• About

lipstickandblackcoffee

~ Be Live It

lipstickandblackcoffee

Tag Archives: Live

It’s None of My Business

17 Wednesday Jan 2018

Posted by I.Ephraim in Life, More Action, Motivation

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Best Life, Business, friendships, Gossip, Happy, Law of Attraction, life, lifestyle, Live, love, purpose, relationships, Self-Conscious, Talk, Truth

The title was inspired by Mr Hotspot on Instagram, I love this clip https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fO6FkK5i6AY

It took me a while to learn how to not be so concerned with what someone else thought of me and my life and in all honesty I am still learning.

A couple of current truths about me are that I’m a perfectionist and critical which sort of means the same thing. So with anything that I do, it’s usually well thought out. The flip side to this is that I can be incredibly self-conscious and pedantic about everything!

‘What will they say? Will they judge me? What if they don’t like it? What if no one cares? They are going to hate it’

Pause…Okay, what if all your worst nightmares happen? And? Then what?

If there’s something I’ve learnt about people is that whether you’re bloody amazing or not they’re going to talk about you. Period. The only way to avoid that is to do nothing and be nothing and who wants to live like that? No one. And even still, no matter what it is, someone will find value in what you do and who you are. Social media is proof of this. The amount of times I’ve come across something I thought was absolutely insane, someone else was loving it.

So if they’re going to talk about you anyway, why not do the thing that you love to do, that you’re proud of, that makes you happy, that gives you purpose, that adds value that way you can stand by what you have chosen to do with your life, rather than feel like a fool for changing who you are and what you were doing to please others who couldn’t care less and are insistent on bringing you down regardless.

It’s not your business to worry about what others say about you and your life but it IS your business to be concerned your life and how you live it for you.

Surround yourself with those that will support and edify you and also be sure to BE the person you want to have in your life (Like attracts like).

Last thing, if there is one thing to consistently do in 2018 is to live your bestest (yes I said bestest) life!

Xo

Photo by Whole Magazine

They Don’t Support Me

03 Thursday Aug 2017

Posted by I.Ephraim in Experiences, Life, More Action, Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

focus, Fortunate, Gratitude, life, Live, love, Positive, Speaker, support, writer

First off, thank you. Thank you to everyone who has ever read, commented, shared, messaged me about my posts, I don’t think I have ever really shown gratitude but I am truly grateful!

I just came across a post of someone laminating about having fake friends, the lack of support and how much they do for others but it’s not reciprocated blah blah blah. Sorry, that’s life. We’re all guilty.

My flesh and blood till date still don’t get the name of blog/company right never mind having read any of my 100+ posts and likewise I am sure there are bunch of things I don’t show my family enough gratitude for.

We don’t always get an equal return on our investment. Could you ever come close to repaying back your mother? I think not.

It’s not your business to pay attention to those that are not interested, your duty is to pay attention to those that ARE vested in you.

For whatever reason we have been wired to focus on all the negatives. We shouldn’t, especially when we are inundated with so many positives.

So what one person didn’t show up to your birthday? There were 10 others that did. Only 5 people liked your blog post, that’s 5 more people than 0. You missed your bus to get to work, at least you have a job to go to, someone else is searching for one as we speak and has bills coming out of their crack and no immediate means to take care of them. You missed an audition, okay are there not others? No matter the circumstance, there are positives, you just have to look for them and FOCUS on that instead.

Would you believe I had a car accident over the weekend worse than the one I had a few weeks ago. Yes you read right a few weeks ago. Talk about a tough break. Was I out of sorts for a couple of days? Sure I was. But guess what? I am alive as is the other driver. It could have been so different, my last blog post could have been the last one forever.

Whatever you focus on EXPANDS. You zone in on the negatives, surprise surprise more negative things come your way. Do the opposite and the same will follow suit.

Take your mind off the things that didn’t work, the people that do not support you, the plans that failed to launch, and look for the positives in all situations.

