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~ To A Life Worth Living xo

lipstickandblackcoffee

Tag Archives: Happy

One At A Time

19 Tuesday Nov 2019

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Dreams

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Tags

2019, 2020, action, blogger, choice, decision, dreams, Goals, Happy, Thoughts, writer

facetune_18-11-2019-18-17-01-1

 

I really hope this post meets you well.

Can you believe we’re nearly at the end of the year? AND we’re about to enter into a new decade? Wild.

2019 so far for myself and a lot of others, has been a roller coaster of emotions and experiences that we never expected. Things like, unemployment, unplanned pregnancies, incarceration, losing friendships, losing loved ones to death, to name a few things- like I said, a roller coaster.  

I wonder if there is some sort of universal purge happening because we are entering into a new decade? What do you think?

Notwithstanding the party and bullsh*t that life can be, we still have to participate and how we do this, is entirely up to us.

Sure, we’re not in control of a lot of things, but the one of the things we can master is, ourselves. WE are huge contributors to our experiences.

With that said, I want you to think about ONE thing you want to accomplish before the 31st December 2019.

Just one. One, because when we attempt to juggle multiple things at a time the following occurs; very little gets done, you become overwhelmed with how much there is to do, causes frustration and worse than all of that, can make you stagnant.

Once you have decided what that is, close off or shut down anything that does not support the thing you are in the process of accomplishing. That might mean limiting the access others have to you, setting a timetable, changing your environment, exposing yourself to something different and so on.

Chances are, you already know what you have to do, you just don’t want to do it. Take heed to whatever messages you are receiving right now about your life, as its the very thing that will get you closer to where you want to be.

And if you don’t? Well you already know what life will look like because you are living it now. Do yourself one solid before the new year and surprise yourself.

With love, Irene x 

 

The Signs

26 Monday Feb 2018

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Experiences, Lessons Learnt, Life, More Action

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Tags

author, energy, friendships, Happy, inspire, Intentions, life, Men, Monday Motivation, New week, Place, purpose, Relationships, Space, Women, writer

Dare I say it I am excited that it’s Monday and the start of a new week! Everything that happened last week is now in the past and we have new opportunities to make good on, so go forth and prosper!

The Signs 

Energy doesn’t lie, it can’t, it just is.

I, like a lot of people am big on energy. If their energy is off, there’s a high possibility that you’ll be off too.

Over the past couple of weeks I have been MIA because something else has held my attention. By something I mean someone. They held my attention in a way that it distracted me from the things I was supposed to do. I chose to allow their presence consume a lot of my energy and not in a good way.

During this period it became crystal clear to me how important it is to align yourself with people who encourage, support and want the best for you. If this is lacking in your relationships, run. I realised that I was dealing with someone who did not have the best intentions and although it was a difficult pill to swallow, it was absolutely necessary that I realised this now than later.

One person is enough to completely change the course of your life for the better or worse, so do not ignore the signs as they are always present and there to guide you onto a better path. Will it be pain free? No. In fact you’ll probably find it a struggle to detach yourself from them, but the pain you’ll experience from that is less than what you’ll experience in the long run if you continue to entertain and have this person influence your life.

Don’t know how to gauge if this person is right or not? Here are 5 questions to ask yourself:

  1. How do they regularly make you feel, uplifted or in low spirits?
  2. Are they helping you grow or making you stagnant?
  3. How have you changed since having them around, is it positive or negative?
  4. Do they care about your general wellbeing?
  5. Do they support your ambitions with love and careful consideration?

Asking those questions will paint a better picture of the quality of the relationships you have and if it’s not good, you’re one step closer to figuring out how to change that. The one thing you mustn’t do, is attempt to change them. It’s a futile exercise that no one has the power to do except the individual in question.

Your life is your responsibility and it’s up to you to filter out the people and things that do not cultivate the life you want to lead. Make it your business to protect your space.

