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~ To A Life Worth Living xo

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Tag Archives: belief

Belief–An Acceptance That Something Exists

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Posted by Irene Ephraim in Life, Motivational & Intentional

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belief, health, trust, Wellness

I made myself stupid. Hear me out.

Years ago, because of an unhealthy level of expectation I placed on myself (which stemmed from comparison), I would harshly judge what I said and how I said it. I would go over every minute detail and pick myself apart mentally, with the underlying message being you’re not smart enough, you have to do better.
We think these types of statements will encourage us to improve, but instead, it has the opposite effect because as a man (subconscious) thinketh, so is he.

The lack of belief in my abilities caused me to self-fulfil the fear in my own words. I was becoming stupid.

Once that information came into my awareness, I little by little, changed the internal conversations I was having about myself. This meant every time I said something not in alignment with the truth, I verbally cancelled those words/thoughts and replaced it with what I intentionally chose to believe about myself.
These small adjustments however, rarely feel impactful at first. It’s not until one ordinary day, as you’re putting the washed dishes away, do you realise your beliefs have changed and so have your circumstances.
Words have meaning & thoughts become things; don’t underestimate the power in your thoughts or words or things.

Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t–you’re right

Henry Ford

Xo

A Little Value For The Value

LATEST POSTS

I Made It

33 held so much for me. I felt like I couldn’t fully exhale for a few reasons.Give or take the inaccuracies of reported history, Jesus was 33 when he ascended. My late friend was also 33 when he ascended. And a small part of me had come to anticipate that this too could be my …

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by Irene Ephraim December 17, 2021

CAN YOU HEAR YOURSELF?

The constant chatter is overwhelming. One person says this, another person says that. Your mum says it’s this way, your brother says it’s the other. Then there’s the people who love to be contrarian with no actual thoughts of their own, just adept at piggybacking off what a group of people might agree upon and finding a …

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by Irene Ephraim December 13, 2021

Cloudy With A Chance Of…

One day you’re fine, life is good and the air is filled with prospects that you could almost pluck them like the squiggly lines you see when you look at a blue sky. The following day however, you’re freezing your bits off, your umbrella is inside out and the contents of your bag have just …

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by Irene Ephraim December 6, 2021

The Improbable Is Still Possible 

Improbable–not likely to be true or to happen.I saw a TikTok of a guy doing the improbable. Getting two basketballs into a hoop using a crutch, throwing a CD into a moving Wii console, releasing ping pong balls with the aim of reaching various points and so on.   It was fascinating to watch. In a different …

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by Irene Ephraim December 2, 2021December 2, 2021

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Rest

17 Tuesday Mar 2020

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Life, Thoughts in motion

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2019, 2020, belief, Better, Break, Coronavirus, Gift, History, opportunity, Overcome, Pandemic, Present, Rest, self love, Self-care, Utilise, Victory

bb2e38e2-24fb-43d6-a9e6-9fcca9f55e49Well that went left very quickly.

2019 was what I considered to be the year of the purge. It felt like we were going through a spiritual and physical transformation in preparation for the new decade, and I accepted that, however, I don’t think whatever that period was meant to teach us stuck, so here we are.

The universe has given us a clear indication of what is necessary and we should take heed. We are being called to take the best care we’ve ever taken of ourselves, of others and the earth we live in. It is time to chill.

Granted, the world is in a frenzy, but you don’t have to be. This period, should you choose to see it this way, can be a beautiful opportunity for you to regenerate, to bond, to develop, and ultimately alter the way you see and do things going forward, for the better.

My belief, albeit contrary to what is currently happening, is that 2020 is going to be an incredible year, as we will become 10 times the person we were before, we just have to do our bit.

Naturally, as with most things and considering the circumstances, there will be loss, sacrifice, heartbreak and hard times, but it won’t last and we will get through it as best as we can, like we always do.

So stay indoors, keep healthy, take the necessary precautions, check on your loved ones and neighbours, help out wherever possible and rest.

xo

I Could, I Should, I Might?

08 Friday Feb 2019

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Experiences, Lessons Learnt, Life, More Action

≈ 2 Comments

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Aha Moment, Apartment, belief, Better, Black Coffee, choice, Confusion, decision, Direction, energy, fear, growth, House, inspire, life, Lipstick, London, Mistakes, Oprah, Progress, progression, Relationships, Rent, Stress

cc5a9b14-ac0b-48cd-87a3-7f751557ba9eI have been doing it so wrong for the past year and I knew better.

