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Acceptance, Boyfriend, freedom, Girlfriend, growth, Know, Love, Marriage, Mental Health, relationship, Rich, Self-care, self-esteem, Self-Worth, value
Works like a charm. Every time I openly confess my feelings about something, freedom follows. Give it a go, release your feelings and it need not be public but it must be seen by you. When you release the feelings, it no longer owns you and keeps you captive.
Back to today’s post.
It’s so easy for someone to say ‘love yourself, value yourself, have self worth’, and the rest of it, when the reality of doing that is obscure to most of us. What school can we go to to learn this exactly? Many of us do not have a clue what that means or how to even begin to do that.
I’ll break it down from my perspective, you may have yours and I’d love to hear it too!
Before you can begin to love or value yourself, you first have to know yourself.
Think about it, how can you love or see value in what you don’t know or understand? It’s near impossible. Do we love complete strangers at first glance? Typically no and that’s what some of us are, strangers to ourselves.
We don’t know what we like or don’t like, what makes us excited, what makes us happy, what makes us angry, what we will or will not do, our limits, our beliefs and so on. How then will it be possible to love yourself if you don’t know who you are?
Therefore rule no 1: Know Thyself.
To do this, spend time monitoring your thoughts, what and how you do things and the interactions and impact you have with/on people. Do things you haven’t done before, and revisit things you used to enjoy doing.
The aim is to put yourself in a position to get reacquainted with yourself, and in some ways discover more of who you are.
For example, I know if something scares the crap out of me, thinking about it is not going to make it better. In fact I have to do the complete opposite and not think about it and just do it. That’s what happened when I jumped out of a plane, when I travelled to a different country for the first time alone, when I started this blog, when I attended university, when I left various jobs, you get my drift. Things get done when I get up & do it. I know this about me because I’ve watched how I respond to things. And guess what? the things I think about in excess seldom get done as I am the king of rationalising the hell out of something. In knowing this I am better equipped to maintain the most important relationship I have, which is with myself.
It’s only when you know more of who you are both in the good and not so good that you can begin to appreciate the essence of who you are and have an understanding of how you can then love yourself.
A few ways I love myself are:
1. Removing limitations with the things I desire
2. Being kind to myself and reaffirming the goodness in me whenever I feel low and ugly (yes I have ugly days).
3. Exercising discipline in areas that I desire to be improved upon (I checked my credit score yesterday and its in the 900’s, I could scream and yes I worked for it!).
4. Being still.
5. Having nice quality things and surrounding myself around good people.
6. Maintaining the standards that I have set for myself.
7. Saying no.
8. Saying yes.
Loving yourself isn’t only about physical self care, it’s also about accepting who you are and doing the work to improve the things that could be better.
What are your thoughts?
Xo
lipstickandblackcoffee 