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lipstickandblackcoffee

~ To A Life Worth Living xo

lipstickandblackcoffee

Tag Archives: anxiety

Cloudy With A Chance Of…

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Posted by Irene Ephraim in Lessons Learnt, Life

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anxiety, Christmas, Dark Space, depression, life, Mental Health, Monday Motivation, Space

One day you’re fine, life is good and the air is filled with prospects that you could almost pluck them like the squiggly lines you see when you look at a blue sky.

The following day however, you’re freezing your bits off, your umbrella is inside out and the contents of your bag have just tipped all over the wet, gum filled floor. You feel as if the wind has been knocked out of you and you’re gasping for that same air. It is bleak.
If it was possible to re-enter the womb, you would. 
How did we get here? Sometimes there’s no rhyme or reason as to why things rapidly change internally for us, but what is important to remember, is that it is not permanent.

When the grip feels firm and it’s hard to see a way out, look up, as this too shall pass. 
You can point to any previous year or era of your life and recall that you once thought you wouldn’t make it out of this phase. And you did.

I looked back at journal entries from a couple of months ago and I saw evidence of good days, great plans and wonderful imaginations. It was a reminder that no matter how crappy the current moment is or what obstacle exists, it is not here to stay and things will always get better.

Xo

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Life

I Made It

33 held so much for me. I felt like I couldn’t fully exhale for a few reasons.Give or take the inaccuracies of reported history, Jesus was 33 when he ascended. My late friend was also 33 when he ascended. And a small part of me had come to anticipate that this too could be my …

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December 17, 2021
Lessons Learnt

CAN YOU HEAR YOURSELF?

The constant chatter is overwhelming. One person says this, another person says that. Your mum says it’s this way, your brother says it’s the other. Then there’s the people who love to be contrarian with no actual thoughts of their own, just adept at piggybacking off what a group of people might agree upon and finding a …

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December 13, 2021
Life

The Improbable Is Still Possible 

Improbable–not likely to be true or to happen.I saw a TikTok of a guy doing the improbable. Getting two basketballs into a hoop using a crutch, throwing a CD into a moving Wii console, releasing ping pong balls with the aim of reaching various points and so on.   It was fascinating to watch. In a different …

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December 2, 2021December 2, 2021

In My Feelings

04 Monday Jan 2021

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Life

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Anger, anxiety, Balance, Brexit, Emotions, EU, Feelings, Hurt, Oppress, Pain, Pendulum, Repressed, Suppress, Travelling, UK, Yin Yang

I’m fuming. Well I was a few hours ago. 
Every cuss word you can think of, I uttered it. I also thought about wishing constipation on the person who vexed me, just on one occasion (it’s mean I know). I’m still thinking about it…

Anyone else suffer from severe anxiety when travelling? I do and have done for over a decade.
It’s the not the mode of transportation that’s nerve-wracking. It’s the mandatory, and sometimes very unnecessary red tape that has me feeling out of sorts. 

I was on my way back into London from France, and needless to say things have changed. 
I can’t queue up with my European mates anymore. I don’t belong and it’s a sad sad affair.

The process made me feel like an other, and I, like most people, do not like to feel like an other.
That, along with other new procedures and the Edna doppelganger cutting one of my cherished pieces of jewelry to smithereens made the journey unpleasant.
Welcome to post-brexit. 

I couldn’t ‘hummm’ or ‘kumbaya my lord’ out of this one and that’s okay. It’s okay to be upset as long as you don’t do anything irresponsible or regrettable. 

Anyway what’s my point? My point is I’m human and have off days, low moments and stressful periods, and experiencing these things, even for extended periods of time is perfectly normal. 
I’ll say it again, is perfectly normal. 

In such times, and you’ve probably not heard this enough, refrain from self flagellation of any kind.
Instead, feel the feels and let it pass through. Don’t suppress it, because you’re not a stuffed teddy void of emotions, you’re human and all feelings are a natural part of being alive.

For whatever reason, society has only made “good” emotions permissible. The rest is shunned and considered abominable.
No wonder we’re perpetually miserable! We’ve been repressed since we were children, and told that it’s not okay to cry, or to be angry, or to be jealous or whatever other emotion is considered unacceptable. As a consequence, these suppressed emotions sometimes manifest itself through our bodies in the form of (a) dis-ease.

Yin and yang - Wikipedia

The irony is, those taboo emotions are part of the Yin and Yang, and a pendulum swings both ways for a reason; balance.

