Tag Archives: belief

Life On Your Terms

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I just feel like you NEED to see my face lol. Vain much? Maybe…

Good morning!

I really hope you’re doing well.

I wanted to drop a quick note and ask a question: are you living life on your own terms? To elaborate a little more, is the life you’re living yours by design or other peoples design? And really think about that answer.

Over the past few months, I have been steadily unlearning a lot of ideals and thoughts that have been ingrained in me through the various paradigms I operate in, to sift out one that is actually authentically me, and doing so has made me happier and freer. I am now consciously making my own mind up about things and the (self)inflicted pressure has significantly reduced.

I realised that when I strip away everything, I already have everything that is truly important to me like a roof over my head, my family is alive and very well, a means to earn money to sustain my life, a life that I am falling more in love with, and the list goes on…all because I decided to detach myself from what is supposed to be.

You can experience this new level of freedom which will empower you to actually do more of what you love by simply asking yourself, is this really me? And if you discover that it isn’t, work through that to find what is.

Everyone’s mission in life is different and to think we should all be doing and have the same things by a set time is utterly absurd.

I’ll give you an example and I use this one because there is a huge obsession with it in this society, love.

For as long as I can remember women have been conditioned to be reliant on a man for love and value, which is damaging on so many levels.

I am constantly asked by people I know and don’t know about having a partner, which for a long period made me feel a certain way. Almost as if my life could not be fulfilling if I didn’t have one and that this was the pinnacle for a woman. They often inferred and sometimes said ‘that there must be something wrong with me’. At a point I believed them and took a long hard look at myself and altered my behaviour so I could fit. Ha. It didn’t work.

The plan for me was never to fit in, but because of the words I kept hearing (which builds faith, faith comes by hearing), I believed them over myself and what I felt. Big mistake and it cost me.

Through detaching myself from this conditioning, I have been able to replace it with one that gives to myself over and over and over again. By me for me.

Now I’m not saying burn everything and move to a remote area and don’t want or need anyone, not at all, we need connections, they help us thrive, my suggestion is simply that when you make decisions about your life, make sure it is by you for you.

Xo

The Single Life

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Posted by in Experiences, love, relationships

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Navigating through life certainly has its ups and downs and I am starting to think that with some things there is no right or wrong, only better.

In keeping with the theme of other posts this week, I thought I’d share 2 things single (and non-single) people should do before entering or considering a relationship.

Now before you give me the side-eye about this, yes I am single, however I’ve had a fair bit of experience to know what has worked and not worked for me. We know by now that desperation doesn’t work and is at the top of the ‘Do not do’ list.

There’s no point in entering into an unhealthy and unedifying relationship for the sake of not being alone or keeping up with the status quo. When we get into one, although it might be challenging, we want it to match our fly and be everything we’ve ever imagined it could be. To get this we have to be right ourselves.

So, let’s get into this list.

  1. Know thy self. What knowing yourself does is set the standards you have for your life. It means you’d know bullshit when you see it, you’d know when something is right for you and when it’s not and you will not compromise on what it is you want just because it seems like it’s not happening yet. In other words, knowing yourself is knowing your power and because of this you are intentional in creating the world and life you want to live. Knowing yourself builds confidence in how and what you do with your life, for example, if someone comes along and says you’ll never amount to anything, you’d be able to laugh at them as you know who you are, what you’re capable of and they do not determine what that looks like, you do. You can also see your ex’s recent engagement and not be moved by it, because you know what is for you is for you. Getting to this level of surety does require a large amount of introspection and a lot of work, it’s definitely not an overnight stint. When you don’t know yourself, you’ll easily accept anything and everything that comes your way, when you do, you won’t- Don’t play yourself.

 

  1. Work on yourself. Focus on the things that you know has been harmful to you or that can be improved upon. For a while I had it in my head that I’d always be alone or that I’m the black sheep. The reason this became a belief system is because I was constantly questioned as to why I am single and made to feel (or should I say I allowed them to) like there was something wrong with me. I soon accepted it as gospel. I have since spent time changing the rhetoric that I have repeated to myself for years and replaced it with one that believes in myself more and trusts my intuition. What if you don’t know what needs to be worked on? Here’s one hint, stop ignoring the little voice telling you there is something wrong here, as I often say to my friend ‘unpack’ it, meaning examine/learn the root cause. Whatever your beliefs are will be mirrored in your life, nothing is by mistake, we are all creators after all…let that marinate.

Doing these two things alone is sure to bring you much more of what you want. Okay granted, its not that simple or straightforward but simply becoming more aware of yourself is a great start in itself and things will evolve as time passes.

The journey is worth it.

