Tag Archives: Motivation

Rejected…again?

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facetune_14-11-2018-09-44-44I don’t know whether there are people who are unaffected by rejection and if they exist someone point them my way, I need some tips.

I think most would agree that being rejected once, sucks, but multiple times? Its the worst. And yet it’s inevitable, we cannot escape it no matter who we are or where we are from, we have to deal.

So how do we deal? When things aren’t going how we would like, there’s a tendency to lump all bad experiences together and make it one big ball of pain. This undoubtedly makes it more difficult to move past the experience(s).

“I applied for this role and didn’t get it”

“I missed out on getting onto this course because I was shy of 2 points”

“She left me for someone else”

“My colleague was given the promotion over me, although I am more qualified”

Imagine putting all of those together and wondering why you feel so crap afterwards. Don’t do it.

I have taken a number of L’s this year, do I stop? Do I give up? Do I no longer make the effort? No no and no! (And yes I’m definitely guilty of the above, I’m champion woe is me).

Some rejections I was unfazed by, others made me question myself over and over again. It happens to the best of us.

For example, I applied for 6 positions at my current organisation, did you hear me? I said SIX. After the first 2 rejections, I felt like shit. Most of the roles I applied for, I was more than capable of doing based on my skills and experience, but it wasn’t happening and I did not understand why. The feedback I received was positive but I just missed it. To make matters worse:

  • Most of the people I work with have been pushing for me to get something permanent and so I constantly have colleagues coming up to me, giving me information on jobs, agencies and the like…all the time.
  • It’s embarrassing. And whilst I appreciate/d the support it made me feel useless. Like why can’t I get together?! Frustrating to say the least!
  • This was a 6 month contract. I have been here 18 months which I’m thankful for, however MANY people have left and been able to find better roles. I MUST be the problem.

After the 3rd interview and it was a no (the other 3 I never heard back from), I thought right, what’s really happening here? After some reflection I realised apart from improving my interview techniques, my future is not attached to this company at all. I’d be settling here. I enjoy working with the people, however the roles have been something ‘to do’ and that’s definitely not what I want for my life and the universe has heard me.

From these experiences I have learnt that it is best to treat each situation separate from the other. One negative experience, failure or rejection need not be compounded to conclude that you are indeed a “bum”. Instead, focus on the lessons to be learnt.

Rejection does not have to be failure, it can be redirection and a chance to do it differently. You also don’t know what you’re being saved from.

It can be tough and you’ll want wallow in self-pity, but choose to dust yourself off, be a good student, and give it another go.

Xo

Chasing Waterfalls

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TLC said it best.

It can be a difficult pill to swallow when you’re in pursuit of something that doesn’t want you back. No matter how much you do it simply does not want to materialise or work out how you’ve envisioned.

In that there’s a lesson; don’t force it, let it go.

It means there’s another area in your life that requires your attention, what is it? If you don’t know, look a bit closer, it’s there, screaming pick me.

Once you discover it, direct your attention to that thing. Nurture it, learn from it, grow from it. Before you know it, like a boys summer growth sprout, what you were in hot pursuit of is here.

Sometimes it’s like that. There are certain things we have to experience first and learn from before we are equipped enough to handle our other desires. In fact it’s crucial that we do, so we have less of a chance to totally screw it up!

It’s sucks, I know, but something greater is possible if you allow it to be.

xo

Pursue Your Goals

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I went running on Tuesday

I nearly died

Bye.

Just kidding. About the bye that is, not about the dying because I honestly feel like every week I’m close to saying ‘God is that you?’ after a training session.

It’s brutal.

 

 

Here’s another confession:

I’m shit at running

No, sorry, slow at running

But not for long

I started running 5 weeks ago. I had this genius idea that said “yes do it”. Not a genius idea.

In my teens I would be in 100m races and do quite well, always maintaining between 1st and 3rd except for that one time. Let’s not talk about that one time as that one time was the last time I took running seriously. Okay let’s talk about it; I came in 5th, wtf?! Which I’m sure was actually last and that was it for me “I’m out!” literally and figuratively.

Can you tell I’m a sore loser? (and also very competitive.)

Anyway, winter season training has started, which means we train every Tuesday and Thursday. The group is a mixture of both men and women who are pretty seasoned runners/athletes and I hate them all. Okay I don’t hate them hate them, they just leave me behind *cries in self-pity*. Some of them are quite supportive including the coach, which helps, a lot.

facetune_11-10-2018-10-29-46My goal is to eventually keep up with the fastest out of the group, then beat them *laughs an evil laugh*. I have no idea how I will, but I’ll let you know how I’m faring over the next few months.

What goals are you in pursuit of?

Xo

P.s Tuesday’s training consisted of 3 x 500m, 4 x 200m, 6 x 100m, brutal I tell ya!

‘Bad Energy Stay Far Away’

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🗣 It’s Friday, Whoomp there it is!

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When you think about it, it’s a terrible way to think about Friday, because what does that say about your life in general?

Anyway we’re working on creating the life we want whilst appreciating the one we have aren’t we?

The other day I spoke about disengaging and in the few days of doing so, it has immensely improved my energy levels and morale.

