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~ Be Live It

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Tag Archives: London

I Could, I Should, I Might?

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Posted by I.Ephraim in Experiences, Lessons Learnt, Life, More Action

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Aha Moment, Apartment, belief, Better, Black Coffee, choice, Confusion, decision, Direction, energy, fear, growth, House, inspire, life, Lipstick, London, Mistakes, Oprah, Progress, progression, relationships, Rent, Stress

cc5a9b14-ac0b-48cd-87a3-7f751557ba9eI have been doing it so wrong for the past year and I knew better.

Isn’t that the worst? When you know better yet you’re not doing better and for whatever reason you can’t figure it out.

I have had a bunch of things that I wanted to achieve and acquire over the past couple of years which technically isn’t a problem. The distinction here is that I had no clarity on any of it. I would umm and ahh over everything, and I do mean everything.

I couldn’t decide if I was coming or going. Do I want to live in London or Manchester? Do I want to travel to a different country and work there or stay here? Do I want to buy a house or rent one? Do I want live in an apartment or a semi detached house? Do I want this type of job or to not work in this field at all? Do I want to be in a relationship or not? And this conversation continued in almost every area of my life. It stayed that way up until recently when I had a durh or as Oprah would say an ‘aha’ moment.

No wonder I had been stressed out and felt utterly unaccomplished, I had no idea what I truly wanted. I flip flopped out of fear of making a decision that would cost me. I didn’t want to unduly suffer again for a terrible choice I made, but guess what that meant? I didn’t do anything.

I had no clear sense of direction and therefore could not confidently take action towards anything, and that ultimately resulted in little to no result.

The lesson here is if you’re in a period of confusion and not knowing what way to go, just pick one. We spend a lot of time trying to avoid past mistakes but sometimes that leads to inaction and frustration, not to mention wasted energy.

The point of living is to live and that cannot happen if you’re second guessing everything. The only thing happening by doing that is building fear muscles and we certainly don’t want that.

Get clear on what you want and stick to it. It’s almost impossible to move forward without having an idea of what it is you want, how do you expect the universe to help you out when you keep giving her mixed signals?

Take a chance today and make a choice. Even if it doesn’t work out how you imagined, you still would have learned something you didn’t know before and that believe it or not is progression.

Xo

Life On Your Terms

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Posted by I.Ephraim in love, Thoughts in motion

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belief, happiness, joy, life, living, London, love, Marriage, Men, Motivation, relationships, Self-care, value, Women

img_4076

I just feel like you NEED to see my face lol. Vain much? Maybe…

Good morning!

I really hope you’re doing well.

I wanted to drop a quick note and ask a question: are you living life on your own terms? To elaborate a little more, is the life you’re living yours by design or other peoples design? And really think about that answer.

Over the past few months, I have been steadily unlearning a lot of ideals and thoughts that have been ingrained in me through the various paradigms I operate in, to sift out one that is actually authentically me, and doing so has made me happier and freer. I am now consciously making my own mind up about things and the (self)inflicted pressure has significantly reduced.

I realised that when I strip away everything, I already have everything that is truly important to me like a roof over my head, my family is alive and very well, a means to earn money to sustain my life, a life that I am falling more in love with, and the list goes on…all because I decided to detach myself from what is supposed to be.

You can experience this new level of freedom which will empower you to actually do more of what you love by simply asking yourself, is this really me? And if you discover that it isn’t, work through that to find what is.

Everyone’s mission in life is different and to think we should all be doing and have the same things by a set time is utterly absurd.

I’ll give you an example and I use this one because there is a huge obsession with it in this society, love.

For as long as I can remember women have been conditioned to be reliant on a man for love and value, which is damaging on so many levels.

I am constantly asked by people I know and don’t know about having a partner, which for a long period made me feel a certain way. Almost as if my life could not be fulfilling if I didn’t have one and that this was the pinnacle for a woman. They often inferred and sometimes said ‘that there must be something wrong with me’. At a point I believed them and took a long hard look at myself and altered my behaviour so I could fit. Ha. It didn’t work.

