Tag Archives: Monday Motivation

Am I Qualified?

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facetune_29-10-2018-17-17-37-1.jpgEver had a new goal that you were super excited about?

You’re filled with the possibilities of what achieving this goal will do for you and you cannot wait to get started.

You plan and establish the actions you need to take and then unexpectedly your insecurities surface.

What if I’m not qualified?

Who said I am qualified?

What if someone thinks I’m not up for the job?

Doubts here and before you know it, it starts to feel like a pipe dream. Within moments, you have convinced yourself that you’re definitely not up for the job and resign that goal to the ‘do not attempt’ pile.

Why are we the very first to sap the life out of something? Our own worst enemy.

Do you know what qualifies those that do vs those that do not? Their belief. That’s it. Those that achieve the most, do not allow their past, failures or circumstances to dictate what they can and cannot do. In spite of it, they move full steam ahead.

You will always be better off for doing something even when it does not work out as envisioned. The trade-off is the wealth of experience, applied knowledge and skills gained, that not doing anything could never provide you with. It is also a stepping stone.

I bumped into someone I knew online through a mutual friend. I had not met them in person until this morning. We started talking about various things and he asked me whether an online series I was a part of was well thought out or improvised. What do you think I said? We winged that bad boy!

None of us really knew what we were doing, we just showed up and figured it out as we went along. In that same year of doing the series, I wrote, directed and produced my first short play. I won 2 awards for the play and a little bulb went off in my head ‘I’m a writer’, and always had been, but it wasn’t until that point, did I acknowledge myself. That was almost six years ago.

Do you think how I write now is how I have always written? Absolutely not! In the beginning, it was trash. I cringe every time I see something from the past, but I had to start somewhere, as terrible as it was.

So trust me when I say, you can do this. Little by little, step by step, piece by piece.

Xo

The Signs

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Dare I say it I am excited that it’s Monday and the start of a new week! Everything that happened last week is now in the past and we have new opportunities to make good on, so go forth and prosper!

The Signs 

Energy doesn’t lie, it can’t, it just is.

I, like a lot of people am big on energy. If their energy is off, there’s a high possibility that you’ll be off too.

Over the past couple of weeks I have been MIA because something else has held my attention. By something I mean someone. They held my attention in a way that it distracted me from the things I was supposed to do. I chose to allow their presence consume a lot of my energy and not in a good way.

During this period it became crystal clear to me how important it is to align yourself with people who encourage, support and want the best for you. If this is lacking in your relationships, run. I realised that I was dealing with someone who did not have the best intentions and although it was a difficult pill to swallow, it was absolutely necessary that I realised this now than later.

One person is enough to completely change the course of your life for the better or worse, so do not ignore the signs as they are always present and there to guide you onto a better path. Will it be pain free? No. In fact you’ll probably find it a struggle to detach yourself from them, but the pain you’ll experience from that is less than what you’ll experience in the long run if you continue to entertain and have this person influence your life.

Don’t know how to gauge if this person is right or not? Here are 5 questions to ask yourself:

  1. How do they regularly make you feel, uplifted or in low spirits?
  2. Are they helping you grow or making you stagnant?
  3. How have you changed since having them around, is it positive or negative?
  4. Do they care about your general wellbeing?
  5. Do they support your ambitions with love and careful consideration?

Asking those questions will paint a better picture of the quality of the relationships you have and if it’s not good, you’re one step closer to figuring out how to change that. The one thing you mustn’t do, is attempt to change them. It’s a futile exercise that no one has the power to do except the individual in question.

Your life is your responsibility and it’s up to you to filter out the people and things that do not cultivate the life you want to lead. Make it your business to protect your space.

Xo

SShhh Don’t Talk About It

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I just got back from a solo trip to Malta. If you have ever tried to organise a trip away with others you’ll know how incredibly frustrating it can be. After months of trying to get it together with others, I scrapped those efforts and said right I’m going alone! I didn’t tell anyone until it was all booked. It was exactly what I needed. It enhanced my confidence in myself, that I can do it alone and although it’d be nice to have a companion, I am certainly enough.

Want to do something? Do it. Don’t allow the perfect time, thing or person prevent you from making that move. I have learnt then when you go ahead, the people that are for you will come to you in due time. Whilst in Malta, a friend in London told me he used to live there and that he can put me in contact with a friend of his to take me out and that’s exactly what happened. Within a few hours I was out exploring their night life.

