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~ Be Live It

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Tag Archives: Meditate

Nothing Lasts Forever

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Posted by Irene Ephraim in Experiences, Lessons Learnt, Life

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Frustration, God, Gratitude, Hardships, Higher Power, life, Life Lessons, Meditate, peace, Relationships, Struggle, Tests, Therapy, Trials

facetune_05-03-2019-16-28-25.jpg

Nothing lasts forever and that’s not a bad thing.

I’m in this weird I-don’t-really-know-wtf is happening phase of life. You know the one, the one where things refuse to go the way you want it to and you can’t make sense of it.

Thankfully this won’t be a forever thing. Like the good book says ‘this too shall pass’ and I am clinging to those words fiercely. And you should too.

Knowing that ‘life comes at you fast’ is why I do my best to relish the great things I experience and to find the good things during hard times.

To savour the great times here are a few things I do:

1. Be present. Pay attention to your surroundings. Notice the colours, what you see, smell, who you’re with, where you are. Use all of your senses to interact and connect with the moment.

2. Be thankful. I make seemingly small moments bigger by being grateful for the things I am able to do. I take just a few seconds to be thankful for what I’m experiencing. Things like withdrawing money, buying food, paying a bill, getting my nails done, looking at my family, using my phone. You get my drift. And in doing these things, I notice what I feel about being able to do these things and remember it.

3. Give. Whatever you are able to do no matter how small or big for another person or cause, do it. It does not have to be the obvious things like money, it could be time, encouragement, fixing something, anything you’re led to. I firmly believe that irrespective of your state there’s always something you can do.

To elevate your spirit during difficult times:

Do your best to keep doing the above.

1. With being present, look at the things you typically take for granted and are easily overlooked. Things you always have and do not struggle for and cherish it that much more.

2. Do more of the things you enjoying doing. It could be a hobby or improving a skill you have or even learning a new one. I started cooking more which I hardly did. I’ve made some meals I haven’t made in almost 5 years and I feel much better for it. The idea is to not place so much focus & mental energy on what isn’t working out as doing that only exacerbates the situation in your mind. It’s especially important in cases where it is out of your hands.

3. Meditate everyday. Make time to be quiet and still and…talk to yourself out loud (not loudly). If you believe in a higher power, talk to them instead. You can start with 5 minutes a day and use your phone to set an alarm for this session. I currently don’t use music but when I do it’s either rain sounds or spa music, however silence is my preference. With the busyness of life, having ‘you’ time to reflect and create is essential to being able to function well. Might sound unusual but it actually can be therapeutic to be your own counsellor. I always feel refreshed afterwards.

Hope this helps.

Xo

Don’t Forget to Exhale 

19 Friday Oct 2018

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Experiences, Life, Travel

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Exhale, Food, Friday Night, Gratitude, Healthy, Leon, life, Love, Meditate, peace, Quiet, Serenity, Weekend

img_3353Hey. Psst. Don’t run off to start your weekend just yet, read me, it’ll only take a couple of minutes.

I love a Friday night just like anyone else except I prefer to stay in to unwind and decompress.

If you’re a Londoner like me or live in a city where the pace is fast, it’s very easy to be always on the go, even when there’s no reason to be. Over time you can become so overwhelmed and bogged down with it all, that you just want to run away.

For some of us, a break means leaving the country, but that isn’t always necessary, you don’t have to run away. You can stay and get the peace of mind that you want right where you live.

You might have lots of ‘busy’ plans this weekend, you know the ones I’m talking about, doing something for doing something sake. Stop. Slow it down and exhale.

When I want a time out from everything (so I don’t lose my entire marbles), there are a few things that I do and I’ll share one, okay maybe two with you.

1. Be in silence

With technology being a huge part of our lives, we’re constantly plugged in from the moment we wake up to the time we lay our heads to rest.

Tonight when you get in after work or over the weekend, lay on your bed, do nothing, listen to nothing, let it be quiet so that all you can hear is white noise or the clock ticking. Don’t have your lights or anything that uses electrical energy on. Allow yourself to recharge whilst you’re awake.

In this stillness you’ll find the chatter in your head will amplify. Notice what you think about and if it’s not harmonious with your wants, gently steer it in the direction you want it go.

You can do this as regularly as you want, for as long as you want. Just be still.

2. Explore your area or an area of your choice, alone.

I do this all the time. I love exploring the places I go to, I find so many gems and have wonderful and enlightening experiences by doing so. Doing things like encourages self-sufficiency and reaffirms that I am enough and don’t require any extra’s.

img_4111Lastly (okay that’s three), eat good. You can buy or make it just as long as you enjoy it. Let it be a moment. There’s something truly humbling about being able to eat what you want. I’m sure most of us can recall being too broke to afford anything but the basics so when you eat, do not forget to be grateful.

