Posted in WDYWM Podcast
What I thought 2019 would be vs what it is was. I felt like I was dragged through the mud, but there is light at the end of the tunnel, even if you have to fight tooth and nail for it! I share some of the difficulties of life and adulting.
Posted in Experiences, Life
Nothing was the same.
Do you know what’s beautiful about this time? None of us have been here before.
And I suppose with nothingness in front of us, there is an opportunity here, to create from scratch.
We can imagine and design something new for ourselves; as brilliant and advanced ways of being, have come from tectonic plate shifting moments in history, such as this.
Conspire with life. Form an alliance that you will do your best, and it will do the same to support you and your endeavours.
The dawn of a new era is upon us, and the ground is fertile.
Are you up for the task?
Xo
The feeling of a crisp Monday morning cannot be replicated by any other day of the week. It’s full of both promise and dread in equal amounts. What will it bring? What will I have to tackle? What joy will I experience? What task might feel too great? And whilst you marinate on it, you’ll …
And if you’re seeing this post, it’s an indication that at least for today, I won. Whew! Returning to the blog after an unplanned period away, is like that first day at the gym after falling off for months. It takes a whole lot to get there. On this occasion, the distance was due to Covid. …
Fortuitously, I picked up this book recently to re-read it for the umpteenth time and the words below reflect my sentiments in this post. Much of our education of the world comes from other sources. We seldom form and realise our own ideas about it till much later on in life, if ever at all. …
Face your front is a common Nigerian expression, meaning to look ahead, pay attention to your affairs and stop watching others. The irony is the exact opposite expression also exists, and its ‘Look at your mates’, but we will unpack that another time. How much further along might you be if you pull backed some of …
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Posted in Life
Tags
2020, 2021, Celebration, Flying Cars, life, New Years Eve, Pandemic, Robots, The Simpsons, Therapy, Virus
Is there much to say except, WE MADE IT!
This wild ride of a year.
When films depicted what the future would look like, it was flying cars, superpowers and robots. Not a global virus, worldwide quarantine and lockdown. Wait, did The Simpsons predict this? They seem to be right on the money on these things. Dodgy business if you ask me.
We completed a history-making, life-altering year.
We lost a lot.
We gave a lot.
We changed a lot.
Whatever your current circumstances, well done.
You might have lost someone, a job, a home, a friend, and more, but you didn’t cower. You showed up for yourself and others, and that deserves a celebration.
I know we’re massively restricted in what we can do, but I encourage you to mark this feat in some way. A letter of gratitude, a glass of wine, getting dressed up, praying, calling family and friends, dancing, singing and so on. It can be as crazy or as mild as you want, just as long as you acknowledge what you’ve accomplished.
As we enter into 2021, I want to wish you all a Happy New Year, full of incredible highs and wonderful moments! And thank you as always for your continued readership xox
Adulting, need I say more? If you could opt out, at least for a period of time, would you take it? This episode is about the realities of adulthood.
It didn’t work. Didn’t it? Or did you give up after the first attempt? We’ve become accustomed to expecting microwave results. We no longer believe in the art of cultivating, nurturing or giving of ourselves to a thing. We want it, and we want it now. I often go back to what I was like as a child. …
We are full of excuses. Excuses that hinder, inhibit, and can foster stagnation. And yes, sometimes they are valid and substantiated, however, they are only as powerful as we say they are. I often remember what a coach said to me once, after I poured out my heart and laid out my issues regarding overcoming …
London to Paris–that’s the move I made during a pandemic. I talk about the good, bad and uncomfortable things about starting a new life somewhere different.
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Posted in Life
Tags
2020, 2021, Boris Johnson, Disappointment, Late night, Livelihood, Lockdown, London, new year, Pandemic, Pivot, Prime Minister, Quarantine, Responsibility, South East, Tier 4, Tier 5, Win
Talks of Tier 5? What are they doing? Who is in BJ’s camp advising him? And when will they all leave this office?
Feels like we’re unlocking a new level in a game, but instead of gaining points, collecting treasures and getting super powers, we’re awarded an increase in frustration, confusion and sadness.
I’m convinced Boris hates his constituents.
Everything, is too little, too late.
I understand that this is brand new for all of us, including the government. The difference however, is that they have access to experts in every field to guide them on how to best manage the pandemic and people, along with their expectations, well-being, and livelihoods.
Also, we’re all privy to seeing how other countries have dealt with efficacy. For goodness sake, take notes!
Clear messaging creates clear expectation, which avoids disappointment.
We all hate what this pandemic has done, but it’s the management of it all that’s one of most challenging things about it.
The messaging has been unclear, impractical, and simply cannot be trusted.
The ping ponging of our physical, emotional and mental well-being is what is taking a huge toll on everyone. Its our lives in the balance— double entendre intended.