Another thing to do or not do in this case, is talk about it. We all know what it feels like to talk about something and it not materialise, it’s embarrassing. I’m now operating on a strictly need to know basis, not purely because of the embarrassment, but what it does is allow me to work in private without the influence of others that ‘don’t get it’. A lot of the time all talking about it does is waste energy that you really could be using to actually do it. If you have to talk about it, speak about it to people who have done it or are doing it. You have to constantly keep yourself in alignment with the thing that you’re doing. You cannot afford to speak to those who are on a completely different path, because believe it or not they have the power to derail you. Would an architect speak to yoga instructor about their project? No, unless it’s about how to practice mediation with exercise then Bobs your uncle. Now, that’s not to say they can’t provide great insights, it’s just a ground you have to tread VERY lightly-assess them by their fruits.

So, nurture your goals in private and diligently, protect your mind, get in alignment and surround yourself with people doing the work and watch your life change.

Xo

Somebody’s Watching

27 Monday Nov 2017

Posted by in Life, More Action, Motivation, Thoughts in motion

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Somebody’s watching and I am not talking about ‘big brother’.

You’re out there minding your business and then suddenly you feel warm and conscious. You look up to meet the unexpected gaze of a stranger.

Instinctively you offer up an awkward smile, but you notice that they feel more uncomfortable than you do. They were caught in the act. The act of admiring you from afar, wondering what you’re like as a person, if you have any quirks or nuances that they can pick up on, how you think, what you’re doing and so on.

Figuratively speaking there is always someone watching especially in this social media age where people can have access to you 24/7. Needless to say we have become obsessed with paying acute attention to other people’s lives, but, that isn’t always a bad thing and here’s why. People have the opportunity to learn, grow and be inspired by you, your life and your work.

I say all of that to say this; do not think for a second that what you have to offer to the world is not necessary, irrespective of how small or big it might be, somebody needs it. You have birthed those aspirations, dreams and visions for a reason and in most cases it’s not just for you.

Someone you don’t know needs what you have to offer the world. Someone you don’t know values who you are. Someone you don’t know believes you’re necessary. Someone you don’t know is rooting for you and your success. However, none of this can happen if you choose to keep who you are to yourself.

Now this isn’t a call for you to immediately put your life on full blast for everyone to see, simply an encouragement to stay committed to whatever you believe your purpose is. One of mine is this here blog. I have considered shutting this site down a trillion times, but my gut feeling won’t let me. It reminds me that it doesn’t matter whether or not there are hundreds of readers, just do the work. Whatever happens once I press publish is not my business (I mean it is but you know what I mean), I have done what I am suppose to do and until I feel led otherwise, that is what I’ll continue to do.

And yes, sometimes the things you do on the surface won’t make sense or you might feel that it is not valuable, however if you are certain that this is what you’re meant to do then it’ll work out either now or later. Learn to trust the timing of your life as it is never late or wrong, it’s just right for you.

IMG_2890 My nephew and I.

…And keep up the good work xo

P.s I hope your week ahead is full of sparkle, miracles and constant good news!

A Perfect Lie

20 Monday Feb 2017

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We have got it so so wrong.

I love it when I have an epiphany that I know will revoluntionise the way I think and operate. We have been sold this illusion that we are supposed to have ALL our shit together and that if we don’t, we are failures. That is a bona fide lie!

No matter who they are in this life, whether it’s your parents, friends or someone famous, everyone has a thing or two that isn’t quite ‘right’ in their lives. Should this make them less of a person? Absolutely not!

For the longest while, I have wrestled with needing to be perfect and to be perceived as being in complete control, to the point that when things did/do go left, I would hide and isolate myself because I didn’t want my ‘failures’ to be seen. This thinking alone can be a contributor to depression; I know it was for me in 2012.

You look at the media and idealism is being plastered everywhere. You look to your friends and family and they may also be cocooning their struggles which results in you feeling like you are all alone and that you are the only one that can’t get it right-WRONG!

The truth is we’re all figuring things out, even those we deem most successful. Consider yourself amongst good company if you find yourself in a financial bind, so was Simon Cowell. Maybe it’s that you suffered abuse, so did Oprah, or you were fired from your job, so was Steve Jobs. You don’t have to look far to find that even those closest to you have had some really tough breaks. Will you respect them any less because of it? I doubt it. In spite of it all, they thrived. Don’t beat yourself up that your life isn’t yet what you want it to be, or feel bad that the choices you made didn’t quite pan out, instead let those experiences further shape you, because at the end of the day,

Stuff happens

Nobody is perfect

So what you fucked messed up?!

So what it’s fucked messed up?!

You are not less than

You are human

…like the rest of us

Xo

P.s I hope you really heard what I said today, nobody is meant to be perfect, find peace in that. Perfect is boring anyway.

 

A Dry Spell

13 Monday Feb 2017

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img_0222

I bought these flowers last week and a day or two after getting them, I started to think ‘erm, are they broken?’ (I’m impatient remember and currently in rehab).

