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~ To A Life Worth Living xo

lipstickandblackcoffee

Tag Archives: Encourage

S/He is “Goals”

19 Friday Jan 2018

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Life, Motivation

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Tags

Admire, blogger, comparison, Confidence, depression, Encourage, Faith, Friday, Future, Goals, greatness, inspire, Jealous, Motivate, perception, perspective, self-esteem, value, Weekend, writer

I think we all can admit that we have looked at someones else’s life and admired them, possibly been jealous even at one point, but as I have learnt there’s only one life you should be concerned about, yours.

Its great that we can draw inspiration and learn from others, but we have to be careful how closely we focus on them lest we fall deep down the rabbit hole. Sometimes we look at someone’s life and think they’ve got it made until you hear about their woes, suddenly your life doesn’t seem so bad.

Learn to value where you are and have faith in where you’re going. Everyone’s journey is different as are the blessings and obstacles. Don’t look at anyone else and believe they’re “goals”, be your own goals.

Want to know how to do that? Set weekly, monthly, yearly real and practical goals and smash the shit out of them. Honestly, it works. It builds confidence and sharpens your tools. It will turn the focus back to you and on improving the quality of your life. Trust me, there’s so much living to do and if you’re doing it right, you won’t have time to inspect what the other person is doing. Granted, you can learn from them, however never hold their life in higher esteem than yours, ever.

Have a great weekend! And see you next week 🙂

Xo

Positively Negative

01 Wednesday Jun 2016

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Life, Thoughts in motion

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blogger, Compliment, Encourage, Faith, Henriette Anne Klauser, lifestyle, Motivational Speaker, Negativity, Positivity, self-esteem, Veins, Wednesday, Write it down Make it happen, writer

Humans are such strange creatures, they are my most interesting subject (she says as if she’s an alien). The way we work marvels me.

I had something entirely different to discuss today, but as with life, it is always subject to change.

En route to work this morning, I managed to read a book on my phone. I say managed because my commute to work is heavily overcrowded, but we’ll discuss this another time.

The book is ‘Write it down, Make it happen’ by Henriette Anne Klauser. The bit I pondered on was about compliment collecting, that is by my interpretation, accepting, acknowledging and appreciating compliments paid to us.

What I have noticed amongst people and myself included, is that we are very quick to deflect compliments but accept criticisms in a heartbeat, even to take them to our graves. It’s almost as if the good things said to us bounce off our foreheads onto the floor and the bad things immediately become a part of our veins-Why is that?

Many a time has someone paid me a compliment that I have soon forgotten about, because my first reaction is to be modest (maybe it’s a British thing)and make out that I am less than, that I am ordinary, and that there is nothing particularly special about me. Talk about self effacing?!

*Pause* I am not advocating that one becomes conceited, just follow my train of thought for a second.

Case scenario

Friend: You have a pretty face

Me: Yeah thanks/whatever (because it’s my friend, they are “supposed” to be nice lol) BUT my skin isn’t what I want it to be, if I could have clear skin then I’d be happy. Look at all the scars, it’s not even toned etc etc

A stranger compliments my outfit, hair, or efforts, my reply genuinely is gratitude towards that person. However, my subsequent response is to berate myself or downplay my achievements. So in actual fact I never receive the praise as I reject it in the very first instance. Who taught me/us to be this way?

On the other hand let someone tell me something negative, I will recall the date, time, where, when and who said it. It is ingested straight away.

Its partially down to the way we have been cultivated. We are not supposed to think highly of ourselves or speak positively. If you do or are seen to be too excited about the good things said about you, you’re deemed as arrogant, obnoxious, cocky, all terms that carry negative connotations.

But lets consider it carefully, why would you collect instances of negativity, yet hardly recall the times people have built us up?

Faith comes by hearing, and if what you are telling yourself everyday are all the destructive things you have ever heard, then there can really only be one outcome?

I think I’ll come back to this matter as there is more to explore, for now, let this be food for thought.

XO

P.s I do believe I may have a regular posting schedule, Mondays and Wednesdays, woohoo! Hopefully, I have not just jinxed myself!

 

 

Why Didn’t You Warn Me?!

Why Didn't You Warn Me?!

Why Didn't You Warn Me?! is a podcast speaking on the things you should know, but don't. The things you typically find out after the fact, and it's sometimes too late. Fear not, Why Didn't You Warn Me?! with Irene aka Lipstick, will give you the 411 through story-telling, conversations, and refreshing perspectives.

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