Posted in WDYWM Podcast
Tags
Animals, Culture, Dimensions, Emotions, Fears, happiness, Living Abroad, Lockdown, Love, Music, President, Prime Minister, Quarantine
21 Questions about relationships, who would I swap lives with, being the president of a country, greatest fears and more.
Posted in Life
I think we’ve all realised how important being in the right environment is to our mental, emotional and physical health.
So much has broken down during this period, because of inhabitable spaces, toxic relationships and abusive behaviours. The effects of these things are damning and dangerous.
But all hope is not lost.
Protecting your peace and following your bliss means taking risks. Big ones. Ones that scare the crap out of you, that turn your stomach, and make you second guess yourself. Ones, that there is no looking back. Yes, those ones.
Could it be murky, scary, dark initially? Possibly. It could also be liberating, beautiful, freeing and life-changing.
‘Oh but I don’t know what’ll happen…’ Darling, we never know. The idea that we can guarantee results is wishful. We’re always wishful, with our thoughts, words and actions, and sometimes we hit the mark and other times we miss it entirely. But do we not try because we cannot ensure it? No! We do it anyway.
And I don’t use wishful to be flippant, but as it’s defined by ‘having or expressing a desire or hope for something to happen’.
Our life is our responsibility. We can no longer hold onto what our parents did or didn’t do. That has passed. What will you do about making your life, a life that you do not want to run away from or hate?
Whatever you stay in or give to, that does not cultivate your best self will continuously break you down. Choose differently.
Be radical with redesigning your life and protecting your peace.
There will always be something happening, you cannot keep waiting for the ‘right’ moment–the ‘right’ moment is whenever you decide to move.
Xo
P.s I think it’s wonderful that February started on a Monday and will end on a Sunday.
Fortuitously, I picked up this book recently to re-read it for the umpteenth time and the words below reflect my sentiments in this post. Much of our education of the world comes from other sources. We seldom form and realise our own ideas about it till much later on in life, if ever at all. …
Face your front is a common Nigerian expression, meaning to look ahead, pay attention to your affairs and stop watching others. The irony is the exact opposite expression also exists, and its ‘Look at your mates’, but we will unpack that another time. How much further along might you be if you pull backed some of …
Adulting, need I say more? If you could opt out, at least for a period of time, would you take it? This episode is about the realities of adulthood.
It didn’t work. Didn’t it? Or did you give up after the first attempt? We’ve become accustomed to expecting microwave results. We no longer believe in the art of cultivating, nurturing or giving of ourselves to a thing. We want it, and we want it now. I often go back to what I was like as a child. …
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Posted in Lessons Learnt, Life
Tags
2020, Celebration, Christmas, Christmas Decor, France, happiness, inspiration, joy, life, Lockdown, Love, Motivation, Paris, Quarantine
I cannot remember the last time I decorated my home for Christmas. My family, at least the younger lot, aren’t fussed with Christmas much to my dismay. How and why don’t you love it?!?
Keeping up the Christmas cheer when others around you are not enthusiastic about it, has been challenging and ultimately demotivating. As a result my festive spirit waned over the years. Bah hambug!
This year is different. Maybe it’s because I’m away from home and in a new home, but I decided that given everything that has happened, creating a little joy in our place was necessary.
Saturday was the first day of the non-essential shops reopening, and having spent the last few weeks only going to the supermarket and straight back home, I was itching to get out and do other normal things, albeit with a mask on.
We spent the day deciding on Christmas decor; should we get a white tree? a green one? a snow Christmas tree? tinsel? a Christmas plant? decorative Christmas window stickers? Yes. Yes to everything.
That evening we put the tree together. It looked small and scrawny.
We spent the first few seconds after erecting the tree laughing at how uncharismatic and un-christmas it looked. Um did we make a mistake going for this tree?
