Tag Archives: life

Trials

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img_5527Whew it’s been a minute.

It’s not that I haven’t thought about you, I have. I think about you often and want to write. I pick up my phone, open notes and nothing. Stringing a sentence together has felt like pulling teeth and if I am honest I simply haven’t felt like it.

I know you’re supposed to push past those feelings, as that’s how you develop discipline, but in the midst of that, I have been figuring out what life is, especially after the passing of Franklin. And for a period everything seemed pointless and at times it still does.

I’m working that out though, making it make sense to me because I need it to. I do however acknowledge that the reality is I may not receive the total peace I need from this, unless I just let it go…and I’m not ready yet.

Anyway, I celebrated my birthday on Monday and it was different. I was different. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but the word calm or should I say unbothered springs to mind and I’m not sure if I like it yet (lol). I was eerily still inside.

Maybe it’s because I’m currently in a different country?

Maybe it’s everything that’s happened over the past few months?

Maybe it’s the quiet confidence they say you’ll get once you’re in your 30s?

Even with all of that I am grateful to have witnessed another year of life.

I’m saying all of this as I believe it’s important to be truthful about your experiences, not only to yourself but to others, as only then will you be able to move through them with more ease. And you never know who will find solace in your truth.

So consider this post a breaking of the seal as till the end of the year I’m going to be here, she says.

Thank you all for your continuous support and you’ll read me tomorrow xo

Drop the Weight.

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facetune_29-11-2018-17-28-34-3You know what that weight is…it’s the thing you use as an excuse for your lack thereof or mediocrity.

You hold onto it as it makes you feel justified; family, friends, job, money, resources, pretty much anything can sound like a valid reason to not have or do something.

But what you don’t realise, is that until it’s out of the way, it will continue to oppress and hold you back. You will not be able to truly see the gift that is in front of you because there are too many things that you are giving much power to.

Let it go, clean it up or clear it out.

But before even doing that, you have to make a decision.

I had been holding my mother responsible for the reason why I haven’t been able to do a particular thing well for the past few months. She was being herself and I allowed it to impact what and how I did things. I decided to make a commitment to doing better.

Making that decision alone shifted how I thought about things and ultimately how I did it. I wasn’t going to literally wait around anymore, I was going to make improvements for myself. And as usual, the universe conspires in helping you meet your goal.

If you have been holding in or onto something or blaming someone for the shortcomings that are occurring in your life, make a decision to work through them to make the things you want happen. Drop the excuses, develop discipline and hold fast to your determination to see things through.

“I am going to make a very beautiful life for myself no matter what it takes”.

Xo

On Your Team

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img_5963In case no one has told you this recently, I’m on your team!

I have many interests that I’d love to explore and maybe share, however I have chosen to use my blog for its current purpose, because I have on many occasions needed a ‘me’. And by that I mean someone who can be honest about things, encouraging and sometimes provide a different perspective.

My hopes are that my presence here bridges the gap for at least one person, that they don’t feel so alone and isolated from the world, and that somehow they can connect the dots for themselves from what they read, because with the hustle and bustle of life it’s so easy to feel unworthy, lack purpose or feel unsuccessful.

The inspiration behind this post is a friend of mine who recently started his business in men’s fashion. He was posting regularly and then he stopped.
I checked with him about what was up and he gave me an excuse as we all do. I in that moment, chose to give him a little bit of a push by holding him accountable and giving a deadline for when he needs to post by. I gather from his response that he appreciated it.

Don’t we all need that sometimes? For someone to give a shit about what we’re doing, to notice that something has changed, to care about a project close to our hearts.
It makes such a difference to have someone pay a little attention and encourage you to stay on course.

You might not have that in your lives right now but you can. To have it, you need to be it. It’s one thing to have the desire and expectation from others but to experience it you must know what it is like to give it.

Look around you today and choose a person/s and check-up on them. If you no one springs to mind, what about that person that appears to have together? The chances are they don’t. Take an honest interest in their affairs be it business or personal and be of value. Be an example, most especially if there are none.

Oh and in case you’ve forgotten already, I’m on your team!

