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~ Be Live It

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Tag Archives: friends

‘Bad Energy Stay Far Away’

05 Friday Oct 2018

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Life, Thoughts in motion

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

action, choice, Cut, decision, energy, Family, Friday, friends, inspiration, lifestyle, Motivation, Negative, Positivity, vision

🗣 It’s Friday, Whoomp there it is!

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When you think about it, it’s a terrible way to think about Friday, because what does that say about your life in general?

Anyway we’re working on creating the life we want whilst appreciating the one we have aren’t we?

The other day I spoke about disengaging and in the few days of doing so, it has immensely improved my energy levels and morale.

You see now that I’m not easily exposed and available to things and people, my interactions are much more purposeful and intentional. There isn’t that unnecessary noise that comes my way just because it can and removing this has been vital. The perspective I want to have has been fortified by simply clearing the crap.

I think that’s something I’ve learnt from my parents, that’s it not always about reinventing the wheel, but working with what you have. You don’t have to wait for ‘something’, the something is here, it’s now, it’s in your face.                 

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Side note: I’m writing this on my way into a work and this is my current position. In my attempt to take a picture to show you, my flash was on. LOL how embarrassing! Dummy.

Effectively, immediately, take control over the things that are no longer serving you well and cut them out, even if it’s temporary, so that you can make room for the things that will.

You’ll most likely feel anxious about it and second guess your decision, do it anyway. You’ll thank yourself and me (hopefully lol).

Xo

P.s The things I cut out are WhatsApp, Facebook and Instagram.

The Year of Realisations

12 Tuesday Dec 2017

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Experiences, Late night, Lessons Learnt, Life

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Family, friends, friendships, Honest, Introspection, Late night, Learnt, Lesson, Lessons, life, Love, Relationships, Thirties, Thoughts, trust, writer, Writing

As much as some find it purposeful, my writing is my remedy and I hope you’ll allow me to continue to use this platform to express myself as necessary and bear with me whilst I go through this weird phase.

A friend of mine would often say “Wow, the year of realisations” in response to anything (usually funny stuff) that takes her by surprise. I have a similar use for that phrase except the surprises are a bit more painful than funny.

I have recently had to question and re-evaluate some of the friendships that I have and it hurts to know that perception isn’t always reality.

The realisation that the esteem I held people in isn’t mutual is a hard pill to swallow. What concerns me more is having to look at myself and ask how did I get it so wrong? Why did I give of myself in a way that would yield such little return or regard?

I share this purely to show that irrespective of who anyone is, everyone deals with similar things.

How will I go forward with this new ‘enlightenment?’ Time and wise counsel from God. The one thing I do not want to do is harden my heart and become bitter, because let’s be real that will do more damage to me than it’ll ever do to them.

Relationships of any kind are hard work and require consistent reciprocal effort, compromise and compassion. If these are missing then it’s time to release the noose from around your neck and free yourself.

You cannot be of service from an empty space, you have to be full and part of that comes through your relationships with others.

Remember this, if there’s no love in it, leave it.

…In other news this is how I’m trying to be for the rest of the week:


LIT!

Xo

P.s I’ll be back to normal asap.

Day 4: FML

03 Monday Jul 2017

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Experiences, Late night, Less Talk, Life, Thoughts in motion

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Tags

Alcohol, Beads, blogger, Chocolate Martini, Dessert, Food, friends, Mardi Gras, Murphys Law, Oreos, Technology, Waffles, Work, writer

I believe I said that I would go to the gym on Wednesday? Yeah, that didn’t happen. I ended up going for dessert with my neighbour. And yes the dessert was amazing! Waffles with Nutella spread all over and crushed Oreos, mmm yum, but erm no good for my body goals. 

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29 June 2017

Today was an utter disaster! 

I had been planning and prepping for a work event for weeks. No stone was left unturned. I was pedantic, no, manic with every detail, but where did it all go wrong? Technology. Good ol’ technology! It did me so dirty today, I was livid. Every expletive you know of, was used. From the beginning of the event till the end, I spent it trying to connect Skype calls, carry out presentations, communicate with multiple people and take notes- epic fail. One thing I do not like is to look or be incompetent. I don’t even like the idea of it.  

Sure, everyone was really understanding and I was even applauded at the end for all my efforts but that’s not the point! Where’s bloody Olivia Pope when you need her? The universe clearly had other plans. Murphy’s f**king law. 