Isn’t that the worst? When you know better yet you’re not doing better and for whatever reason you can’t figure it out.

I have had a bunch of things that I wanted to achieve and acquire over the past couple of years which technically isn’t a problem. The distinction here is that I had no clarity on any of it. I would umm and ahh over everything, and I do mean everything.

I couldn’t decide if I was coming or going. Do I want to live in London or Manchester? Do I want to travel to a different country and work there or stay here? Do I want to buy a house or rent one? Do I want live in an apartment or a semi detached house? Do I want this type of job or to not work in this field at all? Do I want to be in a relationship or not? And this conversation continued in almost every area of my life. It stayed that way up until recently when I had a durh or as Oprah would say an ‘aha’ moment.

No wonder I had been stressed out and felt utterly unaccomplished, I had no idea what I truly wanted. I flip flopped out of fear of making a decision that would cost me. I didn’t want to unduly suffer again for a terrible choice I made, but guess what that meant? I didn’t do anything.

I had no clear sense of direction and therefore could not confidently take action towards anything, and that ultimately resulted in little to no result.

The lesson here is if you’re in a period of confusion and not knowing what way to go, just pick one. We spend a lot of time trying to avoid past mistakes but sometimes that leads to inaction and frustration, not to mention wasted energy.

The point of living is to live and that cannot happen if you’re second guessing everything. The only thing happening by doing that is building fear muscles and we certainly don’t want that.

Get clear on what you want and stick to it. It’s almost impossible to move forward without having an idea of what it is you want, how do you expect the universe to help you out when you keep giving her mixed signals?

Take a chance today and make a choice. Even if it doesn’t work out how you imagined, you still would have learned something you didn’t know before and that believe it or not is progression.

Xo

First Impressions

27 Thursday Dec 2018

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Lessons Learnt, Life, Thoughts in motion

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2019, belief, change, fear, First Impression, Guide, Introduction, Love, new year, Patience, power, Relationships, Tongue, words

img_7832Since being away I have been plagued with the tales that I have heard about this country as a child. Sometimes I’m uneasy because of it. I have lived here and loved it but that part, that part never went away.

I can’t seem to shake of those stories that I heard and watched on TV. It hasn’t mattered much that I have never seen proof to support those claims, yet it still invades my mind as if I have lived it. It has affected my experience here and this is simply down to how they introduced the culture to me at age 5 on my first visit.

However, I am challenging those perspectives, as I realise how stupid those beliefs are.

Imagine that?! The things I was shown and told has shaped my thoughts for 26 years! If that’s not a reason to be mindful of first impressions I don’t know what is.

And yes whilst it’s possible to change someone view, but it’s seldom easy to do so. 

The New Year is 5 days away and I’m sure some of us have a few changes we’d like to make. As you make them, please consider how you speak of a thing or person as it has the potential to have a lasting impression that may never shift. Be thoughtful about the words you speak and consider the impact it could have.

Your words are powerful, use them wisely and make the first impression count.

Xo

As If By Magic

17 Wednesday Oct 2018

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Life, Manifest, Thoughts in motion

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Audi, belief, BMW, Car, Hump Day, Imagine, Law of Attraction, Manifest, Manifestation, Stress, Thoughts, Visualise

img_0870

On Monday I asked you to get imaginative, write it down, make it plain and then dispose of it somewhere. Did you do it? Tut, the insolence! I should turn you all into salt, well if I could and maybe if I was God or Medusa but I’m not, so, erm, anyway…There are many different beliefs about manifesting and the law of attraction, and whilst they work, it really isn’t a one size fits all, at least not in my case.

I have tried the “intentional focus on something” and all that happens is me becoming increasingly stressed with little to no results. From memory, everything I deeply wanted and or became “obsessed” with I did not get, whereas the things I’d give very little thought to, voila!

This had always perplexed me until I wrote down my manifestation system earlier on this year. I had to see in writing what I had known worked for me and not focus on what had worked for others. Turns out I have used this system since I were a small child, and can recall many occasions where things materialised in a swift fashion. Maybe you’re like me where the other methods simply don’t work, and if so, here’s a few things I have learned.

