There is so much of the world to see and experience, and what better way to do that than with friends and family, unless…you fight, fall out and break up! I speak on some of my trips, what happened and whether we bounced back, or not.
We all have events that have changed the course of our lives and who we are today. I share my experience on being uprooted from everything I knew, to start a life at a private boarding school in what was then a foreign country to me.
Man, the pressure. The pressure to be and do all is immense. I have been on the go for the past couple of months, and I was afraid of a burnout.To avoid that, I gave myself an impromptu annual leave from creating last week. The weekend rolls around, quickly might I add, and a recollection of …
We all have a part to play in the health, quality and longevity of our friendships. In today’s episode I speak on a friendship that was severed for 5 years, how we came back together, and what it ultimately taught me.
Is there much to say except, WE MADE IT! This wild ride of a year.
When films depicted what the future would look like, it was flying cars, superpowers and robots. Not a global virus, worldwide quarantine and lockdown. Wait, did The Simpsons predict this? They seem to be right on the money on these things. Dodgy business if you ask me.
We completed a history-making, life-altering year. We lost a lot. We gave a lot. We changed a lot.
Whatever your current circumstances, well done. You might have lost someone, a job, a home, a friend, and more, but you didn’t cower. You showed up for yourself and others, and that deserves a celebration.
I know we’re massively restricted in what we can do, but I encourage you to mark this feat in some way. A letter of gratitude, a glass of wine, getting dressed up, praying, calling family and friends, dancing, singing and so on. It can be as crazy or as mild as you want, just as long as you acknowledge what you’ve accomplished.
As we enter into 2021, I want to wish you all a Happy New Year, full of incredible highs and wonderful moments! And thank you as always for your continued readership xox
It’s been a whole year since the very first lockdown was in place. Disbelief is still something I contend with. In an instant everything changed, and we all had to adjust to circumstances we’ve never experienced. Still adjusting. Things happened that are irrevocable, and we’ll always have the memories of this unprecedented time. A different …
If there is nothing else you take away from me, let ‘stay focused’ be the thing you remember. I have been a conscious creative for 10 years. An entire decade. And in those years, I have done A LOT. I didn’t realise how much, until I stumbled across an old USB stick that contained some of …
We all have an internal GPS that guides us. Taking heed however, is a different matter altogether. This story is about a situ-lationship, that went on for entirely too long because I ignored myself and listened to others.
There are some people I admire and think wow, how did they do that? How did they create this beautiful, innovative, otherworldly thing?And then like clockwork, I get a nudge reminding me that it didn’t happen overnight. I’m quickly brought back to reality and recognise how they have produced these things; work, a whole lot …
Talks of Tier 5? What are they doing? Who is in BJ’s camp advising him? And when will they all leave this office?
Feels like we’re unlocking a new level in a game, but instead of gaining points, collecting treasures and getting super powers, we’re awarded an increase in frustration, confusion and sadness. I’m convinced Boris hates his constituents. Everything, is too little, too late.
I understand that this is brand new for all of us, including the government. The difference however, is that they have access to experts in every field to guide them on how to best manage the pandemic and people, along with their expectations, well-being, and livelihoods. Also, we’re all privy to seeing how other countries have dealt with efficacy. For goodness sake, take notes!
We all hate what this pandemic has done, but it’s the management of it all that’s one of most challenging things about it.
The messaging has been unclear, impractical, and simply cannot be trusted. The ping ponging of our physical, emotional and mental well-being is what is taking a huge toll on everyone. Its our lives in the balance— double entendre intended.
I watched this video a little while back (see below) and this principle, is one way to effectively manage things in difficult and unprecedented times.
If anyone knows the PM, please direct him to this post. Thanks, management.
That’s my little rant over. Back to us.
For us as individuals, we have a responsibility to ourselves. We cannot afford to rely on the elected to make decisions that support us. So in this transformational period, pivot. This has been my saving grace. When plans do not work out, I work with what’s working, I look at the alternatives, I face what’s immediately in front of me not months ahead, I control what I can control, and leave the rest. Standing in one spot and allowing life to happen to us in every aspect is only going to pull us further and further away from our nirvana.