Xo

Fumbling in the Dark

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Remember when you were a kid and you for the first time, entered a room you’d never been in. It was pitch black and although there was no real reason to be scared, you still were.
You don’t know where the light switch is, and you can hear your heart beating out of your chest. You don’t know what’s in the room, you don’t know if you’re ready for what ‘might’ be lurking in this dark place. You don’t want to be scared but your imagination is running wild.
You frantically place your hands on the wall, trying to find the switch but you can’t find it. You keep feeling your way around, moving carefully, in case you hit something that could hurt you. After a few more seconds you find the light switch and the brightness that comes next surprises you even though you expected it.

Your eyes slowly adjust and you take in what’s there. Some things you recognise as you’ve seen something similar before and some things you don’t.
As you’re now in the room you might as well get involved and get discovering. You’re still cautious because what you find could change things.

You make a plan of what you’re going to do based on your previous experience. You start looking at the things you know, with the goal of getting to what you don’t recognise uncertain of what you’ll learn. Will there be money? A toy? Something you’re not supposed to see or know? A letter? Hidden information about a family member?…

That’s life. Full of twists and turns, ups and downs, good times and not so good times, failures and successes, dark moments and brighter days and to thrive, you have to live through it.

You are not going to be able to have everything figured out all the time and this truthfully, is one of the most difficult challenges I have. I have to know everything. I need to know what and when the outcome will be and that’s thing, you cannot truly experience the best life has to offer by controlling everything. You have to free up the reigns a little bit (takes note), embrace what comes, and be present.

Xo

Ask the Right Questions

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img_4754A few friends of mine would make fun of me saying I asked too many questions.  ‘Questionnaire’ is what they’d call me.

I don’t always need to have the full information but enough for me make an informed decision; after all my brain works, why should I leave all the decision making to someone else especially when it impacts me?

I made a decision to do things completely different and set a goal for completion at end of 2019.  To achieve it will require a different version of who I have been to date.

So I started asking myself questions, questions about what I would need to do, the knowledge I need to have, the places I need to be in, the people I need to talk to, the time frame it needs to be done in, the money I’d need to invest, what I’d need to invest in, the mind set I need to have, the practices I need to change, the ones I have to adopt, what I have to cut, and so on. And then I answered them.

I pushed myself to think past the confines that I am used to and this process has put me in a completely different headspace, and for the things I did (do) not know, I research, I study, I apply it.

Too often we think others know so much more than we do and completely undervalue the wealth of knowledge, skill and experience we do have or have access to. Don’t.

Ask questions, don’t be a zombie that follows the status quo. Challenge yourself and it might surprise you in realising what you know or even what you don’t know and now know that you need to.

If you want to live a life that is completely debt free, ask the questions, do the work.

If you want to live on a beach in a tropical country, ask the questions, do the work.

If you want to have £100,000 in 1 year, ask the questions, do the work.

If you want to buy your first property, ask the questions, do the work.

If you want peace, ask the questions, do the work.

You get my drift.

It’s not about knowing everything, it’s starting with what you know that gets you closer to where you want to be; whether it’s dealing with heartbreak, making a large purchase, starting a business or having a healthy relationship with your partner.

Xo

Chasing Waterfalls

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TLC said it best.

It can be a difficult pill to swallow when you’re in pursuit of something that doesn’t want you back. No matter how much you do it simply does not want to materialise or work out how you’ve envisioned.

In that there’s a lesson; don’t force it, let it go.

It means there’s another area in your life that requires your attention, what is it? If you don’t know, look a bit closer, it’s there, screaming pick me.

Once you discover it, direct your attention to that thing. Nurture it, learn from it, grow from it. Before you know it, like a boys summer growth sprout, what you were in hot pursuit of is here.

Sometimes it’s like that. There are certain things we have to experience first and learn from before we are equipped enough to handle our other desires. In fact it’s crucial that we do, so we have less of a chance to totally screw it up!

It’s sucks, I know, but something greater is possible if you allow it to be.

xo

Don’t Forget to Exhale 

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img_3353Hey. Psst. Don’t run off to start your weekend just yet, read me, it’ll only take a couple of minutes.

I love a Friday night just like anyone else except I prefer to stay in to unwind and decompress.

If you’re a Londoner like me or live in a city where the pace is fast, it’s very easy to be always on the go, even when there’s no reason to be. Over time you can become so overwhelmed and bogged down with it all, that you just want to run away.