A can of fake snow, tinsel, glittery green and gold baubles and LED lights later, we had a semblance of healthy-ish and joyful looking tree. Results! (Still a work in progress)
The warm and inviting ambience the lights create as it subtly illuminates the room, gives me instant joy and is a reminder that good and wonderful things exist. I’m glad I didn’t succumb to being the Grinch this year, as 2020 really doesn’t need any help with that!
My point is mark the occasion, no matter how little or who likes it or doesn’t, curate a little joy for yourself.
xo
We are full of excuses. Excuses that hinder, inhibit, and can foster stagnation. And yes, sometimes they are valid and substantiated, however, they are only as powerful as we say they are. I often remember what a coach said to me once, after I poured out my heart and laid out my issues regarding overcoming …
London to Paris–that’s the move I made during a pandemic. I talk about the good, bad and uncomfortable things about starting a new life somewhere different.
I love knowing everything. I like to know what I’m doing, where I’m doing it, who I’m doing it with (don’t be nasty), and how I’m doing it. I like my t’s crossed and i’s dotted, but that’s not life. Life is full of beautiful, unpredictable, and transformative unknowns and you only get to find …
21 Questions about relationships, who would I swap lives with, being the president of a country, greatest fears and more.
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13 Friday Dec 2019
Posted in Life, More Action, Motivation
Tags
2017, 2019, challenge, change, choice, Daily, depression, growth, Habits, happiness, life, lifestyle, Motivation, new year, Procrastination, success, Vote
***Updated***
Typically around this time of the year we start to reflect on all that we’ve done. We look at what have achieved and what we haven’t.
We examine closely the things we didn’t get to do and resign to saying ‘2020’ is my year. Pray tell, how will 2020 be any different if you’re not doing anything different? You still think the same, speak the same, act the same, have the same conversations, do the same things and somehow it’ll be…different?
I want you to remember that 2019 isn’t over yet and there is so much we can still do in creating the life we want to live.
Now I don’t have all the answers but I do know a little something that might help. I learnt something recently from my mentor that has helped shape what I do now and it’s this; the work is your habits.
What do your habits say about you and your life? The state of your life is in direct correlation to the habits you have nurtured and practice on a daily basis. For example, if you work out regularly, it’s likely to be evident in your fitness, physique and mentality. Like the saying goes the proof is the pudding.
After a long day at work, like most I just want to plop onto my bed. I don’t want to do any ‘house stuff’ least especially laundry. The clothes are on my bed and I gear up to swiftly push them to the side and curl up on my bed but I pause. What does this act do for me? 1) Fosters laziness and procrastination 2) Increases workload 3) Messy space, messy life 4) Lack of clarity…you see, that ‘little thing’ isn’t worth all that comes with it, so in most cases, I’ll sort it there and then. Everything you do, is mapping out your life.
So, as you go about your daily activities today think about this, what is what I’m about to do say about me and my life? And if you find that the answer is negative, there is your starting point for you to do something about it.
Check your habits and if you don’t like the results it produces, change your habits.
Xo
25 Monday Mar 2019
Posted in Experiences, Lessons Learnt, Life
Tags
Achievement, action, change, Goals, happiness, life, lifestyle, Magic, Monday, Motivation, Procrastinate, success, Will Smith, Work
‘The magic you’re looking for is in the work you are avoiding’. I wish I could refute this statement with all of my might but I can’t.
As a professional work avoider, I know how much (temporary) enjoyment I get from skiving off. That is until the chickens come home to roost.
I also know that doing the work is the actual key to unlocking rewards. And there’s no other way around it.
Usually that piece of work that I avoid becomes easy once I start doing it, then I’m bemused because ‘what was the big deal?, why was I avoiding this?’.
I’d had been procrastinating on writing a business plan for my next venture. When I did get around to it, I realised I had already completed a large portion of it on a previous occasion (I must have been delirious whilst doing it). Oh. So I can do it then.
With the new week upon us, what work have you been running away from? Run towards it. Grab it by the horns and make it your bitc submit to you. You already have what it takes, use it. Even if you don’t know how, start with what you know and things will begin to unfold.