Shift your focus and pool your energy into a penetrable cause. Think of yourself as an athlete, say a tennis or basketball player or even a footballer. Consider how they constantly look for the opportunity to win. That’s what we can do too, win. N.B Everyone’s winning is different.
…And I have every faith that as resilient and buoyant people, we will recover, like always.
I have a gripe. For some time now, seeing statements like this person is underrated, you could do better, or you have so much potential, has bothered me. Is there a standard we’re ALL meant to aspire to and must have? And if we do not attain it, do we need to throw towel in? …
I think we’ve all realised how important being in the right environment is to our mental, emotional and physical health. So much has broken down during this period, because of inhabitable spaces, toxic relationships and abusive behaviours. The effects of these things are damning and dangerous. But all hope is not lost. Protecting your peace and …
Take care of it now, before it takes care of you. And I don’t mean in the good sense. You ever have something that you put off that you know you need to do. You keep saying tomorrow, Monday, next week, in March, and before you know it, all those dates have come and gone …
Are the goals and dreams you have yours? As in, do they belong to you? Were they carefully crafted in your mind, and intricately thought about by you, for you?
Are you sure?
Are YOU sure?
I saw someone get featured in a magazine and the next thought I had was ‘Oh I’d like to be a magazine’. I said it instinctively. It was quickly followed by ‘Erm no you don’t. Why do you want to be in a magazine? How would it change your life? What would it do for you?’. This internal conversation took place in a matter of seconds, and swiftly I threw that fickle desire in the bin before it grew legs. Sure, it’ll be a nice to have, maybe, but when I checked in with my goals, being in a magazine wasn’t on the list, and I’m not about to shift my focus onto something different and someone else’s achievement on a whim, simply because it looked good.
Too often we collect other people’s achievements and aspirations, and make them our own and don’t even realise it. And as we carry out the work associated with accomplishing that goal, we wonder why it’s so incredibly hard to attain, and why it’s not ‘working’ as it should. It could be because you had no business doing it in the first place.
I want my own business- do you really?
I want a huge wedding- do you really?
I want to be a billionaire- do you really?
I want this body type- do you really?
I want to be famous- do you really?
How much of what you do is done because it’s socially acceptable?
One of the beautiful things that has occurred this year is the realisation to many people of what is most important to them. People are waking up. I have seen people move across the globe, get married on their doorstep, downsize the homes they’ve lived in for years, change careers, and just take chances they wouldn’t normally because they have come back home to themselves and are consciously doing what is right for them.
But like I said, I was just checking. I trust that whatever you’re doing and working on, is for you, by you.
You’re very clear on what you don’t want. You’ve said it a million times, I don’t want this, I don’t want that, I don’t like this, I don’t like that. Are you clear on what you do want, as much as you are on what you don’t? In the past, I struggled with this. I …
This week has been…*deep exhale* In any case, we made it. And we mustn’t take it lightly. Someone, before the end of this sentence has left this realm. We mustn’t take lightly, the gift we’ve been given. It was 4am and I couldn’t sleep. No surprise there. I went downstairs and made a cup of …
The title, The Gardener & Bouncer, sounds like a sordid, salacious, juicy story doesn’t it? Sorry to disappoint, it’s not. Not this time anyway. What are you streaming? I don’t mean on the telly or PC, I mean on your minds streaming device. What are you picking up and creating stories around? What has slipped …
Nothing was the same. Do you know what’s beautiful about this time? None of us have been here before. And I suppose with nothingness in front of us, there is an opportunity here, to create from scratch. We can imagine and design something new for ourselves; as brilliant and advanced ways of being, have come from …
I cannot remember the last time I decorated my home for Christmas. My family, at least the younger lot, aren’t fussed with Christmas much to my dismay. How and why don’t you love it?!?
Keeping up the Christmas cheer when others around you are not enthusiastic about it, has been challenging and ultimately demotivating. As a result my festive spirit waned over the years. Bah hambug!
This year is different. Maybe it’s because I’m away from home and in a new home, but I decided that given everything that has happened, creating a little joy in our place was necessary.