Xo

As A Wo/Man Thinketh- Part 2

14 Wednesday Sep 2016

Posted by in Life, Thoughts in motion

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I have written on this topic before but it’s well overdue a revisit. You can check my first post here.

I take the word thinketh to interchangeably mean belief also.

I started rereading ‘As A Man Thinketh’ by James Allen, and I promise you as I was going over the words, it was as if I had unlocked a new level in a game. The gates of heaven opened in my mind and I got it, intrinsically, I got it.

Many people do not understand the gravity of this ability, and how deeply it governs your entire existence, did you hear me? Your entire existence!

You cannot have two masters, its impossible to serve them both, one will suffer significantly over the other. Ill repeat that, you cannot have two masters, it’s impossible to serve them both, one will suffer significantly over the other.

You ever have your mum and dad give you conflicting information?

Mum: Sure, you have those cookies

Dad: Don’t you touch those cookies

You’re standing there looking from face to face conflicted, like “what do I do?” You have to do one of them isn’t it? And whichever one you do, bears fruits of its own. If you take the cookie, you’ll enjoy it and your mother will be satisfied, yet the very opposite if you don’t, the same is for your thoughts and beliefs.

You cannot think one thing, believe something else and then expect them both to work. Only one can take precedent. It is very possible for you to do lip service, ill give you an example. I have been writing a book for a while now and I have a few thoughts and beliefs on the success of it and they are as follows:

  1. It will positively impact hundreds and thousands of people and the readers will find the information incredibly valuable.
  2. I have never written a book before, it is the most difficult thing I have ever attempted to do.
  3. Who would want to read my book? When I don’t have a huge following, it is difficult to increase readership on my blog as it is, my friends and family do not support me, no one supports me (not true), if i can’t get people to be interested now, how and why would they be interested later?

Guess which ones have been triumphing in my life? Go on take a wild guess.Over the past couple years, point 2 & 3 have been the more prominent thoughts, even though I still believe in my service and product. Effectively what it means is it will take me much longer to get ‘there’,than if point 1 was the ruling belief.

If I strongly believed in the capabilities of my product and value in my words over the thoughts that it is difficult and no one would care, the book would have been published. People would have the opportunity right now as I write, to purchase it or read it, but as that has not been the case, no book. See how much it can affect your life? or in this case my life? I am definitely working on this one figuratively and literally!

Challenge your belief system.

Really search yourself and assess whether what you say and think is in line with what you actually believe or even want to believe. Typically what you say is what you think, and if it’s what you think then it is generally in line with what you believe.

What you believe, you will receive.

If after your introspection you realise that hold on? What I believe and what I thought I believed are not in alignment, change it! You can start by counteracting that contradictory thought with a new one that you deeply want to believe, by reinforcing it with images, words,by being around people who are the personification of that belief. You have to reconfigure your audio and visual settings with a new and more revitalized one.

I make it my business to feed my mind, eyes and my ears with the things that compliment and agree with my belief, if it is not in alignment I automatically switch off, nope not interested. I especially do this when I start to feel doubtful.

Your investments go into what you believe, if you think you will not be successful, guess what? You will not do things to be successful; you’ll do quite the opposite. If you think you’ll always be broke, you will not work on ways to improve that, it wouldn’t matter if you received a million pounds, if your belief system doesn’t change, trust me, you’ll soon be broke, again. If you think your voice doesn’t matter, you will not speak up. If you think you’re talentless, you will not work on the talent that you do have. If you think lowly of yourself, you will not have any respect from the people you interact with. If you think you do not deserve happiness, you will not take the measures to experience it. If you think that job is out of your league, you will not apply for it because you don’t believe you have a chance, you get my drift…

So the next time you think of doing something, remember that how you think is how you act and how you act is what you attract.

Its time for some reevaluation.

XO

Ps There is no ps

The One…

22 Monday Aug 2016

Posted by in Experiences, Less Talk, Life, More Action, Thoughts in motion

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Ha! You thought I was going to write about that special person? Nuh uh, not today. Although I am going to speak about being “the one”, the one who can make a difference.

We severely underestimate the effect we can have in our environment, in our lives, on the people around us, to a situation, to a task, in our families, with our friends, to anything, and as a consequence we act accordingly and do nothing instead.

No sense in trying if you believe that your input will not make a difference right? WRONG! Every little thing is quantifiable and in a great way too.

We think of it as being someone else’s gift or power, and that we are somehow void of any kind of talent or gifts. You look at all the other people who achieved things and deem them as being “special” or the “chosen one”, what a load of nonsense!

EVERYONE has something to offer, you just need to understand that what you have will not be everyone’s cup of tea, and that’s perfectly fine. It doesn’t mean you’re less valuable or necessary.