None of them were opening up, but I left them anyway. Slowly, one by one they began to bloom.

It reminded me that there is a process to everything and how crucial it is to be patient, lest (I feel so fancy using ‘lest’) you miss your time to shine.

Do not prematurely abandon your ship, in hopes of ‘making’ it on someone else’s or resorting to ‘it just isn’t for me’ quips. Without you, it will not reach its destination and neither will you. If you believe in it, deep down in your marrow, then continue to nurture it, no matter what anyone has to say.

Give it time, let your intuition guide you, and exercise patience- a lot of it.

Xo

P.s Patience is quiet, steady perseverance; even-tempered care; diligence.

 

Pain now, Gain later

23 Monday Jan 2017

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What’s stopping you? Is it fear? Is it the work? Is it the lack of discipline?

For me, it is the pain of doing the work. The difficulty or should I say, the idea I have built in my mind of how difficult something is or how long it will take, is one of my stumbling blocks. I’m sure you have gathered by now that patience is not one of my strong suits. The irony is once I’ve done it, I say to myself, ‘Is that it? What was the big deal?!’.

You have to think of it this way, do the work now so that you can enjoy later. I love studying people (my favourite pastime) and when I looked at a lot of successful people, many of them were still reaping from what they sowed years and years and years ago. They are harvesting from the work, graft, grind, that they also found difficult to do at the time. Wouldn’t it be great to have something that continues to bear fruit in your life, years after it’s been done?

Let’s take a singer-songwriter for example. They wrote and performed a song, 10 years ago. When that song gets used in an advert, they get paid and recognition from it. When it’s used in a film, they get paid and recognition from it. Someone does a cover, they get paid and recognition from it.  This is all from one song that they created, in a room, spent hours recording, fine tuning, staying up late, perfecting the performance of it, creating a video for it, doing interviews to promote it,  and all the other host of things that come with being an artist. These are some of the pains, which later became profitable.

It could be anything in your life, getting a new job, reenergizing a relationship, clearing your debts, making an investment, learning a new trade, weight loss, producing content for YouTube, writing a book, a social enterprise, raising a family, anything worth having does not comes easy or overnight. Without doing the work, none of these things will materialize. It’s the natural order of life, sow first, reap second.

Like my mentor says ‘Do what others won’t, to get what others don’t’.

Xo

P.s I am doing the work too, albeit begrudgingly grrr.

The One…

22 Monday Aug 2016

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Ha! You thought I was going to write about that special person? Nuh uh, not today. Although I am going to speak about being “the one”, the one who can make a difference.

We severely underestimate the effect we can have in our environment, in our lives, on the people around us, to a situation, to a task, in our families, with our friends, to anything, and as a consequence we act accordingly and do nothing instead.

No sense in trying if you believe that your input will not make a difference right? WRONG! Every little thing is quantifiable and in a great way too.

We think of it as being someone else’s gift or power, and that we are somehow void of any kind of talent or gifts. You look at all the other people who achieved things and deem them as being “special” or the “chosen one”, what a load of nonsense!

EVERYONE has something to offer, you just need to understand that what you have will not be everyone’s cup of tea, and that’s perfectly fine. It doesn’t mean you’re less valuable or necessary.

I sometimes get caught up in thinking that I am not enough that I need more. More resources, more connections, more friends, more money, more experience, a bigger audience, someone to believe in me, a team…Yes, the list is endless.

I have to stop and remind myself that I am well equipped to do it, whatever it is. I have to believe that what I need, will find me along the way. The most crucial element however, is that I begin and that I begin now!

Mo Farrah, Adele, Simone Manuel, Bill Gates, Usain Bolt, Elon Musk, Oprah, Serena Williams, Naomi Campbell, Jamal Edwards, Yeonmi Park, Richard Branson, Jack Ma are a handful of people that I am certain have been told numerous times that they won’t amount to much, that they have nothing to offer, that their background determines who they can be and so on, yet I know every single one of them because of their gifts and their story.

They chose to press forward notwithstanding the negativity and the obstacles and because of that, we have the pleasure of learning from them, being inspired by them or using their services and products, so don’t you dare think for one second that you are not capable!

Nothing will come to you if you sit in your house mopping or continuing on with mundanity of life, you have to switch it up and try something new. Opportunity or a chance to stimulate change will not come knocking on your door. You have to get out there and do something. Your action jump-starts a series of chain reactions of hopefully better things to come.

Believe in yourself, nothing is too small or too big, every little helps.

All it takes is one person and why can’t it be you?

Time is of the essence ‘cuz tomorrow is not promised

01 Monday Aug 2016

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I need another weekend to recuperate from the weekend that I have just had. I went from not having much to do, to 2 weddings and one of them ending in me returning home at 4 o’clock in the morning. 