Love on those that love on you. Show gratitude to those that are there for you and do support you . Appreciate the things you do have and you’ll see that there will be more of these things.

Shift your focus, life is much better that way.

Xo

Relish the moment before it’s too late.

25 Friday Nov 2016

Posted by I.Ephraim in Life, More Action, Thoughts in motion

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Cherish, experience, Gift, Live, moment, Now, Present

I’m really trying to slide back into your dm’s but having fallen out of the routine, it’s a bit of a struggle to begin posting regularly again. Huff.

Anyway, I attended a one day course called ‘Building Resilience’, which was brilliant! I gained a lot, but my biggest take away was learning how crucial it is to be in the present moment.  

My problem is that I am never here. My mind, my presence is almost always somewhere else: I need to be at the next place, doing something else, being somewhere else, creating something and hardly ever giving great attention to what it is I am currently doing-This is not a way to exist.

So in a bid to be in the now, I have decided to make the moment big-GER! You make the moment bigger by expanding it. Break down what’s happening into little bits, more specifically bits of things to be thankful for.

  • Think about the things you have now but once wished and prayed for.
  • Think about the things you are learning and what this current period is preparing you for.
  • Think about what you have achieved already that once seemed impossible
  • Think about all the wonderful things happening around you, live in that moment and give it ALL of your attention, lest (I like this archaic word ‘lest’) you find yourself in the future reminiscing about this stage right here or even worse having not prepared for the future you want!

From doing this over past couple of days, I have experienced a new level of peace and certainty that I don’t usually have because I spend most of my time worrying about everything. It’s definitely refreshing to have that peace of mind.

Join me in resolving to relish the moment, be more compassionate towards yourself, and occasionally pat yourself on the back for how far you have come irrespective of the circumstances, as truth be told not everyone made it through to today…

XO  

Ps The featured picture is my friend (the celebrant) and I at her birthday.

Pps My birthday is coming up soon…eek!

Get A Life!

12 Monday Sep 2016

Posted by I.Ephraim in Experiences, Life, Thoughts in motion

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Advice, believe, blogger, Brave, choice, Fearless, Fit, inspiration, Jump, life, Live, Monday, Motivation, writer

Cheeky much? Hear me out though.

Are you waiting for something to happen? What is that something? Will you know what that something is, should it come along? Well, while you’re waiting for that “something”, life is happening all around you.

We all unequivocally know that life is short, tomorrow is not promised and the best time is always now, so with that knowledge why do you, yes you, not have the life that you so desire? What are you waiting for?

Yesterday I was bored and even though I had multiple things to do, it all bored me stiff. I wanted something magical to happen, something spectacular, something to excite me, that something did not come. Huff. I have great expectations of life and when they do not materialise, it is disappointing to say the least, but here’s the thing, does life only take place in your room and in your home? ABSOLUTELY NOT.

You have to get up, go out and get a life. There is so much to explore, witness, and engage in, within your community alone, what more the country or the world?! You could live till you were 1000 years old and you still wouldn’t have conquered or experienced everything that is in this life.

A few months ago I saw a woman get on the back of a motorbike, and I thought how cool why don’t I do that? I love being on a bike and whilst its usually deemed to be a “man” thing, I thought why the hell not me?  I have a penchant for living a little bit dangerously or should I say fearlessly, and in that moment I decided that I would get a bike license, after all what is stopping me? Nothing! Not my parents or friends and their opinions, or the ideas of what “someone like me” should/shouldn’t do, what is most significant is what I believe and want for myself, everything else is secondary. I recently passed my motorcycle theory test and will be doing my practical test in the very near future, if you think you can, you can.

For whatever reason, some people see a desire and think it doesn’t belong to them, that it is for a special person or group, when in fact that’s a lie. If you want something for yourself, then it IS for you, say yes to it. The one power we humans share, is our ability to achieve monumental things once we have made up our minds. Absolutely nothing can stop us, we were born with that innate quality, so make good use of it.

Go do what you have always wanted, the how is not important, the why is.