My mood was so bad that I almost cancelled my plans to meet a group of friends, which had been organised a month ago.  

I raved and ranted to a gentleman friend, who ever so kindly came down to meet me at London Bridge for a quick drink before I had to meet my other friends. So sweet. 

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Needless to say my evening did get better thanks to him and a few others. For that, I am grateful. 

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I even got a gift from a good friend of mine from his trip to New Orleans, which is one of the places on my hit list to visit.

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That’s all folks till hopefully, tomorrow :s

Xo

P.s That wasn’t a lot of writing but trust me, what I had written before was total crap, nothing made sense!

The Magic Circle: Accept friend request or nah?

25 Wednesday May 2016

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Less Talk, Life, Thoughts in motion

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Adventurous, Creatives, Example, friends, life, Magic Circle, Marriage, Millionaires, Reality

The Magic Circle

When I was a teenager, I remember my peers saying things like and please excuse the crudeness of this next statement, “If she is a hoe, then her friend must be one too”. I strongly disagreed with this statement (and still do to some extent). I thought it is very possible to be friends with someone who has a different lifestyle to you and still not be influenced by it.

The older I have become, the more I realised that the latter statement doesn’t necessarily present reality. My mother would always say ‘mind the company you keep’, ‘yeast works through a batch of dough’ or ‘Iron sharpens Iron’. These idioms didn’t come out of thin air, they came as a result of noticing the patterns within of a group of people or things.

If you think those in your immediate circle do not affect what you do and how you do it then think again.

In fact as I am writing this I just remembered a recent incident that occurred between my friends and I.

We were in Mexico for a friend’s wedding and on one of the free days, we had a fun filled day with different activities. Quad biking, zip lining, jumping into the river from different heights, it was a lot, but a fantastic day nonetheless!

One of the activities, although you had a choice on whether you wanted to do it or not, was zip lining and or jumping from different heights into the river(Fresh water). Now I am a new swimmer, so I’m not at all confident.

My friend Ref is a incredibly adventurous (she beats me hands down), a thrill seeker if you will. She is game for almost anything. She had been jumping in and out of the river and had already been on the zip line.

I didn’t want to be a punk and leave Mexico without pushing my boundaries. I too decided to get on the zip line, fear will not make me its b*tch.

What possessed me to do it? Well aside from my desire, my friend with her zest for life did it for me. There were times during the trip in Mexico where she would encourage me to try things I was apprehensive about doing, but it was her fearlessness and action that sealed the deal for me. If she can do it, then so can I and I did.

Which brings me to my next point, I had another friend with me who couldn’t swim at all, Remi. We are like two peas in a pod, out of us, I am the more daring one. After my first go at zip line, guess who wanted to do it too? She did. I nearly fell on my face when she said she wanted to do it, but not wanting scare her, I didn’t make a big deal out of it at the time.

Need I remind you that she CANNOT swim, we went towards zip line, “1, 2, 3 GO!” off we went and down we ascended.  To say I was a proud friend was an understatement; the act represented so many things for me. After being friends for nearly 15 years, I was happy to know that we were still in this race together not just physically but mentally.

Would she have done it, if I hadn’t done it first? Would I have done it, if Ref hadn’t done it before me? The answer to that question is likely to be a hell no!

If your friends are perpetually broke, the chances are (if you are not already there), that you will follow suit. It’s just like how we adopt our parents characteristics or do the things commonly done in our community. For example, why do people from a particular background or area, join gangs? It is what is done and for them like a rite of passage, what they are “supposed to do”. In the same way if you’re from a Nigerian background, university is a given.

Millionaires attract and hang around with other millionaires. Naturally their finances will increase. Why? Because they share their knowledge and expertise with one another, and often times collaborate.

Married people associate themselves with other married people, it’s a no brainer. Even if there is an anomaly amongst the group that is single, or in the relationship, the chances are high that the end result will be marriage.

You become what you see or are in association with.

Creatives hang around with other creative people, and if you are one and you don’t, I can guarantee than your production rate is minimal because there aren’t others like you to heighten that desire and inspire you.

If you have friends that are always late, you’re probably always late too, and if you’re not, then you’ll soon join them. I can vouch for that, my mother’s sense of timing is way off, so you can imagine mine isn’t fantastic,although I am working on it ( I promise).

By no means am I saying ditch your current friends, I am however, encouraging you to expand your network of friends, partnerships and associations.

