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~ To A Life Worth Living xo

lipstickandblackcoffee

Tag Archives: Achievement

The Beginning: WDYWM?!

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Posted by Irene Ephraim in Life, Motivational & Intentional

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Achievement, death, Grief, Heartache, Pain, Podcast, Sadness, Spotify, Sucess, writer

The Beginning.

There are some people I admire and think wow, how did they do that? How did they create this beautiful, innovative, otherworldly thing?
And then like clockwork, I get a nudge reminding me that it didn’t happen overnight. I’m quickly brought back to reality and recognise how they have produced these things; work, a whole lot of work. Add to that work a bit of self-doubt, a nice dose of brokeness, years of winging it and voila!

Most notably is that they all started somewhere.
I say all this as a reminder for me and you, that success is not typically linear. It is often messy, and will have you second-guessing your existence and why you chose this path. The beauty in this, is that you are not alone. Millions of people go through this, so don’t lose hope or give up.

A podcast to laugh, learn and lament.

This brings me to part of the reason I have been a little bit awol of late.
You probably saw a random post two weeks ago, with no words, introduction, nothing, just an audio clip.
Well, I am happy to say that I have officially launched my podcast called ‘Why Didn’t You Warn Me?!’ and you can listen to it on Spotify (see below), Apple Podcasts and Soundcloud.

I have spent over a year figuring it out, attempting to perfect it, throwing all ideas in the bin, then picking one or two back up, dusting it off and trying, and trying and trying again. As we speak I have thrown the towel in a hundred times today because of software issues. It does not want me to be great, but I will persist!

Why Didn’t You Warn Me?! is about all the things we go through privately that in reality is a shared experience. We might look different, but we’re all connected, and this podcast aims to bridge that gap by telling as it is.

The first episode of WDYWM is about ‘Grief’. Sadly many of us are experiencing this or will at some point in the distant future, and I share my experience and thoughts on navigating through this.

I truly appreciate your readership, and would love to have your listening ears too. I hope you enjoy listening.
Please do rate, share and comment. Thank you!
Xo

LATEST POSTS

I Made It

33 held so much for me. I felt like I couldn’t fully exhale for a few reasons.Give or take the inaccuracies of reported history, Jesus was 33 when he ascended. My late friend was also 33 when he ascended. And a small part of me had come to anticipate that this too could be my …

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by Irene Ephraim December 17, 2021

CAN YOU HEAR YOURSELF?

The constant chatter is overwhelming. One person says this, another person says that. Your mum says it’s this way, your brother says it’s the other. Then there’s the people who love to be contrarian with no actual thoughts of their own, just adept at piggybacking off what a group of people might agree upon and finding a …

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by Irene Ephraim December 13, 2021

Cloudy With A Chance Of…

One day you’re fine, life is good and the air is filled with prospects that you could almost pluck them like the squiggly lines you see when you look at a blue sky. The following day however, you’re freezing your bits off, your umbrella is inside out and the contents of your bag have just …

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by Irene Ephraim December 6, 2021

The Improbable Is Still Possible 

Improbable–not likely to be true or to happen.I saw a TikTok of a guy doing the improbable. Getting two basketballs into a hoop using a crutch, throwing a CD into a moving Wii console, releasing ping pong balls with the aim of reaching various points and so on.   It was fascinating to watch. In a different …

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by Irene Ephraim December 2, 2021December 2, 2021

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Good Choices

29 Tuesday Dec 2020

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Motivational & Intentional

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Accomplished, Achievement, choices, Control, Decisions, Empowered, Evidence, friendships, Money, Relationships, Travelling

What choices have you made was a question I was asked today.

I wrote the question down in my trusty Office Depot blue notepad to answer it. 
My instinct was to list the ‘bad’ choices, the habits that do not serve me and then—No. I’m not going to do that, I’m going to do the opposite.

I chose instead to write down the choices I made that worked out well, the decisions that turned into something marvellous; lifelong friendships, priceless moments, great financial gains, seeing the world, dedication to handling my business and therefore having peace of mind, being responsible, working smarter and much more. 
And as I did so, my trust in my abilities increased. I felt more empowered and actually, I do make f*cking great decisions. The list is proof of that. 

We don’t talk up enough our great commitments and how exceptional we’ve been due to what we did, and it’s high time we start. 

Spend 5 minutes listing the choices you made, be it big or small, that paid off or flourished or gave you an unforgettable gift.
Relish in what you come up with and commend yourself for being a remarkable human. 

