London to Paris–that’s the move I made during a pandemic. I talk about the good, bad and uncomfortable things about starting a new life somewhere different.
I love knowing everything. I like to know what I’m doing, where I’m doing it, who I’m doing it with (don’t be nasty), and how I’m doing it. I like my t’s crossed and i’s dotted, but that’s not life.
Life is full of beautiful, unpredictable, and transformative unknowns and you only get to find out when you press forward, and leap. Or at least hop.
In this season of transmutations, there is bound to be lots of uncertainty ahead and you may consider retreating into a corner. Don’t. Adjust your posture, straighten your back, wiggle your shoulders, take a deep breath, and lean in.
You are incredibly capable of dealing and moving through whatever lies ahead. Take a look at all you have accomplished thus far.
I came across a video of myself from 2 years ago. On the outside I looked fine, however things felt bleak and my energy was low. Nothing was aspirational.
A chuckle left my lips as the video played, because I was reminded that I can and will get through anything, as long as I continue to press on.
You will too.
Let me fall if I must fall. The one I become will catch me.Sheryl Sandberg
If there is nothing else you take away from me, let ‘stay focused’ be the thing you remember.
I have been a conscious creative for 10 years. An entire decade. And in those years, I have done A LOT.
I didn’t realise how much, until I stumbled across an old USB stick that contained some of my previous work.
I was stunned, and also a little disappointed.
Disappointed, as looking back at me were brilliant ideas, both unfinished and completed, that due to the lack of foresight and belief, I set aside.
In retrospect, I felt that I was on an island alone and in turn began to believe that I wasn’t meant to be there. I soon enough made my way back to doing the norm. I mean how dare I break the mould?
I now know that being alone, and having a vision that no one else sees or understands, is often the prerequisite for something you must do.
You’re in the right place to create something great if no one else gets it.
Take a look around you and touch something.That something was once something unseen and was created by someone initially thought to be stupid, insane, or impractical. We have planes that can take us anywhere in the world. Marinate on that for a moment.
If you have something in your mind that there’s no precedent for, don’t be disheartened or grow weary. Nurture, extract, build or even destroy, to make your vision happen.
No pressure though, you don’t have to, but if you don’t someone else certainly will, so why not you? Stay focused.
I have a gripe.
For some time now, seeing statements like this person is underrated, you could do better, or you have so much potential, has bothered me.
Is there a standard we’re ALL meant to aspire to and must have? And if we do not attain it, do we need to throw towel in?
Such remarks irk me, because whilst its well-meaning, it actually diminishes the individual, their choices and their offerings to the world, rather than the intended opposite.
It places unnecessary pressure for that person to perform and meet the invisible-ever-moving goal post of success. Not for them mind you, for other people’s pleasure. Ultimately, the underlying message is, you’re not good enough. Whew!
What could that do to a person’s self-esteem over a period of time? I’m sure some of you can relate, as you’ve had similar comments made about you.
And if we’re not vigilant, we can very easily slip into a deep abyss of unworthiness and a perpetual feeling of failure, that is hard to climb out of.
Success to me on some days, is waking up in time to attend my virtual french lesson at 7am. On other days it’s me being consistent with what I set out to do. Right now though, it’s me loving my life exactly as it is, curveballs, uncomfortable bits, confusion and all.
What is success to you void of outside influences? When you reflect, and come into the awareness of who you truly are, is whatever you are doing, in alignment?
I strongly believe in every person deciding for themselves, what’s for them, what isn’t, what success looks like and what it doesn’t.
We’ve all been trained to think of things as one way, and anything contrary to that is considered unacceptable, and that’s simply not true. There are so many shapes and sizes, and if you are a star, trying to be a square is unfair and harmful to you.
A mum was explaining how her baby decided to defecate as soon as the nappy came off. She laughed at it and then did the needful. The baby, obviously unaware of what they did, will continue to do as babies do.
How freeing? To do whatever you want, however you want and be accepted?
Just imagine if we allowed ourselves to be as free as babies are, to do whatever feels natural to us and be accepted as is…
It goes without saying that this does not mean descend into anarchical behaviour, as every action has a reaction, but outside that, the possibilities of who we could be and the lives we could lead are bountiful and endless.
