Category Archives: Motivation

Trust the Process

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My three biggest takeaways so far for 2019 are patience, trust and humility. I have had to exercise these qualities in various amounts, sometimes all at the same time. It is testing, but growing.
Growing. I wonder if people understood what it meant, whether they’d still want to grow? We say it all the time, “I want to continuously grow and develop”, the reality of that is a lot different to those few words. It can be painful, especially if you resist the change.
If you are in that transition period, here are some things that can make the growing pains easier on you:
DON’T: 
  1. Resist the change. Forcing it to go your way is only going to cause you more strife. Relax.
  2. Do not constantly repeat your problems to anyone within earshot. You only exacerbate the situation and deepen the attachment, which tends to be negative.

DO:

  1. Do be proactive. Learn something new, invest in yourself. Standing still will only cause you ponder over what’s happening and if you’re an over thinker you’ll simply make it worse.
  2. Let go of the shoulda, woulda, coulda’s, it’s regressive.
  3. Go with the flow.
  4. Keep going, however you know how. It will improve.
  5. Exercise patience. Wanting it to be over and doing everything in your might to make it so, will not make it so. Can you plant a seed today and it bear fruit tomorrow?It has to take its natural course, whatever ‘it’ is.
  6. For the love of God, learn the lesson (lol). This one was for me, but still, I thought it might be useful for you too.

Xo

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I Chose This Life

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Winter FabA few years ago I was knocking on doors, trying to find the person who owned the car that had scratched mine. One person opened their door and instead of paying attention to what he was saying, I was peering into his home as I couldn’t help but notice how different it was.

It didn’t look like mine, even though we lived a street away. It was not designed in the way these homes were originally made. It had been gutted out and designed specifically to the owners wants.

It surprised me and I thought to myself ‘So we don’t all live the same?’. Now I know that might sound obvious, but think about it. If you lived in well known expensive town, you might think that the inhabitants are generally well to do.

It was significant to me because we often think that because an experience is shared by a group of people that everyone must be having the same experiences, and it is not so.

You wake up and hate going to work, someone else loves it.

You dislike the treatment you receive in this relationship by this wo/man, someone else is deeply in love and enjoying their partner.

You barely make enough to get by, someone else is making more in a month than you make in a year.

Your friendship group is lack lustre, someone else has a great group of friends and loves their life.

The difference in the above is about creating, creating by choice. We all live through and by the choices we make every single day.

You can live how you want to if only you will consistently make choices that align with the thing that you want.

Do not underestimate the power of your choices as they determine what you experience daily. Just take a look around you and examine what is taking place, what choices did you make? Don’t like it? Choose differently.

Xo

Can You Focus On…Me?

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img_8202It’s the 17th January (already?!) and dare I ask, how is it going?

For some of the people I know it’s been, a bit, bluregh. And a bit bluregh is never a good way to feel. Maybe it’s the January blues or in London the gloomy weather? Whatever it is, as with most things, it’ll soon pass.

On my side it’s been quite slow, which I welcome because I know it’s not going to be like this for much longer.

As tradition dictates, with a new year comes new or refreshed goals. I have some that this time around I’m choosing to keep to myself however, I do have one that above all of them is absolutely necessary in order to meet my goals and that is to focus.

I used to hear as a child that ‘Irene is great and has potential but she lacks focus’, and now as an adult I understand more what they meant by that. I struggle to give a thing my undivided attention, so I’m gifting myself myself and working on improving my focus, little by little.

What are you working on?

My advice for any goals or desires you have is to take each day as it comes. Let things happen organically. I spent a considerable amount of time in the past forcing things to happen and the outcome always left me wanting.

To summarise, work with what works.

Xo

P.s Things will start look up, I promise 🙂

Rejected…again?

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facetune_14-11-2018-09-44-44I don’t know whether there are people who are unaffected by rejection and if they exist someone point them my way, I need some tips.

I think most would agree that being rejected once, sucks, but multiple times? Its the worst. And yet it’s inevitable, we cannot escape it no matter who we are or where we are from, we have to deal.

So how do we deal? When things aren’t going how we would like, there’s a tendency to lump all bad experiences together and make it one big ball of pain. This undoubtedly makes it more difficult to move past the experience(s).

“I applied for this role and didn’t get it”

“I missed out on getting onto this course because I was shy of 2 points”

“She left me for someone else”

“My colleague was given the promotion over me, although I am more qualified”

Imagine putting all of those together and wondering why you feel so crap afterwards. Don’t do it.

I have taken a number of L’s this year, do I stop? Do I give up? Do I no longer make the effort? No no and no! (And yes I’m definitely guilty of the above, I’m champion woe is me).

Some rejections I was unfazed by, others made me question myself over and over again. It happens to the best of us.