The plan for me was never to fit in, but because of the words I kept hearing (which builds faith, faith comes by hearing), I believed them over myself and what I felt. Big mistake and it cost me.

Through detaching myself from this conditioning, I have been able to replace it with one that gives to myself over and over and over again. By me for me.

Now I’m not saying burn everything and move to a remote area and don’t want or need anyone, not at all, we need connections, they help us thrive, my suggestion is simply that when you make decisions about your life, make sure it is by you for you.

Xo

Being 30

29 Friday Jun 2018

Posted by I.Ephraim in Lessons Learnt, Life, Motivation

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Age, Birthday, Desire, Friday, Goals, Journey, London, Motivation, Number, Quit, Society, Target, Thirty, Time

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At 22 I made a video with my then boyfriend (not that kind of video, ya nasty) about what I wanted to accomplish by 30. Unfortunately I do not have the video to refer back to as he deleted it when we broke up- salty.

Anyway, I remember having such grand plans of what I wanted my life to look like and the accomplishments I should have by the time I turned 30.

L-O-L

My life is nothing like I had envisioned. It’s great just different.

For years leading up to it, I was incredibly conscious of that target to the point of sometimes crippling anxiety. I’d think about turning 30, and palpitations would follow with a sense of foreboding ‘I am not going to do everything am I?, I’m failure if  I don’t make my goals, all my peers are getting along nicely, there must be something wrong with me…’ and the constant head chatter would regurgitate itself every so often.

Then there were the advice from those in their 30’s, talking about how amazing it will be and how much you’d enjoy it. Their opinions were met with my dubious side eye, raised left eyebrow and pursed lips “sure”.

But here I am 6 months into being 30 not having achieved all of my previous goals and thinking what was the big deal? Life hasn’t come to a halt because things didn’t go according to my plan and it also did not require me to stop working towards them just because I’m 30, in fact quite the opposite.

I have opted to continuously recommit myself to, well, me, in every aspect and there’s no age limit on that-it’s entirely up to you.

Don’t limit yourself. If things don’t work out as planned, oh well, it’s not the end of the world. Keep going, take a step back if you need to, but simply don’t quit.

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Xo

Are You Sure You Want This?

12 Monday Mar 2018

Posted by I.Ephraim in Experiences, Lessons Learnt, Life, Motivation

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Commute, inspire, life, London, Monday, Motivation, Reality, success, Test, travel, Truth

Sunday night I say my prayers, set my intentions, I feel good and I go to sleep.

Before 8 am this morning, I had 2 unexpected things pop up with a promise to throw me off track.

I say to myself ‘It’ll be fine, I’ll handle it’.

I jump in the shower and as I scrub myself I suddenly remember one of the intentions I had set the night before: ‘I want to strengthen my mind (positively)…’. It dawns on me that those 2 “pop ups” were a part of my “mind strengthening training”. I laugh at the physical representations of it and mentally accept the challenge.

What is the challenge? Don’t lose my shit, maintain a good attitude and alter the way I do and respond to things to further develop my character.

Anyway, I have work to get to and I must be there for 9 am. One of the managers is up my crack and onto me and I’m never one to fall back from a challenge and I like to prove points, so like I said I must be on time.

I leave out and I’m doing okay for time. I arrive at the closest underground station to me and there’s 100’s of people at the top of the escalators. The Jubilee Line has a fault. Now if you know me, you know commuting is one of my least favourite things. I think I vocally complain about it at least once a week so this is not good and like I said I HAVE A POINT TO PROVE (wtf is the universe ignoring me?). We’re all hanging around waiting to be told that service will resume. It doesn’t. Instead they tell us the line has been suspended both ways. Feck.

By this point I am teetering on resorting back to my usual reaction to situations like this. I can feel the urge coming up from my stomach creeping up on me, but I utter no words for fear of undoing my efforts. I won’t go out like that. I plan another route to get to work.