I sometimes get caught up in thinking that I am not enough that I need more. More resources, more connections, more friends, more money, more experience, a bigger audience, someone to believe in me, a team…Yes, the list is endless.

I have to stop and remind myself that I am well equipped to do it, whatever it is. I have to believe that what I need, will find me along the way. The most crucial element however, is that I begin and that I begin now!

Mo Farrah, Adele, Simone Manuel, Bill Gates, Usain Bolt, Elon Musk, Oprah, Serena Williams, Naomi Campbell, Jamal Edwards, Yeonmi Park, Richard Branson, Jack Ma are a handful of people that I am certain have been told numerous times that they won’t amount to much, that they have nothing to offer, that their background determines who they can be and so on, yet I know every single one of them because of their gifts and their story.

They chose to press forward notwithstanding the negativity and the obstacles and because of that, we have the pleasure of learning from them, being inspired by them or using their services and products, so don’t you dare think for one second that you are not capable!

Nothing will come to you if you sit in your house mopping or continuing on with mundanity of life, you have to switch it up and try something new. Opportunity or a chance to stimulate change will not come knocking on your door. You have to get out there and do something. Your action jump-starts a series of chain reactions of hopefully better things to come.

Believe in yourself, nothing is too small or too big, every little helps.

All it takes is one person and why can’t it be you?

Change the conversation…now

18 Monday Jul 2016

Posted by in Less Talk, Life, More Action, Thoughts in motion

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We are what we eat.

What we think about, we bring about.

What goes in, must come out.

The theme here is, whatever is going on inside will reflect on your outside world.

What are the things that you believe and think about yourself deep down inside? Those are the exact things that are ruling your existence.

You think positively and are mindful about what you say, yet things are not improving. Well, maybe it’s time you really take a closer look about what you truly think about yourself and your life.

Your life is reflection of the level of self-love you have. This could not be more true.

For example, putting in the work for your dreams to materialize. How much time do you spend doing it? Do you really believe it can happen for you? You want to travel the world, are you making plans for this to happen? You hate the job you’re in, have you looked at applications for your ideal position? Your relationship has broken down and there is no going back, isn’t it time for you to have that difficult conversation?

We often times self-sabotage because we truly don’t feel like it will happen for us, that we are deserving and have the power to change things. We might think it could happen, but we do not believe it will and therefore we act accordingly- We cannot have two masters, that is, where what you think and what you believe are different, one must take precedent.

Why would you leave your terrible partner, if you don’t believe you will have someone who treats you how you want to be treated? Might as well keep the one you have, it’s better than nothing right?

Why would you leave your hated job, if you believe that the next potential employer will think you are under qualified, might as well stay where you are, after all it pays the bills right?

Why would you travel the world, if you believe you will not have the money and end up homeless, I mean none of your friends have such aspirations and have settled for the okey doke, might as well join them, right?

Why would you eat healthier, if you believe you’ll never reach your goal weight, everyone in your family is overweight, unhealthy, and has a multitude of health issues, you are bound to suffer the same, it’s in your DNA, no point in even trying is there?

In fact, why would you do anything at all that you don’t believe in? The answer is you won’t.

Whatever you believe, will be real to you. How do we change the conversation? We change it with action. Follow each new and positive thought with an immediate action that is in alignment with that new thinking or belief. So if you want to eat healthier, write down a list of healthy foods you are going to buy the next time you go shopping. If you are aiming for a new role, download the application form and start filling it in. If you want to attract certain people, go to those places where they are. If you need to release someone from your life, send that text or email to say “we need to talk”, whatever it is, believe in yourself and that you are capable of working it out for your own good.

It takes a lot of courage to change your life, it is no easy feat, but with perseverance, action and commitment, it will get better.

Repetition is the mother of skill. Thought/Belief + action = results. It doesn’t have to be great huge steps, baby ones will make just as much difference in the long run.

Quieten the naysayers in your head, with a new belief backed up with action, repeated over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over…get it?

 

 

Anthony Joshua: Chat **** Get Banged!

13 Monday Jun 2016

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Every Monday for the next four weeks, I am going to write about someone who inspires me.

Anthony Joshua is the first up.

I have been saying for months now that AJ (that’s what I call him because we’re friends init) has to be in my circle. Is that weird? Nah, not to me, listen if you don’t ask, you don’t get, stranger things have happened.

Why Anthony? Well in the two years I have known about him, he has made huge strides in his career.

From a delinquent teen, to an Olympic Gold Medalist, father and IBF Heavyweight World Champion, he has accomplished a lot in a short space of time.

As someone who has dabbled in boxing myself for fitness purposes only, I am massive fan of people who are able to exercise self-control over a period of time to achieve a goal, its attractive, motivating.

