Tag Archives: Desire

Endless Excuses

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We are full of excuses. Excuses that hinder, inhibit, and can foster stagnation. And yes, sometimes they are valid and substantiated, however, they are only as powerful as we say they are.

I often remember what a coach said to me once, after I poured out my heart and laid out my issues regarding overcoming a fear I had. I was keen to hear the solution to this matter and to be set free.

My expectation was for her to give me a well-thought-out, empathetic, reasonable response, but instead she said ‘Just do it’. That was it. No drawn out speech, no ‘I understand your plight’, no digging deeper to gain further insight.
I was flabbergasted.
Did she read ALL that I wrote?! Is she mad?! and I mentally came up with all the reasons why it wasn’t a matter of simply just doing it.
I didn’t have the words to respond with void of it being offensive, so begrudgingly I swallowed it and wrote thank you.

She was right though.
As time passed, I realised the truth and emancipation in those three words.
There’s no better way to get through or over something than by doing it.

I intend to hopefully do what she did for me for someone else today with words of my own, and its this; If you wanted to, you would.

Xo

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Belief–An Acceptance That Something Exists

I made myself stupid. Hear me out. Years ago, because of an unhealthy level of expectation I placed on myself (which stemmed from comparison), I would harshly judge what I said and how I said it. I would go over every minute detail and pick myself apart mentally, with the underlying message being you’re not …

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by Irene Ephraim

WDYWM?! Episode 10–My Life In Paris

This episode is about my experience of being a Black Brit who moved from London to Paris in a pandemic. I discuss having covid, language barriers and general challenges of integrating into a new society.

by Irene Ephraim

Forgive–To Cancel a Debt.

Nothing is more important than what you choose to do with the breadth of your life. To not forgive is to rob yourself of a life you deserve. …but alas it is you that has been sentenced to a life in prison.  Unforgiveness* is a treacherous con artist because it deceives you into thinking you’re …

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by Irene Ephraim

What Are You Looking At? 

A video of Kim K came across my sight over the weekend. It was her on SNL. I watched it and it dawned on me that I have no idea what she and her family were up to these days.  It’s fascinating what can change once you set your eyes on something entirely different.  I regularly …

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by Irene Ephraim

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Protect Your Peace

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I think we’ve all realised how important being in the right environment is to our mental, emotional and physical health.

Photo by Maria Orlova on Pexels.com

So much has broken down during this period, because of inhabitable spaces, toxic relationships and abusive behaviours. The effects of these things are damning and dangerous. 
But all hope is not lost. 

Protecting your peace and following your bliss means taking risks. Big ones. Ones that scare the crap out of you, that turn your stomach, and make you second guess yourself. Ones, that there is no looking back. Yes, those ones. 
Could it be murky, scary, dark initially? Possibly. It could also be liberating, beautiful, freeing and life-changing.

‘Oh but I don’t know what’ll happen…’ Darling, we never know. The idea that we can guarantee results is wishful. We’re always wishful, with our thoughts, words and actions, and sometimes we hit the mark and other times we miss it entirely. But do we not try because we cannot ensure it? No! We do it anyway. 

And I don’t use wishful to be flippant, but as it’s defined by ‘having or expressing a desire or hope for something to happen’.

Our life is our responsibility. We can no longer hold onto what our parents did or didn’t do. That has passed. What will you do about making your life, a life that you do not want to run away from or hate?

Whatever you stay in or give to, that does not cultivate your best self will continuously break you down. Choose differently.
Be radical with redesigning your life and protecting your peace.
There will always be something happening, you cannot keep waiting for the ‘right’ moment–the ‘right’ moment is whenever you decide to move.

Xo

P.s I think it’s wonderful that February started on a Monday and will end on a Sunday.

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Finishing Well

I visited the Musée Yves Saint Laurent on Sunday and was re-energised by what I saw. For the designer, it was more than just clothes that looked good, it was art, curated by passion, breaking moulds and forging new ways to be seen and felt. As I perused his wears, studied the fabrics, observed the …

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by Irene Ephraim

September

The feeling of a crisp Monday morning cannot be replicated by any other day of the week. It’s full of both promise and dread in equal amounts. What will it bring? What will I have to tackle? What joy will I experience? What task might feel too great? And whilst you marinate on it, you’ll …

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by Irene Ephraim

Back to Life, Back to Reality.

And if you’re seeing this post, it’s an indication that at least for today, I won. Whew! Returning to the blog after an unplanned period away, is like that first day at the gym after falling off for months. It takes a whole lot to get there. On this occasion, the distance was due to Covid. …

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by Irene Ephraim

Question It

Fortuitously, I picked up this book recently to re-read it for the umpteenth time and the words below reflect my sentiments in this post. Much of our education of the world comes from other sources. We seldom form and realise our own ideas about it till much later on in life, if ever at all. …

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by Irene Ephraim

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2019, Bye. 2020, Hello.