Be wonderful, be brave, be superfly!

Oh and one last thing, words stick, so speak only of the things that you want and nothing of the things you do not want. Words stick, so speak only of the things that you want and nothing of the things that you do not want. Words stick, so speak only of the things that you want and nothing of the things you do not want.

Repetition is the mother of          you can fill in the blank  😉

XO

Ps I asked a lot of questions in this post didn’t i? :s

Just live your life your way!

29 Monday Aug 2016

Posted by I.Ephraim in Dreams, Experiences, Life

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

appreciate, blogger, Doer, Dreamer, Laugh, Live, love, writer

Don’t you just love waking up on a Monday morning and realizing that it’s a bank holiday (for those of us in England), which for most people means no work today, woop woop!

I hope that whatever you do today brings you the most amount of joy and fun, life is too short so YOLO.

I think that’s one of my fears, that when I’m elderly ill regret not doing the things I wanted to do and appreciating all the wonderful things I had. To this effect I have made more of a conscious effort to do what I want and to give zero ***** about what anyone else has to say, and also to cultivate a mental attitude of not worrying. The good book says and paraphrase that worrying does not increase your years, why do it?

At the end of the day life is to be experienced, not just one way but in all ways and I think you owe it to yourself to see what’s out there. Will it be scary, nerve racking and frustrating? Most definitely! But it will also be worth it, you can quote me on that!

I really don’t want you to miss out, so I encourage you to go for it. Whatever it is, give it your best shot, your mere existence is a good enough reason to try.

You might be thinking but how? Ill tell you, be your own best friend. Okay okay that sounds corny but hear me out. If you were your best friend, what would you tell yourself? And be honest. I know what I tell myself and its that I am the sh*t and I can do whatever I set my mind to do, no one can stop me, even if I am told no. This always gives me the energy and encouragement I need to keep pressing forward no matter how dire life might be at the moment, and trust me I certainly have those moments.

So put aside all and every limiting belief and simply live, do the thing that first comes to your mind, explore, express yourself, do something that excites you, speak to that person that you’ve always wanted to do, make love (yeah I said it make love), just do it!

Right I’m off to continue cleaning before heading out again for the umpteenth time, today is my ‘Saturday’. I have been way too busy having fun and living life that well…it shows in my home ha!

XO

P.s My 18 year old brother just told me he wants to go to a carnival after party, ugh! If that’s not a sign that I’m getting on…Lord help me.

Mindfulness: Live in the now. 

25 Monday Jul 2016

Posted by I.Ephraim in Experiences, Life, Thoughts in motion

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

blogger, Gratitute, happiness, joy, Live, mindfulness, Now, peace, Present, Rich, Speaker, Wealthy, writer

We have nurtured this habit of thinking about the next thing on the to do list, the next venue, the next job, the next bill, your partner, your house, the kids, job, your parents, world issues and the list is endless. If its not that, then you might be thinking of the past, the shoulda, woulda, coulda’s. What you would change, what you should have done, and how it could have been better.
With that said how well do you relish the present moment? Probably very little or hardly at all.

We’re often absent minded while doing things and not fully engaged. As a result, we tend to miss the little nuggets of richness, joy, and gratitude that we could be experiencing at that present time.

We think of ‘living life’ as this place out of the country, on a beach, with clear blue seas, white sand, and great weather and we clamour for that moment to have that release, that yes we have (albeit momentarily), arrived.

This ideology is a damning one, because assuming that is what we do, what happens to the reality that we inevitably return back to?

Why not consider making your everyday life a more enriching and pleasurable one by choosing to see the goodness in the things you are experiencing, be it good, bad or indifferent?

In other cases, people talk about when they get ‘there’ it will all be different, but how will it be different? It’ll be exactly the same if your mindset does not change on how you perceive things. If you cannot learn to be happy, grateful and feel rich with the small things, it’s unlikely you’ll feel that way with the big things.