Upon arriving at the alternative route, I walk down the stairs looking towards the platform to see if the train has arrived as it’s due now. I see the train is there, but it hasn’t quite pulled up to the full length of the platform yet. That’s odd. I overhear a bystander tell someone something about the train but I only caught bits of it, so I asked her what she had just said.

‘A person has jumped in front of the train’. What?! Okay, this is too much mental strength training for me in one morning. You mean to tell me a likely dead body is somewhere underneath this very train I am looking at? It deeply saddens me and my eyes well. Whoever they were, was in so much mental turmoil and pain that they couldn’t bear the thought of living another day. If you’ve ever been depressed or suicidal you know just how much of a battle it is.

I attempt to say a prayer for them ‘I hope they have peac…’. I don’t quite finish the sentence or really know what to say. Can a person who took their own life have peace in death? What about the afterlife? Is there really an afterlife? Too much to think about. There goes my morale.

I eventually make it into work 2 hours and 50 minutes after I left my house, for what usually is a 1 hour journey door to door. Time: 10:50 am. Oh, have I mentioned I’m a contractor so every hour counts…fun.

Don’t get me wrong I know some of the above pales in comparison to things others have to deal with, but this is what’s mine.

I share of all of that to say this: Be aware of what you are asking for and what you want.

You usually hear be careful what you ask for, but I think it’s equally important to be aware of it, because whatever you want or ask for, you will be tested by it and if you are unable to recognise it when it comes, you’ll abuse and lose it.

Being aware puts you in a better position to readily succeed at, improve and appreciate the thing that you have asked for. It also helps to manage your expectations. For example, some women want husbands that are rich. Nothing wrong with that right? Except the reality of that might look like him working long hours, travelling the world, being available to his work responsibilities 24/7, missing important dates, forgetting important dates, and so on. Being wealthy usually comes with huge responsibilities and yes the payoff is nice but at what price?

You want to be a world class athlete? That’ll mean changing your diet, knowing every single ingredient in your food and its properties, being disciplined, limiting social outings, training every single day, and the list goes on.

Get my drift?

I wanted to reinforce my mind to be steadily positive and what I have been faced with are things to build more of a resistance to negativity or things not going as planned and because I am aware of this, I can effectively adjust to meet this need. Will I always do right? Um no. But I can always do better.

So, what have you asked for? Is it here? And how are you rising to the occasion?

Xo

For anyone who’s in need, please help yourself here.

In All Honesty…

02 Friday Mar 2018

Posted by I.Ephraim in Experiences, Less Talk, Lessons Learnt, More Action

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author, Commitment, Consistency, Feel, Friday, Honest, life, London, Practice, Progress, relationships, Repetition, Skill, Snow, Speaker, success, Trials, UK, Work, writer

I’m just going to come out and say it. I’m shit at keeping up.

I am not a routine person at all and need free reign to, well, freely reign over whatever I so wish. I like to hibernate from time to time and ruminate over my issues and thoughts in perfect peace and having to be visible disrupts that. Schedules to me are a constriction and only further incite the rebel in me. But, as my mother would say, man cannot live by bread alone and in this instance I cannot be without discipline and consistency as those are the springboards to success.

My relationship with posting is shoddy to say the least. I go through many peaks and troughs with it that I can only imagine for you is meh. *Whispers* If truth be told it’s an absolute miracle that I have been “blogging” for nearly 4 years!

So here is what I am going to ask of you, hold me accountable. No man is an island and no matter who it is, everyone needs someone to encourage or in my case push them to act. On my part I will do my best to continue cultivating discipline and be more consistent.

If there is something in your life that you know needs to improve, put the energy into doing just that. You will have good days where the progress is evident and palpable, but know that there will also be ‘bad days’ where you will want to throw the towel, bucket and sponge in, don’t. I more than anyone understands how an obstacle can come along and give you a swift kick in the shin, but continue to practice. Practice being better than you were yesterday, practice encouraging yourself, practice being disciplined in the small things so you can handle with more ease the big things, practice doing things out of your comfort zone so you can do more things out of your comfort zone, whatever it is, practice and don’t give up!

Xo

P.s How are we in March already?!

 

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