whew! Returning to the blog after an unplanned period away, is like that first day at the gym after falling off for months. It takes a whole lot to get there. On this occasion, the distance was due to Covid. Yup. That MF. And for a moment it was a bit touch and go. I won’t delve into the details unless requested, as there are plenty of resources out there. All I’ll say is, take very good care of yourself and pay acute attention to your body.
The remnants of it have only just exited the building and time will tell what other outcomes there may be. Aside from it doing a huge number on my body, it’s resulted in an uphill battle of getting back into the swing of things. And if you’re seeing this post, it’s an indication that at least for today, I won.
I have much to get out and hope for as long as you can, that you’ll continue to join me on this ride.
Sometimes, it is necessary to look back. I randomly came across email exchanges from 14 years ago. What I saw shocked, embarrassed and made me laugh until tears fell. My verbal communication was abysmal. How did anyone ever engage in written conversation with me? and furthermore why? Were they nuts?! I didn’t go looking for …
Treat it like an exam. This came to me at 7:46am this morning. I was pondering on the how’s of a particular thing. I quickly snapped out of it like a Raven Baxter premonition because the ‘how’ is none of my business. The ‘do’ is where it’s at. And by do, that means doing it …
The New Year is fast approaching, and it’s the time many people begin to reflect and go over the year. It’s at this point that people panic and have great anxiety over what they did or didn’t do and resolve to do better…in the new year.Why wait, when you can get a headstart now. One …
Joy is usually reserved for the ‘big’ moments. Moments like a new car, house, engagement, pregnancy, job and the like. It’s also solely thought of as something that is given to you, rather than something you can cultivate for yourself. This is where Little Pockets of Joy comes in. I believe in en•joy•ment of the …
Fortuitously, I picked up this book recently to re-read it for the umpteenth time and the words below reflect my sentiments in this post.
Much of our education of the world comes from other sources. We seldom form and realise our own ideas about it till much later on in life, if ever at all. And yes, whilst it may still contain notions previously thought of by those before us, we can however, develop those concepts further and make them our own.
When anything happens we assign a feeling, often predetermined by other peoples thoughts and experiences, and that then, informs and shapes ours. For example, you interviewed for a job and were not chosen for the role. The automated modus operandi for many is that of failure, low self-esteem, incompetence, depression and the list goes on.
But why does not getting what you applied for, have to mean all those things? What if—what if whatever happens to you, you refrain from immediately reacting to it, and simply question, observe and ponder on it before determining your truest feelings? You just might uncover what belongs to do you and what doesn’t.
Promise– the quality of potential excellence.Possibilities– a thing that may happen or be the case. That we get to be here and experience a new week full of promise and possibilities is magical. I love that for us. Who knows what wonderful, delightful thing may happen to and for us. The promise within that, makes me …
Successful 1. accomplishing a desired aim or result. 2. having achieved fame, wealth, or social status. The media will have you believe that houses, cars, money, having a partner, and followers are the epitome of success. We inherently know this isn’t true, yet we still uphold them as markers of significant value. We yearn to have …
When I thought of today’s word, I’d already accepted that I had very little of it. Routines and monotony are not my strong suits. And then I looked up the definition and I was surprised. It’s shifted my perspective and has given me food for thought. We use discipline to strictly imply no stick-to-it-ness, but it’s official meaning …
We are full of excuses. Excuses that hinder, inhibit, and can foster stagnation. And yes, sometimes they are valid and substantiated, however, they are only as powerful as we say they are.
I often remember what a coach said to me once, after I poured out my heart and laid out my issues regarding overcoming a fear I had. I was keen to hear the solution to this matter and to be set free.
My expectation was for her to give me a well-thought-out, empathetic, reasonable response, but instead she said ‘Just do it’. That was it. No drawn out speech, no ‘I understand your plight’, no digging deeper to gain further insight. I was flabbergasted. Did she read ALL that I wrote?! Is she mad?! and I mentally came up with all the reasons why it wasn’t a matter of simply just doing it. I didn’t have the words to respond with void of it being offensive, so begrudgingly I swallowed it and wrote thank you.
She was right though. As time passed, I realised the truth and emancipation in those three words. There’s no better way to get through or over something than by doing it.
I intend to hopefully do what she did for me for someone else today with words of my own, and its this; If you wanted to, you would.
