Tag Archives: achieve

I Just Want To Be Successful

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I had an epiphany the other day that is reshaping how I think about myself now and I am hoping it will help you too.

Ever since I can remember, I have never considered myself as a success or that the things I have done have been successful because my view point is I can always do better and more. There has always been a new goal to work towards and I realise now that I could have achieved the most amazing thing and I’d never consider it good enough for that very reason.

I was in the shower when the thought came to me ‘I am a success’. I don’t know whose thought in the ether I picked up, but for some strange reason that statement permeated every part of me as the absolute truth. I AM a success.

All the ways I was/am a success came to mind, even the most unlikely of things like my job, which although doesn’t set my soul on fire, I have one. You think it’s easy maintaining a job with all its nuances that you don’t love, but still go to because it funds your real love? Sounds like a success to me- A shift in perspective.

It made me think, if I do not see myself as successful now with all the things I have done to date and who I am, what difference will it make when I achieve more and greater? When will that turning point come?

We too often qualify success on other people’s terms and find it difficult to see ourselves and all the things we have overcome and accomplished.

Give yourself some credit and spend a few minutes meditating on your achievements, especially the ones you overlook every day. You don’t need anyone but yourself to do that.

Start seeing yourself as a success now and watch you attract more of it because we attract what we are, not what we want to be.

Xo

A Single Mind

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You cannot have two masters, one will rule over the other. Ever tried to go left and right at the same time? It’s impossible.

It works the same if you are double minded. When working towards a goal, you cannot willingly accept alternative outcomes because the likelihood is you’ll end up with the least desired one.

Let’s say you want a brand new 2018 Mercedes Benz. You have this car in mind but then repeatedly say ‘Well if not a Mercedes, a Ford, Peugeot or Mini Cooper will do’. Can you see the confusion? You want a Mercedes but you’ve already considered various other options. By doing this you have done two things 1. You have already introduced failure and doubt into the equation by that line of thinking 2. It also means you won’t give all your efforts to getting the Mercedes because you have options and are comfortable with settling.

You must be clear and concise with what it is that you desire. Not being clear causes you to be stagnant, creates confusion, mediocrity and eventually frustration.

Focused and determined people are seldom unsuccessful.

If you are unsure of what it is you want or the goal, that’s completely fine. Simply set some time aside to write what’s in your head down on paper and begin to sift through what’s there until you’re more confident in what it is that you desire.

Being clear minded is not to be confused with not being open. To be open means to be flexible in how the thing comes to you not in what the thing is itself. Being clear minded is to know what you want. They work together.

Every accomplished person, knew what they wanted first. Get clear, your present and future depends on it.

Xo

“New Year, New Me” Stop Lying!

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First of all, HAPPY NEW YEAR! However you spent it, I hope it was good for you.

At the start of the year, we’re so strongly convicted of all the things we’re going to do and how this time it’ll be different (queue in the ‘This is my year’ warriors). How Sway? You won’t push yourself, but somehow it’ll be different, you won’t change your habits, but somehow it’ll be different, you won’t commit to anything, but somehow it’ll be different, you won’t alter your thinking, but somehow it’ll be different. Do you and I a favour and stop being deceitful.

The reality is, changing and improving the quality of your life is A LOT of hard consistent work and the results of it may not materialise until months and years later, so the question is, how bad do you want it and can you go the distance?

The unrealistic expectations that we sometimes hold of ourselves cause us to repeatedly fall short of our goals (myself included). We have it in our minds that it’ll be easy to accomplish and when faced the actuality of it, opt out and resign to a life of mediocrity.

With anything worth having, you will have to put the work in, not only in attaining it but to maintain it also. Whether it’s money, career, relationships, family, if it is to be successful, you will have to constantly work for/at it.

What does the work look like in real life? Time, effort, patience, sacrifice, discipline, self-control, consistency, commitment, developing, sweat, tears, failure, restarting, stress, balance, challenge, criticism, the list is endless. And yes, looking at that list it’s very easy to see why anyone would say ‘It’s not for me bro’, but if you want it, it’s a package deal- You can’t pick and choose the bits you want.

In my experience, when trying to change anything, the idea is to focus your energy on one thing. Full focus and attention on one thing is bound to produce greater results at a rapid rate than giving your divided attention to many things. The latter is also a sure fire way to not only be ineffective but stagnant. You will feel like you’re working but the reality is you’re working on too many of the wrong things at the same time and going nowhere fast.

Now I’m not advocating that you abandon everything else, simply that you devote most of your efforts to accomplishing one thing before diversifying. Become skilled at one thing and that will give you the necessary tools to increase your success rate in other areas of your life. Continue as you are? Well you already know what that looks like.

Xo

Protect Your Dreams

28 Friday Jul 2017

Posted by in Dreams, Experiences, More Action, Thoughts in motion

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Listen up: Be mindful of whom you share your dreams and goals with.

I get it.