I watched this video a little while back (see below) and this principle, is one way to effectively manage things in difficult and unprecedented times.
If anyone knows the PM, please direct him to this post.
Thanks, management.
That’s my little rant over. Back to us.
For us as individuals, we have a responsibility to ourselves. We cannot afford to rely on the elected to make decisions that support us.
So in this transformational period, pivot.
This has been my saving grace. When plans do not work out, I work with what’s working, I look at the alternatives, I face what’s immediately in front of me not months ahead, I control what I can control, and leave the rest.
Standing in one spot and allowing life to happen to us in every aspect is only going to pull us further and further away from our nirvana.
Shift your focus and pool your energy into a penetrable cause. Think of yourself as an athlete, say a tennis or basketball player or even a footballer. Consider how they constantly look for the opportunity to win. That’s what we can do too, win.
N.B Everyone’s winning is different.
…And I have every faith that as resilient and buoyant people, we will recover, like always.
Xo
I love knowing everything. I like to know what I’m doing, where I’m doing it, who I’m doing it with (don’t be nasty), and how I’m doing it. I like my t’s crossed and i’s dotted, but that’s not life. Life is full of beautiful, unpredictable, and transformative unknowns and you only get to find …
21 Questions about relationships, who would I swap lives with, being the president of a country, greatest fears and more.
One day you will be old. At least I hope to be. As I prepared for bed last night, I took one more glance in the mirror to observe myself, and I had an epiphany; one day I’ll be old and this skin that I’m waiting on to get better, will have lived life and …
What I thought 2019 would be vs what it is was. I felt like I was dragged through the mud, but there is light at the end of the tunnel, even if you have to fight tooth and nail for it! I share some of the difficulties of life and adulting.
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Posted in Experiences, Life
Tags
2020, Achievement, Aspirations, Business, dreams, Famous, Fitness, Goal, lifestyle, Lockdown, Magazine, Marriage, Quarantine, Socially acceptable, travel, Wedding
Are the goals and dreams you have yours? As in, do they belong to you? Were they carefully crafted in your mind, and intricately thought about by you, for you?
Are you sure?
Are YOU sure?
Just checking.
I saw someone get featured in a magazine and the next thought I had was ‘Oh I’d like to be a magazine’. I said it instinctively.
It was quickly followed by ‘Erm no you don’t. Why do you want to be in a magazine? How would it change your life? What would it do for you?’.
This internal conversation took place in a matter of seconds, and swiftly I threw that fickle desire in the bin before it grew legs.
Sure, it’ll be a nice to have, maybe, but when I checked in with my goals, being in a magazine wasn’t on the list, and I’m not about to shift my focus onto something different and someone else’s achievement on a whim, simply because it looked good.
Too often we collect other people’s achievements and aspirations, and make them our own and don’t even realise it.
And as we carry out the work associated with accomplishing that goal, we wonder why it’s so incredibly hard to attain, and why it’s not ‘working’ as it should. It could be because you had no business doing it in the first place.
I want my own business- do you really?
I want a huge wedding- do you really?
I want to be a billionaire- do you really?
I want this body type- do you really?
I want to be famous- do you really?
How much of what you do is done because it’s socially acceptable?
One of the beautiful things that has occurred this year is the realisation to many people of what is most important to them. People are waking up.
I have seen people move across the globe, get married on their doorstep, downsize the homes they’ve lived in for years, change careers, and just take chances they wouldn’t normally because they have come back home to themselves and are consciously doing what is right for them.
But like I said, I was just checking.
I trust that whatever you’re doing and working on, is for you, by you.
Bisou xo
When I take an unexpected break (which I am now calling a mid-season break), I usually return with an explanation in hand.I’m not doing that today (maybe later), and I hope by the end of this read, you too will choose yourself and your best interests. Society demands that you work incessantly. It’s crammed down …
There is so much of the world to see and experience, and what better way to do that than with friends and family, unless…you fight, fall out and break up! I speak on some of my trips, what happened and whether we bounced back, or not.
We all have events that have changed the course of our lives and who we are today. I share my experience on being uprooted from everything I knew, to start a life at a private boarding school in what was then a foreign country to me.
Man, the pressure. The pressure to be and do all is immense. I have been on the go for the past couple of months, and I was afraid of a burnout.To avoid that, I gave myself an impromptu annual leave from creating last week. The weekend rolls around, quickly might I add, and a recollection of …
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Posted in Lessons Learnt, Life
Tags
2020, Celebration, Christmas, Christmas Decor, France, happiness, inspiration, joy, life, Lockdown, Love, Motivation, Paris, Quarantine
I cannot remember the last time I decorated my home for Christmas. My family, at least the younger lot, aren’t fussed with Christmas much to my dismay. How and why don’t you love it?!?
Keeping up the Christmas cheer when others around you are not enthusiastic about it, has been challenging and ultimately demotivating. As a result my festive spirit waned over the years. Bah hambug!
