Tag Archives: Achievement

The Beginning: WDYWM?!

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The Beginning.

There are some people I admire and think wow, how did they do that? How did they create this beautiful, innovative, otherworldly thing?
And then like clockwork, I get a nudge reminding me that it didn’t happen overnight. I’m quickly brought back to reality and recognise how they have produced these things; work, a whole lot of work. Add to that work a bit of self-doubt, a nice dose of brokeness, years of winging it and voila!

Most notably is that they all started somewhere.
I say all this as a reminder for me and you, that success is not typically linear. It is often messy, and will have you second-guessing your existence and why you chose this path. The beauty in this, is that you are not alone. Millions of people go through this, so don’t lose hope or give up.

A podcast to laugh, learn and lament.

This brings me to part of the reason I have been a little bit awol of late.
You probably saw a random post two weeks ago, with no words, introduction, nothing, just an audio clip.
Well, I am happy to say that I have officially launched my podcast called ‘Why Didn’t You Warn Me?!’ and you can listen to it on Spotify (see below), Apple Podcasts and Soundcloud.

I have spent over a year figuring it out, attempting to perfect it, throwing all ideas in the bin, then picking one or two back up, dusting it off and trying, and trying and trying again. As we speak I have thrown the towel in a hundred times today because of software issues. It does not want me to be great, but I will persist!

Why Didn’t You Warn Me?! is about all the things we go through privately that in reality is a shared experience. We might look different, but we’re all connected, and this podcast aims to bridge that gap by telling as it is.

The first episode of WDYWM is about ‘Grief’. Sadly many of us are experiencing this or will at some point in the distant future, and I share my experience and thoughts on navigating through this.

I truly appreciate your readership, and would love to have your listening ears too. I hope you enjoy listening.
Please do rate, share and comment. Thank you!
Xo

LATEST POSTS

WDYWM?! Episode 10–My Life In Paris

This episode is about my experience of being a Black Brit who moved from London to Paris in a pandemic. I discuss having covid, language barriers and general challenges of integrating into a new society.

by Irene Ephraim

Forgive–To Cancel a Debt.

Nothing is more important than what you choose to do with the breadth of your life. To not forgive is to rob yourself of a life you deserve. …but alas it is you that has been sentenced to a life in prison.  Unforgiveness* is a treacherous con artist because it deceives you into thinking you’re …

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by Irene Ephraim

What Are You Looking At? 

A video of Kim K came across my sight over the weekend. It was her on SNL. I watched it and it dawned on me that I have no idea what she and her family were up to these days.  It’s fascinating what can change once you set your eyes on something entirely different.  I regularly …

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by Irene Ephraim

Finishing Well

I visited the Musée Yves Saint Laurent on Sunday and was re-energised by what I saw. For the designer, it was more than just clothes that looked good, it was art, curated by passion, breaking moulds and forging new ways to be seen and felt. As I perused his wears, studied the fabrics, observed the …

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by Irene Ephraim

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Good Choices

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What choices have you made was a question I was asked today.

I wrote the question down in my trusty Office Depot blue notepad to answer it. 
My instinct was to list the ‘bad’ choices, the habits that do not serve me and then—No. I’m not going to do that, I’m going to do the opposite.

I chose instead to write down the choices I made that worked out well, the decisions that turned into something marvellous; lifelong friendships, priceless moments, great financial gains, seeing the world, dedication to handling my business and therefore having peace of mind, being responsible, working smarter and much more. 
And as I did so, my trust in my abilities increased. I felt more empowered and actually, I do make f*cking great decisions. The list is proof of that. 

We don’t talk up enough our great commitments and how exceptional we’ve been due to what we did, and it’s high time we start. 

Spend 5 minutes listing the choices you made, be it big or small, that paid off or flourished or gave you an unforgettable gift.
Relish in what you come up with and commend yourself for being a remarkable human. 

Xo

Motivational & Intentional

September

The feeling of a crisp Monday morning cannot be replicated by any other day of the week. It’s full of both promise and dread in equal amounts. What will it bring? What will I have to tackle? What joy will I experience? What task might feel too great? And whilst you marinate on it, you’ll …

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Experiences

Back to Life, Back to Reality.

And if you’re seeing this post, it’s an indication that at least for today, I won. Whew! Returning to the blog after an unplanned period away, is like that first day at the gym after falling off for months. It takes a whole lot to get there. On this occasion, the distance was due to Covid. …

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Experiences

Question It

Fortuitously, I picked up this book recently to re-read it for the umpteenth time and the words below reflect my sentiments in this post. Much of our education of the world comes from other sources. We seldom form and realise our own ideas about it till much later on in life, if ever at all. …

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Yours or Mine?

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Are the goals and dreams you have yours? As in, do they belong to you? Were they carefully crafted in your mind, and intricately thought about by you, for you? 

Are you sure? 

Are YOU sure?

Just checking. 

I saw someone get featured in a magazine and the next thought I had was ‘Oh I’d like to be a magazine’. I said it instinctively. 
It was quickly followed by ‘Erm no you don’t. Why do you want to be in a magazine? How would it change your life? What would it do for you?’.
This internal conversation took place in a matter of seconds, and swiftly I threw that fickle desire in the bin before it grew legs.
Sure, it’ll be a nice to have, maybe, but when I checked in with my goals, being in a magazine wasn’t on the list, and I’m not about to shift my focus onto something different and someone else’s achievement on a whim, simply because it looked good.

