• Home
  • About
  • A Little Bit of Love
    • Manifest
    • Travel
    • Dreams
    • Relationships
    • Thoughts in motion
    • Experiences
    • Less Talk
    • Motivation
    • Love
    • More Action
    • Late night
    • Life
  • Why Didn’t You Warn Me?!

lipstickandblackcoffee

~ Be Live It

lipstickandblackcoffee

Tag Archives: care

Advocate For Yourself

Featured

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Experiences, Life

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Adulthood, Advocate, Boundaries, care, Childhood, Gabor Mate, Nature, Nurture, Self-care, Wellbeing

I have a picture frame on my chest of drawers, and when I feel like it I change the picture to suit my mood.
This time around I chose a baby picture of myself, and what I saw was my zest for life, excitement and innocence. I was full of promise.
I also saw a little girl that over the years was unprotected, not well supported, disappointed and sad. Perpetually sad.

In that moment I decided that whilst others may not have taken up for me as a child, because of their own things and not having the best tools, I, will take up for me.
I am not child anymore, and although she (I) still needs nurturing, I am now better equipped to give myself the care, support, and gentleness that I need(ed), and advocate for myself.

What does advocating look like for me currently? Advocating for myself is investing in therapy for 3+ years and counting, setting and maintaining boundaries, changing my environment, starting all over again, doing things that bring me joy, shedding old ways, thinking for myself and doing what I want to do, not what society, or family, or friends think I should do, guarding my heart and all my senses, and much much more.

We no longer have to wait for a Knight or Dame in shining armour. The person you have been waiting for is you.
So how will you advocate for yourself?
The beauty of it is, you get to decide how it happens.

Unlearning and learning the things that edify you is never easy and is seldom straightforward, but commit to the process and to designing a life that you not only love, but are proud of.
And as you consider how you will support yourself, the compassion, grace, and care that you often extend to others, gather those things and give it to yourself.

Xo

Adulting- Whose idea was this anyway?

04 Monday Jul 2016

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Life, More Action, Thoughts in motion

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Adulting, blogger, care, change, Destination, experience, growth, Journey, life, Love, Summer, writer

The older I get, the more realise that actually, I don’t like change. Maybe that’s an ‘age’ thing :s. As much as I value growth and evolving, I like it on my own terms and at my own pace. When it’s dictated to me by other things and forces, it throws me for a loop and I contemplate, spitting out my dummy and throwing a tantrum on the supermarket floor. It takes me some time to readjust because I had my heart and mind set on a particular ideal. The end result is that I am exceptionally hard on myself.

I have experienced major changes of late and none of which I have orchestrated, well, I obviously played a part in it, but when I refer to my 5 year plan, errrrhhh yeah this wasn’t in it. Moving house, job, finances, relationships, it’s all one big blur that I’m sifting through.

What I’d really like to do is stop the tape, press rewind and go back to January 2015, and I am being deadly serious lol. Do you ever feel this way?

I learnt recently through my mentor, that I have a habit of not leaving room for ‘life’ to happen when I make my goals/plans. It’s an all or nothing type of situation, which then sends me into a downward spiral when things don’t go accordingly. The underlining trait here is that I am a control freak and I can admit that.

Change is the only thing constant, how do we deal with it when it comes unexpectedly?

I like to use myself as an example on my posts sometimes because I wouldn’t want anyone to think that I am not susceptible to life and its woes- I am, trust me.

Back to the question. Well firstly, you have to get into the ebb and flow of life, the more you resist the inevitable change, the harder it will be for you in the long run. Some things are going to happen with or without your input, you might as well get in line.

Secondly, take some time out to re-evaluate things. Often times we think of things as they could be and not as they are. By that I mean, thinking of the worst case scenarios and hypothesizing and wholly missing out on what’s actually taking place now. Let it go, learn to be creative and form a new utopia with what you have.

Thirdly, whatever has happened has happened. There is little to no sense going over what’s occurred and whose fault it is, it’s thoroughly futile to do that. The only time it is productive to do so, is if it is to find a resolution and not repeat the same mistake, outside of that, leave it alone, move on.

I must reiterate that it IS crucial that you assess the contributions you made to X results so that you can adjust and make improvements. It’s a sure-fire way to cultivate growth.

Lastly and probably most importantly, it’s as much about the journey as it is the destination. Don’t bypass the journey in trance of the destination.

Be here now.

XO

P.s I have not forgotten about my motivational muse on Monday’s, I am preparing them. J

PPS This tone of this post is a bit direct, I can sense it, but believe me when I say it is said out of love and care xoxo

See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil.

