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~ To A Life Worth Living xo

lipstickandblackcoffee

Tag Archives: Friendship

On Your Team

26 Monday Nov 2018

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Experiences, Lessons Learnt, Life

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Example, Friendship, Leadership, life, lifestyle, Love, Mindset, passion, perspective, relationship, support, Team, Valueable

img_5963In case no one has told you this recently, I’m on your team!

I have many interests that I’d love to explore and maybe share, however I have chosen to use my blog for its current purpose, because I have on many occasions needed a ‘me’. And by that I mean someone who can be honest about things, encouraging and sometimes provide a different perspective.

My hopes are that my presence here bridges the gap for at least one person, that they don’t feel so alone and isolated from the world, and that somehow they can connect the dots for themselves from what they read, because with the hustle and bustle of life it’s so easy to feel unworthy, lack purpose or feel unsuccessful.

The inspiration behind this post is a friend of mine who recently started his business in men’s fashion. He was posting regularly and then he stopped.
I checked with him about what was up and he gave me an excuse as we all do. I in that moment, chose to give him a little bit of a push by holding him accountable and giving a deadline for when he needs to post by. I gather from his response that he appreciated it.

Don’t we all need that sometimes? For someone to give a shit about what we’re doing, to notice that something has changed, to care about a project close to our hearts.
It makes such a difference to have someone pay a little attention and encourage you to stay on course.

You might not have that in your lives right now but you can. To have it, you need to be it. It’s one thing to have the desire and expectation from others but to experience it you must know what it is like to give it.

Look around you today and choose a person/s and check-up on them. If you no one springs to mind, what about that person that appears to have together? The chances are they don’t. Take an honest interest in their affairs be it business or personal and be of value. Be an example, most especially if there are none.

Oh and in case you’ve forgotten already, I’m on your team!

Xo

I Wish It Wasn’t So

05 Monday Nov 2018

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Experiences, Life

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death, Friendship, Gratitude, Heartbreak, Pain, Sadness

img_5304The last few days have been a whirlwind of emotions. My friend passed away suddenly and it is the most painful experience of my adulthood.

I am not ready to start losing friends yet, we’re in our early 30’s, you die of old age not abruptly.

Franklin was the sweetest, gentlest and caring person and I miss him incredibly. I wish he were still here.

Writing a post has been especially difficult, because as I write I am filled with the memory of his encouraging words and particular appreciation for my writing. He read my posts without being asked and always gave me positive feedback, and that meant everything to me.
Being a writer is an isolating process and whilst I love it, you do write to be read, but that does not always happen, least of all from your family and friends. To have him continuously care and show support not only in this, but in my life as a whole was so appreciated and special to me.

I did have a little bit of change in perspective yesterday, and that was to be grateful to have known him at all, and I was. I valued him when he was here and will forever cherish the moments we had.

There are so many things that I feel and haven’t been able to articulate yet and probably won’t for some time. This is about as much as I can manage writing about him for now.

Through this, I have made a commitment to make sure that his life continues to be meaningful in mine.

Xo

P.s I don’t know if I’ll be posting regularly for now, please bear with.

“New Year, New Me” Stop Lying!

04 Thursday Jan 2018

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Life, More Action, Motivation

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achieve, author, Better, career, change, expectation, Failure, Family, Friendship, Goal, growth, January, Money, Motivation, New me, new year, perception, Reality, relationship, Speaker, success, Work, writer

First of all, HAPPY NEW YEAR! However you spent it, I hope it was good for you.

At the start of the year, we’re so strongly convicted of all the things we’re going to do and how this time it’ll be different (queue in the ‘This is my year’ warriors). How Sway? You won’t push yourself, but somehow it’ll be different, you won’t change your habits, but somehow it’ll be different, you won’t commit to anything, but somehow it’ll be different, you won’t alter your thinking, but somehow it’ll be different. Do you and I a favour and stop being deceitful.

The reality is, changing and improving the quality of your life is A LOT of hard consistent work and the results of it may not materialise until months and years later, so the question is, how bad do you want it and can you go the distance?

The unrealistic expectations that we sometimes hold of ourselves cause us to repeatedly fall short of our goals (myself included). We have it in our minds that it’ll be easy to accomplish and when faced the actuality of it, opt out and resign to a life of mediocrity.

With anything worth having, you will have to put the work in, not only in attaining it but to maintain it also. Whether it’s money, career, relationships, family, if it is to be successful, you will have to constantly work for/at it.

What does the work look like in real life? Time, effort, patience, sacrifice, discipline, self-control, consistency, commitment, developing, sweat, tears, failure, restarting, stress, balance, challenge, criticism, the list is endless. And yes, looking at that list it’s very easy to see why anyone would say ‘It’s not for me bro’, but if you want it, it’s a package deal- You can’t pick and choose the bits you want.

In my experience, when trying to change anything, the idea is to focus your energy on one thing. Full focus and attention on one thing is bound to produce greater results at a rapid rate than giving your divided attention to many things. The latter is also a sure fire way to not only be ineffective but stagnant. You will feel like you’re working but the reality is you’re working on too many of the wrong things at the same time and going nowhere fast.

Now I’m not advocating that you abandon everything else, simply that you devote most of your efforts to accomplishing one thing before diversifying. Become skilled at one thing and that will give you the necessary tools to increase your success rate in other areas of your life. Continue as you are? Well you already know what that looks like.

Xo

This is 30!

21 Thursday Dec 2017

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Experiences, Life

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Birthday, Celebration, Christmas, December, Dinner, Family, Friendship, growth, Lessons, new year, Party, Progress, Thirty

I wish I could give you a play by play of everything that has been happening over the past few weeks but we’d be here forever. A few words to describe it would be a rollercoaster of emotions, testing and exciting.

At times it felt like a line from Mary Mary’s Shackles ‘everything that could go wrong, all went wrong at one time’. I couldn’t catch a break. For every disappointment, I steamrolled my way forward, refusing to stop, just dusting myself off and keeping it pushing. Of course there is only so long you can continue on that path until it all falls down, and that came the day before my birthday, a few hours before my dinner party. My emotions boiled over and momentarily a dam broke. Fortunately, I didn’t have the capacity to wallow in it because I had a dinner to be at, and not just any dinner at that, MY 30th birthday dinner.

The dinner was amazing! I am so fortunate to have had great people to help organise, plan and oversee the proceedings of the day as I could not have done it without them. It’s a huge blessing to also have friends and family that would show up and I’m incredibly grateful.

IMG_3041IMG_3072

IMG_3075

What do I think so far about being 30? It’s been 3.5 days and its too soon to have a fully formed answer to this, but so far, it feels like a coming into something new. I have renewed energy to appreciate the things that I have and to make even better what I have been given. Ironically,  I also feel like the baby of the next decade (lol) which is great and I don’t feel so “old”.

I’m excited about what’s next and looking forward to the year ahead. I want to be able to say this time next year “What a difference a year makes” in the most wonderful way.

What do you want to say this time next year?

Xo

 

 

 

Why Didn’t You Warn Me?!

Why Didn't You Warn Me?!

Why Didn't You Warn Me?! is a podcast speaking on the things you should know, but don't. The things you typically find out after the fact, and it's sometimes too late. Fear not, Why Didn't You Warn Me?! with Irene aka Lipstick, will give you the 411 through story-telling, conversations, and refreshing perspectives.

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