It doesn’t matter what changes externally, if you do not shift your perspective and operate at a new level, that is not dependant on external factors, you will undoubtedly find yourself going around in circles looking for that peace of mind and happiness.

So rather than wait for that ‘time’ or that ‘place’, make a conscious effort to relish the very moment you’re having now. Take a deep breath, look at beautiful things, be attentive to your friends and family as they speak, think about what you’re doing, enjoy each bite of the meal that you were able to buy, be gratuitous to others, yourself and the things you have. Take stock of the great things happening around you, small and big and endeavour to completely connect and engage with it.

Be mindful, be grateful and definitely be present.

Ps I’d love to hear from you guys, you can contact me at info@lipstickandblackcoffee.co.uk , speak soon xo

‘A Change is gonna come’

29 Tuesday Mar 2016

Posted by I.Ephraim in Life, More Action, Thoughts in motion

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

brand, easter, evolve, expectation, growth, happen, intention, Live, Now, passion, results

I hope you have enjoyed Easter and the bank holiday and returning to work hasn’t been the worse thing ever!

I spent my Saturday at a friends ‘Hen Do’, if I said it was eventful it’d be an understatement. Bubble football, sports day, cocktail making class, a stripp…, and lots of dancing. My body is still suffering from the aftermath of a fantastic time with great people, but anyway that isn’t the point of this post.

I have spent a lot of time thinking about my brand and the direction I would like to go in, and this is just to say, there will be some changes to follow in the next few months. I am hoping that you will still enjoy reading my posts but more so that you’ll be able to engage better.

Its necessary to evolve and I think I’m at that point of switching things up a little bit. We should always be learning and willing to grow, and I for one do not want to remain in the same place, doing the same thing and getting the same results.

If there are things that you want out of life, I hope you realise that there is no better time than now for you to make it happen. Everything you need to take you to the next stage in your life, you already posses.

Humor me, I did this the last week, I wrote down all of the assets that I have, be it physical or a quality and promised myself to make more use of them in any capacity. Do it! It might surprise you in knowing how much you have at your disposal. Anything you think might be useful no matter how small it is, write it down, then make a plan on how you’ll make better use of the things you have.

Whatever you do this week, do it with intention, passion and with an expectation.

 

Getting Uncomfortable

19 Tuesday Aug 2014

Posted by I.Ephraim in Life

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

fear, Goals, Live, Men, Mind, Women

Getting Uncomfortable

I have a burning desire to live life with as much vigour as possible, in the best way conceivable. However, I realised that if I am to do this, then it is high time that I step completely out of my comfort zone, eek!

If you want to change your life, then everything needs to change. I’ll repeat that, if you want to change your life, EVERYTHING needs to change. It is impossible to change only one aspect of your life and expect that the rest will remain unaffected. Only one master can rule and take precedence.

Assuming you are trying to become a body builder, it is not enough for you to simply work out more because your fitness is also determined by what you eat. It is not enough for you to change what you eat without adjusting your eating patterns. It is not enough for you to change your eating patterns without studying your body and how it responds to different things. Along side these changes will come a different set of people that will be like-minded if not, I can assure you that your growth will be staggered-Iron sharpens iron. Hope you understand where I am going with this…

There is a cause and effect of everything and for those good things to materialise in your life, you need to reconfigure your actions from what you use to do, to what will bring about a different result or desired change.

It is principal that you comprehend that wherever you start, is only the beginning and will need to be developed further in order to experience any quality results. Some people start something and (it’s great that you’ve started) and assume that everything will fall into place automatically because of it, it is not so. These things require consistency. As mentioned in a previous post consistency is key!

With this in mind, I have a question for you…Do you stick to what you know because the fear of the unknown is greater than the desire to change? If this is the case then you have some reconfiguring to do. Imagine if everyone was to stick to the status quo? How boring would life be? Dare to be different and take chances. The people that see the most results are those that are constantly making the effort towards their desired goal and trust me it is anything but comfortable for them. There’s no magic to it aside from being consistent and having the strong will to be relentless in pursuit of your objective.