This year is different. Maybe it’s because I’m away from home and in a new home, but I decided that given everything that has happened, creating a little joy in our place was necessary.
Saturday was the first day of the non-essential shops reopening, and having spent the last few weeks only going to the supermarket and straight back home, I was itching to get out and do other normal things, albeit with a mask on.
We spent the day deciding on Christmas decor; should we get a white tree? a green one? a snow Christmas tree? tinsel? a Christmas plant? decorative Christmas window stickers? Yes. Yes to everything.
That evening we put the tree together. It looked small and scrawny.
We spent the first few seconds after erecting the tree laughing at how uncharismatic and un-christmas it looked. Um did we make a mistake going for this tree?
A can of fake snow, tinsel, glittery green and gold baubles and LED lights later, we had a semblance of healthy-ish and joyful looking tree. Results! (Still a work in progress)
The warm and inviting ambience the lights create as it subtly illuminates the room, gives me instant joy and is a reminder that good and wonderful things exist. I’m glad I didn’t succumb to being the Grinch this year, as 2020 really doesn’t need any help with that!
My point is mark the occasion, no matter how little or who likes it or doesn’t, curate a little joy for yourself.
xo
We all have a part to play in the health, quality and longevity of our friendships. In today’s episode I speak on a friendship that was severed for 5 years, how we came back together, and what it ultimately taught me.
It’s been a whole year since the very first lockdown was in place. Disbelief is still something I contend with. In an instant everything changed, and we all had to adjust to circumstances we’ve never experienced. Still adjusting. Things happened that are irrevocable, and we’ll always have the memories of this unprecedented time. A different …
If there is nothing else you take away from me, let ‘stay focused’ be the thing you remember. I have been a conscious creative for 10 years. An entire decade. And in those years, I have done A LOT. I didn’t realise how much, until I stumbled across an old USB stick that contained some of …
We all have an internal GPS that guides us. Taking heed however, is a different matter altogether. This story is about a situ-lationship, that went on for entirely too long because I ignored myself and listened to others.
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Posted in Lessons Learnt, Life
Tags
2020, Adult, Discipline, Future, growth, Hurt, inspire, Lesson, life, Love, Motivation, Opinions, Pain, Relationships, Thirties, Tips, travel, Twenties
My next post is titled ‘Navigating Your 30’s’ and I thought before I drop that, I’d repost an oldie but goodie from 2017. I wrote this in the days leading up to my 30th birthday, and much has changed, with me that is.
For now, a quick refresh on things to know in your 20’s and at any age for that matter.
“Continuing on from my last post on Sunday, here are the next 10 things I have learnt in my 20’s:
I hope you find some of the 10 tips useful, what are your tips?
Xo”
There are some people I admire and think wow, how did they do that? How did they create this beautiful, innovative, otherworldly thing?And then like clockwork, I get a nudge reminding me that it didn’t happen overnight. I’m quickly brought back to reality and recognise how they have produced these things; work, a whole lot …
Grief is a minefield. You just never know what will happen next.
In this episode, I share my experience with grief, how I live with it, and the things that I have learnt.
I have a gripe. For some time now, seeing statements like this person is underrated, you could do better, or you have so much potential, has bothered me. Is there a standard we’re ALL meant to aspire to and must have? And if we do not attain it, do we need to throw towel in? …
I think we’ve all realised how important being in the right environment is to our mental, emotional and physical health. So much has broken down during this period, because of inhabitable spaces, toxic relationships and abusive behaviours. The effects of these things are damning and dangerous. But all hope is not lost. Protecting your peace and …
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Posted in Life
Tags
2020, Election, England, France, Growing Pains, Lockdown, Monday Motivation, Pandemic, Presidential, Sad, Transition, vision
I have been drafting this post for weeks, and with each passing day I say I’m going to finish it and click publish.
My perfectionism has had a firm grip on me, and it’s baby, procrastination, has been tap dancing all around me, however, I— I think today is D-Day.
It’s fortuitous as our friends stateside near the end of the presidential election, and my family and friends in England are preparing for a lockdown and I, well, I’m already in a lockdown in France. It’s all systems go and transitions of all sorts are afoot.
Transitions can be ugly, messy and traumatic. Even the beautiful and welcomed ones can still be difficult and sad.
I think it’s safe to say that we’re all experiencing a transition period of varying degrees, consisting of upheavals, rapid change, deep losses and lots of growing pains.
Naturally, there’ll be emotions that come up as you go through this phase, but don’t dismiss or suppress them as they surface. Allow them to breathe and work through them.
By doing this, you’re clearing the way and getting rid of the gunk in a healthier fashion and in turn making space to think clearly, and direct your energy where you truly want it.
Trust me, I get it. There is so much going on and it’s challenging to sift out what is for you and useful, and what isn’t.