You see now that I’m not easily exposed and available to things and people, my interactions are much more purposeful and intentional. There isn’t that unnecessary noise that comes my way just because it can and removing this has been vital. The perspective I want to have has been fortified by simply clearing the crap.

I think that’s something I’ve learnt from my parents, that’s it not always about reinventing the wheel, but working with what you have. You don’t have to wait for ‘something’, the something is here, it’s now, it’s in your face.                 

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Side note: I’m writing this on my way into a work and this is my current position. In my attempt to take a picture to show you, my flash was on. LOL how embarrassing! Dummy.

Effectively, immediately, take control over the things that are no longer serving you well and cut them out, even if it’s temporary, so that you can make room for the things that will.

You’ll most likely feel anxious about it and second guess your decision, do it anyway. You’ll thank yourself and me (hopefully lol).

Xo

P.s The things I cut out are WhatsApp, Facebook and Instagram.

90 Days

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Pinch Punch its the First of the Month!

Can you believe it’s October already? How??

It must be a getting older thing, because I don’t remember time flying by like this when I was a child, but then again what did I know?

With that being said, what’s the plan for the rest of the year? Or have you given up on it? Please don’t, there is still time for you to change things around.

I get it, for some of you it has been a tough year and you just want a do over, and you can have that, but only if you want to.

It’s about choice. You get to choose how you respond to the things happening in your life, and your choices are a catalyst for what you experience next.

Having this in mind, what could you do differently to get a different result? Make it drastic, let it be so unusual for you, that it makes you feel uncomfortable and scares you a little bit.

One of the quickest ways to get better at anything is by doing more, faster. Don’t drag it out, even if it makes your stomach churn as mine is doing right now (I have a big decision to make), you’ll be better for it.

You have 90 days left till the end of year, you’ve got this!

Xo

Born With It

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A blog post could take me a day or two, maybe more before I actually post it. I’ll fuss over the details like ‘does it make sense? Am I chatting shit? Will a reader relate? For flip sake I missed a word, this doesn’t flow…’ and the conversation continues. It’s annoying. Honestly.

But that’s the price of producing work you can be proud of.

Being great at anything isn’t an overnight job. It can take years. When I look back at my work from 10 years ago, I wonder how I ever made it through university. It was terrible. I almost never proof read anything. What the hell for? ‘You said 3000 words, take it and leave me alone’. And I’m not exaggerating, it was a total mess.

It took me looking at my work to really see the quality that I was producing and make changes. Doing so made me realise I missed words a lot, and that I could read a sentence 5 times and still not notice it’s not there. Oh, and that’s another thing, I HAVE to reread my writing out loud several times, even when I don’t feel like it, because what you see matters to me. It’s the difference between a good read and a read that barely makes sense. It can be tiresome, but do you want to be just okay? Or great at what you do?

It’s so easy to look at someone doing brilliantly and think they’ve got it like that. They don’t. What they do have is a commitment to their life and work continuously to do better, to beat themselves over and over and over again.

So don’t be blind sighted by the appearance of things as all great things are always worked for.

xo

Life On Your Terms

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I just feel like you NEED to see my face lol. Vain much? Maybe…

Good morning!

I really hope you’re doing well.

I wanted to drop a quick note and ask a question: are you living life on your own terms? To elaborate a little more, is the life you’re living yours by design or other peoples design? And really think about that answer.

Over the past few months, I have been steadily unlearning a lot of ideals and thoughts that have been ingrained in me through the various paradigms I operate in, to sift out one that is actually authentically me, and doing so has made me happier and freer. I am now consciously making my own mind up about things and the (self)inflicted pressure has significantly reduced.

I realised that when I strip away everything, I already have everything that is truly important to me like a roof over my head, my family is alive and very well, a means to earn money to sustain my life, a life that I am falling more in love with, and the list goes on…all because I decided to detach myself from what is supposed to be.

You can experience this new level of freedom which will empower you to actually do more of what you love by simply asking yourself, is this really me? And if you discover that it isn’t, work through that to find what is.

Everyone’s mission in life is different and to think we should all be doing and have the same things by a set time is utterly absurd.

I’ll give you an example and I use this one because there is a huge obsession with it in this society, love.

For as long as I can remember women have been conditioned to be reliant on a man for love and value, which is damaging on so many levels.

I am constantly asked by people I know and don’t know about having a partner, which for a long period made me feel a certain way. Almost as if my life could not be fulfilling if I didn’t have one and that this was the pinnacle for a woman. They often inferred and sometimes said ‘that there must be something wrong with me’. At a point I believed them and took a long hard look at myself and altered my behaviour so I could fit. Ha. It didn’t work.

The plan for me was never to fit in, but because of the words I kept hearing (which builds faith, faith comes by hearing), I believed them over myself and what I felt. Big mistake and it cost me.

Through detaching myself from this conditioning, I have been able to replace it with one that gives to myself over and over and over again. By me for me.

Now I’m not saying burn everything and move to a remote area and don’t want or need anyone, not at all, we need connections, they help us thrive, my suggestion is simply that when you make decisions about your life, make sure it is by you for you.

