Treat it like an exam. This came to me at 7:46am this morning.
I was pondering on the how’s of a particular thing. I quickly snapped out of it like a Raven Baxter premonition because the ‘how’ is none of my business. The ‘do’ is where it’s at. And by do, that means doing it to the best of your ability. Treat it like an exam is what I heard next. My senses were piqued. Interesting concept I thought…and it’s on the money.
When you had to take an exam, you didn’t know what the questions would be. All you knew is that it would be on topics that were covered during the term time. If you were lucky your teacher would tell you the specific areas the questions would be on. But, we’ve all experienced being told one thing and looking at the paper and thinking wtf, this isn’t what you said?!
Ultimately, the only useful thing to do is to study and prepare as best you can. With the rest, as the saying goes, we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.
We’re often too focused on being masterminds when there’s only so much dotting your i’s and crossing your t’s you can do. Treat whatever you have going on like an exam; learn, practice and simply give it your best shot.
Xo
Accelerate Your Life–A Guide and Workbook to Making Richer Choices will assist you in defining and redefining where and who you are. By the end of it, you will have a map that you can rely on to quickly take you forward. And best of all, you can use it again and again and again.
33 held so much for me. I felt like I couldn’t fully exhale for a few reasons.Give or take the inaccuracies of reported history, Jesus was 33 when he ascended. My late friend was also 33 when he ascended. And a small part of me had come to anticipate that this too could be my …
The constant chatter is overwhelming. One person says this, another person says that. Your mum says it’s this way, your brother says it’s the other. Then there’s the people who love to be contrarian with no actual thoughts of their own, just adept at piggybacking off what a group of people might agree upon and finding a …
One day you’re fine, life is good and the air is filled with prospects that you could almost pluck them like the squiggly lines you see when you look at a blue sky. The following day however, you’re freezing your bits off, your umbrella is inside out and the contents of your bag have just …
Improbable–not likely to be true or to happen.I saw a TikTok of a guy doing the improbable. Getting two basketballs into a hoop using a crutch, throwing a CD into a moving Wii console, releasing ping pong balls with the aim of reaching various points and so on. It was fascinating to watch. In a different …
Joy is usually reserved for the ‘big’ moments. Moments like a new car, house, engagement, pregnancy, job and the like. It’s also solely thought of as something that is given to you, rather than something you can cultivate for yourself. This is where Little Pockets of Joy comes in. I believe in en•joy•ment of the mundane, typical, everyday stuff. Because if one day, those things ceased to exist, you’ll quickly realise how much of a gift and a joy it was to have. Enjoy– ‘in joy’, i.e to be in the joy, to be present with it, to recognise its beauty and what it is to you.
I experience joy when I get underneath my duvet and to express this, I starfish like a maniac (you should try it), simply because I can.
I experience joy when I make a coffee or one is made for me. That first sip is pure pleasure–A hug in a cup.
I experience joy when my partner buys me baked beans from M&S in Central Paris, as it’s not really a thing here. I get to have an English breakfast.
I experience joy in solitude. Quiet time for me is where my energy bar is recharged.
I experience joy when I receive pictures and videos of my nephew. To see him grow is wonderful!
To put it plainly, joy is wherever I set it. It’s available to me and you, at any time and anywhere.
As you continue your week, e(i)n-joy what seems normal and ordinary, and you might find that it’s anything but.
Sometimes, it is necessary to look back. I randomly came across email exchanges from 14 years ago. What I saw shocked, embarrassed and made me laugh until tears fell. My verbal communication was abysmal. How did anyone ever engage in written conversation with me? and furthermore why? Were they nuts?! I didn’t go looking for …
Treat it like an exam. This came to me at 7:46am this morning. I was pondering on the how’s of a particular thing. I quickly snapped out of it like a Raven Baxter premonition because the ‘how’ is none of my business. The ‘do’ is where it’s at. And by do, that means doing it …
The New Year is fast approaching, and it’s the time many people begin to reflect and go over the year. It’s at this point that people panic and have great anxiety over what they did or didn’t do and resolve to do better…in the new year.Why wait, when you can get a headstart now. One …
Promise– the quality of potential excellence.Possibilities– a thing that may happen or be the case. That we get to be here and experience a new week full of promise and possibilities is magical. I love that for us. Who knows what wonderful, delightful thing may happen to and for us. The promise within that, makes me …
I cannot remember the last time I decorated my home for Christmas. My family, at least the younger lot, aren’t fussed with Christmas much to my dismay. How and why don’t you love it?!?