1. You have to be relaxed about your want. Any kind of worry, stress, excessive attention will not work.

2. Do not be attached to the outcome. It is very easy to miss what is for you by clinging onto an ideal.

3. You can absolutely act on your desire, but again you must employ point 1 & 2 (see example below).

4. You mustn’t obsess about it.

5. Be open. Not everything we think we want do we actually want.

6. Continue on with your daily life.

In November 2014 a friend and I walked into the Audi dealership to look at the cars. I wanted a new car but didn’t have the means to purchase it, I simply went to look. I test drove the Audi A3, liked it and that was that.

I mentioned to another friend on the 20th December 2014 that I wanted to get a BMW 1 Series. Again, no means, just putting it out there.

On the 27th December 2014 (window shopping again, I’m great at that), I left a dealership with a BMW 1 series without having spent any of my own money, ha! I had gone there with a credit card, my fair credit score, my mother, boyfriend, courage and hope.

My mother put a substantial amount of money down and the rest would be on me for the next 2 years. Huh?! How? I said I. Did. Not. Have. The. Means?!

I wasn’t expecting her to be involved, I had just turned 27, I’m grown, I can do bad all by myself, I wasn’t asking for a thing! She and my boyfriend at the time were only accompanying me as people do with things like this, and yet here I was leaving with a car that I hadn’t paid for.

Looking back, what I did was;

i) knew I wanted a new car ii) didn’t know how I’d get it, iii) put myself in a position to see me driving the car iv) didn’t stress myself about it, v) the vehicle in which I would receive it showed up vi) drove off into the sunset…okay it was night time and during the winter, same difference (lol).

I have plenty other examples where I have practiced as above and it happens, and a number of instances where I was super focused and very little happened.

I want to be clear here, manifesting isn’t solely about material things, its everything; mindset, people, healing, and so on. Also, it does not discriminate, it can work for both positive and negative things, so be mindful.

img_2991Give it a go. I might do a series on this because there’s levels to it. Maybe the next one will be on how I jumped out of a plane.

Yup, this is me on the 17th December 2016 (my birthday), I screamed like a lil’ bitch for the first few seconds ha! but that’s a story for another time.

Xo

Make Believe

15 Monday Oct 2018

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Experiences, Life, More Action

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

belief, children, Create, imagination, inspiration, Law of Attraction, life, Make Believe, Manifestation, Monday, Radio, TV

Welcome to class folks. Today’s assignment is to make believe again. 

As kids we were encouraged to write stories, be creative and imagine, fast forward to being adults its “be serious, stop fooling around, you’re not a kid anymore”. Huh? How? Why?

Make believe is in my opinion a very necessary part of creating life itself. Everything we see was once a part of someone’s imagination.

I think about planes flying, watching images on TV or listening to sound on the radio and it blows my mind. These were things once unseen and unheard of, which have now become a part of our everyday life. I want us to get back to that, that space of make believe first before anything else.

And we can do this from where we are and at any time. You can imagine whatever you like, whether it exists or not, and then write it down and make it plain, even if it is only to be witnessed by you. Look past your current circumstances and freely create. Once you have, let it go. Yup, you heard me, let it go, forget about it, put it somewhere you won’t necessarily come across it every day.

Yes I know it sounds a little batty but humour me, and on Wednesday I’ll go into further details and give you my personal manifestation system (I sound like a wizard, I’m not, but it works).

Speak to you then xo

 

Why I’m No Longer Sharing

13 Saturday Oct 2018

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Experiences, Life, Relationships

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

belief, Example, friendships, Heart, lifestyle, Love, Men, Mindset, Model, Relationships, self, Women, writer

img_0985From this day forward I am no sharing with friends.

Whenever I find out something new, useful or potentially life changing, I am quick to share it with the people close to me. I want them to do good too, I want them to know what’s possible, I want them to believe in themselves more. I share so they can know what’s happening in the hopes that they’ll concede but alas they do not.

Of course, I don’t know everything, however, I do know a thing or two about certain subject matters and with that I always want to give.

But after a few failed attempts at ‘helping’, I have decided to stop. I am no longer sharing and instead have opted to just show them.

As the saying goes the proof is the pudding and sometimes there is nothing more effective than others being able to see the results for themselves.

So if you, like me, have found yourself in the position where your words are falling by the wayside, stop talking, just do it and do it well.

Xo

Life On Your Terms

20 Thursday Sep 2018

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Love, Thoughts in motion

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belief, happiness, joy, life, living, London, Love, Marriage, Men, Motivation, Relationships, Self-care, value, Women

img_4076

I just feel like you NEED to see my face lol. Vain much? Maybe…

Good morning!