So if you are angry, be angry, if you are hurt, be hurt, if you are sad, be sad. The only caveat with this, is to not act in a way that is detrimental to you or others.
Let your emotions exist without judgment. By doing this is how you begin to exercise mastery over self. You gain a better understanding of who you are and what belongs to you, and over time and with practice, you can observe the emotions and consciously choose what you do next…it will be your superpower.

I don’t want to be at the mercy of my emotions. I want to use them, to enjoy them, and to dominate them.

Oscar Wilde

Xo 

LATEST POSTS

Cloudy With A Chance Of…

One day you’re fine, life is good and the air is filled with prospects that you could almost pluck them like the squiggly lines you see when you look at a blue sky. The following day however, you’re freezing your bits off, your umbrella is inside out and the contents of your bag have just …

Continue reading →

by Irene Ephraim December 6, 2021

A Long Way From Home

Sometimes, it is necessary to look back. I randomly came across email exchanges from 14 years ago. What I saw shocked, embarrassed and made me laugh until tears fell. My verbal communication was abysmal. How did anyone ever engage in written conversation with me? and furthermore why? Were they nuts?! I didn’t go looking for …

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by Irene Ephraim November 26, 2021November 26, 2021

Treat It Like An Exam

Treat it like an exam. This came to me at 7:46am this morning.  I was pondering on the how’s of a particular thing. I quickly snapped out of it like a Raven Baxter premonition because the ‘how’ is none of my business. The ‘do’ is where it’s at. And by do, that means doing it …

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by Irene Ephraim November 23, 2021

Accelerate Your Life

The New Year is fast approaching, and it’s the time many people begin to reflect and go over the year. It’s at this point that people panic and have great anxiety over what they did or didn’t do and resolve to do better…in the new year.Why wait, when you can get a headstart now. One …

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by Irene Ephraim November 21, 2021November 23, 2021

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What’s The Worst That Can Happen?

30 Thursday Jul 2015

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Experiences, Life

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action, anxiety, depression, emotional, lifestyle, mental, perspective, Physical, possibility, think

What’s the worst that can happen?

I learnt something recently that I thought was quite insightful, ’Anxiety is worrying about the future and depression is worrying about the past’. The truth is the ONLY thing that matters is this present moment and what you chose to do with it.

Confess, how many of you have spent an inordinate amount of time worrying about what ‘could’ happen? I know I’m a repeat offender and all that serves to do is to rob me of my present time and my senses.

Out of all the things that you foresaw happening, how much of it actually manifested? In retrospect, what was the purpose of giving those imagined stresses your valuable energy? As the saying goes, whatever you focus on expands. The same applies to the past, (and I don’t mean to trivialise it ) you are no longer experiencing whatever it was that happened to you in the physical, why chose to mentally re-enact the circumstances and consequently reengage the emotions over and over again? its torture.

Okay let’s say it materialised as you anticipated, now what? You deal with it. Sounds harsh but follow me for a minute, think back to when there were others issues that arose in your life, I’m pretty sure at the time you thought ‘I’m not going to be able to deal with this’ yet you did.

The quality of life can be enhanced by CHOOSING to perceive it differently-When you think differently, you behave differently and therefore alter the end results.

I was having a morning of it, self- inducing stress over things that had not yet happened. The moment I begun to tell myself my worries have not occurred, it calmed me down significantly and I regained focus on what I am able to do now and also on what I do have. Granted, it is not always as easy as this, but it’s a good place start.

We are not taught to let go enough, instead it is reinforced to live in the past and never forget what someone did to you, what you encountered, or what might have been. With that comes a whole set of residual interests by way of our memories and feelings, it’s no wonder that many of us are embittered and miserable. We are in a constant state of past dwelling (or in some cases future dwelling).

Take time today to consider where you deposit your physical, mental and emotional energy, assess whether it is effectively being used in the right place. If you conclude otherwise, consciously choose to transfer it elsewhere and it starts by becoming aware.

Following on from that, centre your energy on the things you have the ability to affect for the better. The idea is to build on that instead of dissipate your energy being anxious.

The way you think either fortifies you or is killing you-remember that.

Why Didn’t You Warn Me?!

Why Didn't You Warn Me?!

Why Didn't You Warn Me?! is a podcast speaking on the things you should know, but don't. The things you typically find out after the fact, and it's sometimes too late. Fear not, Why Didn't You Warn Me?! with Irene aka Lipstick, will give you the 411 through story-telling, conversations, and refreshing perspectives.

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