Tag Archives: Motivation

Have You Done It Yet?

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A couple of days ago, my mind wondered back to being a child and what made things so much simpler.

I thought about all the things I had achieved then both great and small and one thing that I remember not doing is thinking. I just did.

I didn’t think about whether or not I’ll be good at cartwheels, I just did it until I was.

I didn’t think about whether or not I was a good reader, my hand shot up when asked for a volunteer and over time I got better.

I didn’t think about if I’d be good at 100m, I just ran on the tracks until I was faster.

I didn’t think I was stupid, I just applied myself until I improved.

As children (preteens, because teenagers are hormonal aka crazy) we didn’t sit there and ruminate over all the things that could go wrong like we do now. We spent more time doing things, getting it wrong and doing it again until we got it right or became better.

Which brings me to my point, many of us cancel on a dream without having attempted it. Did you hear me? Without having attempted it.

One more time for effect…

Without

Having

Attempted

It!

Do you know how crazy that is? You haven’t tried it, but you have convinced yourself it won’t work. Maybe in your case it’s that you are doing ‘things’ but the truth is you don’t really believe it will happen so you half arse it.

You miss 100% of shots that you don’t take and you can’t half arse anything!

And yes I’m absolutely guilty of this.

We need to revert back to that childlike attitude or better still evolve into mind-set that removes limitations.

So before you go cancelling on your dreams that you’ve not even worked on yet or doubting them, do it and keep doing it again and again and again and again.

The success I have experienced didn’t magically appear, it came from taking repeated action. I had to do the work, there’s absolutely no other way around it than to do it.

Humour me, the next thing your mind thinks of doing, use the immediate 5 minutes that follows to put something into action. Its harder to stop something you have already started…right?

Xo

Don’t Sleep on Yourself

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I was looking through Instagram as you do and I came across the fabulous shoe designer Monika Chaing. After browsing through a few of her pictures, I was transported back to 2010 when I had aspirations of creating a shoe line that would represent all the different sides of me-I love shoes!

That same year I was at a club with Jon B (yes the Jon B) and he commented on how he loved my shoes and that his wife would love them too.  A tiny piece of me died inside, talk about missed opportunity. The shoes I was wearing at the time were not my own design, there were a pair of Kurt Geiger shoes, but just imagine if they were? Ugh.

Thing is I had been working on the shoe line but was yet to have a product in my hand. I thought to myself if only I had a little bit more time I could have passed on my details and the rest would have been history.

Needless to say that over time I became weary and stopped trying.

Looking through Monika Chaing’s feed reminded me of that and all the other ideas (there have been many) that I had started, made progress on and then shortly gave up on. Where would they have been now if I persisted? What could I have created within the last 10 years if I had stuck through all the obstacles that I would have faced? I don’t even want to think about it, but I do know there’s a high chance I wouldn’t be sitting behind my work desk typing this.

What I hadn’t realised at the time was that dreams do not manifest overnight. They are like babies, they have to be nurtured and attended to constantly. Did you hear me? Constantly!

Now I’m not about to be all self-deprecating after all I have blogged for 3 years and that for me is an accomplishment!

Do something now that your future self will thank you for. It could be in any area of your life, great or small. Start and persist with it and remember Rome was not built in a day.

You owe it to yourself to live out your dreams to the fullest.

Xo

Everything Is Not For Sale

10 Monday Jul 2017

Posted by in love, Motivation, relationships, Thoughts in motion, Uncategorized

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Trapped

22 Saturday Apr 2017

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You’ve been trying a ting* for a while now but it’s not quite working.

One possible reason is this: You’re living in your head!

What do I mean by that? There are certain things you say to yourself on a daily basis that contradict what you deeply want for your life. You hold incapacitating beliefs that limit your ability to make your dreams a reality.

You’ve held onto these things for so long that whatever you attempt to do is really futility at its best. You’re living small, acting small, doing enough to look like you’re doing something, all the while, side stepping doing the VERY thing that will make a massive difference to your life. Your fears and insecurities make you a spectator to the life you really want to lead, in other words, it’s bitch.

Take me for example; I believe that what I do IS valuable to someone, yet my other thought is, who the hell will listen to me? Who would even care about what I have to say? No one cares!