When advancing onto the next level and there is no one like minded around you,  you must then brace it alone.

Years ago I started attending events alone. The result is I now have no problem being in strange environments alone and can thrive in them. Once upon a time asking a passerby a question was a challenge.

Go to where you want to be. Don’t wait for that ‘time’ or when you ‘make it’, do it now! Until you arrive (whatever arriving means to you) saturate your life with the things that reinforce your aspirations. There have been many a time where I have felt and overwhelming sense of  despair based on my environment alone.

Are there exceptions to this rule? Of course, but if you are trying to achieve something quickly then get around those who are achieving and living it, fast. If not, you will continue to remain where have always been.

Shout out to my friend Sam, who was inspired to begin writing again and start his blog www.theskepticalromantic.wordpress.com because he came across mine 🙂

Still think it’s not that important?

P.s the feature image is Remi and I.

Don’t you dare give up!

04 Monday Aug 2014

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Motivation, Self-Development

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

change, defining, develop, drive, friends, good, Happy, life, moment, woman

My weekend was nothing short of amazing!

It has been a breath of fresh air to say the least, not because I did anything particularly out of the ordinary, but more so because I spent it doing the most simplest of things with great people.

Sometimes, we over complicate things and in the process, miss out on many defining moments.

I had a defining moment this weekend and it was so minute I might just have overlooked it. Aside from being with good friends and enjoying myself wholly, I attended a special occasion and was moved by the people I was with. More than anything, it spoke of how far I had come from what I used to be and reiterated that you truly can achieve whatever it is that you want to.

Angry, resentful, destructive to friendly, charming and fun, imagine that. If I say it was easy I would be lying, it has been trying but extremely rewarding.

So I implore you today, whatever it is you want to achieve no matter how big or small it is, work at it now and be consistent. Consistency is key and must be exercised in order to see the kind of results that you want. If  you only give 50% once in a while, you’ll get once in a while results, if you give 50% frequently then the rate of return is higher and quicker…Capisce?

Don’t be consumed with the technicalities of doing things as that will very quickly become a deterrent for you.

It is important to not focus on the ‘how’ so much as it is more about the now. The ‘how’ will come to you as you continue to be proactive in pursuit of your goal.

Whatever it is you want to do, just begin it immediately and execute it in whichever way you know even if it turns out to be ineffective. If that does happen then guess what? You are still closer to getting it right because you have taken action. What you have actually done, is a process of elimination of how not to do it and additionally discovering how you can refine whatever it is you are doing. It’s a much better way to see it than to deem yourself as a failure. That word holds such a strong negative connotation.

The moment you procrastinate, the harder it becomes and the more you’ll end up talking yourself out of doing a great thing. It’s remarkable how once you have an idea that you almost instantaneously become extremely creative with all the reasons why it cannot be done -_-.  Humans are funny! You begin to back up your case study and draw out exhibit A-Z in support of your case. After you have done all that, my thoughts is this “and??!” just do it anyway!

I like to refer to it as telling yourself lies. We have all consistently said to ourselves “I can’t do it” “the reason I don’t feel like it can happen is” or the big one “I don’t have any money”…the lie detector determined that was a lie! If you desire it strongly enough you WILL commit to it, regardless of the circumstances.

Think of me as your sergeant “Just do it, do it, do it, DO IT, DO IT NOW!…DROP AND GIVE ME TE…” Ok I enjoyed that a little bit too much…*mumbles a sorry*

Any effort made towards your intended destination is progress, never mind how small it may be, as 20% from 0% is still a 20% increase and improvement from before-keep going!

One more thing is to not be so hard on yourself! Sometimes we are the most critical to ourselves and show ourselves no compassion whatsoever!  I used to think that if I berated myself, it would provoke me to act and do better-WRONG! It actually had the adverse effect and all it served to do is to keep me in the exact same spot. Speaking badly of yourself is not healthy and decreases self esteem. Positive affirmation leads to positive actions, speak well of yourself even if you mess up.

So, the three things I want you to remember this week is this:

  • Be consistent
  • Doing something is still better than having done nothing at all
  • Don’t berate yourself if you don’t meet a personal target, just keep going.

I bid you farewell till next time and have a fantastic week ahead!

Signed LBC

Ps Below is two of many pics taken over the weekend with a great friend. Oh and I’m the itty bitty one 🙂 I have no idea what we were laughing about but it must have been funny…Caption it.

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