To me, you being here, reading this post is proof of you as a success, but again, my opinion doesn’t mean much. Yours does though.
Are the goals and dreams you have yours? As in, do they belong to you? Were they carefully crafted in your mind, and intricately thought about by you, for you?
Are you sure?
Are YOU sure?
I saw someone get featured in a magazine and the next thought I had was ‘Oh I’d like to be a magazine’. I said it instinctively.
It was quickly followed by ‘Erm no you don’t. Why do you want to be in a magazine? How would it change your life? What would it do for you?’.
This internal conversation took place in a matter of seconds, and swiftly I threw that fickle desire in the bin before it grew legs.
Sure, it’ll be a nice to have, maybe, but when I checked in with my goals, being in a magazine wasn’t on the list, and I’m not about to shift my focus onto something different and someone else’s achievement on a whim, simply because it looked good.
Too often we collect other people’s achievements and aspirations, and make them our own and don’t even realise it.
And as we carry out the work associated with accomplishing that goal, we wonder why it’s so incredibly hard to attain, and why it’s not ‘working’ as it should. It could be because you had no business doing it in the first place.
I want my own business- do you really?
I want a huge wedding- do you really?
I want to be a billionaire- do you really?
I want this body type- do you really?
I want to be famous- do you really?
How much of what you do is done because it’s socially acceptable?
One of the beautiful things that has occurred this year is the realisation to many people of what is most important to them. People are waking up.
I have seen people move across the globe, get married on their doorstep, downsize the homes they’ve lived in for years, change careers, and just take chances they wouldn’t normally because they have come back home to themselves and are consciously doing what is right for them.
But like I said, I was just checking.
I trust that whatever you’re doing and working on, is for you, by you.
The ground is fertile.
Everything is moving at lightning speed. And having paid very close attention to the times (yes, with all that is happening), now is the time to sow seeds, and to sprint towards your goals.
All we’ve known is being uprooted, things are shifting quickly, people are realising more and more what’s important, and ultimately change is afoot.
There are no blueprints to follow, because at this moment in history, everyone is figuring it out for themselves. Everyone.
This is the perfect opportunity to do away with the things you’ve always felt obligated to do, and carve out something new, something brilliant, something specially thought of for you, and by you.
P.s Don’t say I didn’t give you the heads up.
As each day passes, it seems like those in office are making Ip Dip Doo decisions concerning our lives, and I am both appalled and fed up.
I am in that delirious stage of dealing with change, where I experience bouts of hysteria, because what we are experiencing is so unbelievable. I keep expecting the director to shout ‘cut’ to end scene, as surely this cannot be real life?!
It caused me to think of my childhood, and how I was conditioned to believe that ‘grown ups’ were all knowing and made sound decisions. Ha!
Of course that isn’t entirely true, and truthfully it’s unnerving, because who do you trust? Who can you rely on to make decisions that have your best interests at heart? Decisions that will impact your future and other generations?
Those that we have elected intentionally or not, are simply not connected to the issues that affect a majority.
With that said, we cannot afford to give all the power to people evidently ill-equipped. It is up to us to design a life that works best, despite the recession, pandemic, Brexit, questionable leadership, and myriad of other things.
This might mean changing your lifestyle, moving cities, taking up causes, career changes, retraining or doubling down on the vision you have for your future.
And no, you cannot half-heartedly do it. There can be no dipping of toes into water, or observing others go for it, looking for evidence in their moves as to why perhaps you shouldn’t.
You, must pursue your dreams, with reckless abandon.
A whole new world (a whole new world)
A new fantastic point of view
No one to tell us, “No”
Or where to go
Or say we’re only dreaming
I really hope this post meets you well.
Can you believe we’re nearly at the end of the year? AND we’re about to enter into a new decade? Wild.
2019 so far for myself and a lot of others, has been a roller coaster of emotions and experiences that we never expected. Things like, unemployment, unplanned pregnancies, incarceration, losing friendships, losing loved ones to death, to name a few things- like I said, a roller coaster.
I wonder if there is some sort of universal purge happening because we are entering into a new decade? What do you think?
Notwithstanding the party and bullsh*t that life can be, we still have to participate and how we do this, is entirely up to us.