When we have some exciting news about our lives we want to share it with the people close to us or even not so close to us.

My advice? Don’t. I cannot recall how many times I have spoken about something repeatedly that later on did not materialise. Granted, there are a host of reasons why that may be, but in my experience its best to keep goals and aspirations close to your chest.

Besides that, in telling the wrong people you may face ridicule, be made to feel crazy and encounter negativity concerning the vision that is quite specific to you. Your vision is not for everyone to get, it’s for you alone so don’t be disheartened when people don’t “get it”, they’re not supposed to.

You might even find yourself feeling the urge to explain and justify your dreams to them- Don’t you dare.  Leave it alone. If they cannot support you in the right way which includes being constructive (not destructive), then leave it well alone and continue to nurture your goals in silence.

If you are to share it, be sure to do so with the right kind of people. Those that are accomplished, those that will push you and hold you accountable, those that will lift you up when you feel down, those that can steer you in the right direction, those that can be a part of the solution and not the problem…you get my point.

Now does this apply to every single thing in your life? No, but use sense and wisdom…

and protect your shit.

Xo

P.s This is not to be confused with ‘Speaking things into existence’. Ill be back to talk on this soon.

Hey, Listen Up!

07 Tuesday Feb 2017

Posted by in Dreams, Experiences, Life, More Action, Thoughts in motion

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Hi Guys,

My real name is Irene and erm I have a tendency to saunter off when life gets manic but I’m working on it and I hope you can stick with me.

Pretty please…?

Thank you!

Xoxo

Okay, we’ve established that I’m guilty of going away and my excuse is I have been traveling, I visited Paris ooh la la. I don’t mean to sound like I am full of excuses because I am not. Well, not really, they are more like reasons, yes reasons, reasons sound better.

Anyway, I hope you have been doing fabulously! Let’s talk.

I was saying to someone yesterday, that it is so much easier to believe in someone else’s hype than your own. Why is that? :s
Take me for example, I personally believe everyone can fly if they want to, but to fill out an application form for myself sometimes is like Mount Kilimanjaro -_- .Not because I cannot do it, but if truth be told because I am not sure I’ll get it and dealing with rejection is a mother******.  The kicker is how am I supposed to get it, if I do not do the work that is required? However, ask me to jump off a ledge and I’d sooner do that than apply for a role. It is a strange conundrum I know but we’re going to mend it!

I can talk your ear off about affirmations, positivity, and all that stuff but, something has to change and the catalyst for that is action.

Let’s be about it, I am all about making leaps and bounds this year and shaking off those gremlins that have been gnawing at my/our brain ( gross I know) and preventing us from living the life we have always wanted to.  I am therefore challenging you to a duel with me, not really a duel, but to intentionally do the things that scare you shitless. I mean that thing that merely thinking about it, gives you the shits. Don’t front, we have all experienced that intense nervousness. That nervousness which you experience may be an indication of something that you really, really, really need to do.

How else are you going to make your dreams a reality, if you don’t switch up your regular, mundane, dry chapped lipped routine?  You must inject some life, some oomph, some je ne sais quoi into it!

Stop playing small and cowering away, step outside your comfort zone.

Oh and because I am not fear’s b*tch (lol I am on one today), I am sending part of my manuscript to two publishers this week, whoa!

You gon’ learn ta day!

XO

P.s Irene has been abducted and the above post was written by a clone named Irina. We do apologise if this post caused offence, sike!

‘One day’ is wishful thinking

22 Wednesday Jun 2016

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Sometimes saying a little says a lot.

The above picture were words said to me by my mother. It made me think of how true my mother’s proverb is.

One day is a hopeful wish and lacks any power, responsibility and commitment.We utter those words all the time, without any real intention to make whatever it is materialize.

If we think it, it can be achieved. The world we live in is full of things that were once a thought or an idea. We can travel from one part of the world to another in a day, once upon a time, this was a “ludicrous” notion.

Here’s the real on ‘one day’, one day is today. There is no time like the present, start planning, writing down the ideas, making that phone call, doing the research, joining the gym, registering for that course, looking at flight tickets, connecting with that friend, applying for that role, taking those pictures, opening that business account, registering your company, whatever it is, you have the power to make it happen, simply take the action towards it.

One day and one step at a time.

XO

Complaining gets you results!

06 Monday Jun 2016

Posted by in Dreams, Life, Thoughts in motion

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I have a confession to make. For the past three weeks I have been a champion complainer. Almost every single morning, I have bitched and moaned about this ‘thing’. What is the ‘thing’? Working, but more specifically the commute to work.

After not having a job for 5 months by choice, going back to work (also by choice, well more so necessity) has tested my entire existence. There were days where I woke up and thought, this is the day, this is the day, I am going to run into oncoming traffic and end it all.

Okay okay, that was a bit dramatic, but it would be dishonest to pretend that everything is all rosy when you bliming well know it’s not.