Xo

Late night

A Long Way From Home

Sometimes, it is necessary to look back. I randomly came across email exchanges from 14 years ago. What I saw shocked, embarrassed and made me laugh until tears fell. My verbal communication was abysmal. How did anyone ever engage in written conversation with me? and furthermore why? Were they nuts?! I didn’t go looking for …

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November 26, 2021November 26, 2021
Lessons Learnt

Treat It Like An Exam

Treat it like an exam. This came to me at 7:46am this morning.  I was pondering on the how’s of a particular thing. I quickly snapped out of it like a Raven Baxter premonition because the ‘how’ is none of my business. The ‘do’ is where it’s at. And by do, that means doing it …

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November 23, 2021
Lessons Learnt

Accelerate Your Life

The New Year is fast approaching, and it’s the time many people begin to reflect and go over the year. It’s at this point that people panic and have great anxiety over what they did or didn’t do and resolve to do better…in the new year.Why wait, when you can get a headstart now. One …

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November 21, 2021November 23, 2021

Yours or Mine?

10 Thursday Dec 2020

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Experiences, Life

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2020, Achievement, Aspirations, Business, dreams, Famous, Fitness, Goal, lifestyle, Lockdown, Magazine, Marriage, Quarantine, Socially acceptable, travel, Wedding

Are the goals and dreams you have yours? As in, do they belong to you? Were they carefully crafted in your mind, and intricately thought about by you, for you? 

Are you sure? 

Are YOU sure?

Just checking. 

I saw someone get featured in a magazine and the next thought I had was ‘Oh I’d like to be a magazine’. I said it instinctively. 
It was quickly followed by ‘Erm no you don’t. Why do you want to be in a magazine? How would it change your life? What would it do for you?’.
This internal conversation took place in a matter of seconds, and swiftly I threw that fickle desire in the bin before it grew legs.
Sure, it’ll be a nice to have, maybe, but when I checked in with my goals, being in a magazine wasn’t on the list, and I’m not about to shift my focus onto something different and someone else’s achievement on a whim, simply because it looked good.

Too often we collect other people’s achievements and aspirations, and make them our own and don’t even realise it. 
And as we carry out the work associated with accomplishing that goal, we wonder why it’s so incredibly hard to attain, and why it’s not ‘working’ as it should. It could be because you had no business doing it in the first place.

I want my own business- do you really? 

I want a huge wedding- do you really?

I want to be a billionaire- do you really? 

I want this body type- do you really? 

I want to be famous- do you really?

How much of what you do is done because it’s socially acceptable?

One of the beautiful things that has occurred this year is the realisation to many people of what is most important to them. People are waking up. 
I have seen people move across the globe, get married on their doorstep, downsize the homes they’ve lived in for years, change careers, and just take chances they wouldn’t normally because they have come back home to themselves and are consciously doing what is right for them.

But like I said, I was just checking.
I trust that whatever you’re doing and working on, is for you, by you.

Bisou xo 

LATEST POSTS

Little Pockets Of Joy

Joy is usually reserved for the ‘big’ moments. Moments like a new car, house, engagement, pregnancy, job and the like. It’s also solely thought of as something that is given to you, rather than something you can cultivate for yourself. This is where Little Pockets of Joy comes in. I believe in en•joy•ment of the …

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by Irene Ephraim November 16, 2021

Promise + Possibilities 

Promise– the quality of potential excellence.Possibilities– a thing that may happen or be the case. That we get to be here and experience a new week full of promise and possibilities is magical. I love that for us. Who knows what wonderful, delightful thing may happen to and for us. The promise within that, makes me …

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by Irene Ephraim November 8, 2021November 8, 2021

Winning in Real Life

Successful 1. accomplishing a desired aim or result. 2. having achieved fame, wealth, or social status. The media will have you believe that houses, cars, money, having a partner, and followers are the epitome of success. We inherently know this isn’t true, yet we still uphold them as markers of significant value. We yearn to have …

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by Irene Ephraim November 5, 2021

Follow Through

When I thought of today’s word, I’d already accepted that I had very little of it. Routines and monotony are not my strong suits. And then I looked up the definition and I was surprised. It’s shifted my perspective and has given me food for thought. We use discipline to strictly imply no stick-to-it-ness, but it’s official meaning …

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by Irene Ephraim November 4, 2021

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Magic? No, Work.