For some of us, a break means leaving the country, but that isn’t always necessary, you don’t have to run away. You can stay and get the peace of mind that you want right where you live.

You might have lots of ‘busy’ plans this weekend, you know the ones I’m talking about, doing something for doing something sake. Stop. Slow it down and exhale.

When I want a time out from everything (so I don’t lose my entire marbles), there are a few things that I do and I’ll share one, okay maybe two with you.

1. Be in silence

With technology being a huge part of our lives, we’re constantly plugged in from the moment we wake up to the time we lay our heads to rest.

Tonight when you get in after work or over the weekend, lay on your bed, do nothing, listen to nothing, let it be quiet so that all you can hear is white noise or the clock ticking. Don’t have your lights or anything that uses electrical energy on. Allow yourself to recharge whilst you’re awake.

In this stillness you’ll find the chatter in your head will amplify. Notice what you think about and if it’s not harmonious with your wants, gently steer it in the direction you want it go.

You can do this as regularly as you want, for as long as you want. Just be still.

2. Explore your area or an area of your choice, alone.

I do this all the time. I love exploring the places I go to, I find so many gems and have wonderful and enlightening experiences by doing so. Doing things like encourages self-sufficiency and reaffirms that I am enough and don’t require any extra’s.

img_4111Lastly (okay that’s three), eat good. You can buy or make it just as long as you enjoy it. Let it be a moment. There’s something truly humbling about being able to eat what you want. I’m sure most of us can recall being too broke to afford anything but the basics so when you eat, do not forget to be grateful.

This is one of my favourite meals from Leon’s.

Have a fabulous weekend, till next week ciao! xo

Make Believe

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Welcome to class folks. Today’s assignment is to make believe again. 

As kids we were encouraged to write stories, be creative and imagine, fast forward to being adults its “be serious, stop fooling around, you’re not a kid anymore”. Huh? How? Why?

Make believe is in my opinion a very necessary part of creating life itself. Everything we see was once a part of someone’s imagination.

I think about planes flying, watching images on TV or listening to sound on the radio and it blows my mind. These were things once unseen and unheard of, which have now become a part of our everyday life. I want us to get back to that, that space of make believe first before anything else.

And we can do this from where we are and at any time. You can imagine whatever you like, whether it exists or not, and then write it down and make it plain, even if it is only to be witnessed by you. Look past your current circumstances and freely create. Once you have, let it go. Yup, you heard me, let it go, forget about it, put it somewhere you won’t necessarily come across it every day.

Yes I know it sounds a little batty but humour me, and on Wednesday I’ll go into further details and give you my personal manifestation system (I sound like a wizard, I’m not, but it works).

Speak to you then xo

 

90 Days

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Pinch Punch its the First of the Month!

Can you believe it’s October already? How??

It must be a getting older thing, because I don’t remember time flying by like this when I was a child, but then again what did I know?

With that being said, what’s the plan for the rest of the year? Or have you given up on it? Please don’t, there is still time for you to change things around.

I get it, for some of you it has been a tough year and you just want a do over, and you can have that, but only if you want to.

It’s about choice. You get to choose how you respond to the things happening in your life, and your choices are a catalyst for what you experience next.

Having this in mind, what could you do differently to get a different result? Make it drastic, let it be so unusual for you, that it makes you feel uncomfortable and scares you a little bit.

One of the quickest ways to get better at anything is by doing more, faster. Don’t drag it out, even if it makes your stomach churn as mine is doing right now (I have a big decision to make), you’ll be better for it.

You have 90 days left till the end of year, you’ve got this!

Xo

This Is the Life We Spoke Of

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This is the life we spoke of. Don’t believe me?

How many times have you said I’m broke?

How many times have you said I hate my job?

How many times have you said My life is shit?

How many times have you said No one loves me?

How many times have you said I’ll never make it?

How many times have you said I don’t like my body?

How many times have you said I’m not good enough?

How many times have you said I don’t believe in myself?

How many times have you said I can’t do_________?

Still think you’re not living the life you spoke of?

Think of your words as your Sat Nav; the course of your life can only go where you tell it to.

Xo