Xo

It’s None of My Business

17 Wednesday Jan 2018

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Life, More Action, Motivation

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Tags

Best Life, Business, friendships, Gossip, Happy, Law of Attraction, life, lifestyle, Live, Love, purpose, Relationships, Self-Conscious, Talk, Truth

The title was inspired by Mr Hotspot on Instagram, I love this clip https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fO6FkK5i6AY

It took me a while to learn how to not be so concerned with what someone else thought of me and my life and in all honesty I am still learning.

A couple of current truths about me are that I’m a perfectionist and critical which sort of means the same thing. So with anything that I do, it’s usually well thought out. The flip side to this is that I can be incredibly self-conscious and pedantic about everything!

‘What will they say? Will they judge me? What if they don’t like it? What if no one cares? They are going to hate it’

Pause…Okay, what if all your worst nightmares happen? And? Then what?

If there’s something I’ve learnt about people is that whether you’re bloody amazing or not they’re going to talk about you. Period. The only way to avoid that is to do nothing and be nothing and who wants to live like that? No one. And even still, no matter what it is, someone will find value in what you do and who you are. Social media is proof of this. The amount of times I’ve come across something I thought was absolutely insane, someone else was loving it.

So if they’re going to talk about you anyway, why not do the thing that you love to do, that you’re proud of, that makes you happy, that gives you purpose, that adds value that way you can stand by what you have chosen to do with your life, rather than feel like a fool for changing who you are and what you were doing to please others who couldn’t care less and are insistent on bringing you down regardless.

It’s not your business to worry about what others say about you and your life but it IS your business to be concerned your life and how you live it for you.

Surround yourself with those that will support and edify you and also be sure to BE the person you want to have in your life (Like attracts like).

Last thing, if there is one thing to consistently do in 2018 is to live your bestest (yes I said bestest) life!

Xo

Photo by Whole Magazine

Tips for a better mood

29 Wednesday Jun 2016

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Experiences, Life, Thoughts in motion

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Tags

Attitude, blogger, Environment, Exercise, Gratitude, Happy, life, Mood, Motivation, Music, Positive, Speaker, writer

Yesterday oh yesterday, what a pile of cow dung! In other words it was a crap day. Things were not going in my favour at all. It was one thing after the other and I eventually succumbed to the negativity that surrounded me. As you can imagine from that point onwards my judgement was skewed and everything was bigger and worse than it need be.

I had to check myself and attempt to regulate my attitude.

I find the following things helpful when having a bad day:

  • Music always puts me in a better mood. I must mention that when feeling down, refrain from listening to particularly melancholy songs as that will only heighten your bad mood. Music works because the vibration is higher and quicker, where talking at a steady pace may assist of a longer period of time, the singing, melodies and beat of song is much more intense that you are forced to match its vibration almost instantly. It will be difficult to resist the reverberation and you’ll very soon find yourself in a better mood. Try it, speak to anyone with low energy and see how they respond to you and do the opposite, notice the difference.
  • Exercise, again very similar reasoning as above. In addition to this, you burn calories, and get rid of toxic waste, and the negative energy you hold, you’ll expend.
  • Change of environment. Take a different route home, visit a place you’ve always wanted to, go to the museum, watch a play, attend an event (Eventbrite is a great website to look at), try a different type of food, do an activity that is out of the norm, it will shake things up and give you a new perspective and refresh your mind. Make a habit of introducing yourself to something new.
  • Lastly and most importantly, have an ‘Attitude of Gratitude’. I spent some of yesterday thinking about all the million and one things that I pay for and how I really wasn’t enjoying this period of my life. I walked up to my car and thought, thank God, the insurance and upkeep of the car I pay allows me to get around with ease and style, I value my independence greatly. I was walking around with a fairly expensive camera that someone had gifted to me last Christmas, I get to capture great moments and cherish them forever. My contract phone means I can communicate with my friends and family conveniently throughout the day, month, and year and the list goes on. Focusing and being thankful for the good things, aids in cultivating a more positive mind set. This is part of conditioning, the more you do it, the better you become at being optimistic and effectively productive. This also helps in building your bounce back muscles.

I hope the above gives you some things to think about doing and maybe you can come up with a list of your own.