31 Tuesday Dec 2019

Posted by in Experiences, Self-Development

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img_2519.jpgI am ready for the New Year and what it may bring however, there is a one thing I think we all should do.

It is only right that as we enter into the year 2020 that we get clarity as where there is no vision, the people perish. 

Get clear on the things you want for yourself in this coming year.  That’s it. That’s the (almost) final word for decade from me.

My final word, is an intention. My intention is that 2020 is phenomenal, prosperous, and full of positive manifestations for you all.

Happy New Year!!!

Irene Xo

 

 

Can You Focus On…Me?

17 Thursday Jan 2019

Posted by in Motivation, Thoughts in motion

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img_8202It’s the 17th January (already?!) and dare I ask, how is it going?

For some of the people I know it’s been, a bit, bluregh. And a bit bluregh is never a good way to feel. Maybe it’s the January blues or in London the gloomy weather? Whatever it is, as with most things, it’ll soon pass.

On my side it’s been quite slow, which I welcome because I know it’s not going to be like this for much longer.

As tradition dictates, with a new year comes new or refreshed goals. I have some that this time around I’m choosing to keep to myself however, I do have one that above all of them is absolutely necessary in order to meet my goals and that is to focus.

I used to hear as a child that ‘Irene is great and has potential but she lacks focus’, and now as an adult I understand more what they meant by that. I struggle to give a thing my undivided attention, so I’m gifting myself myself and working on improving my focus, little by little.

What are you working on?

My advice for any goals or desires you have is to take each day as it comes. Let things happen organically. I spent a considerable amount of time in the past forcing things to happen and the outcome always left me wanting.

To summarise, work with what works.

Xo

P.s Things will start look up, I promise 🙂

Being 30

29 Friday Jun 2018

Posted by in Lessons Learnt, Life, Motivation

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At 22 I made a video with my then boyfriend (not that kind of video, ya nasty) about what I wanted to accomplish by 30. Unfortunately I do not have the video to refer back to as he deleted it when we broke up- salty.

Anyway, I remember having such grand plans of what I wanted my life to look like and the accomplishments I should have by the time I turned 30.

L-O-L

My life is nothing like I had envisioned. It’s great just different.

For years leading up to it, I was incredibly conscious of that target to the point of sometimes crippling anxiety. I’d think about turning 30, and palpitations would follow with a sense of foreboding ‘I am not going to do everything am I?, I’m failure if  I don’t make my goals, all my peers are getting along nicely, there must be something wrong with me…’ and the constant head chatter would regurgitate itself every so often.

Then there were the advice from those in their 30’s, talking about how amazing it will be and how much you’d enjoy it. Their opinions were met with my dubious side eye, raised left eyebrow and pursed lips “sure”.

But here I am 6 months into being 30 not having achieved all of my previous goals and thinking what was the big deal? Life hasn’t come to a halt because things didn’t go according to my plan and it also did not require me to stop working towards them just because I’m 30, in fact quite the opposite.

I have opted to continuously recommit myself to, well, me, in every aspect and there’s no age limit on that-it’s entirely up to you.

Don’t limit yourself. If things don’t work out as planned, oh well, it’s not the end of the world. Keep going, take a step back if you need to, but simply don’t quit.

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Xo

The desire to give up

06 Wednesday Jul 2016

Posted by in Experiences, Life, Motivational & Intentional

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“Don’t give up”

Don’t you just hate cliché words like that? For the sake of it, I’ll list some below that I sometimes find annoying.

The irony is, if you went through my posts, you’d undoubtedly find them littered all ‘up and through’.

Your path is different

It’ll happen for you

Don’t’ give up

It’ll be okay

Your time will come

If it’s meant to be it’ll be

What’s for you is for you.

You have so much potential

You can be anything you want to be

The above is reminiscently poetic. Those words said to you at the wrong time, may cause you to roll your eyes and huff and puff , and rather than serve as words of comfort, they fast become a painful reminder that you are not where you want to be.

*Deep sigh*…however, let me be that thorn in your side once again, as I write this letter to you:

Loyal Reader

Wonderful Place Close

The Universe

M3 HRT

6th July 2016

Dear Friend,

I believe in you and your ability to soar. You are a magnificent creator and able to manifest anything that you so desire. Whatever you want is within reach, but you must keep going and running the race.

You are uniquely different and therefore no one can do what you do or be how you are. You are absolutely necessary and you have something quite special to offer those around you.

I love how when you fall over, you get back up, dust yourself off and keep it moving. You see, you can do stuff like that because you’re resilient and your bounce back game is strong.

I wish you could see yourself sometimes and realise just how wonderful you are. Your presence alone says you are pre-approved for whatever it is you want or choose to be.

Let no one tell you otherwise, you are deserving, you are worthy, and you most certainly can do it.

With love,

Irene Ephraim aka Lipstick

Let’s keep this going, write a letter to someone. It could be someone you know or don’t know. Write it positively, genuinely and loving.

You never know how it may impact their lives.

XO