Keeping up the Christmas cheer when others around you are not enthusiastic about it, has been challenging and ultimately demotivating. As a result my festive spirit waned over the years. Bah hambug!
This year is different. Maybe it’s because I’m away from home and in a new home, but I decided that given everything that has happened, creating a little joy in our place was necessary.
Saturday was the first day of the non-essential shops reopening, and having spent the last few weeks only going to the supermarket and straight back home, I was itching to get out and do other normal things, albeit with a mask on.
We spent the day deciding on Christmas decor; should we get a white tree? a green one? a snow Christmas tree? tinsel? a Christmas plant? decorative Christmas window stickers? Yes. Yes to everything.
That evening we put the tree together. It looked small and scrawny. We spent the first few seconds after erecting the tree laughing at how uncharismatic and un-christmas it looked. Um did we make a mistake going for this tree?
Before
A can of fake snow, tinsel, glittery green and gold baubles and LED lights later, we had a semblance of healthy-ish and joyful looking tree. Results! (Still a work in progress)
After
The warm and inviting ambience the lights create as it subtly illuminates the room, gives me instant joy and is a reminder that good and wonderful things exist. I’m glad I didn’t succumb to being the Grinch this year, as 2020 really doesn’t need any help with that!
My point is mark the occasion, no matter how little or who likes it or doesn’t, curate a little joy for yourself. xo
Joy is usually reserved for the ‘big’ moments. Moments like a new car, house, engagement, pregnancy, job and the like. It’s also solely thought of as something that is given to you, rather than something you can cultivate for yourself. This is where Little Pockets of Joy comes in. I believe in en•joy•ment of the …
Successful 1. accomplishing a desired aim or result. 2. having achieved fame, wealth, or social status. The media will have you believe that houses, cars, money, having a partner, and followers are the epitome of success. We inherently know this isn’t true, yet we still uphold them as markers of significant value. We yearn to have …
When I thought of today’s word, I’d already accepted that I had very little of it. Routines and monotony are not my strong suits. And then I looked up the definition and I was surprised. It’s shifted my perspective and has given me food for thought. We use discipline to strictly imply no stick-to-it-ness, but it’s official meaning …
Ego–A person’s sense of self-esteem or self-importance.A slippery slope or protective armour? I’d it’s both. It’s also described as the part of the mind that mediates between the conscious and the unconscious and is responsible for reality testing and a sense of personal identity. The ego is accused of many things, namely in negative outcomes, …
My next post is titled ‘Navigating Your 30’s’ and I thought before I drop that, I’d repost an oldie but goodie from 2017. I wrote this in the days leading up to my 30th birthday, and much has changed, with me that is.
For now, a quick refresh on things to know in your 20’s and at any age for that matter.
“Continuing on from my last post on Sunday, here are the next 10 things I have learnt in my 20’s:
Not everyone’s opinion matters, in fact yours is the most important. And if yours is self-depreciating then you need to remedy that immediately effectively.
Heartbreak hurts like a bitch, but one day you will be better. I was in love with someone for years and I honestly thought my little heart will never mend. It did. Now, I look back and laugh (cackle) at how dramatic that period of my life was. It was also one of the biggest teachers I have ever had.
Don’t be okay with the okey doke. If you believe you can have different, then go for it irrespective of what people say or the environment you are in. Many Greats started at the very bottom.
For my ladies, you can say no to sex if you don’t want to. Men, you don’t have to sleep with a girl, you control your membrane. Society might encourage that behaviour but for us all it is okay to say no, not today. The opposite is also okay too. But do so with caution and sense
Let go. It requires way too much to hold on.