I really hope you’re doing well.

I wanted to drop a quick note and ask a question: are you living life on your own terms? To elaborate a little more, is the life you’re living yours by design or other peoples design? And really think about that answer.

Over the past few months, I have been steadily unlearning a lot of ideals and thoughts that have been ingrained in me through the various paradigms I operate in, to sift out one that is actually authentically me, and doing so has made me happier and freer. I am now consciously making my own mind up about things and the (self)inflicted pressure has significantly reduced.

I realised that when I strip away everything, I already have everything that is truly important to me like a roof over my head, my family is alive and very well, a means to earn money to sustain my life, a life that I am falling more in love with, and the list goes on…all because I decided to detach myself from what is supposed to be.

You can experience this new level of freedom which will empower you to actually do more of what you love by simply asking yourself, is this really me? And if you discover that it isn’t, work through that to find what is.

Everyone’s mission in life is different and to think we should all be doing and have the same things by a set time is utterly absurd.

I’ll give you an example and I use this one because there is a huge obsession with it in this society, love.

For as long as I can remember women have been conditioned to be reliant on a man for love and value, which is damaging on so many levels.

I am constantly asked by people I know and don’t know about having a partner, which for a long period made me feel a certain way. Almost as if my life could not be fulfilling if I didn’t have one and that this was the pinnacle for a woman. They often inferred and sometimes said ‘that there must be something wrong with me’. At a point I believed them and took a long hard look at myself and altered my behaviour so I could fit. Ha. It didn’t work.

The plan for me was never to fit in, but because of the words I kept hearing (which builds faith, faith comes by hearing), I believed them over myself and what I felt. Big mistake and it cost me.

Through detaching myself from this conditioning, I have been able to replace it with one that gives to myself over and over and over again. By me for me.

Now I’m not saying burn everything and move to a remote area and don’t want or need anyone, not at all, we need connections, they help us thrive, my suggestion is simply that when you make decisions about your life, make sure it is by you for you.

Xo

The Single Life

12 Sunday Nov 2017

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Experiences, Love, Relationships

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belief, dating, Desires, life, Love, relationship, Single, Sunday

Navigating through life certainly has its ups and downs and I am starting to think that with some things there is no right or wrong, only better.

In keeping with the theme of other posts this week, I thought I’d share 2 things single (and non-single) people should do before entering or considering a relationship.

Now before you give me the side-eye about this, yes I am single, however I’ve had a fair bit of experience to know what has worked and not worked for me. We know by now that desperation doesn’t work and is at the top of the ‘Do not do’ list.

There’s no point in entering into an unhealthy and unedifying relationship for the sake of not being alone or keeping up with the status quo. When we get into one, although it might be challenging, we want it to match our fly and be everything we’ve ever imagined it could be. To get this we have to be right ourselves.

So, let’s get into this list.

  1. Know thy self. What knowing yourself does is set the standards you have for your life. It means you’d know bullshit when you see it, you’d know when something is right for you and when it’s not and you will not compromise on what it is you want just because it seems like it’s not happening yet. In other words, knowing yourself is knowing your power and because of this you are intentional in creating the world and life you want to live. Knowing yourself builds confidence in how and what you do with your life, for example, if someone comes along and says you’ll never amount to anything, you’d be able to laugh at them as you know who you are, what you’re capable of and they do not determine what that looks like, you do. You can also see your ex’s recent engagement and not be moved by it, because you know what is for you is for you. Getting to this level of surety does require a large amount of introspection and a lot of work, it’s definitely not an overnight stint. When you don’t know yourself, you’ll easily accept anything and everything that comes your way, when you do, you won’t- Don’t play yourself.

 

  1. Work on yourself. Focus on the things that you know has been harmful to you or that can be improved upon. For a while I had it in my head that I’d always be alone or that I’m the black sheep. The reason this became a belief system is because I was constantly questioned as to why I am single and made to feel (or should I say I allowed them to) like there was something wrong with me. I soon accepted it as gospel. I have since spent time changing the rhetoric that I have repeated to myself for years and replaced it with one that believes in myself more and trusts my intuition. What if you don’t know what needs to be worked on? Here’s one hint, stop ignoring the little voice telling you there is something wrong here, as I often say to my friend ‘unpack’ it, meaning examine/learn the root cause. Whatever your beliefs are will be mirrored in your life, nothing is by mistake, we are all creators after all…let that marinate.