I’m learning that with what you want, you can’t be afraid to work and sometimes work hard, as it is the very thing that will call forth your desires.
Xo
11 Monday Feb 2019
Tags
Blessing, Goal, happiness, joy, Law of Attraction, Lifestyle Writer, Love, Manifest, Mind, Monday Motivation, New week, Pain, perception, Reality, Speak, The Secret, Thoughts, vision, words
It’s been a little quiet over here and I’m starting to think that I’m talking to myself and I don’t know how to feel about that. Having said that, I am choosing to believe that I am talking to millions of you. Yes you heard, millions of you.
Last week was rough for many people myself included. All sorts of weird and painful things were happening, but if you’re reading this it’s not too late to turn things around.
It’s a new week and whatever happened last week is now in the past and no longer happening, so what would you like to do next? You can choose to hold onto it OR let go and keep sowing great things now for your future.
One way to turn things around instantly, which you can do right away, is to shift your perception on your reality.
Can it feel fake at first? Yup, but with persistence it will feel normal and this will alter your reality.
For example, many people see paying bills as a chore and a pain instead of gift that affords them the lifestyle they live. Rather than bemoan it, say thank you every time you pay an expense, because you’re effectively being grateful for the things you get to experience everyday that once upon a time was but a dream. You remember what it felt like to not have the money to pay that bill and you had to ask someone for it, well now you don’t have to. That’s a blessing.
Shifting your focus onto what is good about a situation will always bear better fruit than exacerbating an already negative situation.
Pick one thing you want to feel different about and change the story you’ve made about it. Your mind is something you can control and that’s a super power. Use it wisely, be intentional for your good and that of others.
Speaking of which: you will have a great week, receive wonderful news and enjoy being alive with your loved ones 🙂
Xo
31 Monday Dec 2018
I wanted to wish you a Happy New Year and also this:
May this new year be better than the last in every way
May this new year be filled with a thousand reasons to celebrate
May this new year make all your previous efforts worth it
May this new year cause you to create new goals for yourself as the old ones have now manifested
May this new year grant you good heath and wealth
May this new year be full of wonderful memories that you have created with your loved ones
May love abound you wherever you go
May your relationships flourish and add more meaning to your life
May your purpose be revealed and impact not only your life but the lives of others
May this new year be all that you want it to be and more.
That is my profession for you all this year.
Thank you for your continuous support and readership. Here’s to a fantastic new year ahead 🥂!
Much love Irene Xo
20 Thursday Sep 2018
Posted in Love, Thoughts in motion
Tags
belief, happiness, joy, life, living, London, Love, Marriage, Men, Motivation, Relationships, Self-care, value, Women
I just feel like you NEED to see my face lol. Vain much? Maybe…
Good morning!
I really hope you’re doing well.
I wanted to drop a quick note and ask a question: are you living life on your own terms? To elaborate a little more, is the life you’re living yours by design or other peoples design? And really think about that answer.
Over the past few months, I have been steadily unlearning a lot of ideals and thoughts that have been ingrained in me through the various paradigms I operate in, to sift out one that is actually authentically me, and doing so has made me happier and freer. I am now consciously making my own mind up about things and the (self)inflicted pressure has significantly reduced.
I realised that when I strip away everything, I already have everything that is truly important to me like a roof over my head, my family is alive and very well, a means to earn money to sustain my life, a life that I am falling more in love with, and the list goes on…all because I decided to detach myself from what is supposed to be.
You can experience this new level of freedom which will empower you to actually do more of what you love by simply asking yourself, is this really me? And if you discover that it isn’t, work through that to find what is.
Everyone’s mission in life is different and to think we should all be doing and have the same things by a set time is utterly absurd.
I’ll give you an example and I use this one because there is a huge obsession with it in this society, love.
For as long as I can remember women have been conditioned to be reliant on a man for love and value, which is damaging on so many levels.