Cut and or reduce communication with those that do not add to your life. Honestly, the power is in your hands. You absolutely have a say in who should be in your life and who shouldn’t. It takes one person to ruin your life, don’t let that happen on your watch
Travel. If it’s your thing and even if it’s not, a few visits to new places won’t hurt you, it’ll enrich your life.
Work on your discipline. To live the life you want will require sacrifice and discipline, otherwise years will go by and nothing in your life would have changed.
Think carefully about what you want your future to look like and start to work on it now.
People will let you down, repeatedly and you’ll do the same to others. Its life, nobody is perfect, don’t beat yourself up about it (I’m working on this as we speak), just do better.
I hope you find some of the 10 tips useful, what are your tips?
When the sky cries and the sun smiles, a ray of colourful light is a reminder of their alliance; to dance always. Easeful–Providing comfort or peace.Nature gives me that. It works in order, at its own pace void of who, what, where and when. Trees do not struggle to grow nor wonder how will they grow, …
1.11.21 I love the first day of the month, especially when it lands on a Monday. For each day this week I’ll be posting a word to ponder on. Today’s word is:Detach 1. disengage (something or part of something) and remove it.2. leave or separate oneself from (a group or place). For me, this means letting go of …
I made myself stupid. Hear me out. Years ago, because of an unhealthy level of expectation I placed on myself (which stemmed from comparison), I would harshly judge what I said and how I said it. I would go over every minute detail and pick myself apart mentally, with the underlying message being you’re not …
This episode is about my experience of being a Black Brit who moved from London to Paris in a pandemic. I discuss having covid, language barriers and general challenges of integrating into a new society.
You see the nice clothes in your wardrobe that you are saving for a ‘moment’ in your life? Wear it, because being alive is THE moment.
The business you’re waiting for the right time to start because money, resources, and support isn’t there yet, sis, sir, those things will come, but you have to make the first move.
The relationship you’re afraid of committing to because of the hurt you’ve experienced in the past (emphasis on ‘in the past’), well, it is time to move on. I mean hello?! Life is short! Live a little lot.
Psst. Come closer. I took a risk in a romantic relationship this year and I’m rich bitch! in love that is, not money. Money? Pffftt let’s just put an asterisks there.
The house you want that you’ve considered a fantasy, man make the call, find out what you need to do, arrange a virtual tour, hire a financial adviser, speak to the bank, yes now, even in these uncertain times, because eventually the tide will change and you will be ready.
The life you have dreamt of creating in a new country but now seems impossible, do not abandon the dream! Get online, research, apply for the visa, YouTube is your friend and go for it!
The body that you want, first of all, love yours and then make adjustments. You cannot truly have what you do not first feel, no matter any physical alterations you may make.
During this wild ride of 2020, I have seen people buy homes, move across the world to start a life with their fiancé, get married, secure new jobs, make the most amount of money they have ever made, sell out of products multiple times over, you name it, its happening. And it could be happening for you.
There will always be ‘something’ and or a thousand reasons why you shouldn’t, couldn’t, wouldn’t, the good thing is, you only need one reason why you should. Take that leap, or at least hop.
Xo
P.s I have exciting news to announce soon. You’ll be hearing my voice, wherever you are in the world eek! From pen pals to ASMR. Can’t wait!
Nothing is more important than what you choose to do with the breadth of your life. To not forgive is to rob yourself of a life you deserve. …but alas it is you that has been sentenced to a life in prison. Unforgiveness* is a treacherous con artist because it deceives you into thinking you’re …
A video of Kim K came across my sight over the weekend. It was her on SNL. I watched it and it dawned on me that I have no idea what she and her family were up to these days. It’s fascinating what can change once you set your eyes on something entirely different. I regularly …
I visited the Musée Yves Saint Laurent on Sunday and was re-energised by what I saw. For the designer, it was more than just clothes that looked good, it was art, curated by passion, breaking moulds and forging new ways to be seen and felt. As I perused his wears, studied the fabrics, observed the …
The feeling of a crisp Monday morning cannot be replicated by any other day of the week. It’s full of both promise and dread in equal amounts. What will it bring? What will I have to tackle? What joy will I experience? What task might feel too great? And whilst you marinate on it, you’ll …
I have been willing myself to complete a post for weeks now to no avail. Five different topics with a beginning, a middle and no end. Huff.