Please do feel free to share.

XO

 

 

In the Middle of Nowhere

14 Saturday May 2016

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Life, Motivational & Intentional, Thoughts in motion

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

blogger, comparison, depression, fulfilment, give up, Happy, joy, mental suicide, nowhere, satisfaction, weird, writer

I am struggling to write at the moment, it’s been full of starts and stops, which is highly frustrating. Why? A lack of satisfaction or fulfilment maybe? I’m still figuring that out. If you are a writer or blogger of any kind I am sure you can relate.

I’m in a very weird place, sometimes I’m happy well at least I think so, and at other times, I’m melancholy. I’m assuming the latter (well hoping it is) is just a fleeting thing that will soon pass.

I am sharing this firstly for myself, its kind of like admitting that there is a problem and secondly for anyone else who might be feeling a bit lost.

My game plan for this right now is focusing my energy on the things I want to change and be better. So that would include spending more time looking at what I don’t like and the habits that created it and changing them. Being around more positive people, things, watching inspirational videos, reading books and changing my environment i.e. going to the places that make me feel better or that create good experiences for me.

One of the things I would implore you NOT to do under any circumstance is the below.

Compare

Comparison is the thief of joy.

Please

Don’t

Do

It

Comparing your life to someone else’s is mental suicide, it never ends well once you embark on that journey. Instead of focusing the energy on them and all the things that are missing from your life, channel that energy to improving the state of yours. It’s a much better use of your time and resources.

Words that I am currently doing my best to live by.

And lastly do not to give up.

The Road Less Travelled…

13 Wednesday May 2015

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Life, Travel

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Tags

adventure, Barcelona, choice, experience, Happy, leader, life, travel

I write this post on my flight to Barcelona for a quick break. 

I am travelling alone *queues song* ‘all by myseeellllffffff”yes, you heard, by myself. I’m not meeting anyone there, nor do I know anyone. I am literally entering unknown territory. Although it poses no direct dangers, it’s still a nerving yet exciting prospect-Beating to your own drum.

When I told my mum, two days ago, that I was going away by myself she exclaimed ‘Irene why? You’re so impatient, why couldn’t you wait for a friend? ‘ -_- (prior to booking the trip it had been 2 months of negotiating).There’s a reason I tell my parents last minute, because in typical parental fashion, I am bound to hear a list of what I shouldn’t do, and whys. But when it’s already done and so close to the time, there’s little that can be said to change my mind and I like it that way :). Rebel? Not really, well maybe a little bit.

Travelling alone isn’t something people from my background do often, it’s kind of weird to us and to be honest, it wasn’t my first decision. I had spoken to a number of friends about travelling together and made several attempts to find something suitable for us, but nothing seemed to work with any of them. It was either the cost of holiday or trying to match our schedules and after going through this process with 5+ friends, it became tideous  and incredibly frustrating and as my mother already mentioned I am impatient.

I was still looking at holidays to fit in with a friend and then I had a thought, ‘sod it, I’m going by myself!’. No more ‘trying’ to make it work to their favour, after all it was MY desire. To be frank, the friends in question didn’t help ease the process either *major side eye*, I still love you though lol. 
If there is one with thing I detest, it’s putting your desires and aspirations on hold, in waiting for someone to be ready or get with the programme and I wasn’t about to let that happen. I needed to be on new soil and have new experiences and that’s exactly what I was going to do. 

I must say, I was inspired by a lady I met on my last holiday in France, who told me she travelled all the time by herself and thoroughly enjoyed it. I remember thinking at the time, what a brave thing to do, not knowing that in few months time that would be me. (Ooww! my ears are popping from the pressure) 

I haven’t felt this liberated in a very long time and I find myself cheesing whilst in transit, because I actually did it! (We are about to land now). I had a couple of friends say jokingly ‘You’re my hero’ because of my choice to travel alone as it’s not something people from my area do often. 

I do hope that in reality, it encourages someone to go forth in boldness for what they want. The right time or circumstance seldom come around, you have to make it that way. No matter what or who, pursue your desires with much fervency and you will be rewarded. 