With this in mind, what has become increasingly clear over the past few months is the power of words. And in this era of instant send and receive, it is crucial to own and use language that is not only yours, but in cultivating the circumstances you want to bring to life.
So be intentional. Create a haven for yourself with whatever you have. Envision something greater and keep going—You’ve made it this far, you’ll get through this too!
Xo
P.s I am still not entirely pleased with this post. The words just lack synergy, it feels gritty, but the aim is progress, not perfection.
Take care of it now, before it takes care of you. And I don’t mean in the good sense. You ever have something that you put off that you know you need to do. You keep saying tomorrow, Monday, next week, in March, and before you know it, all those dates have come and gone …
You’re very clear on what you don’t want. You’ve said it a million times, I don’t want this, I don’t want that, I don’t like this, I don’t like that. Are you clear on what you do want, as much as you are on what you don’t? In the past, I struggled with this. I …
This week has been…*deep exhale* In any case, we made it. And we mustn’t take it lightly. Someone, before the end of this sentence has left this realm. We mustn’t take lightly, the gift we’ve been given. It was 4am and I couldn’t sleep. No surprise there. I went downstairs and made a cup of …
The title, The Gardener & Bouncer, sounds like a sordid, salacious, juicy story doesn’t it? Sorry to disappoint, it’s not. Not this time anyway. What are you streaming? I don’t mean on the telly or PC, I mean on your minds streaming device. What are you picking up and creating stories around? What has slipped …
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Posted in Lessons Learnt, Life
The ground is fertile.
Everything is moving at lightning speed. And having paid very close attention to the times (yes, with all that is happening), now is the time to sow seeds, and to sprint towards your goals.
All we’ve known is being uprooted, things are shifting quickly, people are realising more and more what’s important, and ultimately change is afoot.
There are no blueprints to follow, because at this moment in history, everyone is figuring it out for themselves. Everyone.
This is the perfect opportunity to do away with the things you’ve always felt obligated to do, and carve out something new, something brilliant, something specially thought of for you, and by you.
Xo
P.s Don’t say I didn’t give you the heads up.
Nothing was the same. Do you know what’s beautiful about this time? None of us have been here before. And I suppose with nothingness in front of us, there is an opportunity here, to create from scratch. We can imagine and design something new for ourselves; as brilliant and advanced ways of being, have come from …
I’m fuming. Well I was a few hours ago. Every cuss word you can think of, I uttered it. I also thought about wishing constipation on the person who vexed me, just on one occasion (it’s mean I know). I’m still thinking about it… Anyone else suffer from severe anxiety when travelling? I do and have …
01.01.2021. There is something satisfying about this date. It denotes promise and a strength to start afresh.Nothing need ever be the same if you do not want it to be, as whatever has happened, has happened. It’s in the past. So with today, tomorrow and every other day, you have the opportunity to live your …
Is there much to say except, WE MADE IT!This wild ride of a year. When films depicted what the future would look like, it was flying cars, superpowers and robots. Not a global virus, worldwide quarantine and lockdown. Wait, did The Simpsons predict this? They seem to be right on the money on these things. …
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Posted in Experiences, Lessons Learnt
A little while ago someone asked me for some tips on blogging, and so many thoughts came to mind.
I had much to say; things I regret not doing, things I could have only learnt on the job, things I wish someone had told me, and things that are difference makers.
I gave her my most significant lessons, which in all honesty apply to many things, and I am sharing them with you today.
*record scratch* I had initially typed up the seven points I gave her, but upon reflection, I changed my mind as I really, really, really want you to focus on the important stuff. And now we have three.
The chances are, you know these things already, and if so, I’m reminding you again. There is no escaping these tenets, so you might as well concede, and be on your merry way to hopefully, a more enriched life, doing the thing(s) you have always wanted.
Xo
On the 17th, I turned 33. My Jesus Year. Whew. I can finally say that without thinking and feeling impending gloom (shout out to therapy). In the last year I have seen various conversations online about how incredible it is once you get to your 30’s and the leaps and bounds you make. I don’t …
What choices have you made was a question I was asked today. I wrote the question down in my trusty Office Depot blue notepad to answer it. My instinct was to list the ‘bad’ choices, the habits that do not serve me and then—No. I’m not going to do that, I’m going to do the opposite. I …
Talks of Tier 5? What are they doing? Who is in BJ’s camp advising him? And when will they all leave this office? Feels like we’re unlocking a new level in a game, but instead of gaining points, collecting treasures and getting super powers, we’re awarded an increase in frustration, confusion and sadness.I’m convinced Boris …
Are the goals and dreams you have yours? As in, do they belong to you? Were they carefully crafted in your mind, and intricately thought about by you, for you? Are you sure? Are YOU sure? Just checking. I saw someone get featured in a magazine and the next thought I had was ‘Oh I’d …
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