Unsurprisingly, there are going to be behaviours that follow these thoughts, like not speaking up, not promoting your work, being critical of yourself and so on.

But enough is enough! As my mother would say, ‘Time waits for no man’.

If you want a different experience, you have to think and do things in a way you have never done before. Say f*ck it and just do it. Not half-heartedly, not cowering, do it with your chest! There’s no other way to get around it or over it. No matter how silly or unqualified you might feel, do it anyway. It’s the only way you’re going to get closer to living the way you truly want.

It could be buying a home, speaking to that family member, setting up a business, starting YouTube, getting an agent, returning to university, sky diving, travelling to another country alone, ending that dead relationship, clearing your debt, changing careers, whatever it is, know that you can do it.

Free yourself from the things someone once told you about yourself, the things you have told yourself, the belief systems that have crippled you and begin a new, more edifying conversation, starting with believing in your-bl**dclart-self!

You can, you will, you have.

Xo

P.s Ting is a Caribbean/London slang for ‘a thing’…that was obvious right? Anyway bye.

Before Beyoncé was Beyoncé

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You think Beyoncé is who she is because she is simply gifted? Hardly. In fact she works HARD to create and build all she has.

I’d love to tell you that all the Greats were born great (so that you and I can feel better about ourselves) but they’re not, well not entirely.

What they are able to do that many others do not, is to harness a talent or skill to its fullest by practicing repeatedly over long periods of time to get better, smarter and faster. To do this requires plenty of endurance, creativity, effort, patience…the list is endless.

Here’s my question to those of you pining over being really shitty at something; are you prepared to do something for a long time without ceasing or immediate gratification to become better? Or, will you give up shortly afterwards because you’re not seeing your desired results? Both choices have consequences and you ultimately contribute to those outcomes by what you do.

Trust me, I am a part of the instant gratification gang, I want it now, but I have learnt that some things, especially wonderful things, take time.

I do not like the fat that has “somehow” attached itself to my midriff (how dare it?!), but sit there and complain about it? Nope! The gym and I are slowly but surely becoming bum chums and I know that in time, I will see good results.

The decision is yours to make about how you affect what happens next- take the road less travelled.

Apply yourself.

Xo

Rejection or Re-direction? A Blessing in Disguise

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I hope you have missed me? If not, the rest of this post will be blank…try me. Just kidding 😀

Last week Friday I received not so good news. The long and short is I’ll be out of a job soon, as my contract is coming to an end. Womp womp womp.

It’s typical for this to happen just as I have FINALLY warmed up to the idea of being a nine to fiver (for a period of time) and building on a both the vocation and my aspirations simultaneously. But nope I’ll be out on my ass lol.

Thing is I am used to being in and out of work, it’s the life of a work-in-progress entrepreneur. I have lived this way my entire working life but this time around I felt a great sense of disappointment and disqualification. I began to second-guess my purpose and myself.

In instances like these, our outlook can sometimes magnify the negatives and all the problems we have ever had suddenly come into full focus.

After feeling sorry for myself for like a day, I dusted myself off and began to think about the upside. What if this is a prelude to something greater, something that I have always wanted, an even better opportunity?

You have to consider what is this “missed” opportunity saving me from or even leading me onto?

“Every time I thought I was being

rejected from something good

I was actually being redirected to something

better.”- Steve Maraboli

I remember one specific moment as a child where I was super excited to go to a birthday party. My aunty was coming to pick me up and as you know one minute to a child is like an hour. It turned out that my aunty couldn’t make it anymore, I was devastated, well as devastated as an 11 year old could be. My mother said to me “Irene, every disappointment is a blessing in disguise”. What the hell does that even mean to an 11 year old?! But she was right. I ended up having a great time going somewhere else.

The example may sound trivial but it taught me a life long lesson.

Be down just for a moment, then pick yourself up and think what is it I should be paying attention to? What is the great thing that can come from this disappointment? How can I turn this around for my good?

There is always something to be gained in every situation. Don’t think: “What if I fall?” (think) Oh but my darling, What if you fly?”

XO

Career hopping: The Ineffective Route to Success

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Without a vision, people perish.

I am about to be really judgy (in my world, all made up words are real, mmkay!), and I can do so because I was once (sometimes still) one of the regular culprits for this kind of behaviour: Indecisive.