Sure, we’re not in control of a lot of things, but the one of the things we can master is, ourselves. WE are huge contributors to our experiences.
With that said, I want you to think about ONE thing you want to accomplish before the 31st December 2019.
Just one. One, because when we attempt to juggle multiple things at a time the following occurs; very little gets done, you become overwhelmed with how much there is to do, causes frustration and worse than all of that, can make you stagnant.
Once you have decided what that is, close off or shut down anything that does not support the thing you are in the process of accomplishing. That might mean limiting the access others have to you, setting a timetable, changing your environment, exposing yourself to something different and so on.
Chances are, you already know what you have to do, you just don’t want to do it. Take heed to whatever messages you are receiving right now about your life, as its the very thing that will get you closer to where you want to be.
And if you don’t? Well you already know what life will look like because you are living it now. Do yourself one solid before the new year and surprise yourself.
With love, Irene x
You set a goal and start to execute your plans to see it materialise. You’re excited and more determined than ever, nothing will stop you, you can do it.
Months and years have passed and you can’t see the finish line, your energy starts to wane. You wonder if there is any point because nothing seems to be changing. You want to stop but you haven’t…yet.
Will it ever happen? Should I give up? Did I make a mistake going down this path? Can I fix it? Should I fix it? What did I do wrong?
It’s not going happen, I should give up, I never should have embarked on this journey, there’s nothing more I can do, I should have done this instead…
The constant noise, the incessant chatter of shoulda woulda couldas engulfs you. You can’t think straight.
Too overwhelmed to do much, yet too far gone to give it all up.
I know the feeling, it’s tempting to call it quits especially on days where it doesn’t make sense.
Truth is, when you made the decision to pursue your desires, there were no guarantees that it would happen, you only believed in it enough to do something about it, kudos to you.
In times like these, you must reconnect to your why. Stop the static by getting out of your normal environment and purge yourself of your thoughts.
Sounds simple, almost too simple yet it works.
I was having a nightmare of a time yesterday with a decision I had made months ago and I was so close to going back on my word. I had re-enacted what I felt like doing in that moment a trillion times but deep down I knew I’d regret it.
I wanted to stay on course but was struggling to. I called on my friends to keep me motivated; they helped, however it didn’t immediately ease my feelings. My thoughts were doing over time.
I decided to go to a small park around where I work. I opened notes on my phone, wrote two lines about how I was feeling and that was it. My sound mind was restored.
Seeing the words was a visual reminder of why I was doing it and that the possibility of something better was worth the effort and indeed valuable to me.
Try it out. If you feel uncertain about your direction, get into nature. Spend time there, meditate, write or even talk to someone. It’s the best free therapy there is. And when you’re done, pat yourself on the back for everything you have accomplished so far, appreciate the moment you’re in now, stay connected to your why and never give up.
If it doesn’t happen on the first try, keep doing it, clarity will come.
“Anything worth having, is worth waiting (working) for”…apparently (lol)
I had an epiphany the other day that is reshaping how I think about myself now and I am hoping it will help you too.
Ever since I can remember, I have never considered myself as a success or that the things I have done have been successful because my view point is I can always do better and more. There has always been a new goal to work towards and I realise now that I could have achieved the most amazing thing and I’d never consider it good enough for that very reason.
I was in the shower when the thought came to me ‘I am a success’. I don’t know whose thought in the ether I picked up, but for some strange reason that statement permeated every part of me as the absolute truth. I AM a success.
All the ways I was/am a success came to mind, even the most unlikely of things like my job, which although doesn’t set my soul on fire, I have one. You think it’s easy maintaining a job with all its nuances that you don’t love, but still go to because it funds your real love? Sounds like a success to me- A shift in perspective.
It made me think, if I do not see myself as successful now with all the things I have done to date and who I am, what difference will it make when I achieve more and greater? When will that turning point come?
We too often qualify success on other people’s terms and find it difficult to see ourselves and all the things we have overcome and accomplished.
Give yourself some credit and spend a few minutes meditating on your achievements, especially the ones you overlook every day. You don’t need anyone but yourself to do that.
Start seeing yourself as a success now and watch you attract more of it because we attract what we are, not what we want to be.