Ego–A person’s sense of self-esteem or self-importance.A slippery slope or protective armour? I’d it’s both. It’s also described as the part of the mind that mediates between the conscious and the unconscious and is responsible for reality testing and a sense of personal identity. The ego is accused of many things, namely in negative outcomes, …
When the sky cries and the sun smiles, a ray of colourful light is a reminder of their alliance; to dance always. Easeful–Providing comfort or peace.Nature gives me that. It works in order, at its own pace void of who, what, where and when. Trees do not struggle to grow nor wonder how will they grow, …
1.11.21 I love the first day of the month, especially when it lands on a Monday. For each day this week I’ll be posting a word to ponder on. Today’s word is:Detach 1. disengage (something or part of something) and remove it.2. leave or separate oneself from (a group or place). For me, this means letting go of …
I made myself stupid. Hear me out. Years ago, because of an unhealthy level of expectation I placed on myself (which stemmed from comparison), I would harshly judge what I said and how I said it. I would go over every minute detail and pick myself apart mentally, with the underlying message being you’re not …
Man, the pressure. The pressure to be and do all is immense.
I have been on the go for the past couple of months, and I was afraid of a burnout. To avoid that, I gave myself an impromptu annual leave from creating last week.
The weekend rolls around, quickly might I add, and a recollection of all I have to do resurfaces. Waves of overwhelm come and go, and I think ‘Shit, already? It’s not even Monday yet!’. The urge to stay under a blanket increases.
‘One thing at a time Irene’, I hear myself say. Seconds later, I deflate like a popped balloon, releasing all the pressure, expectations and dread I was filled with. Yes, you’re right, one thing at a time.
The way many of us live, even with mindfulness, is unnatural. In fact, some of us use mindfulness to fuel us in making the 101 things we think we should be doing, feel ‘sustainable’. But we’re not robots, even though much of society expects us to be.
Look at what 2019 till date has shown us. The planet (conspiracy theories and all), told us to sit in the corner and do not move. And yet so many of us are eager to get back to living lives that we despised and our bodies hated.
Speed: Slo-mo x 2.0. That’s the setting we need to be on more, at least whilst we figure out what we respectively want for ourselves.
For me, I recognise harmony is important, and part of that means not being resistant to the flow of my life and allowing it to guide what I do. Resistance equals dis-ease, discomfort, and frustration.
In the past, whenever I realised that I was using all of my might to make something to happen, I would stop and do nothing. And every single time I did that, my needs were still met, things worked as it should, and life continued. I’m always a little amazed at what occurs for and around me without my forceful input. Granted, it’s not easy to release control, but in such moments, that is what is best.
The earth, without our input, works beautifully and in order. There is no force or great struggle. It’s us humans, who are always in a hurry and want so much more. We proceed to do, so that we can have, and ultimately move at a pace that are bodies on every plain, cannot handle.
As the week continues, reflect on what you are doing. Do you really have to do it? Will everything crumble if you don’t do it?
Give yourself a break, and just deflate. And then slowly, very slowly, do the thing you authentically connect with.
I deeply connect with philosophy and writing, and therefore I do it, sometimes kicking and screaming, because the semantics bog me down. It’s where I’m meant to be, at least for now.
Don’t be afraid to let a few things go. Trust me, it will be fine without you. You on the other hand, might not be, if you continue to commit to a lifestyle that simply is not fit for your purpose.
This episode is about my experience of being a Black Brit who moved from London to Paris in a pandemic. I discuss having covid, language barriers and general challenges of integrating into a new society.
Nothing is more important than what you choose to do with the breadth of your life. To not forgive is to rob yourself of a life you deserve. …but alas it is you that has been sentenced to a life in prison. Unforgiveness* is a treacherous con artist because it deceives you into thinking you’re …
A video of Kim K came across my sight over the weekend. It was her on SNL. I watched it and it dawned on me that I have no idea what she and her family were up to these days. It’s fascinating what can change once you set your eyes on something entirely different. I regularly …
I visited the Musée Yves Saint Laurent on Sunday and was re-energised by what I saw. For the designer, it was more than just clothes that looked good, it was art, curated by passion, breaking moulds and forging new ways to be seen and felt. As I perused his wears, studied the fabrics, observed the …
It’s been a whole year since the very first lockdown was in place. Disbelief is still something I contend with.
In an instant everything changed, and we all had to adjust to circumstances we’ve never experienced. Still adjusting. Things happened that are irrevocable, and we’ll always have the memories of this unprecedented time.