25 Monday Mar 2019

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Experiences, Lessons Learnt, Life

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Achievement, action, change, Goals, happiness, life, lifestyle, Magic, Monday, Motivation, Procrastinate, success, Will Smith, Work

‘The magic you’re looking for is in the work you are avoiding’. I wish I could refute this statement with all of my might but I can’t.

As a professional work avoider, I know how much (temporary) enjoyment I get from skiving off. That is until the chickens come home to roost.

I also know that doing the work is the actual key to unlocking rewards. And there’s no other way around it.

Usually that piece of work that I avoid becomes easy once I start doing it, then I’m bemused because ‘what was the big deal?, why was I avoiding this?’.

I’d had been procrastinating on writing a business plan for my next venture. When I did get around to it, I realised I had already completed a large portion of it on a previous occasion (I must have been delirious whilst doing it). Oh. So I can do it then.

With the new week upon us, what work have you been running away from? Run towards it. Grab it by the horns and make it your bitc submit to you. You already have what it takes, use it. Even if you don’t know how, start with what you know and things will begin to unfold.

I’m learning that with what you want, you can’t be afraid to work and sometimes work hard, as it is the very thing that will call forth your desires.

Xo

Things That Go Bump

10 Tuesday Oct 2017

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Late night, Thoughts in motion

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

30, Achievement, dreams, Goals, Insomnia, Late night

It’s 3.24 am and I’ve decided I’m going to be a weirdo and post something. 

I’m not sure whether I can call it writers block because I don’t feel “blocked”, only that over the past couple of weeks completing a post has been challenging, so challenging that it hasn’t happened.

…See? I’m stumped. I don’t know what else to write or where I’m going with this.

Okay I’ve got it. Rather than let it be another month before something worthwhile comes out of my mouth, I’ll vomit on here some of things going through my mind and maybe you can relate.

1. Leaving my 20’s. I have just over 2 months before my next birthday and erm I’m kinda shitting myself. Out of my 101 goals, NONE have been achieved (exaggerating much?). I should have a thriving career, be a millionaire, married with one child, living in a beautiful home, the first person to…not sure what exactly, all I know is that I’m supposed to be the first in something, the list is endless. Those goals don’t shift and then there’s all my weekly/monthly/yearly goals, publish my book, travel more, buy a home, stay debt free, script write a show, put on a stage production, get fit, clear skin, blah blah blah.

2. After that there’s the day to day stuff, such as having a bus hit your parked car. I couldn’t make this shit up, but that is the third car incident in 3 months. Did you hear me? I said the THIRD in 3 MONTHS. Fortunately, I wasn’t in it nor was the damage irreparable. Still, it’s a pain to deal with. And that’s just one thing out of many more.

3. Due to the above I can’t help but feel a bit of a failure, like what have I done with my life? Granted, I am my worst critic and my perception of myself is undoubtedly warped, however this feeling isn’t any less true for me. 

With all of that said, the good thing is, these feelings will eventually pass and I take solace in that. 

Goodnight Xo 

P.s I did say I’d vomit, sorry 🤷🏾‍♀️.

A Dry Spell

13 Monday Feb 2017

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Experiences, Less Talk, Life, More Action, Thoughts in motion

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Tags

Accomplish, Achievement, author, blogger, dreams, Goals, Monday Motivation, Patience, Season, Speaker, Test, Time, Trials, Valentines, writer

img_0222

I bought these flowers last week and a day or two after getting them, I started to think ‘erm, are they broken?’ (I’m impatient remember and currently in rehab).

None of them were opening up, but I left them anyway. Slowly, one by one they began to bloom.

It reminded me that there is a process to everything and how crucial it is to be patient, lest (I feel so fancy using ‘lest’) you miss your time to shine.

Do not prematurely abandon your ship, in hopes of ‘making’ it on someone else’s or resorting to ‘it just isn’t for me’ quips. Without you, it will not reach its destination and neither will you. If you believe in it, deep down in your marrow, then continue to nurture it, no matter what anyone has to say.

Give it time, let your intuition guide you, and exercise patience- a lot of it.

Xo

P.s Patience is quiet, steady perseverance; even-tempered care; diligence.

 

Why Didn’t You Warn Me?!

Why Didn't You Warn Me?!

Why Didn't You Warn Me?! is a podcast speaking on the things you should know, but don't. The things you typically find out after the fact, and it's sometimes too late. Fear not, Why Didn't You Warn Me?! with Irene aka Lipstick, will give you the 411 through story-telling, conversations, and refreshing perspectives.

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