24 Thursday Jul 2014

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Life, More Action, Self-Development

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

care, children, death, difference maker, happiness, humanity, life, Love, man, Nelson Mandela, passion, peace, people, share, suffering, voice, war, woman

See no evil, hear no evil and speak no evil.

I made a decision before I started blogging that I would not deviate much from my objective but in this case, I think it is necessary.

I would be the first person to admit that over the past few months, I have actively chosen to ignore the recent happenings in the world, not because I don’t care but because I care too much. It is heart wrenching to watch the terrible happenings over and over and over again without the immediate ability to affect the situation.

If you’ve read my previous posts you’ll know I am strong believer in monitoring what you pay attention to and what you feed your eyes and ears with, as it has the power to shape your life- And with this I showed apathy to these situations.

However, I am at a point where it is no longer acceptable to be voiceless.

It seems that it is only when things of this magnitude happen that we believe in humanity and fight for its preservation. Orchestrating protests and rally’s, making grand statements on our social networks in order to evoke action from our government or others, whilst ignoring our neighbour that has little to eat, being impetuous with our fellow citizens and making a mockery of human life by spewing out hate through our actions or lack thereof…I hope it’s clear where I am going with this.

If it is change you really want to see, start with what is on your doorstep. Now by no means am I saying don’t make a stand for those suffering in other parts of the world, but what I am trying to reiterate is to also make a difference where it will surely count, in your homes, in your communities and in the lives of those you come into contact with.

I sometimes forget that it requires only one person to command change in any environment, just look at Gandhi, Mother Theresa, Bush, Nelson Mandela, and Hitler. They were all forces in the own right, that commanded the attention and action of others and the world at large. Granted, some of these people abused their power but it does not negate the effect that they had on thousands and millions of people. Why can’t it be you for the better?

Let it not be until we hear about that old man at number 46 who died in his home alone without love or care before we feel impassioned for those in close proximity. Every little action counts, you never know how a small conversation with a beggar may inspire them to do better for themselves or the disadvantaged person you assisted in crossing the road, who has now decided against suicide because you showed them kindness.

I remember a few weeks back (and I share this only for the benefit of this topic as personally, I believe such things should be done in silence) a friend and I walked past this pub and there was a lady crying her eyes out just on the corner. I am certain that a number of people had walked past her already. We decided to stop and ask her what was wrong and she proceeded to tell us the dire circumstances of her friend that was in hospital, who happened to be my age. That saddened me. We did what we were led to and bid her farewell and well wishes. Now I may never see this person again but I hope that in that moment, it provided her with some relief to know that she was not completely alone and that someone cared.

Love, kindness, empathy…always

Signed LBC

Ps. Look look look!  Short post. Oh and I know this is lame but evil backwards is live so erm yeah. That has no bearing on anything :s so seeyoubye!

Subscribe

  • Entries (RSS)
  • Comments (RSS)

Archives

  • January 2021
  • December 2020
  • November 2020
  • October 2020
  • September 2020
  • August 2020
  • June 2020
  • May 2020
  • March 2020
  • January 2020
  • December 2019
  • November 2019
  • September 2019
  • August 2019
  • May 2019
  • April 2019
  • March 2019
  • February 2019
  • January 2019
  • December 2018
  • November 2018
  • October 2018
  • September 2018
  • August 2018
  • July 2018
  • June 2018
  • May 2018
  • April 2018
  • March 2018
  • February 2018
  • January 2018
  • December 2017
  • November 2017
  • October 2017
  • September 2017
  • August 2017
  • July 2017
  • June 2017
  • May 2017
  • April 2017
  • March 2017
  • February 2017
  • January 2017
  • December 2016
  • November 2016
  • September 2016
  • August 2016
  • July 2016
  • June 2016
  • May 2016
  • March 2016
  • February 2016
  • January 2016
  • December 2015
  • November 2015
  • October 2015
  • August 2015
  • July 2015
  • June 2015
  • May 2015
  • April 2015
  • March 2015
  • February 2015
  • November 2014
  • October 2014
  • September 2014
  • August 2014
  • July 2014
  • June 2014

Categories

  • Creative Writing
  • Dreams
  • Experiences
  • Fashion and Style
  • Late night
  • Less Talk
  • Lessons Learnt
  • Life
  • Love
  • Manifest
  • More Action
  • Motivation
  • Motivational & Intentional
  • Relationships
  • Self-Development
  • Thoughts in motion
  • Travel
  • Young and Dumb

Meta

  • Register
  • Log in

Blog at WordPress.com.

Cancel