Saturday was the first day of the non-essential shops reopening, and having spent the last few weeks only going to the supermarket and straight back home, I was itching to get out and do other normal things, albeit with a mask on.
We spent the day deciding on Christmas decor; should we get a white tree? a green one? a snow Christmas tree? tinsel? a Christmas plant? decorative Christmas window stickers? Yes. Yes to everything.
That evening we put the tree together. It looked small and scrawny. We spent the first few seconds after erecting the tree laughing at how uncharismatic and un-christmas it looked. Um did we make a mistake going for this tree?
A can of fake snow, tinsel, glittery green and gold baubles and LED lights later, we had a semblance of healthy-ish and joyful looking tree. Results! (Still a work in progress)
The warm and inviting ambience the lights create as it subtly illuminates the room, gives me instant joy and is a reminder that good and wonderful things exist. I’m glad I didn’t succumb to being the Grinch this year, as 2020 really doesn’t need any help with that!
My point is mark the occasion, no matter how little or who likes it or doesn’t, curate a little joy for yourself. xo
I’m fuming. Well I was a few hours ago. Every cuss word you can think of, I uttered it. I also thought about wishing constipation on the person who vexed me, just on one occasion (it’s mean I know). I’m still thinking about it… Anyone else suffer from severe anxiety when travelling? I do and have …
01.01.2021. There is something satisfying about this date. It denotes promise and a strength to start afresh.Nothing need ever be the same if you do not want it to be, as whatever has happened, has happened. It’s in the past. So with today, tomorrow and every other day, you have the opportunity to live your …
Is there much to say except, WE MADE IT!This wild ride of a year. When films depicted what the future would look like, it was flying cars, superpowers and robots. Not a global virus, worldwide quarantine and lockdown. Wait, did The Simpsons predict this? They seem to be right on the money on these things. …
On the 17th, I turned 33. My Jesus Year. Whew. I can finally say that without thinking and feeling impending gloom (shout out to therapy). In the last year I have seen various conversations online about how incredible it is once you get to your 30’s and the leaps and bounds you make. I don’t …
My next post is titled ‘Navigating Your 30’s’ and I thought before I drop that, I’d repost an oldie but goodie from 2017. I wrote this in the days leading up to my 30th birthday, and much has changed, with me that is.
For now, a quick refresh on things to know in your 20’s and at any age for that matter.
“Continuing on from my last post on Sunday, here are the next 10 things I have learnt in my 20’s:
Not everyone’s opinion matters, in fact yours is the most important. And if yours is self-depreciating then you need to remedy that immediately effectively.
Heartbreak hurts like a bitch, but one day you will be better. I was in love with someone for years and I honestly thought my little heart will never mend. It did. Now, I look back and laugh (cackle) at how dramatic that period of my life was. It was also one of the biggest teachers I have ever had.
Don’t be okay with the okey doke. If you believe you can have different, then go for it irrespective of what people say or the environment you are in. Many Greats started at the very bottom.
For my ladies, you can say no to sex if you don’t want to. Men, you don’t have to sleep with a girl, you control your membrane. Society might encourage that behaviour but for us all it is okay to say no, not today. The opposite is also okay too. But do so with caution and sense
Let go. It requires way too much to hold on.
Cut and or reduce communication with those that do not add to your life. Honestly, the power is in your hands. You absolutely have a say in who should be in your life and who shouldn’t. It takes one person to ruin your life, don’t let that happen on your watch
Travel. If it’s your thing and even if it’s not, a few visits to new places won’t hurt you, it’ll enrich your life.
Work on your discipline. To live the life you want will require sacrifice and discipline, otherwise years will go by and nothing in your life would have changed.
Think carefully about what you want your future to look like and start to work on it now.
People will let you down, repeatedly and you’ll do the same to others. Its life, nobody is perfect, don’t beat yourself up about it (I’m working on this as we speak), just do better.
I hope you find some of the 10 tips useful, what are your tips?