This is one of my favourite meals from Leon’s.

Have a fabulous weekend, till next week ciao! xo

My First Time

14 Monday May 2018

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Experiences, Lessons Learnt, Life, Love

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Effects, Emotions, Feelings, Hurt, Husband, Journey, Love, Meditate, Men, Pain, Pray, Relationships, self love, Strength, Unrequited Love, Wife, Women

I was in love once. You never forget your first time.

I remember feeling so raw, so fresh, so fragile. What the hell is this feeling? And why can’t I get rid of it?! For someone who likes to be in control, I was way out of my depth.

…And with first loves comes first heartbreak and mine was one of the worst experiences to date, I’d never wish it upon my enemy. My mind convinced me that I will not get over it and be the same. Part of that is true, I was never the same but I certainly did get over it.

Although the pain of it is long forgotten, the effects still remain and I am continuously working on undoing it all. I have not been “in love” since, as I inadvertently made it conditional. The ones after him didn’t stand a chance, the bar was set stupidly high.

Now that isn’t to say I consistently made good decisions, I definitely did not. I did become fiercely protective over how close you could get and mastered the skill of not showing much emotion. To me, showing emotion was a sign of weakness and being vulnerable a terrible thing, but as we can see here my beliefs on that is changing slowly but surely.

Between figuring out who I was, childhood trauma, growing through adolescence, university, volatile relationships and friendships, I was a complete and utter mess. No word of a lie, you could see the struggle, pain and hardness on my face. It was a lot, but there is better. Those who knew me then to now will tell you that I’m a far cry from the young woman they first met.

Years later I can laugh at how dramatic, naive and emotional I was, I’m grateful for that valuable lesson. It’s a contributing factor to who I am today, both good and bad.

My advice for healing? I can’t put it down to one thing, it’s a combination of things. I’ll list a few practices that helped me and still do (and I use this for all things):

  1. Don’t rush the process by acting as if it didn’t happen or that you don’t feel anything. You’ll do yourself a disservice by being in denial and it will only manifest in other areas of your life in a greater way including disease. It’s that deep. Give it the space to breathe and go through the motions, it’s the only way to come out on the other side. It’s perfectly okay to admit that you’re hurt.
  2. Do be proactive in your healing. Get around your loved ones, do the things you enjoy doing, find a worthy project to direct your energy towards, write down your feelings, or get help if you need to. The aforementioned will help immensely but it won’t exclude you from forgetting or feeling the pain, it’ll be very present. You could be in the midst of doing the most exciting thing and boom, your mind thinks of them and it throws you off, keep going. With each passing day, it’ll get better.
  3. Practice self-love. Unfortunately this isn’t something we’re often taught, but the best way I can describe it is to love yourself how you would want the love of your life to love you. For example, you would want them to speak to you kindly, to encourage you, to support your dreams and help make them a reality, to treat you to nice things, to have once in lifetime experiences, to show compassion, to see you as your best self…all of that and more, do for yourself.
  4. Invest in yourself.
  5. Whether you’re a person of faith or not, pray, meditate or journal.

We should do these things irrespective of a significant other but for some reason we find it difficult to be committed to another and ourselves simultaneously. If we learn how to do this we can never lose our way, at least not for long.

Some days won’t be great and other days you’ll feel the progress, during both keep pushing forward.

This journey is full of highs and lows, respect them and they will make you a better person.

Xo

I Just Want To Be Successful

26 Monday Mar 2018

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Experiences, Life, Motivation

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Accomplish, achieve, dreams, happiness, inspiration, Love, Meditate, Monday, Motivation, New week, success, Truth

I had an epiphany the other day that is reshaping how I think about myself now and I am hoping it will help you too.

Ever since I can remember, I have never considered myself as a success or that the things I have done have been successful because my view point is I can always do better and more. There has always been a new goal to work towards and I realise now that I could have achieved the most amazing thing and I’d never consider it good enough for that very reason.

I was in the shower when the thought came to me ‘I am a success’. I don’t know whose thought in the ether I picked up, but for some strange reason that statement permeated every part of me as the absolute truth. I AM a success.

All the ways I was/am a success came to mind, even the most unlikely of things like my job, which although doesn’t set my soul on fire, I have one. You think it’s easy maintaining a job with all its nuances that you don’t love, but still go to because it funds your real love? Sounds like a success to me- A shift in perspective.

It made me think, if I do not see myself as successful now with all the things I have done to date and who I am, what difference will it make when I achieve more and greater? When will that turning point come?

We too often qualify success on other people’s terms and find it difficult to see ourselves and all the things we have overcome and accomplished.

Give yourself some credit and spend a few minutes meditating on your achievements, especially the ones you overlook every day. You don’t need anyone but yourself to do that.

Start seeing yourself as a success now and watch you attract more of it because we attract what we are, not what we want to be.

Xo

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