A different perspective that I wanted to share and for you to consider is, ‘I did it, I made it, I’m getting through it’. What you thought would break you to point of being irreparable, didn’t, because you’re resilient and powerful. You’re made of stuff to withstand all the things life throws, and you must acknowledge that, and show lots of love, compassion and kindness to yourself. And that’s not all you did. You consistently created something out of nothing. You pivoted like a ballerina and landed perfectly en pointe. You took things into your own hands, and decided everyday to keep pressing forward even when you didn’t know how. You mourned great losses, and although it felt like the pain of it all would kill you, it fuelled you and you used to make life a little better. You still don’t know what tomorrow holds, and yet you’re committed to living life intentionally. It’s not easy, and there are many days that you’d like to hibernate and wish your life away, but like a butterfly, you emerge from your cocoon, and try again and again and again. You did that. Bravo!
Change is inevitable, and we will experience multiple transitions in our lifetime, and when another one does come, I hope you recall how graceful you were in the times before, and know that you can take this on too. Xo
The feeling of a crisp Monday morning cannot be replicated by any other day of the week. It’s full of both promise and dread in equal amounts. What will it bring? What will I have to tackle? What joy will I experience? What task might feel too great? And whilst you marinate on it, you’ll …
And if you’re seeing this post, it’s an indication that at least for today, I won. Whew! Returning to the blog after an unplanned period away, is like that first day at the gym after falling off for months. It takes a whole lot to get there. On this occasion, the distance was due to Covid. …
Fortuitously, I picked up this book recently to re-read it for the umpteenth time and the words below reflect my sentiments in this post. Much of our education of the world comes from other sources. We seldom form and realise our own ideas about it till much later on in life, if ever at all. …
Face your front is a commonly known Nigerian expression, meaning to look ahead, pay attention to your affairs and stop watching others. The irony is the exact opposite expression also exists, and its ‘Look at your mates’, but we will unpack that another time. How much further along might you be if you pull backed some …
Take care of it now, before it takes care of you. And I don’t mean in the good sense.
You ever have something that you put off that you know you need to do. You keep saying tomorrow, Monday, next week, in March, and before you know it, all those dates have come and gone and you haven’t done it yet. You set new dates and times, and still do not take care of it. This cycle is repeated, until one day, all hell breaks loose, and you absolutely have no other choice but to deal with it.
This was me in 2017. It was time to let go of my car, but I did not want to. On the things that I have accomplished that I still relish till today, the ability to drive is in my top 3. I love the freedom it gives me. I go on a date and he’s acting weird? I hop in my car and zoom off (I have done this way too many times lol) I want to hit up 4 locations in one night? I hop in my car and zoom off. I want to drive to Wales for 24 hours? I hop in my car and zoom off. Need to do a massive food shop at various places? I hop in my car and zoom off. I do not have to wait on anyone or ask for permission, and I love it!
Me, sitting the car I am getting next 🙂
Can you see how letting go of my car was a challenge. There is a saying, those who can’t hear must feel, and boy did I feel it. Between June and September of that year, there were 3 car accidents. Did you hear me? I said THREE?! Who with years of experience finds themselves in that position? W-H-O?! These incidents were unnatural. I am thankful that I and no one else was hurt, but I. was. pissed!
The message was loud and clear, it was time for it to go. At that point, I didn’t even care, get thee far away from me! I learnt a huge lesson in doing things in a timely fashion. It could have cost me so much more…
It might not even make sense what you have to do, but do it! If there is something you have been putting on the back burner, now is the time to deal with it. Take out the paperwork, read it, call up the bank, pay for life insurance, speak to that estranged person, register your business, start your YouTube channel, whatever it is, take care of it whilst you still have a choice.
It didn’t work. Didn’t it? Or did you give up after the first attempt? We’ve become accustomed to expecting microwave results. We no longer believe in the art of cultivating, nurturing or giving of ourselves to a thing. We want it, and we want it now. I often go back to what I was like as a child. …
We are full of excuses. Excuses that hinder, inhibit, and can foster stagnation. And yes, sometimes they are valid and substantiated, however, they are only as powerful as we say they are. I often remember what a coach said to me once, after I poured out my heart and laid out my issues regarding overcoming …
London to Paris–that’s the move I made during a pandemic. I talk about the good, bad and uncomfortable things about starting a new life somewhere different.
Do you know what’s beautiful about this time? None of us have been here before. And I suppose with nothingness in front of us, there is an opportunity here, to create from scratch.
