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~ To A Life Worth Living xo

lipstickandblackcoffee

Tag Archives: Advice

Drop the Weight.

29 Thursday Nov 2018

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Life, Thoughts in motion

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Advice, Beautiful, Commitment, Goals, Hump Day, life, Thoughts, vision, Writing

facetune_29-11-2018-17-28-34-3You know what that weight is…it’s the thing you use as an excuse for your lack thereof or mediocrity.

You hold onto it as it makes you feel justified; family, friends, job, money, resources, pretty much anything can sound like a valid reason to not have or do something.

But what you don’t realise, is that until it’s out of the way, it will continue to oppress and hold you back. You will not be able to truly see the gift that is in front of you because there are too many things that you are giving much power to.

Let it go, clean it up or clear it out.

But before even doing that, you have to make a decision.

I had been holding my mother responsible for the reason why I haven’t been able to do a particular thing well for the past few months. She was being herself and I allowed it to impact what and how I did things. I decided to make a commitment to doing better.

Making that decision alone shifted how I thought about things and ultimately how I did it. I wasn’t going to literally wait around anymore, I was going to make improvements for myself. And as usual, the universe conspires in helping you meet your goal.

If you have been holding in or onto something or blaming someone for the shortcomings that are occurring in your life, make a decision to work through them to make the things you want happen. Drop the excuses, develop discipline and hold fast to your determination to see things through.

“I am going to make a very beautiful life for myself no matter what it takes”.

Xo

Chasing Waterfalls

24 Wednesday Oct 2018

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Lessons Learnt, Life

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Advice, Aspirations, focus, Goals, life, lifestyle, Money, Motivation, Speaker, writer

TLC said it best.

It can be a difficult pill to swallow when you’re in pursuit of something that doesn’t want you back. No matter how much you do it simply does not want to materialise or work out how you’ve envisioned.

In that there’s a lesson; don’t force it, let it go.

It means there’s another area in your life that requires your attention, what is it? If you don’t know, look a bit closer, it’s there, screaming pick me.

Once you discover it, direct your attention to that thing. Nurture it, learn from it, grow from it. Before you know it, like a boys summer growth spurt, what you were in hot pursuit of is here.

Sometimes it’s like that. There are certain things we have to experience first and learn from before we are equipped enough to handle our other desires. In fact it’s crucial that we do, so we have less of a chance to totally screw it up!

It’s sucks, I know, but something greater is possible if you allow it to be.

xo

The Finish Line

21 Wednesday Mar 2018

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Experiences, Life, More Action, Motivation

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Advice, author, Business, focus, Goal, inspiration, life, lifestyle, Men, Motivation, Skills, vision, Women, writer

We all know the story of the Tortoise and Hare and if you don’t you can read about it here.

It’s almost impossible to ignore what people are doing, how they’re doing it and who they’re doing it with (ew get your mind out of the gutter). There are images and videos everywhere you turn! Suddenly, you start to feel inadequate and a small irritating voice says ‘why aren’t you doing better?, you should have been doing this by now, you’re such a flop, you’ll never make it if you’ve not made it by now, give up, you started out together but look at what s/he has done and you’re STILL struggling, just pack it all in’. Ugh, shoot me now.

So what do you do?

Focus.

The Tortoise is slow by nature and in this instance he was well aware of his capabilities. He didn’t try and be like the Hare because the way his body is set up it’d never cope. Could you imagine seeing him sprint with a heavy ass shell around his body, itty bitty chunky legs and a small head with beady eyes? Comical. Even if he managed it for some parts of the race, his whole body at some point will betray him. Instead, he ran his own race at his own pace and won.

Ultimately it was his focus on what he was doing and an awareness of his abilities that got him across the finish line to win. When the Tortoise didn’t see the Hare in the race, he didn’t suddenly decide ‘you know what let me just chill seeing as the Hare is sleeping, I have time’, he chose to continue on. Coincidentally it was the Hare’s lack of focus that made him lose.

The Hare overestimated his abilities and underestimated his opponents. Rather than give his attention to the task at hand which was to win the race, he was mocking what the Tortoise was doing and how he was doing it. It was at this point that he didn’t know he f**ked messed up.

‘But Irene I don’t know what to focus on?’ Well what’s in front of you? Focus on that. What opportunity is looking at you dead in your eye that you’re missing? Okay it might be heavily disguised and not quite look like what you expect but once you discover it, work on it anyway.

‘How?’  It’s not your business to spend time going over the how just DO. Do it whichever way you know and continue to do and do and do and do and before you know it you’re mastering the how and how not to, make sense? BUT, if you don’t make a move, it’ll never happen.

To sum this up, do your best at minding your business.