What choices have you made was a question I was asked today. I wrote the question down in my trusty Office Depot blue notepad to answer it. My instinct was to list the ‘bad’ choices, the habits that do not serve me and then—No. I’m not going to do that, I’m going to do the opposite. I …
Talks of Tier 5? What are they doing? Who is in BJ’s camp advising him? And when will they all leave this office? Feels like we’re unlocking a new level in a game, but instead of gaining points, collecting treasures and getting super powers, we’re awarded an increase in frustration, confusion and sadness.I’m convinced Boris …
Are the goals and dreams you have yours? As in, do they belong to you? Were they carefully crafted in your mind, and intricately thought about by you, for you? Are you sure? Are YOU sure? Just checking. I saw someone get featured in a magazine and the next thought I had was ‘Oh I’d …
I cannot remember the last time I decorated my home for Christmas. My family, at least the younger lot, aren’t fussed with Christmas much to my dismay. How and why don’t you love it?!? Keeping up the Christmas cheer when others around you are not enthusiastic about it, has been challenging and ultimately demotivating. As …
I have been drafting this post for weeks, and with each passing day I say I’m going to finish it and click publish. My perfectionism has had a firm grip on me, and it’s baby, procrastination, has been tap dancing all around me, however, I— I think today is D-Day. It’s fortuitous as our friends stateside near the end of the presidential election, and my family and friends in England are preparing for a lockdown and I, well, I’m already in a lockdown in France. It’s all systems go and transitions of all sorts are afoot.
Transitions can be ugly, messy and traumatic. Even the beautiful and welcomed ones can still be difficult and sad. I think it’s safe to say that we’re all experiencing a transition period of varying degrees, consisting of upheavals, rapid change, deep losses and lots of growing pains.
Naturally, there’ll be emotions that come up as you go through this phase, but don’t dismiss or suppress them as they surface. Allow them to breathe and work through them. By doing this, you’re clearing the way and getting rid of the gunk in a healthier fashion and in turn making space to think clearly, and direct your energy where you truly want it.
Trust me, I get it. There is so much going on and it’s challenging to sift out what is for you and useful, and what isn’t. With this in mind, what has become increasingly clear over the past few months is the power of words. And in this era of instant send and receive, it is crucial to own and use language that is not only yours, but in cultivating the circumstances you want to bring to life. So be intentional. Create a haven for yourself with whatever you have. Envision something greater and keep going—You’ve made it this far, you’ll get through this too!
P.s I am still not entirely pleased with this post. The words just lack synergy, it feels gritty, but the aim is progress, not perfection.
My next post is titled ‘Navigating Your 30’s’ and I thought before I drop that, I’d repost an oldie but goodie from 2017. I wrote this in the days leading up to my 30th birthday, and much has changed, with me that is. For now, a quick refresh on things to know in your …
I have a picture frame on my chest of drawers, and when I feel like it I change the picture to suit my mood. This time around I chose a baby picture of myself, and what I saw was my zest for life, excitement and innocence. I was full of promise. I also saw a …
The ground is fertile. Everything is moving at lightning speed. And having paid very close attention to the times (yes, with all that is happening), now is the time to sow seeds, and to sprint towards your goals. All we’ve known is being uprooted, things are shifting quickly, people are realising more and more what’s …
As each day passes, it seems like those in office are making Ip Dip Doo decisions concerning our lives, and I am both appalled and fed up. I am in that delirious stage of dealing with change, where I experience bouts of hysteria, because what we are experiencing is so unbelievable. I keep expecting the …
Everything is moving at lightning speed. And having paid very close attention to the times (yes, with all that is happening), now is the time to sow seeds, and to sprint towards your goals.
All we’ve known is being uprooted, things are shifting quickly, people are realising more and more what’s important, and ultimately change is afoot.
There are no blueprints to follow, because at this moment in history, everyone is figuring it out for themselves. Everyone. This is the perfect opportunity to do away with the things you’ve always felt obligated to do, and carve out something new, something brilliant, something specially thought of for you, and by you.