Too often we collect other people’s achievements and aspirations, and make them our own and don’t even realise it. 
And as we carry out the work associated with accomplishing that goal, we wonder why it’s so incredibly hard to attain, and why it’s not ‘working’ as it should. It could be because you had no business doing it in the first place.

I want my own business- do you really? 

I want a huge wedding- do you really?

I want to be a billionaire- do you really? 

I want this body type- do you really? 

I want to be famous- do you really?

How much of what you do is done because it’s socially acceptable?

One of the beautiful things that has occurred this year is the realisation to many people of what is most important to them. People are waking up. 
I have seen people move across the globe, get married on their doorstep, downsize the homes they’ve lived in for years, change careers, and just take chances they wouldn’t normally because they have come back home to themselves and are consciously doing what is right for them.

But like I said, I was just checking.
I trust that whatever you’re doing and working on, is for you, by you.

Bisou xo 

LATEST POSTS

Face Your Front

Face your front is a common Nigerian expression, meaning to look ahead, pay attention to your affairs and stop watching others. The irony is the exact opposite expression also exists, and its ‘Look at your mates’, but we will unpack that another time. How much further along might you be if you pull backed some of …

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by Irene Ephraim

It Didn’t Work

It didn’t work. Didn’t it? Or did you give up after the first attempt?  We’ve become accustomed to expecting microwave results. We no longer believe in the art of cultivating, nurturing or giving of ourselves to a thing. We want it, and we want it now.  I often go back to what I was like as a child. …

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by Irene Ephraim

Endless Excuses

We are full of excuses. Excuses that hinder, inhibit, and can foster stagnation. And yes, sometimes they are valid and substantiated, however, they are only as powerful as we say they are. I often remember what a coach said to me once, after I poured out my heart and laid out my issues regarding overcoming …

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by Irene Ephraim

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Magic? No, Work.

25 Monday Mar 2019

Posted by in Experiences, Lessons Learnt, Life

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‘The magic you’re looking for is in the work you are avoiding’. I wish I could refute this statement with all of my might but I can’t.

As a professional work avoider, I know how much (temporary) enjoyment I get from skiving off. That is until the chickens come home to roost.

I also know that doing the work is the actual key to unlocking rewards. And there’s no other way around it.

Usually that piece of work that I avoid becomes easy once I start doing it, then I’m bemused because ‘what was the big deal?, why was I avoiding this?’.

I’d had been procrastinating on writing a business plan for my next venture. When I did get around to it, I realised I had already completed a large portion of it on a previous occasion (I must have been delirious whilst doing it). Oh. So I can do it then.

With the new week upon us, what work have you been running away from? Run towards it. Grab it by the horns and make it your bitc submit to you. You already have what it takes, use it. Even if you don’t know how, start with what you know and things will begin to unfold.

I’m learning that with what you want, you can’t be afraid to work and sometimes work hard, as it is the very thing that will call forth your desires.

Xo

Things That Go Bump

10 Tuesday Oct 2017

Posted by in Late night, Thoughts in motion

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It’s 3.24 am and I’ve decided I’m going to be a weirdo and post something. 

I’m not sure whether I can call it writers block because I don’t feel “blocked”, only that over the past couple of weeks completing a post has been challenging, so challenging that it hasn’t happened.

…See? I’m stumped. I don’t know what else to write or where I’m going with this.

Okay I’ve got it. Rather than let it be another month before something worthwhile comes out of my mouth, I’ll vomit on here some of things going through my mind and maybe you can relate.

1. Leaving my 20’s. I have just over 2 months before my next birthday and erm I’m kinda shitting myself. Out of my 101 goals, NONE have been achieved (exaggerating much?). I should have a thriving career, be a millionaire, married with one child, living in a beautiful home, the first person to…not sure what exactly, all I know is that I’m supposed to be the first in something, the list is endless. Those goals don’t shift and then there’s all my weekly/monthly/yearly goals, publish my book, travel more, buy a home, stay debt free, script write a show, put on a stage production, get fit, clear skin, blah blah blah.

2. After that there’s the day to day stuff, such as having a bus hit your parked car. I couldn’t make this shit up, but that is the third car incident in 3 months. Did you hear me? I said the THIRD in 3 MONTHS. Fortunately, I wasn’t in it nor was the damage irreparable. Still, it’s a pain to deal with. And that’s just one thing out of many more.

3. Due to the above I can’t help but feel a bit of a failure, like what have I done with my life? Granted, I am my worst critic and my perception of myself is undoubtedly warped, however this feeling isn’t any less true for me. 

With all of that said, the good thing is, these feelings will eventually pass and I take solace in that. 

Goodnight Xo 

P.s I did say I’d vomit, sorry 🤷🏾‍♀️.

A Dry Spell

13 Monday Feb 2017

Posted by in Experiences, Less Talk, Life, More Action, Thoughts in motion

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I bought these flowers last week and a day or two after getting them, I started to think ‘erm, are they broken?’ (I’m impatient remember and currently in rehab).

None of them were opening up, but I left them anyway. Slowly, one by one they began to bloom.

It reminded me that there is a process to everything and how crucial it is to be patient, lest (I feel so fancy using ‘lest’) you miss your time to shine.

Do not prematurely abandon your ship, in hopes of ‘making’ it on someone else’s or resorting to ‘it just isn’t for me’ quips. Without you, it will not reach its destination and neither will you. If you believe in it, deep down in your marrow, then continue to nurture it, no matter what anyone has to say.

Give it time, let your intuition guide you, and exercise patience- a lot of it.

Xo

P.s Patience is quiet, steady perseverance; even-tempered care; diligence.