I’m here now, see you xo

Don’t you dare give up!

04 Monday Aug 2014

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Motivation, Self-Development

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

change, defining, develop, drive, friends, good, Happy, life, moment, woman

My weekend was nothing short of amazing!

It has been a breath of fresh air to say the least, not because I did anything particularly out of the ordinary, but more so because I spent it doing the most simplest of things with great people.

Sometimes, we over complicate things and in the process, miss out on many defining moments.

I had a defining moment this weekend and it was so minute I might just have overlooked it. Aside from being with good friends and enjoying myself wholly, I attended a special occasion and was moved by the people I was with. More than anything, it spoke of how far I had come from what I used to be and reiterated that you truly can achieve whatever it is that you want to.

Angry, resentful, destructive to friendly, charming and fun, imagine that. If I say it was easy I would be lying, it has been trying but extremely rewarding.

So I implore you today, whatever it is you want to achieve no matter how big or small it is, work at it now and be consistent. Consistency is key and must be exercised in order to see the kind of results that you want. If  you only give 50% once in a while, you’ll get once in a while results, if you give 50% frequently then the rate of return is higher and quicker…Capisce?

Don’t be consumed with the technicalities of doing things as that will very quickly become a deterrent for you.

It is important to not focus on the ‘how’ so much as it is more about the now. The ‘how’ will come to you as you continue to be proactive in pursuit of your goal.

Whatever it is you want to do, just begin it immediately and execute it in whichever way you know even if it turns out to be ineffective. If that does happen then guess what? You are still closer to getting it right because you have taken action. What you have actually done, is a process of elimination of how not to do it and additionally discovering how you can refine whatever it is you are doing. It’s a much better way to see it than to deem yourself as a failure. That word holds such a strong negative connotation.

The moment you procrastinate, the harder it becomes and the more you’ll end up talking yourself out of doing a great thing. It’s remarkable how once you have an idea that you almost instantaneously become extremely creative with all the reasons why it cannot be done -_-.  Humans are funny! You begin to back up your case study and draw out exhibit A-Z in support of your case. After you have done all that, my thoughts is this “and??!” just do it anyway!

I like to refer to it as telling yourself lies. We have all consistently said to ourselves “I can’t do it” “the reason I don’t feel like it can happen is” or the big one “I don’t have any money”…the lie detector determined that was a lie! If you desire it strongly enough you WILL commit to it, regardless of the circumstances.

Think of me as your sergeant “Just do it, do it, do it, DO IT, DO IT NOW!…DROP AND GIVE ME TE…” Ok I enjoyed that a little bit too much…*mumbles a sorry*

Any effort made towards your intended destination is progress, never mind how small it may be, as 20% from 0% is still a 20% increase and improvement from before-keep going!

One more thing is to not be so hard on yourself! Sometimes we are the most critical to ourselves and show ourselves no compassion whatsoever!  I used to think that if I berated myself, it would provoke me to act and do better-WRONG! It actually had the adverse effect and all it served to do is to keep me in the exact same spot. Speaking badly of yourself is not healthy and decreases self esteem. Positive affirmation leads to positive actions, speak well of yourself even if you mess up.

So, the three things I want you to remember this week is this:

  • Be consistent
  • Doing something is still better than having done nothing at all
  • Don’t berate yourself if you don’t meet a personal target, just keep going.

I bid you farewell till next time and have a fantastic week ahead!

Signed LBC

Ps Below is two of many pics taken over the weekend with a great friend. Oh and I’m the itty bitty one 🙂 I have no idea what we were laughing about but it must have been funny…Caption it.

photo (1)

Why Didn’t You Warn Me?!

Why Didn't You Warn Me?!

Why Didn't You Warn Me?! is a podcast speaking on the things you should know, but don't. The things you typically find out after the fact, and it's sometimes too late. Fear not, Why Didn't You Warn Me?! with Irene aka Lipstick, will give you the 411 through story-telling, conversations, and refreshing perspectives.

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