I am constantly asked by people I know and don’t know about having a partner, which for a long period made me feel a certain way. Almost as if my life could not be fulfilling if I didn’t have one and that this was the pinnacle for a woman. They often inferred and sometimes said ‘that there must be something wrong with me’. At a point I believed them and took a long hard look at myself and altered my behaviour so I could fit. Ha. It didn’t work.
The plan for me was never to fit in, but because of the words I kept hearing (which builds faith, faith comes by hearing), I believed them over myself and what I felt. Big mistake and it cost me.
Through detaching myself from this conditioning, I have been able to replace it with one that gives to myself over and over and over again. By me for me.
Now I’m not saying burn everything and move to a remote area and don’t want or need anyone, not at all, we need connections, they help us thrive, my suggestion is simply that when you make decisions about your life, make sure it is by you for you.
Xo
26 Monday Mar 2018
Posted in Experiences, Life, Motivation
Tags
Accomplish, achieve, dreams, happiness, inspiration, Love, Meditate, Monday, Motivation, New week, success, Truth
I had an epiphany the other day that is reshaping how I think about myself now and I am hoping it will help you too.
Ever since I can remember, I have never considered myself as a success or that the things I have done have been successful because my view point is I can always do better and more. There has always been a new goal to work towards and I realise now that I could have achieved the most amazing thing and I’d never consider it good enough for that very reason.
I was in the shower when the thought came to me ‘I am a success’. I don’t know whose thought in the ether I picked up, but for some strange reason that statement permeated every part of me as the absolute truth. I AM a success.
All the ways I was/am a success came to mind, even the most unlikely of things like my job, which although doesn’t set my soul on fire, I have one. You think it’s easy maintaining a job with all its nuances that you don’t love, but still go to because it funds your real love? Sounds like a success to me- A shift in perspective.
It made me think, if I do not see myself as successful now with all the things I have done to date and who I am, what difference will it make when I achieve more and greater? When will that turning point come?
We too often qualify success on other people’s terms and find it difficult to see ourselves and all the things we have overcome and accomplished.
Give yourself some credit and spend a few minutes meditating on your achievements, especially the ones you overlook every day. You don’t need anyone but yourself to do that.
Start seeing yourself as a success now and watch you attract more of it because we attract what we are, not what we want to be.
Xo
30 Thursday Nov 2017
Posted in Life, More Action, Motivation
Typically around this time of the year we start to reflect on all that we’ve done. We look at what’ve achieved and what we haven’t.
We examine closely the things we didn’t get to do and resign to saying ‘2018’ is my year. Pray tell, how will 2018 be any different if you’re not doing anything different? You still think the same, speak the same, act the same, have the same conversations, do the same things and somehow it’ll be…different?
I want you to remember that 2017 isn’t over yet and there is so much we can still do in creating the life we want to live.
Now I don’t have all the answers but I do know a little something that might help. I learnt something recently from my mentor that has helped shape what I do now and it’s this; the work is your habits.
What do your habits say about you and your life? The state of your life is in direct correlation to the habits you have nurtured and practice on a daily basis. For example, if you work out regularly, it’s likely to be evident in your fitness, physique and mentality. Like the saying goes the proof is the pudding.
After a long day at work, like most I just want to plop onto my bed. I don’t want to do any ‘house stuff’ least especially laundry. The clothes are on my bed and I gear up to swiftly push them to the side and curl up on my bed but I pause. What does this act do for me? 1) Fosters laziness and procrastination 2) Increases workload 3) Messy space, messy life 4) Lack of clarity…you see, that ‘little thing’ isn’t worth all that comes with it, so in most cases, I’ll sort it there and then. Everything you do, is mapping out your life.
So, as you go about your daily activities today think about this, what is what I’m about to do say about me and my life? And if you find that the answer is negative, there is your starting point for you to do something about it.
Check your habits and if you don’t like the results it produces, change your habits.
Xo