Doing these two things alone is sure to bring you much more of what you want. Okay granted, its not that simple or straightforward but simply becoming more aware of yourself is a great start in itself and things will evolve as time passes.

The journey is worth it.

Xo

As A Wo/Man Thinketh- Part 2

14 Wednesday Sep 2016

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Life, Thoughts in motion

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belief, blogger, change, Motivation, Speaker, think, Thought, writer

I have written on this topic before but it’s well overdue a revisit. You can check my first post here.

I take the word thinketh to interchangeably mean belief also.

I started rereading ‘As A Man Thinketh’ by James Allen, and I promise you as I was going over the words, it was as if I had unlocked a new level in a game. The gates of heaven opened in my mind and I got it, intrinsically, I got it.

Many people do not understand the gravity of this ability, and how deeply it governs your entire existence, did you hear me? Your entire existence!

You cannot have two masters, its impossible to serve them both, one will suffer significantly over the other. Ill repeat that, you cannot have two masters, it’s impossible to serve them both, one will suffer significantly over the other.

You ever have your mum and dad give you conflicting information?

Mum: Sure, you have those cookies

Dad: Don’t you touch those cookies

You’re standing there looking from face to face conflicted, like “what do I do?” You have to do one of them isn’t it? And whichever one you do, bears fruits of its own. If you take the cookie, you’ll enjoy it and your mother will be satisfied, yet the very opposite if you don’t, the same is for your thoughts and beliefs.

You cannot think one thing, believe something else and then expect them both to work. Only one can take precedent. It is very possible for you to do lip service, ill give you an example. I have been writing a book for a while now and I have a few thoughts and beliefs on the success of it and they are as follows:

  1. It will positively impact hundreds and thousands of people and the readers will find the information incredibly valuable.
  2. I have never written a book before, it is the most difficult thing I have ever attempted to do.
  3. Who would want to read my book? When I don’t have a huge following, it is difficult to increase readership on my blog as it is, my friends and family do not support me, no one supports me (not true), if i can’t get people to be interested now, how and why would they be interested later?

Guess which ones have been triumphing in my life? Go on take a wild guess.Over the past couple years, point 2 & 3 have been the more prominent thoughts, even though I still believe in my service and product. Effectively what it means is it will take me much longer to get ‘there’,than if point 1 was the ruling belief.

If I strongly believed in the capabilities of my product and value in my words over the thoughts that it is difficult and no one would care, the book would have been published. People would have the opportunity right now as I write, to purchase it or read it, but as that has not been the case, no book. See how much it can affect your life? or in this case my life? I am definitely working on this one figuratively and literally!

Challenge your belief system.

Really search yourself and assess whether what you say and think is in line with what you actually believe or even want to believe. Typically what you say is what you think, and if it’s what you think then it is generally in line with what you believe.

What you believe, you will receive.

If after your introspection you realise that hold on? What I believe and what I thought I believed are not in alignment, change it! You can start by counteracting that contradictory thought with a new one that you deeply want to believe, by reinforcing it with images, words,by being around people who are the personification of that belief. You have to reconfigure your audio and visual settings with a new and more revitalized one.

I make it my business to feed my mind, eyes and my ears with the things that compliment and agree with my belief, if it is not in alignment I automatically switch off, nope not interested. I especially do this when I start to feel doubtful.

Your investments go into what you believe, if you think you will not be successful, guess what? You will not do things to be successful; you’ll do quite the opposite. If you think you’ll always be broke, you will not work on ways to improve that, it wouldn’t matter if you received a million pounds, if your belief system doesn’t change, trust me, you’ll soon be broke, again. If you think your voice doesn’t matter, you will not speak up. If you think you’re talentless, you will not work on the talent that you do have. If you think lowly of yourself, you will not have any respect from the people you interact with. If you think you do not deserve happiness, you will not take the measures to experience it. If you think that job is out of your league, you will not apply for it because you don’t believe you have a chance, you get my drift…

So the next time you think of doing something, remember that how you think is how you act and how you act is what you attract.

Its time for some reevaluation.

XO

Ps There is no ps

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Why Didn’t You Warn Me?!

Why Didn't You Warn Me?!

Why Didn't You Warn Me?! is a podcast speaking on the things you should know, but don't. The things you typically find out after the fact, and it's sometimes too late. Fear not, Why Didn't You Warn Me?! with Irene aka Lipstick, will give you the 411 through story-telling, conversations, and refreshing perspectives.

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