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lipstickandblackcoffee

~ To A Life Worth Living xo

lipstickandblackcoffee

Tag Archives: Friend

Personal Enemy No 1…You.

28 Monday Jan 2019

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Dreams, Life, Manifest, More Action

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

blogger, Dream, Encouragement, Enemy, Friend, Goals, Gut, Instincts, lifestyle, Manifest, Men, Mind, Monday, Self-help, Self-sabotage, success, Women, writer

 

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Self-sabotage. What a bitch.

We’ve all done/do it and probably have experienced how difficult it is to unearth the habits that cause you to trip up and repeat stifling behaviours. Truthfully, it’s a scary thing to change your ways, as doing so requires you to push past who you currently are to be someone you have very little experience being.

It’s much much easier to remain as you are…yet you still feel so uncomfortable. Your desires niggle at you, willing you to get out of your comfort zone and do the work necessary to make your dreams materialise, but you’re scared shitless and feel like an imposter, ‘Who am I to have such audacious desires?’.

You might even make attempts to do the work, but you’re suddenly distracted, matter of fact you’re always “distracted”. You’ve become adept at finding excuses to not really show up, ‘It won’t work because so and so’. You want to leave it, you even convince yourself that you’re content to, but again, your dreams are persistent and won’t let you rest, it simply won’t allow you to just move on.

I get it. Changing is hard and real long lasting change takes time, effort and most importantly patience.

I do believe there’s a time and place for radical action but this is not one of them. Here requires a delicate approach. Below are 3 tips to help you help yourself.

1. Recognise the habits and thought patterns that keep you stagnant. One of mine is ‘There’s no point, I won’t get it.’ And guess what? It’s self-fulfilling, because automatically I won’t do the things required to get it. Side note: I had an interview today and got outside the building, only to come up with reasons why I didn’t want to go in. Thankfully, I had enough sense to call a friend who gave me something to think about. I went. I just needed a little push.

2. Pick one thing to alter and take a step towards it. I recently did a 24 hour ‘be positive’ challenge and I realised that as “positive” as I considered myself to be, I had A LOT of negative chatter going on subconsciously (lots more work to do).

3. Do the thing your gut has been begging you to do. It’s your biggest cheerleader. Refrain from constantly looking outside of yourself for affirmation. I truly believe that deep down every individual knows what’s best for them, they simply don’t trust themselves enough.

Take a chance on yourself, what is the worst that could happen? Growth- and that’s whether you succeed or don’t.

Xo

Sleepless nights

18 Wednesday Jan 2017

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Late night, Less Talk, Life, More Action

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

action, blogger, Debt, Family, Friend, Insomnia, Late night, writer

Burning the midnight oil.

Where are my weirdos at? My tribe, the ones who suffer from self-inflicted insomnia, caused by an overactive mind to do more, be more, live more, everything more!

The struggle is all too familiar to me. You know you should be sleeping as you have a 9-5 to get to, but for whatever reason you can’t and when you do actually fall asleep, its time to get up, ugh.

I was pondering today on thinking, and how it can often times be an achilles heel, Anxiety is worrying about the future and depression is worrying about the past, and although you can think your way into a new way of life, it is impossible to do so without taking action.

I attend weekly counselling sessions, yup you heard right, weekly counselling. Before I continue, I have to say this, counselling is for EVERYONE! No matter who, what, where you are, you can benefit from having a place where you can offload without judgement.

Anyway, so like I said earlier I have counselling because I’m ill, I kid, for various reasons, and at one point during these “meetings” (thats what I like to call them), I discovered that I spent a lot of time thinking about all the things I had to do constantly, and consequently feeling overwhelmed to point of not actually doing anything whatsoever! Nada, Zilch, Nothing.

Is that not sheer madness? You over stress, over imagine and over think something to death that you have no more energy.

Here’s my tried and tested advice: Think a little, Do a lot.

Good things come to those who do. Work with what you have and DO the best you can.

If you have debts, speak to a financial adviser, there are plenty of charities that offer free advise with debt management. You don’t have to feel alone. If its an ill family member or friend, spend your efforts making it the best time you’ve ever had together. My late Grandmother lived in a different country and whenever she called or was speaking to my mum on the phone, no matter what I was doing, I made sure I spoke to her and honestly it helped when she passed, because I knew I did not take her for granted- Every moment counted. If it is a career issue, seek out someone who you deem to be successful and ask them what they did and learn from them. The internet is also your friend, there is so much useful information, use it to your advantage.

Whatever keeps you up at night, there is a solution to it. Spend less time thinking about it, and more time doing something about it.

All hope is not lost. You are. For now. But not for long.

Keep going, keep trying and…Goodnight.

Xo

 

 

 

The desire to give up

06 Wednesday Jul 2016

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Experiences, Life, Motivational & Intentional

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

blogger, Creator, Desire, Friend, Hard times, life, Love, Manifest, Motivation, Powerful, writer

“Don’t give up”

Don’t you just hate cliché words like that? For the sake of it, I’ll list some below that I sometimes find annoying.

The irony is, if you went through my posts, you’d undoubtedly find them littered all ‘up and through’.

Your path is different

It’ll happen for you

Don’t’ give up

It’ll be okay

Your time will come

If it’s meant to be it’ll be

What’s for you is for you.

You have so much potential

You can be anything you want to be

The above is reminiscently poetic. Those words said to you at the wrong time, may cause you to roll your eyes and huff and puff , and rather than serve as words of comfort, they fast become a painful reminder that you are not where you want to be.

*Deep sigh*…however, let me be that thorn in your side once again, as I write this letter to you:

Loyal Reader

Wonderful Place Close

The Universe

M3 HRT

6th July 2016

Dear Friend,

I believe in you and your ability to soar. You are a magnificent creator and able to manifest anything that you so desire. Whatever you want is within reach, but you must keep going and running the race.

You are uniquely different and therefore no one can do what you do or be how you are. You are absolutely necessary and you have something quite special to offer those around you.

I love how when you fall over, you get back up, dust yourself off and keep it moving. You see, you can do stuff like that because you’re resilient and your bounce back game is strong.

I wish you could see yourself sometimes and realise just how wonderful you are. Your presence alone says you are pre-approved for whatever it is you want or choose to be.

Let no one tell you otherwise, you are deserving, you are worthy, and you most certainly can do it.

With love,

Irene Ephraim aka Lipstick

Let’s keep this going, write a letter to someone. It could be someone you know or don’t know. Write it positively, genuinely and loving.

You never know how it may impact their lives.

XO

Why Didn’t You Warn Me?!

Why Didn't You Warn Me?!

Why Didn't You Warn Me?! is a podcast speaking on the things you should know, but don't. The things you typically find out after the fact, and it's sometimes too late. Fear not, Why Didn't You Warn Me?! with Irene aka Lipstick, will give you the 411 through story-telling, conversations, and refreshing perspectives.

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