Tag Archives: change

Finishing Strong

13 Friday Dec 2019

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***Updated***

Running

Typically around this time of the year we start to reflect on all that we’ve done. We look at what have achieved and what we haven’t.

We examine closely the things we didn’t get to do and resign to saying ‘2020’ is my year. Pray tell, how will 2020 be any different if you’re not doing anything different? You still think the same, speak the same, act the same, have the same conversations, do the same things and somehow it’ll be…different?

I want you to remember that 2019 isn’t over yet and there is so much we can still do in creating the life we want to live.

Now I don’t have all the answers but I do know a little something that might help. I learnt something recently from my mentor that has helped shape what I do now and it’s this; the work is your habits.

What do your habits say about you and your life? The state of your life is in direct correlation to the habits you have nurtured and practice on a daily basis. For example, if you work out regularly, it’s likely to be evident in your fitness, physique and mentality. Like the saying goes the proof is the pudding.

After a long day at work, like most I just want to plop onto my bed. I don’t want to do any ‘house stuff’ least especially laundry. The clothes are on my bed and I gear up to swiftly push them to the side and curl up on my bed but I pause. What does this act do for me? 1) Fosters laziness and procrastination 2) Increases workload 3) Messy space, messy life 4) Lack of clarity…you see, that ‘little thing’ isn’t worth all that comes with it, so in most cases, I’ll sort it there and then. Everything you do, is mapping out your life.

So, as you go about your daily activities today think about this, what is what I’m about to do say about me and my life? And if you find that the answer is negative, there is your starting point for you to do something about it.

Check your habits and if you don’t like the results it produces, change your habits.

Xo

Seasons

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The weather in London has been amazing! But if you’re from here, you know all too well how fleeting it is, and how eager we all are to enjoy it whilst it’s here.

Seasons. We might not like them but we need them, whether we recognise it or not. Everything has its time. A time to work and a time to relax.

What are you working towards? And is it working for you? Because if not, maybe it’s time for you take a step back and assess what season you’re in.

When we resist what is happening for us, we cause further pain and strife to ourselves.

There is however another option, to stop resisting, relax and get into the flow of your season. I know, it’s difficult to relax when you have these dreams that you need to make happen, which are obviously not going to come on their own, right? Well, not entirely. Sure you have to do something, but notice how things come to you much faster when you’re relaxed, and the urgency isn’t there? You might have even forgotten about the thing itself and suddenly it appears. This is what will happen once you choose to accept versus resist.

I know it’s annoying when things aren’t working how you want it to, but what’s even more frustrating, is trying to force something to happen that is unripe.

If there is something you have been trying too hard at, choose today to relax. Take a deep breath, pull back and then get in tune with the vibration of your life. Pay attention to the things that are happening/working and flow with that, and you’ll soon find that the others things will begin to work itself out.

Xo

Magic? No, Work.

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‘The magic you’re looking for is in the work you are avoiding’. I wish I could refute this statement with all of my might but I can’t.

As a professional work avoider, I know how much (temporary) enjoyment I get from skiving off. That is until the chickens come home to roost.

I also know that doing the work is the actual key to unlocking rewards. And there’s no other way around it.

Usually that piece of work that I avoid becomes easy once I start doing it, then I’m bemused because ‘what was the big deal?, why was I avoiding this?’.

I’d had been procrastinating on writing a business plan for my next venture. When I did get around to it, I realised I had already completed a large portion of it on a previous occasion (I must have been delirious whilst doing it). Oh. So I can do it then.

With the new week upon us, what work have you been running away from? Run towards it. Grab it by the horns and make it your bitc submit to you. You already have what it takes, use it. Even if you don’t know how, start with what you know and things will begin to unfold.

I’m learning that with what you want, you can’t be afraid to work and sometimes work hard, as it is the very thing that will call forth your desires.

Xo

Can You Focus On…Me?

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img_8202It’s the 17th January (already?!) and dare I ask, how is it going?

For some of the people I know it’s been, a bit, bluregh. And a bit bluregh is never a good way to feel. Maybe it’s the January blues or in London the gloomy weather? Whatever it is, as with most things, it’ll soon pass.

On my side it’s been quite slow, which I welcome because I know it’s not going to be like this for much longer.

As tradition dictates, with a new year comes new or refreshed goals. I have some that this time around I’m choosing to keep to myself however, I do have one that above all of them is absolutely necessary in order to meet my goals and that is to focus.