For example, I applied for 6 positions at my current organisation, did you hear me? I said SIX. After the first 2 rejections, I felt like shit. Most of the roles I applied for, I was more than capable of doing based on my skills and experience, but it wasn’t happening and I did not understand why. The feedback I received was positive but I just missed it. To make matters worse:

  • Most of the people I work with have been pushing for me to get something permanent and so I constantly have colleagues coming up to me, giving me information on jobs, agencies and the like…all the time.
  • It’s embarrassing. And whilst I appreciate/d the support it made me feel useless. Like why can’t I get together?! Frustrating to say the least!
  • This was a 6 month contract. I have been here 18 months which I’m thankful for, however MANY people have left and been able to find better roles. I MUST be the problem.

After the 3rd interview and it was a no (the other 3 I never heard back from), I thought right, what’s really happening here? After some reflection I realised apart from improving my interview techniques, my future is not attached to this company at all. I’d be settling here. I enjoy working with the people, however the roles have been something ‘to do’ and that’s definitely not what I want for my life and the universe has heard me.

From these experiences I have learnt that it is best to treat each situation separate from the other. One negative experience, failure or rejection need not be compounded to conclude that you are indeed a “bum”. Instead, focus on the lessons to be learnt.

Rejection does not have to be failure, it can be redirection and a chance to do it differently. You also don’t know what you’re being saved from.

It can be tough and you’ll want wallow in self-pity, but choose to dust yourself off, be a good student, and give it another go.

Xo

Am I Qualified?

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facetune_29-10-2018-17-17-37-1.jpgEver had a new goal that you were super excited about?

You’re filled with the possibilities of what achieving this goal will do for you and you cannot wait to get started.

You plan and establish the actions you need to take and then unexpectedly your insecurities surface.

What if I’m not qualified?

Who said I am qualified?

What if someone thinks I’m not up for the job?

Doubts here and before you know it, it starts to feel like a pipe dream. Within moments, you have convinced yourself that you’re definitely not up for the job and resign that goal to the ‘do not attempt’ pile.

Why are we the very first to sap the life out of something? Our own worst enemy.

Do you know what qualifies those that do vs those that do not? Their belief. That’s it. Those that achieve the most, do not allow their past, failures or circumstances to dictate what they can and cannot do. In spite of it, they move full steam ahead.

You will always be better off for doing something even when it does not work out as envisioned. The trade-off is the wealth of experience, applied knowledge and skills gained, that not doing anything could never provide you with. It is also a stepping stone.

I bumped into someone I knew online through a mutual friend. I had not met them in person until this morning. We started talking about various things and he asked me whether an online series I was a part of was well thought out or improvised. What do you think I said? We winged that bad boy!

None of us really knew what we were doing, we just showed up and figured it out as we went along. In that same year of doing the series, I wrote, directed and produced my first short play. I won 2 awards for the play and a little bulb went off in my head ‘I’m a writer’, and always had been, but it wasn’t until that point, did I acknowledge myself. That was almost six years ago.

Do you think how I write now is how I have always written? Absolutely not! In the beginning, it was trash. I cringe every time I see something from the past, but I had to start somewhere, as terrible as it was.

So trust me when I say, you can do this. Little by little, step by step, piece by piece.

Xo

Pursue Your Goals

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I went running on Tuesday

I nearly died

Bye.

Just kidding. About the bye that is, not about the dying because I honestly feel like every week I’m close to saying ‘God is that you?’ after a training session.

It’s brutal.

 

 

Here’s another confession:

I’m shit at running

No, sorry, slow at running

But not for long

I started running 5 weeks ago. I had this genius idea that said “yes do it”. Not a genius idea.

In my teens I would be in 100m races and do quite well, always maintaining between 1st and 3rd except for that one time. Let’s not talk about that one time as that one time was the last time I took running seriously. Okay let’s talk about it; I came in 5th, wtf?! Which I’m sure was actually last and that was it for me “I’m out!” literally and figuratively.

Can you tell I’m a sore loser? (and also very competitive.)

Anyway, winter season training has started, which means we train every Tuesday and Thursday. The group is a mixture of both men and women who are pretty seasoned runners/athletes and I hate them all. Okay I don’t hate them hate them, they just leave me behind *cries in self-pity*. Some of them are quite supportive including the coach, which helps, a lot.

facetune_11-10-2018-10-29-46My goal is to eventually keep up with the fastest out of the group, then beat them *laughs an evil laugh*. I have no idea how I will, but I’ll let you know how I’m faring over the next few months.

What goals are you in pursuit of?

Xo

P.s Tuesday’s training consisted of 3 x 500m, 4 x 200m, 6 x 100m, brutal I tell ya!

90 Days

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Pinch Punch its the First of the Month!