One common feeling shared by the elderly is how they wished they did more and took more chances. All those worries they had then, seem minuscule in the grand scheme of things. Don’t wait till you’re knocking on deaths door before deciding to do what you’ve always wanted to do. Let that not be your defibrillator because it may just be too late.

I know a major part of embarking on any journey is what others will think of you, my thoughts are F’ em!(as in forget them :P). Don’t consume yourself with thoughts of what if they don’t like it or me.  When you do this, you are essentially negotiating the terms and conditions of your life based on what someone else might think of you-doesn’t make sense to afford someone else such rights. Especially when these same said people neither have the balls to do it themselves nor will they consult you when conducting their business. Why therefore should your efforts be steered towards such things? As far as I am concerned it’s none of my business.

At the end of the day what’s the worst that could happen? It’s either it doesn’t work out or you don’t like it, life still goes on.

In whichever way possible, coerce yourself into doing something different and maintain that practice. With time you will become more open minded and effectively increase the willingness to explore things. It will also aid in causing you to think outside the box.

As I mentioned in the “Don’t you dare give up!” post it serves little purpose in focussing on the ‘how’ as that will become clear as you begin and continue on. The tendency is you will get stuck if you concentrate on the pragmatics of doing something, do it however you know how.

Five things to bear in mind for this week:

  1. Get clear on what you want to do this week, let’s call it your fear factor of the week. It might be something like attending an event alone or presenting a business proposal. The best way to grow is by action. You cannot grow if you remain under the same conditions you’ve always been in.
  2. Whatever you decide on, get it done asap! Don’t wait another moment to get started, otherwise you will talk yourself out of it. Even if it’s making that phone call, sending that email or filming that video,just make a start. The sooner you start the easier it is to continue and the harder it becomes to stop, make sense?
  3. Feed it. Once you’ve started don’t leave it there, push forward with it. It’s important that you water what you’ve sown, if not you’ll lose momentum and the fear you initially had may become stronger and appear less achievable.
  4. Find someone who can be accountable for you and your goals. Preferably someone who is doing what you want to do. Oh and please don’t tell everyone what you are doing when you start out as everyone has an opinion and you can easily become deterred once they begin to give their unsolicited advice -_-. (Yes, they may mean well but it is not always helpful)
  5. Have one thing to conquer every week. Proceed onto the next thing once you have achieved it. Remember the only limitations you have are the ones you have accepted. It only takes as long as you do.

Signed LBC

Ps. I’m doing two fear factors this week wish me luck!

Subscribe

  • Entries (RSS)
  • Comments (RSS)

Archives

  • February 2019
  • January 2019
  • December 2018
  • November 2018
  • October 2018
  • September 2018
  • August 2018
  • July 2018
  • June 2018
  • May 2018
  • April 2018
  • March 2018
  • February 2018
  • January 2018
  • December 2017
  • November 2017
  • October 2017
  • September 2017
  • August 2017
  • July 2017
  • June 2017
  • May 2017
  • April 2017
  • March 2017
  • February 2017
  • January 2017
  • December 2016
  • November 2016
  • September 2016
  • August 2016
  • July 2016
  • June 2016
  • May 2016
  • March 2016
  • February 2016
  • January 2016
  • December 2015
  • November 2015
  • October 2015
  • August 2015
  • July 2015
  • June 2015
  • May 2015
  • April 2015
  • March 2015
  • February 2015
  • November 2014
  • October 2014
  • September 2014
  • August 2014
  • July 2014
  • June 2014

Categories

  • Creative Writing
  • Dreams
  • Experiences
  • Fashion and Style
  • Late night
  • Less Talk
  • Lessons Learnt
  • Life
  • love
  • Manifest
  • More Action
  • Motivation
  • relationships
  • Thoughts in motion
  • Travel
  • Uncategorized
  • Young and Dumb

Meta

  • Register
  • Log in

Blog at WordPress.com.