Xo

Keep That Same Energy

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It’s 8:20 am and I’m scheduled to be on time for work- woop! I’m hosting interviewees and the first person is set to arrive at 9:00 am so I can’t do my usual ‘stroll into work at late o’clock’.

Seeing as I should make it in slightly before 9’o clock, a thought crossed my mind as I walked briskly down the escalators that “I could take my time, there is no need to rush”.

I know better. It would just be my luck that as soon as I decide to relax, something happens. There’d be hordes of people trying to get on the train or it would suddenly be delayed by 10 minutes.

For a split second I did consider it but decided against it and continued to make haste, just in case. I was right to as there were delays…

A little random detail about my morning but it led me to think of this life hack. When you are making strides and you have built some momentum, that is not the time to take your foot off the accelerator, you do the opposite, floor it.

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It’s easy to become complacent once we experience a little bit of success. It gets to our heads and we think “ahh yes I can relax”, when really that window of opportunity is the time to push, go harder and do more. The aim is to firmly make your stamp in whatever it is you’re doing, not to do it just a little bit and the only way to do that is to generate enough traction that it lasts.

Remember when Beyonce took that year long career break? She could do that because she’s worked hard enough that her work speaks for itself whether she is present or not. Now I don’t advise you do what she does as I am sure its not entirely healthy, what I am saying is; if something is working, pursue it and pursue it well, strike whilst the iron is hot.

Life is full of peaks and troughs and you want to make the best of what you have, whilst you still have it.

Xo

P.s I made it on time 🙂

Greatness Over Time

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Last week Thursday I was looking back on the things I have done to date and I have to be honest, I was pretty impressed with myself, like really impressed. I love what I have been able to do so far and I didn’t think I would ever say that at this point.

As a perfectionist, it could always be better, yet here I was, looking at my work and saying to myself ‘I’m dope af’.

Side note:The lack of acknowledgement or praise for your gift and contribution does not exclude the existence of it.  

Now that may be my inflated ego talking, but as I sat there and mulled over why I hadn’t seen myself in this way before, it came to me. Time, work and effort was why.

Becoming great at anything requires time, not only that but work, repeated effort and consistency. You cannot become great at anything if you do not put the hours in. There is absolutely no conning your way into it and most people start at the bottom and by bottom I mean you’re usually shit…at first. 

Think Serena and Beyonce. When you look at their success, its awe-inspiring, but truthfully what you are looking at is decades of hard work, failure, repeated action, consistency and a whole lot more.

They started as kids whose talents had to be cultivated. An overnight success they are not, not by a long shot, and if we ever sat down to converse with them about their journey, I am not sure many of us could stomach it.

Want to be great at anything? Give yourself time, be religious with doing the work, learn from it, take risks, fail, celebrate- do whatever it takes and you will surely become it, in time.

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And this could be for anything. A great relationship, apply the above, a great career apply the above, a great body, apply the above, creating the life you want to lead, apply the above, great health, apply the above… you get my drift. The work must be done and there’s no shirking the responsibility that is required to be great.

So, if you want it, it yours, but its not free.

Xo

Call It Quits?

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img_0874You set a goal and start to execute your plans to see it materialise. You’re excited and more determined than ever, nothing will stop you, you can do it.

Months and years have passed and you can’t see the finish line, your energy starts to wane. You wonder if there is any point because nothing seems to be changing. You want to stop but you haven’t…yet.

Will it ever happen? Should I give up? Did I make a mistake going down this path? Can I fix it? Should I fix it? What did I do wrong?
It’s not going happen, I should give up, I never should have embarked on this journey, there’s nothing more I can do, I should have done this instead…

The constant noise, the incessant chatter of shoulda woulda couldas engulfs you. You can’t think straight.

Too overwhelmed to do much, yet too far gone to give it all up.

I know the feeling, it’s tempting to call it quits especially on days where it doesn’t make sense.
Truth is, when you made the decision to pursue your desires, there were no guarantees that it would happen, you only believed in it enough to do something about it, kudos to you.

In times like these, you must reconnect to your why. Stop the static by getting out of your normal environment and purge yourself of your thoughts.

Sounds simple, almost too simple yet it works.

I was having a nightmare of a time yesterday with a decision I had made months ago and I was so close to going back on my word. I had re-enacted what I felt like doing in that moment a trillion times but deep down I knew I’d regret it.

I wanted to stay on course but was struggling to. I called on my friends to keep me motivated; they helped, however it didn’t immediately ease my feelings. My thoughts were doing over time.

I decided to go to a small park around where I work. I opened notes on my phone, wrote two lines about how I was feeling and that was it. My sound mind was restored.

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Seeing the words was a visual reminder of why I was doing it and that the possibility of something better was worth the effort and indeed valuable to me.

Try it out. If you feel uncertain about your direction, get into nature. Spend time there, meditate, write or even talk to someone. It’s the best free therapy there is. And when you’re done, pat yourself on the back for everything you have accomplished so far, appreciate the moment you’re in now, stay connected to your why and never give up.

If it doesn’t happen on the first try, keep doing it, clarity will come.

“Anything worth having, is worth waiting (working) for”…apparently (lol)

xo