Xo

Make Room

16 Tuesday Jan 2018

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Experiences, Life, More Action, Motivational & Intentional

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Advice, blogger, change, Declutter, growth, inspire, lifestyle, Motivation, Possession, Stress, writer

I have an iPhone and it feels like every few seconds it tells me ‘Storage almost full’. Seeing this message has become the absolute bane of my life. I then start the process of looking for things to delete in order to create space and what I usually find tends to surprise me. ‘How did this get there?, erm this is useless, I’d never use this again, I have no interest in that, ergh delete’ are the thoughts I have when doing this.

It’s amazing how quickly things take form and become staples in our lives without us even realising it.

It’s crucial that we declutter on a regular basis so that we can make room for the things we really want and need in our lives now. This could be physically in terms of our possessions or mentally in respect of the way we think that no longer serves us and has now unknowingly become a hindrance or the time we afford others, it could be anything. Unfortunately we don’t have a message that pops up to tell us when we’re reaching our capacity and need to offload, but there are other tell tale signs that we can use to our advantage.

Lighten your load by decluttering and make room for what you want.

Xo

Sixth Sense

18 Wednesday Oct 2017

Posted by Irene Ephraim in More Action, Motivation

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Advice, blogger, Clarity, lifestyle, Love, Monday, Motivation, Sixth Sense, Therapy, writer

I knew spilling my guts on here would help me out. Phew!

It’s like having a good old cry and suddenly having clarity afterwards, or when you’re having a bad day and opt to just sleep it off and you wake up feeling better. That’s what writing out my jargon on here did for me, so thank you.

Letting it flow will always produce much better results that forcing it to go. 

One of the things I heavily rely to do this, is my intuition and its especially handy with my writing. I go with what I sense rather than what I think.

You might not believe it, but you actually know what’s good for you, you simply don’t trust yourself enough to go with it.

So before you rest your eyes tonight, take a little bit of time to figure out the answers to the following:

  1. What you are feeling?
  2. Why you are feeling it?
  3. What’s taking place?
  4. Where you are heading next?

Sounds like a lot, but you can very quickly figure things out if you really focus on getting answers. Use your sixth sense (everyone has it, you just have to listen) to guide you to a better life.

Life has its own ebb and flow that if you pay real close attention to, will serve you well. Go against it and you’ll be fighting the change you actually want for much longer and a whole lot harder.

Even if its not clear to you now, it will be over time, flow with it.

Trust it, trust yourself.

Goodnight xo

When Things Go Wrong

05 Wednesday Jul 2017

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Experiences, Less Talk, Life, More Action, Thoughts in motion

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Advice, Effort, Existence, Fail, growth, Hump Day, life, Manifest, Speak, success, writer

I think there is something about speaking of things you are going to do and it ultimately going tits-up right after.

It feels like every time I speak of something I am going to do publicly, it doesn’t happen. Is there some sort of wicked force that actively works against me in that moment? If there is they need to cut that shit out.

For example, I said I would do a daily diary and that didn’t materialise in the way that I wanted (Sorry 😦 ), yet I had every intention on doing so and even made the efforts towards making this a reality but it just didn’t happen.

On the flip side, there have been many occasions where what I speak of comes to pass. It’s usually in cases where I haven’t put much thought into things or did not direct ALL my energy towards it and BOOM! Manifestation. My point? Think it, work on it, let go of the outcome.

There is also another lesson here for me to learn in how I approach things going forward, don’t speak about what you’re going to do, ever, just do it. With all things, just do it.  

So as the momentum for the 7 day diary has passed, we’re going to scrap that altogether and go with the flow. I am a firm believer in letting things be and not forcing the unnatural to happen because it just won’t. All it will cause is further frustration and the thing you want to get hot wheels and keep running from you.

When things go wrong, and you make a few attempts to fix the issue and it doesn’t work, do yourself a favour; let the chips fall where they may. Some things simply have to fall apart before they can come together again. It needs that space for whatever it is to breathe, evolve and settle, then and only then can true change take effect.

Take a deep breath and momentarily, let it be.

IMG_1871

Xo

P.s Maybe I’ll revisit this 7 day diary…or not lol.

 

Before Beyoncé was Beyoncé

05 Wednesday Apr 2017

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Experiences, Life, More Action

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Advice, Beyonce, blogger, Hardwork, Motivation, results, Travelled, writer

You think Beyoncé is who she is because she is simply gifted? Hardly. In fact she works HARD to create and build all she has.

I’d love to tell you that all the Greats were born great (so that you and I can feel better about ourselves) but they’re not, well not entirely.

What they are able to do that many others do not, is to harness a talent or skill to its fullest by practicing repeatedly over long periods of time to get better, smarter and faster. To do this requires plenty of endurance, creativity, effort, patience…the list is endless.

Here’s my question to those of you pining over being really shitty at something; are you prepared to do something for a long time without ceasing or immediate gratification to become better? Or, will you give up shortly afterwards because you’re not seeing your desired results? Both choices have consequences and you ultimately contribute to those outcomes by what you do.