I have been drafting this post for weeks, and with each passing day I say I’m going to finish it and click publish. My perfectionism has had a firm grip on me, and it’s baby, procrastination, has been tap dancing all around me, however, I— I think today is D-Day. It’s fortuitous as our friends …
A little while ago someone asked me for some tips on blogging, and so many thoughts came to mind. I had much to say; things I regret not doing, things I could have only learnt on the job, things I wish someone had told me, and things that are difference makers.I gave her my most …
We don’t belong here, if we did, we’d be here forever.We’re merely passing through. Many people see Chadwick’s death as a deep loss, which it is, yet I can’t help but think, what a gift. 4 years ago he was diagnosed with Stage III Colon Cancer, and God said we could have him for as …
I came across this post two days ago by Monika A Mazur, and felt attacked by it. Can’t complain about results you don’t have for work you didn’t do. It convicted me, and reiterated that doing the work isn’t a part-time gig. Enjoy your weekend, but next week, we’re going to be on job! Xo
A little while ago someone asked me for some tips on blogging, and so many thoughts came to mind.
I had much to say; things I regret not doing, things I could have only learnt on the job, things I wish someone had told me, and things that are difference makers. I gave her my most significant lessons, which in all honesty apply to many things, and I am sharing them with you today. *record scratch* I had initially typed up the seven points I gave her, but upon reflection, I changed my mind as I really, really, really want you to focus on the important stuff. And now we have three.
No, your idea is not stupid. Run with it. The journey from inception to fruition might be a jog, sprint, or marathon, whatever it may be, just start! It doesn’t matter what it looks like, if there are errors or if it’s not exactly how you envisioned it, put ALL of that aside and start with what you have. And yes, you might be the only one who believes in it, still do it!
The best way to get better is to ‘do’. Do more, and that means practice, practice, practice! Practice precedes progress and improvement. Practice well.
Consistency. This one will make or break what you do. Do not underestimate it at all. Your work and purpose depends on it. It won’t be like that forever, but at the beginning and perhaps for a (very) long time, make consistency your goal. Think of anyone you consider to be successful, were they an overnight success? Absolutely not. It was consistency, trial and error and patience.
The chances are, you know these things already, and if so, I’m reminding you again. There is no escaping these tenets, so you might as well concede, and be on your merry way to hopefully, a more enriched life, doing the thing(s) you have always wanted.
You see the nice clothes in your wardrobe that you are saving for a ‘moment’ in your life? Wear it, because being alive is THE moment. The business you’re waiting for the right time to start because money, resources, and support isn’t there yet, sis, sir, those things will come, but you have to make …
Whether you’re a spiritual person or not, if you ask for something you will get it. The caveat however, is that it may not be in the form or fashion that you expect. At 2am on Monday, I pray and ask for the things I’d like this week. One of them was the courage to …
I have written some of these sentences multiple times, willing words to automatically materialise. It didn’t. At least not with ease. Words still escape me. This year The past few months The last three weeks have been worse than a Nightmare on Elm Street. When I said I could feel my second wind coming, I …
Fam. -Usually precedes the beginning of a wild, terrible, crazy, unbelievable story. If you have been able to do something, anything, during this time, kudos to you. If you haven’t because life stopped, dropped, rolled (a euphemism for shit blew up), kudos to you too. In both scenarios, you are doing what is best for …
2019 was what I considered to be the year of the purge. It felt like we were going through a spiritual and physical transformation in preparation for the new decade, and I accepted that, however, I don’t think whatever that period was meant to teach us stuck, so here we are.
The universe has given us a clear indication of what is necessary and we should take heed. We are being called to take the best care we’ve ever taken of ourselves, of others and the earth we live in. It is time to chill.
Granted, the world is in a frenzy, but you don’t have to be. This period, should you choose to see it this way, can be a beautiful opportunity for you to regenerate, to bond, to develop, and ultimately alter the way you see and do things going forward, for the better.
My belief, albeit contrary to what is currently happening, is that 2020 is going to be an incredible year, as we will become 10 times the person we were before, we just have to do our bit.
Naturally, as with most things and considering the circumstances, there will be loss, sacrifice, heartbreak and hard times, but it won’t last and we will get through it as best as we can, like we always do.
So stay indoors, keep healthy, take the necessary precautions, check on your loved ones and neighbours, help out wherever possible and rest.