I used to hear as a child that ‘Irene is great and has potential but she lacks focus’, and now as an adult I understand more what they meant by that. I struggle to give a thing my undivided attention, so I’m gifting myself myself and working on improving my focus, little by little.

What are you working on?

My advice for any goals or desires you have is to take each day as it comes. Let things happen organically. I spent a considerable amount of time in the past forcing things to happen and the outcome always left me wanting.

To summarise, work with what works.

Xo

P.s Things will start look up, I promise 🙂

First Impressions

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img_7832Since being away I have been plagued with the tales that I have heard about this country as a child. Sometimes I’m uneasy because of it. I have lived here and loved it but that part, that part never went away.

I can’t seem to shake of those stories that I heard and watched on TV. It hasn’t mattered much that I have never seen proof to support those claims, yet it still invades my mind as if I have lived it. It has affected my experience here and this is simply down to how they introduced the culture to me at age 5 on my first visit.

However, I am challenging those perspectives, as I realise how stupid those beliefs are.

Imagine that?! The things I was shown and told has shaped my thoughts for 26 years! If that’s not a reason to be mindful of first impressions I don’t know what is.

And yes whilst it’s possible to change someone view, but it’s seldom easy to do so. 

The New Year is 5 days away and I’m sure some of us have a few changes we’d like to make. As you make them, please consider how you speak of a thing or person as it has the potential to have a lasting impression that may never shift. Be thoughtful about the words you speak and consider the impact it could have.

Your words are powerful, use them wisely and make the first impression count.

Xo

It’s Not You, It’s Me.

23 Tuesday Jan 2018

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Whenever we take up issue with something or someone else, it is usually an indication of a greater issue that we have going on internally. For example, if you’re jealous of someone else’s looks or life, what that might be saying is that you have low self-esteem and do not see yourself as valuable. There may already be a feeling of inadequacy in existence, which seeing another person further aggravates.  

I recently had a situation where I felt like someone wasn’t as attentive as I would have liked. I worked myself up for days going over the details, but I knew that the issue didn’t really lie with them, it was me. I didn’t feel good enough, I didn’t have great confidence in myself, I didn’t believe I was worthy. During that period I acknowledged that I had some work to do on myself. And no it’s not easy nor does it happen overnight.

You see the problem isn’t always about the other person and what they did, in many instances it’s about us and how we truly feel about ourselves. This is part of the reason why it’s so important to focus on ourselves, because when we shift it onto something or someone else to avoid dealing with the problem, we do ourselves and the people around us a disservice. It’s a disservice because we’re not able to tap into the crux of what is happening, which ultimately shapes our world and the experiences we have. We cannot live at or give our best if we do this. If we don’t address it internally, we can never change it externally. 

So the next time someone’s actions or presence evokes a negative reaction or feeling in you, think about what it is really saying about you, is there something for you to work on? And if so don’t be afraid of it. Broach it with care and take your time, but whatever you do, do not ignore it. 

 Xo

Make Room

16 Tuesday Jan 2018

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I have an iPhone and it feels like every few seconds it tells me ‘Storage almost full’. Seeing this message has become the absolute bane of my life. I then start the process of looking for things to delete in order to create space and what I usually find tends to surprise me. ‘How did this get there?, erm this is useless, I’d never use this again, I have no interest in that, ergh delete’ are the thoughts I have when doing this.

It’s amazing how quickly things take form and become staples in our lives without us even realising it.

It’s crucial that we declutter on a regular basis so that we can make room for the things we really want and need in our lives now. This could be physically in terms of our possessions or mentally in respect of the way we think that no longer serves us and has now unknowingly become a hindrance or the time we afford others, it could be anything. Unfortunately we don’t have a message that pops up to tell us when we’re reaching our capacity and need to offload, but there are other tell tale signs that we can use to our advantage.

Lighten your load by decluttering and make room for what you want.

Xo

“New Year, New Me” Stop Lying!

04 Thursday Jan 2018

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First of all, HAPPY NEW YEAR! However you spent it, I hope it was good for you.

At the start of the year, we’re so strongly convicted of all the things we’re going to do and how this time it’ll be different (queue in the ‘This is my year’ warriors). How Sway? You won’t push yourself, but somehow it’ll be different, you won’t change your habits, but somehow it’ll be different, you won’t commit to anything, but somehow it’ll be different, you won’t alter your thinking, but somehow it’ll be different. Do you and I a favour and stop being deceitful.