As I finished writing that last sentence, a thought came to me to just post one as is, and that’s what I’m going to do.
Too often we let perfectionism block and stop us from showing up, believing that we have to present a completely finished & polished product, and truthfully we don’t. What’s much more revolutionary than that is being your authentic self and simply showing up the best way you know how, rough edges and all.
So here is one I started a month ago and haven’t edited or completed. And maybe I will, maybe I won’t.
” Remove and Replace
Whatever expectations you’ve had for your life for the last few years or decades, perhaps it’s time you let up and release them.
We can get so caught up in what we think it should be and forcefully try and make things happen, that we actually miss out on the opportunities right in front of us.
That doesn’t mean never getting the things you want, it’s more about adjusting your lens to capture what already exists and making it better.
I was having a conversation with a friend about life and its fragility and because of that, again I thought are can we really afford to get stuck on the things that haven’t worked? to hold grudges? to wallow in self-pity? to allow negativity? Sure, its easier said than done. And yes it’s something to be practice and there is no time like the present.
So many of us give up on the first try, because we’re so stuck on how we envisioned it happening that we haven’t stopped to consider other options.”
My three biggest takeaways so far for 2019 are patience, trust and humility. I have had to exercise these qualities in various amounts, sometimes all at the same time. It is testing, but growing.
Growing. I wonder if people understood what it meant, whether they’d still want to grow? We say it all the time, “I want to continuously grow and develop”, the reality of that is a lot different to those few words. It can be painful, especially if you resist the change.
If you are in that transition period, here are some things that can make the growing pains easier on you:
DON’T:
Resist the change. Forcing it to go your way is only going to cause you more strife. Relax.
Do not constantly repeat your problems to anyone within earshot. You only exacerbate the situation and deepen the attachment, which tends to be negative.
DO:
Do be proactive. Learn something new, invest in yourself. Standing still will only cause you ponder over what’s happening and if you’re an over thinker you’ll simply make it worse.
Let go of the shoulda, woulda, coulda’s, it’s regressive.
Go with the flow.
Keep going, however you know how. It will improve.
Exercise patience. Wanting it to be over and doing everything in your might to make it so, will not make it so. Can you plant a seed today and it bear fruit tomorrow?It has to take its natural course, whatever ‘it’ is.
For the love of God, learn the lesson (lol). This one was for me, but still, I thought it might be useful for you too.
It’s been a little quiet over here and I’m starting to think that I’m talking to myself and I don’t know how to feel about that. Having said that, I am choosing to believe that I am talking to millions of you. Yes you heard, millions of you.
Last week was rough for many people myself included. All sorts of weird and painful things were happening, but if you’re reading this it’s not too late to turn things around.
It’s a new week and whatever happened last week is now in the past and no longer happening, so what would you like to do next? You can choose to hold onto it OR let go and keep sowing great things now for your future.
One way to turn things around instantly, which you can do right away, is to shift your perception on your reality.
Can it feel fake at first? Yup, but with persistence it will feel normal and this will alter your reality.
For example, many people see paying bills as a chore and a pain instead of gift that affords them the lifestyle they live. Rather than bemoan it, say thank you every time you pay an expense, because you’re effectively being grateful for the things you get to experience everyday that once upon a time was but a dream. You remember what it felt like to not have the money to pay that bill and you had to ask someone for it, well now you don’t have to. That’s a blessing.
Shifting your focus onto what is good about a situation will always bear better fruit than exacerbating an already negative situation.
Pick one thing you want to feel different about and change the story you’ve made about it. Your mind is something you can control and that’s a super power. Use it wisely, be intentional for your good and that of others.
Speaking of which: you will have a great week, receive wonderful news and enjoy being alive with your loved ones 🙂