Trust me, I am a part of the instant gratification gang, I want it now, but I have learnt that some things, especially wonderful things, take time.

I do not like the fat that has “somehow” attached itself to my midriff (how dare it?!), but sit there and complain about it? Nope! The gym and I are slowly but surely becoming bum chums and I know that in time, I will see good results.

The decision is yours to make about how you affect what happens next- take the road less travelled.

Apply yourself.

Xo

Lemonade

20 Friday Jan 2017

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Life, More Action, Thoughts in motion

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Advice, author, Beyonce, blogger, Create, inspire, Lemonade, Lemons, Lesson, life, Millionaire, Motivation, Resilience, Survive, Thrive, writer

I am probably going to tell this fable all wrong and add and subtract bits, but you’ll get the gist. My counsellor told me a story about a multimillionaire and it goes like this.

He had a pool in his house filled with alligators and he said that whoever can swim the length of this pool and make it out will be given half of his wealth.  Of course, the rich man did not believe anyone could make it through. The next minute, all you could hear and see is a man who was thrashing and flailing his arms around like a mad man in the pool. He miraculously made it out on the other side, unscathed.

The crowd was applauding and cheering.  He was now the heir to half of the rich man’s wealth and his first words after gathering himself together were “Who pushed me?”

When I was told this story, I laughed so hard. I was having a miserable day and hearing it, thoroughly cheered me up because I could certainly relate.

We’ve all been in a situation where we have been thrashing and flailing our arms for dear life and somehow we survived. We probably didn’t think we would, but we were trying anyway because we had no choice. These moments are what I call lemons.

Sometimes its life’s way of showing you that you have become complacent and that thing that you want is NOT going to come to you if you carry on as you are, so it thrusts you forward and lemons appear everywhere, it’s time for you to thrash and flail. Do not despise this phase of your life, instead see this as your opportunity to grow, learn and once on the other side, thrive and drink lemonade.

Xo

Get A Life!

12 Monday Sep 2016

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Experiences, Life, Thoughts in motion

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Advice, believe, blogger, Brave, choice, Fearless, Fit, inspiration, Jump, life, Live, Monday, Motivation, writer

Cheeky much? Hear me out though.

Are you waiting for something to happen? What is that something? Will you know what that something is, should it come along? Well, while you’re waiting for that “something”, life is happening all around you.

We all unequivocally know that life is short, tomorrow is not promised and the best time is always now, so with that knowledge why do you, yes you, not have the life that you so desire? What are you waiting for?

Yesterday I was bored and even though I had multiple things to do, it all bored me stiff. I wanted something magical to happen, something spectacular, something to excite me, that something did not come. Huff. I have great expectations of life and when they do not materialise, it is disappointing to say the least, but here’s the thing, does life only take place in your room and in your home? ABSOLUTELY NOT.

You have to get up, go out and get a life. There is so much to explore, witness, and engage in, within your community alone, what more the country or the world?! You could live till you were 1000 years old and you still wouldn’t have conquered or experienced everything that is in this life.

A few months ago I saw a woman get on the back of a motorbike, and I thought how cool why don’t I do that? I love being on a bike and whilst its usually deemed to be a “man” thing, I thought why the hell not me?  I have a penchant for living a little bit dangerously or should I say fearlessly, and in that moment I decided that I would get a bike license, after all what is stopping me? Nothing! Not my parents or friends and their opinions, or the ideas of what “someone like me” should/shouldn’t do, what is most significant is what I believe and want for myself, everything else is secondary. I recently passed my motorcycle theory test and will be doing my practical test in the very near future, if you think you can, you can.

For whatever reason, some people see a desire and think it doesn’t belong to them, that it is for a special person or group, when in fact that’s a lie. If you want something for yourself, then it IS for you, say yes to it. The one power we humans share, is our ability to achieve monumental things once we have made up our minds. Absolutely nothing can stop us, we were born with that innate quality, so make good use of it.

Go do what you have always wanted, the how is not important, the why is.

Be wonderful, be brave, be superfly!

Oh and one last thing, words stick, so speak only of the things that you want and nothing of the things you do not want. Words stick, so speak only of the things that you want and nothing of the things that you do not want. Words stick, so speak only of the things that you want and nothing of the things you do not want.

Repetition is the mother of          you can fill in the blank  😉

XO

Ps I asked a lot of questions in this post didn’t i? :s

Why Didn’t You Warn Me?!

Why Didn't You Warn Me?!

Why Didn't You Warn Me?! is a podcast speaking on the things you should know, but don't. The things you typically find out after the fact, and it's sometimes too late. Fear not, Why Didn't You Warn Me?! with Irene aka Lipstick, will give you the 411 through story-telling, conversations, and refreshing perspectives.

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