My first thought was I am being punished, this HAS to be the reason why all these ill-fated scenarios keep occurring. Alright, maybe punish is the wrong word, teaching me lesson.

The lesson being, do what you’re supposed to do, when you’re supposed to do it, otherwise you’d end up doing what you don’t want to do-like me ggrrrr.

In a weird turn of events, it’s placed the fire back up my butt to get out there and do more to get to where I want to be, a catalyst even.

I write this to stress that as much as your life may not reflect what you want, it is up to YOU to transform things around. I can whinge until I am purple in the face, if I don’t adjust what I do, then that is where I will remain. I guess that is what pains me the most, because I know wherever I am in life, was and is to a large degree, my doing.

It boils down to this, if you don’t like something, change it, if you want something, go for it, if you believe in something, act like it.

I’ll never forget when I had written a long message to my virtual mentor about doing something I had been afraid to do and all she wrote back was just do it. I remember being incredibly irritated by the response yet it was fact. You just have to do it, change it, remove it, test it, try it, it’s all in the action baby! (Said in a strong NY accent, a British one would just sound weird).

XO

‘I wish I was a little bit taller, I wish I was baller’

19 Monday Oct 2015

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I’m usually inspired by the people I meet and the conversations that I have. This particular dialogue is one that I have had with myself a lot. It’s the ‘I wish I could have’ one. My friend was talking about how he wishes he was a certain age again and what he would do differently-haven’t we all been there? Wishing we could go back in time and have that passion, that opportunity, that loved one, that money, but the truth is, we can’t go back, so what’s the point? Why hang onto ‘what used to be’ instead of relishing ‘what is and can be’.

Whenever that subject matter comes to mind, I actively think “stop holding onto the past, let it go, move on and be better”. Yes, you may not have the same drive, that chance or that relationship any more but what you do have is this moment right now. This moment to make things how you would want it to be, so that in a few years time, you can be happy and proud of the choices you’ve made and the way you have lived your life.

I have a friend I call ‘Mrs good times’ because she’s fond of looking back and saying those were good times yet I always say to her ‘but you didn’t think so at the time’. We are all guilty of doing that, wanting to rush into the next phase of our lives because the one we have right now just isn’t good enough and for many of us, it never will be. Our perception and consequently our attitude will determine how we feel about ourselves, and ultimately what we do.

2012 was an incredibly trying year for me. I was unemployed for most of it, to say that I was depressed would be using the word lightly. I had bills to take care of that superseded the amount of money I had at any given time.  I was working practically for free under duress; otherwise the meagre remuneration I was paid every two weeks would get cut off. After enduring a particularly difficult time, on my 25th birthday that year (which is mid December) I spent it crying my eyes out and I hate crying! I had well and truly reached my breaking point. Things eventually did get better. When I reflect on that period, there is one thing I had failed to realise, I did not appreciate the amount of time I had to myself.

My very first post on this blog was inspired by that season titled “Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time, for that is the stuff life is made of” a quote by Benjamin Franklin. I actually wrote that piece for a writing competition and decided to use it as my very first introduction to this blog site. I was completely blinded by my need to be self sufficient and pursue my aspirations that I could not see that the copious amount of time I had, could have been converted into creating work that required no one but me and my commitment. I started writing a novel in 2011 that I barely looked at in 2012. I was fixated on earning money, and seeking out others to give me an opportunity when there was one that I had in my hand. It was only after I began working again did I acknowledge the gem that I had been given.

Sometimes we go through things that we don’t fully understand all aspects of or value until much after the fact.

My rationale is this, no matter where you are at this present time, find the gift in it. Good or bad, there is always something to learn, develop and use to your greater advantage.

“The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly.”-Buddha

 

A Chess Game

03 Monday Aug 2015

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A Chess Game—you are amazing

Who likes to plan? I! Who wants things to go according to their plan? I! Whose plan almost never goes to plan? I!

Sometimes things don’t go according to plan and it sucks! You devote so much of your energy to making something work (Ok, slightly contradictory to my last post but don’t stone me just yet) and things still fall apart.

So what do you do? You stop *crickets, tumbleweed, saloon doors flap*.  You stop and take inventory of what’s taking place and re-strategise.

I cannot tell you how many people become stagnant and ‘fail’ because they’re stuck on their preferred means in which something is suppose to happen.  For example, I thought that by the time I was in my mid 20’s Ill have a thriving business, a plethora of accolades, my own immediate family (a girl can dream right?) HOWEVER, that is not what has happened *cues violins*.

If I gave up because those things had not yet occurred, you wouldn’t be reading this right now, you must keep going! Change the formula, experiment, pay attention to what is ACTUALLY working and do that.

Don’t go against the grain instead flow with the current, the fact that you re-strategised doesn’t mean that the aspiration will not be achieved, it’s simply a change of action plan.

“Progress is impossible without change, and those that cannot change their minds, cannot change anything”-George Bernard Shaw

PS the top three common things successful people say is important are: Have passion, believe in yourself and commit.