In making the effort to be present, I have felt a greater sense of gratitude.

It’s hard not to be grateful when you still have your mother who is alive and well, when you have a roof over your head and your own personal space, when you have friends that love you and want to be in your company, when you have full control of your body, when you can celebrate with people who have found love, young and old as they walk down the aisle, when your talented sister does your hair wonderfully at no extra cost, when your brother gallantly welcomes you and always has a smile on his face, when you suddenly get dragged into a ring full of people to dance and you begin to do so awkwardly with your friends all the while laughing your head off, when you see your friend who has not been her usual vibrant self, come to life and shake all of what her mama gave her, when you recall the family and friends who have supported you financially without a second thought, when you’re able to spectate on the sunset as you drive home with your family… these are only a few of the things that I feel blessed to have witnessed and embrace. 

Sadly, some people have walked out of their house this morning with every expectation that they will return home, they will not. Some do make it home, but not in the same way, their lives will be changed forever. How haughty of us to believe that everything will be same and that things cannot take an unprecedented turn for the worse? For this reason, it is vital that we appreciate what is before us, from the little things to the big things, in the good and also in the not so good. 

Pause:

In the midst of writing this, I began to feel frustrated, sad and irritable due to external factors and I could not feel or focus on what I was writing. I took a break and looked for something that inspired me, a virtual mentor. As I went through their communication and interaction with the world, I started to feel a calmness move over me and I was reminded of my purpose and that things will be just fine.

It is important to be aware of what is happening with you and to have proactive measures to restore your mind and also your body. I thought I’d share that with you, because, well, I’m human 🙂 . 

Play:

I looked on social media and was faced with an array of horrific news of losses that had occurred over the past couple of days, I was deeply sadden and I sympathise with those suffering. 

What I wish to convey here, is a sense of urgency, to relish every good thing and moment while it is with you. Sorrying and I wish’ing later on, changes nothing.

Here, now, the good, the bad, the small, the big, find a way to see the positive and the upside to what is happening because need I say it, tomorrow is not promised.

Put on the biggest pair of rose coloured glasses if you must and let it affect what you do, how you do it, and the people around you.

Take nothing for granted.

 XO

 

Nirvana on the other side

20 Monday Jun 2016

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Before we go any further, can you please not give me the side eye, I know I said for the next few Monday’s I’ll write on someone who inspires me, however, occasionally, you must allow yourself to be led by what is on your heart(- does this sound like a cop out? It’s not, I promise 🙂 )

I’m going to be a little bit hypocritical here, but there are times that it is absolutely necessary to have that break down in order to experience a break through. I mentioned that I’m being hypocritical because I dislike the aforementioned process, although it is extremely constructive.

I am learning to accept for myself that it is okay to cry, the release is good for you. Think of it this way, crying gets rid of the bad energy and feelings that you have supressed and kept inside for a period of time. The pent up emotions starts to negatively affect the body and the brain, limiting your ability to function well. Your decision making skills and your attitude to life will undoubtedly be impaired due to the internalised stressors and pressures you have harboured.

In any building, should there be an emergency, it is mandatory to know where the exit routes are, the same is required for the body. If I eat unhealthily, the result may be excess weight, in this case it may be headaches, body pains, rash, or a complete and utter melt down.

Having a break down is a clear sign that there are things that require your attention which you have, in some cases, systematically ignored. I say systematically because we often times know instinctively when something should be done but instead we ignore the signs and carry on anyway, in the hopes that it will disappear or work itself out. Not so.

We must take care of ourselves as best as we can and it’s perfectly okay to ask for help and admit that you’re not doing so great. Who hasn’t had low points in their life? If someone says they haven’t, then you have confirmation that they’re a bona fide liar. These challenging seasons as cliché as it will sound, make the highs more enjoyable and in all honesty in the trenches is where the most evolution happens. It will strengthen you and make you a better person.

If you’re at that point or close to it, don’t be afraid to let it all out, trust that it will get better from there on out. Don’t be afraid to admit to yourself that you’re not coping well, it doesn’t make you less of a person. The process may be painful, exhausting and you might feel like giving up, I urge you not too.

This may mean spending time alone, introspecting and examining all areas of your life, especially the parts that you are not happy with, the outcome will certainly be daunting yet worth it.

I implore also not find other means to distract you from doing the work, do not placate it with alcohol, binge TV watching, painting the town red or whatever other vice there is. Doing this will not rid yourself of the issue, in fact it will only aggravate it further.  The sooner you get to it and do the work, the sooner you discover your nirvana at the other side.

You are powerful enough to make a difference in your in life.

XO