The reality is, changing and improving the quality of your life is A LOT of hard consistent work and the results of it may not materialise until months and years later, so the question is, how bad do you want it and can you go the distance?

The unrealistic expectations that we sometimes hold of ourselves cause us to repeatedly fall short of our goals (myself included). We have it in our minds that it’ll be easy to accomplish and when faced the actuality of it, opt out and resign to a life of mediocrity.

With anything worth having, you will have to put the work in, not only in attaining it but to maintain it also. Whether it’s money, career, relationships, family, if it is to be successful, you will have to constantly work for/at it.

What does the work look like in real life? Time, effort, patience, sacrifice, discipline, self-control, consistency, commitment, developing, sweat, tears, failure, restarting, stress, balance, challenge, criticism, the list is endless. And yes, looking at that list it’s very easy to see why anyone would say ‘It’s not for me bro’, but if you want it, it’s a package deal- You can’t pick and choose the bits you want.

In my experience, when trying to change anything, the idea is to focus your energy on one thing. Full focus and attention on one thing is bound to produce greater results at a rapid rate than giving your divided attention to many things. The latter is also a sure fire way to not only be ineffective but stagnant. You will feel like you’re working but the reality is you’re working on too many of the wrong things at the same time and going nowhere fast.

Now I’m not advocating that you abandon everything else, simply that you devote most of your efforts to accomplishing one thing before diversifying. Become skilled at one thing and that will give you the necessary tools to increase your success rate in other areas of your life. Continue as you are? Well you already know what that looks like.

Xo

‘If It Doesn’t Challenge You, It Won’t Change You’

27 Wednesday Dec 2017

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I’d be the first to say I like an easy life. Stress and drama are not my kindred and so far as is possible I avoid it, but sometimes you simply can’t, sometimes its necessary.

I saw the above title on Instagram yesterday and all the ways this statement applies came flooding through my mind; the gym, my career, my relationships.

When hardship comes, we often look for the quickest way to stop it, instead of looking at how this can shape us to be better. We don’t want to struggle or to feel pain, but truth be told whether we like it or not it’ll come, the real test is in how we deal with it.

The challenges that come our way are an opportunity to become better and refine our character, however this will not be possible if every time something threatens our comfort we run or shut down.

Challenge is an integral part of anyone’s development, learn to embrace it and make it work for you not against you. When next it crosses your path, refuse to run or shut down, ask yourself ‘How can this make me better?’

Xo

Turning 30: 20 Things to Know in Your 20’s

10 Sunday Dec 2017

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Can I scream? Am I allowed? I feel like I need to or rather I am going to.

This week has been, how do I put it nicely, challenging. I don’t know whether it is because I am turning 30 in exactly a week or there is something in the water but whatever it is, I need it to hurry up and go away.

In light of this pending new age, I thought it’d be good to do a list of the 20 things to know in your 20’s of what I have learnt, loved and lost.

As someone who is nearing the end of their 20’s you can only imagine the level of anxiety that I and many others like me are experiencing. By my culture and this societies standards,  I needed to have been married, had a baby, bought a home, a thriving career and lots of money in the bank. Ha! Almost none of those have happened.

So here are the first five things I have learnt about my 20’s:

  1. Use your youth. If you can work, work, if you can create, create. Use the energy that you have now as over time you may not have the same intensity. Think Mark Zuckerberg, Evan Spiegel, and Jessica Matthew, to name a few
  2. Look after your credit so it can look after you.
  3. It’s not what you know, it’s who you know. Form friendships of value. In any relationship it is a give and take
  4. Have wild ambitions but set realistic goals towards achieving them. Don’t say you want to be a best-selling author by the end of the month yet you haven’t begun your story. Make the steps towards achieving your goals practical and achievable and over a period of time, you will accomplish it.
  5. If you have an idea, build on it now. There’s absolutely no such thing as the perfect time. Will you fall flat on your face? Most likely. But what you will learn will be invaluable to your growth and development.

Growing into adulthood isn’t easy and as with anything there’ll be highs and lows, you just have to learn how to roll with it.

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I’m smiling inside, I promise.

See you tomorrow!

XO

P.s I am accepting virtual gifts next week 🙂