Anthony has shown his commitment to bettering his life and the life of his family. He is disciplined as evidenced by his spectacular physique and titles, and we know, this is no small feat.

He has put the work in, just take a look at his hands, they reveal the blood, sweat and I’m sure at one point, tears that he has shed.

What’s equally as impressive as his aesthetics is that behind it, is a powerful and mastered mind, don’t believe me? Watch this vid https://youtu.be/K1HydHBjJeo

With his commanding presence, one might expect him to throw his weight about and be ostentatious, but he’s quite the opposite.  His genuine humility makes him even more likeable.

Of British and Nigerian descent, yup this makes me proud…and the best part, he’s just getting started.

Mr chat sh*t get banged next’s fight is on the 25th June facing Dominic Breazeale, what he is now calling the ‘KO Show’. Will you be watching?

Oh one last tidbit, I’ve noticed a direct correlation between successful people and exercise. A lot of them do it in one form or fashion.

What exercise does for the body is nothing in comparison for what it does for the mind. If you don’t already exercise, do yourself a good deed and start. It can be walking, jogging, weight lifting, the gym, an activity, anything that is physically challenging will do the trick, so far as you’re pushing your limits on a regular basis.

Train the body, strengthen the mind.

Mic Check 1, 2, 1, 2

19 Wednesday Nov 2014

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7 weeks left till the end of the year, what?! Is it me or does it feel like the older you get, the faster things move? Everything seems to be moving at an alarming rate, so I just wanted to check in with you…

At the start of every year we all make promises and resolutions that we swear to stand by and see through, but for some of us that energy and fervency soon wanes and we are back to our regular old selves, annoying right?

Why does it happen? Why does it feel impossible to stick something out to the point of seeing results?

Here’s why I think that is, you just didn’t want it bad enough nor did you believe it was possible, period. Recall a time you wanted something that you eventually got, what did you do in order to achieve it? Like the saying goes when there’s a will there’s a way. I truly believe that whatever you want is attainable as long as you want it. Ok pause, by wanting it, is not to merely wish for it, but for it to incite you to take action, and to take action repeatedly, until results are achieved. Nothing else exists but that thing; if you have not reached this point then it most certainly will be evident in your life.

It is important to acknowledge that whatever you don’t have is because of what you didn’t do. You can’t talk about the body you desire when you sit there and stuff your face all day, or moan about being in debt yet you do nothing to try and change the outcome and instead continue on with the same habits that caused you to be in debt in the first place.

I keep saying this over and over again because I sincerely believe that your outlook on your life will significantly affect the kind of choices you make.

For example, if you always see yourself as being broke even though you receive a regular decent income, you will always find a way to be broke and I’ll tell you why. For starters you keep professing it to yourself and the world that you never have any money (ergh please stop), secondly, because of the first point, this consistent thought process has now become a belief, and thirdly if you have a belief guess what? You’ll act on it-It’s straight forward.

Being “broke” means to lack and indicates something needs fixing. It is how you see money which affects how you use it. “ My money always goes on bills, I never have enough, I’m always broke” such statements (which is a reflection of your belief)  produces the reality that you live in. Sometimes it’s a matter of seeing the glass half full rather than half empty.

I’ll give you another example. I remember watching Lauryn Hill on YouTube some years ago, on ‘Live at the Apollo’. She was thirteen at the time and during her performance, was booed by the audience. I could not believe it! Firstly, because she didn’t sound that great (yes I know she was 13 etc…) but secondly and more importantly, the fact that she didn’t stop singing when she was booed. Lauryn believed in herself so much that those boo’s didn’t mean anything, they might as well have been clapping the whole way through for all she cared. Just imagine what that could do to anyone’s confidence? But it didn’t stop her. Her belief in herself and her ability pushed her to get better and improve, she had her will and she found a way through her desire and belief. I think it is fair to say, that she has produced some of the best music of our generation.

Your perceptions/beliefs govern your life and the way you lead it.

So a few things to remember:

It is not too late to start up, over or pick up from where you left off. Many people wait for the New Year to start a new life. In theory that is fine, but what happens between now and the New Year? Will you continue on with the same old? A lot can happen overnight not to mention in a few weeks, so bare that in mind while you ‘wait’.

Focus your energy on one thing at a time. Dividing your focus means dividing your energy and will effectively create moderate results. Think of it as a bank, if you deposit a little, you get a little back, if you deposit a lot, well you know the rest.

Last but not least, use what you have! People spend way too much time waiting for an opportunity or the right resources to come along. There are assets all around that are at your disposal, be uninhibited and you will find it.

When you want to improve your life there are no quick fixes!

Signed LBC