We can imagine and design something new for ourselves; as brilliant and advanced ways of being, have come from tectonic plate shifting moments in history, such as this.
Conspire with life. Form an alliance that you will do your best, and it will do the same to support you and your endeavours. The dawn of a new era is upon us, and the ground is fertile.
I love knowing everything. I like to know what I’m doing, where I’m doing it, who I’m doing it with (don’t be nasty), and how I’m doing it. I like my t’s crossed and i’s dotted, but that’s not life. Life is full of beautiful, unpredictable, and transformative unknowns and you only get to find …
One day you will be old. At least I hope to be. As I prepared for bed last night, I took one more glance in the mirror to observe myself, and I had an epiphany; one day I’ll be old and this skin that I’m waiting on to get better, will have lived life and …
What I thought 2019 would be vs what it is was. I felt like I was dragged through the mud, but there is light at the end of the tunnel, even if you have to fight tooth and nail for it! I share some of the difficulties of life and adulting.
01.01.2021. There is something satisfying about this date. It denotes promise and a strength to start afresh. Nothing need ever be the same if you do not want it to be, as whatever has happened, has happened. It’s in the past. So with today, tomorrow and every other day, you have the opportunity to live your life, just as you like it. Carpe Diem! Xo
When I take an unexpected break (which I am now calling a mid-season break), I usually return with an explanation in hand.I’m not doing that today (maybe later), and I hope by the end of this read, you too will choose yourself and your best interests. Society demands that you work incessantly. It’s crammed down …
There is so much of the world to see and experience, and what better way to do that than with friends and family, unless…you fight, fall out and break up! I speak on some of my trips, what happened and whether we bounced back, or not.
We all have events that have changed the course of our lives and who we are today. I share my experience on being uprooted from everything I knew, to start a life at a private boarding school in what was then a foreign country to me.
Man, the pressure. The pressure to be and do all is immense. I have been on the go for the past couple of months, and I was afraid of a burnout.To avoid that, I gave myself an impromptu annual leave from creating last week. The weekend rolls around, quickly might I add, and a recollection of …
Are the goals and dreams you have yours? As in, do they belong to you? Were they carefully crafted in your mind, and intricately thought about by you, for you?
Are you sure?
Are YOU sure?
Just checking.
I saw someone get featured in a magazine and the next thought I had was ‘Oh I’d like to be a magazine’. I said it instinctively. It was quickly followed by ‘Erm no you don’t. Why do you want to be in a magazine? How would it change your life? What would it do for you?’. This internal conversation took place in a matter of seconds, and swiftly I threw that fickle desire in the bin before it grew legs. Sure, it’ll be a nice to have, maybe, but when I checked in with my goals, being in a magazine wasn’t on the list, and I’m not about to shift my focus onto something different and someone else’s achievement on a whim, simply because it looked good.
Too often we collect other people’s achievements and aspirations, and make them our own and don’t even realise it. And as we carry out the work associated with accomplishing that goal, we wonder why it’s so incredibly hard to attain, and why it’s not ‘working’ as it should. It could be because you had no business doing it in the first place.
I want my own business- do you really?
I want a huge wedding- do you really?
I want to be a billionaire- do you really?
I want this body type- do you really?
I want to be famous- do you really?
How much of what you do is done because it’s socially acceptable?
One of the beautiful things that has occurred this year is the realisation to many people of what is most important to them. People are waking up. I have seen people move across the globe, get married on their doorstep, downsize the homes they’ve lived in for years, change careers, and just take chances they wouldn’t normally because they have come back home to themselves and are consciously doing what is right for them.
But like I said, I was just checking. I trust that whatever you’re doing and working on, is for you, by you.
We all have a part to play in the health, quality and longevity of our friendships. In today’s episode I speak on a friendship that was severed for 5 years, how we came back together, and what it ultimately taught me.
It’s been a whole year since the very first lockdown was in place. Disbelief is still something I contend with. In an instant everything changed, and we all had to adjust to circumstances we’ve never experienced. Still adjusting. Things happened that are irrevocable, and we’ll always have the memories of this unprecedented time. A different …
If there is nothing else you take away from me, let ‘stay focused’ be the thing you remember. I have been a conscious creative for 10 years. An entire decade. And in those years, I have done A LOT. I didn’t realise how much, until I stumbled across an old USB stick that contained some of …
We all have an internal GPS that guides us. Taking heed however, is a different matter altogether. This story is about a situ-lationship, that went on for entirely too long because I ignored myself and listened to others.