Can you believe it’s October already? How??

It must be a getting older thing, because I don’t remember time flying by like this when I was a child, but then again what did I know?

With that being said, what’s the plan for the rest of the year? Or have you given up on it? Please don’t, there is still time for you to change things around.

I get it, for some of you it has been a tough year and you just want a do over, and you can have that, but only if you want to.

It’s about choice. You get to choose how you respond to the things happening in your life, and your choices are a catalyst for what you experience next.

Having this in mind, what could you do differently to get a different result? Make it drastic, let it be so unusual for you, that it makes you feel uncomfortable and scares you a little bit.

One of the quickest ways to get better at anything is by doing more, faster. Don’t drag it out, even if it makes your stomach churn as mine is doing right now (I have a big decision to make), you’ll be better for it.

You have 90 days left till the end of year, you’ve got this!

Xo

This Is the Life We Spoke Of

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This is the life we spoke of. Don’t believe me?

How many times have you said I’m broke?

How many times have you said I hate my job?

How many times have you said My life is shit?

How many times have you said No one loves me?

How many times have you said I’ll never make it?

How many times have you said I don’t like my body?

How many times have you said I’m not good enough?

How many times have you said I don’t believe in myself?

How many times have you said I can’t do_________?

Still think you’re not living the life you spoke of?

Think of your words as your Sat Nav; the course of your life can only go where you tell it to.

Xo

 

Born With It

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A blog post could take me a day or two, maybe more before I actually post it. I’ll fuss over the details like ‘does it make sense? Am I chatting shit? Will a reader relate? For flip sake I missed a word, this doesn’t flow…’ and the conversation continues. It’s annoying. Honestly.

But that’s the price of producing work you can be proud of.

Being great at anything isn’t an overnight job. It can take years. When I look back at my work from 10 years ago, I wonder how I ever made it through university. It was terrible. I almost never proof read anything. What the hell for? ‘You said 3000 words, take it and leave me alone’. And I’m not exaggerating, it was a total mess.

It took me looking at my work to really see the quality that I was producing and make changes. Doing so made me realise I missed words a lot, and that I could read a sentence 5 times and still not notice it’s not there. Oh, and that’s another thing, I HAVE to reread my writing out loud several times, even when I don’t feel like it, because what you see matters to me. It’s the difference between a good read and a read that barely makes sense. It can be tiresome, but do you want to be just okay? Or great at what you do?

It’s so easy to look at someone doing brilliantly and think they’ve got it like that. They don’t. What they do have is a commitment to their life and work continuously to do better, to beat themselves over and over and over again.

So don’t be blind sighted by the appearance of things as all great things are always worked for.

xo

You Sow, You Reap.

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Just like yourself I need reminders all the time about the things I should be thinking about and working on and I received one this morning.

Whatever you’re living in now, is your harvest. Marinate on that for a moment.

Whilst it’s great to be living in the now as you should, we do need to consider how we are setting up for our future.

I needed this reminder today because too often we become complacent and abandon the responsibility we have in creating the circumstances we live in. No one is going to do the work for you, you have to get up and show up.

Spend some time today thinking about the state of your affairs. Realise the decisions, choices, thought processes and actions that you made to lead you to this point.

If you acknowledge that there is something you would like to create or change for your imminent or distant future, think about what that looks, take action and be consistent.

Remember you are manifesting as we speak (read- you know what I mean)…

And just so you know that I am doing the work too, I’ll share a recent experience with you.

I was reading the ES magazine last week Thursday and it had a story on Dina Asher-Smith. She is a British sprinter and her story motivated me to return to something I once loved, running. Reading the article conjured up old feelings and I decided that I would get back to it after 15 years and I would not give reasons (excuses) for not doing it.

Fortunately for me, I have a friend Cynthia who is a track athlete, sprinter and inspiration. I met her through a mutual friend of mine a little over 2 years ago. She turned up to my shambles of a 28th birthday soiree (that’s a story for another time), not long after giving birth to her second child.

The transformation from when I first met her to now is like day and night and solely down to her sheer will, discipline and commitment to her fitness and health even with a very active household to support. Not all hero’s wear capes, some of them live and work right next to you.

Anyway, I contacted Cynthia on Friday, was on the track on Tuesday and is currently suffering from the pain of having ran 5 x 200m with 1 minute recovery time between each (I took longer breaks lol). She, Emma and Eliza did 10 x 200m with a 1 minute recovery time, I personally could not…yet but I’m positive with more training and their encouragement I’ll be able to do it.

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This was just after our session on Tuesday. I’m smiling but I nearly died.

The point is when you make a decision, get the ball rolling and take action. Trust me, I didn’t want to turn up on Tuesday as I was tired AF, but I did and although I am in pain now my future body and health will thank me for it.

Xo