What about me?!
Hellooooo? Anybody there? Is anyone listening to me right now?…no?
Do you ever feel like having a full blown tantrum, a real spit out your dummy moment, in the middle of the supermarket, because life just isn’t fair!
This would be me right now, and usually when I get into this space it’s something I have to exorcise out of me, which is what I’m doing now, by sharing this with you.
Occasionally I get this feeling of being the ‘last man standing’, almost as if I’m in the twilight zone, watching everything else happen around me, except to me. Its like standing at a bus stop, and no matter how much you wave your hands up and down, jump, stand in the road, the bus just won’t stop for you! It does make you think, is there something wrong with me? Why am I always last or being overlooked?
Here are some of my thoughts on why and what to do.
1) There is a season for everything. It is important to acknowledge and understand that you cannot sow and reap at the same time. Sometimes we are not equipped yet with the things we need in order to deal with a particular opportunity. There is a training process that has to ensue before we can embark on that journey. Anything given to us prematurely, we are likely to sabotage because of the lack of wisdom.
The remedy is to continue to work on whatever it is you desire and if it’s not something you can work on, shift your focus. Ever notice how some things come more easily to you when you are not paying attention? I rest my case.
2) Undeniably, it is a hard pill to swallow when you see others with the things that you have so desired for a long time. The green-eyed monster may even rear its ugly head, thus making you jaded. It’s common and happens to the best of us; however it should NOT get the best of us. The antidote for this is again to focus on your ish. Nurture your soil, the grass isn’t always greener on the other side, dedicate your efforts to what you have and what you are building. How many times have we looked at someone and thought, ‘I would love to have what they have’ and later on you find out that it was obtained through fraudulent means or that the ‘ideal’ relationship was in reality an abusive one? Not so appealing is it? Remember, a rose although pretty to look at, hosts a multitude of thorns. When the harvest is ripe it will happen for you and in some cases, better than expected.
3) Desperation reeks! There is something about being desperate that stinks of something terrible. It arrives before you and announces its presence in front of everyone. It in fact can act as a repellent for what you want. For example, you may have encountered a person that was infatuated by you, they wouldn’t stop calling, messaging, professing their undying love, yet all it did, was turn you off. Very often those people never move past the friend zone…I’m sure you get where I am going with this.
Desperation can cause you to behave unreasonably, and make costly decisions that are difficult to come back from. You can also end up sacrificing a lot more than you anticipated. Rather than operate from this space, actively chose to be strategic with your execution. For instance, lets look at the Mayweather vs Pacquiao fight that took place in May. Many people were up in arms about how ‘boring’ and ‘lack luster’ the fight was. Some said how Money May was running from Pacman, if that’s what you think he was doing then you don’t know the first thing about planning, strategy and execution. Nearly every move made by Mayweather was controlled, he undoubtedly was hit a number of times, but his strategy didn’t budge. You could see that he had a game plan, which was clearly working to his advantage. He had evidently done his research, and had mentally and physically prepared for his opponent. Everyone expected the fight to go down with right and left hooks, but he took a completely different approach, which his competitor did not envisage. This disarmed Pacman and left him visibly frustrated. Mayweathers stance gained him another world title and increased wealth, it pays in more ways than one to Plan, Strategise and Execute.
Don’t be predictable, be intentional, use the element of surprise to disarm your opponent (whatever that might be).
Now if all else fails, cry, cry profusely, and once you’ve done that, pick up from where you left off and continue on (just kidding), the idea is to keep on striving for better and not become bitter.
P.s You can now listen to an audio version of this post here https://soundcloud.com/lipstickandblackcoffee/no-29-what-about-me