If there was a list of offenders, I’d be the top 5:

  1. Irene
  2. Irene
  3. Irene
  4. Irene
  5. Irene

You get the point…I am talking to myself as much as I am you.

I truly love when people want to do well in life, I want everyone to win, even people I consider dusty lol, however, it frustrates me to no end when people change their ideas, businesses and goals on a regular basis. Like I’m going to need you to stick to one thing for AT LEAST a year or *summink!

I find that when people change their plans often and quickly, at the root of it, is a lack of vision, clarity or passion.

If it doesn’t work in the first instance, the most common action that I see some people take is to throw it all away, which is easily done when you are not convicted of your why or have a good understanding of how things work.

We build up great expectations about how things should be and feel like and once that doesn’t match our ideals then it must not be working or right for us. Abandoning your goals for those reasons can in many cases limit your ability to see the opportunity right in front of you.

The opportunity for growth is always present but if you’re hung up on what it is supposed to look like and believe that progress should just smack you right in the face, then you my friend will be gravely disappointed.

You see other people thriving in their careers and it appears to you like it happened overnight and that simply is not the case. Even if there are some people that ‘fall’ into a career and you consider them successful, there is a lot of work that goes into maintaining it, a lot.

What I really want to stress is that you cannot continue to flit about from one career to another, one business to another, one partner to another and expect to be successful, in fact it may be the very reason you are not. You have to focus your energy on one thing first, not one hundred things at once. Work on the opportunity that you have in your hand and stop looking at someone else’s grass believing it is greener. Yours could be just as green if you refrain from being a scatter brain (cheeky, I know) and channel your efforts into making the thing you want a success.

You need to be consistent, patient and focused on the outcome, not on how the outcome comes about or how long it’s taking, just scrap the ‘hows’ altogether. Zone in on your why and it’ll keep you going.

Now granted you may very well do that and it doesn’t work out, that’s completely fine, all hell does not have to break loose! What you can do in that situation is to take the learning experience and apply it in another area of your life.

There will be times that the thing you want doesn’t want you right now and to combat that, you must look at what is working, and ride it until the wheels fall off. Another opportunity with time, will present itself.

JF

Jamie Foxx is a perfect example of this. His first passion was music, but at the start of his career music didn’t want him, comedy and acting did. He worked that circuit for a few years before he released his second album which did considerably better than his first. By this point he was well recognised and respected in the entertainment business. It was much easier for people to be more receptive to his music-He wins! (Let’s gloss over his ‘15 National Anthem performance *side eye* thanks).

MA

Mahershala Ali has been acting for 16 years and my very first exposure to him was only last year in the Netflix series Luke Cage and now he’s everywhere!-And the first Muslim to win an Oscar 🙂

Nothing worth having will be easy. It will have twists and turns, ups and downs, highs and lows, it is part and parcel of living.

Work on your craft and if the craft isn’t working, work on something that is working. You can quote me on this, it will happen for you, eventually.

Xo

P.s *Summink South East London colloquialism for Something.

Hey, Listen Up!

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Hi Guys,

My real name is Irene and erm I have a tendency to saunter off when life gets manic but I’m working on it and I hope you can stick with me.

Pretty please…?

Thank you!

Xoxo

Okay, we’ve established that I’m guilty of going away and my excuse is I have been traveling, I visited Paris ooh la la. I don’t mean to sound like I am full of excuses because I am not. Well, not really, they are more like reasons, yes reasons, reasons sound better.

Anyway, I hope you have been doing fabulously! Let’s talk.

I was saying to someone yesterday, that it is so much easier to believe in someone else’s hype than your own. Why is that? :s
Take me for example, I personally believe everyone can fly if they want to, but to fill out an application form for myself sometimes is like Mount Kilimanjaro -_- .Not because I cannot do it, but if truth be told because I am not sure I’ll get it and dealing with rejection is a mother******.  The kicker is how am I supposed to get it, if I do not do the work that is required? However, ask me to jump off a ledge and I’d sooner do that than apply for a role. It is a strange conundrum I know but we’re going to mend it!

I can talk your ear off about affirmations, positivity, and all that stuff but, something has to change and the catalyst for that is action.

Let’s be about it, I am all about making leaps and bounds this year and shaking off those gremlins that have been gnawing at my/our brain ( gross I know) and preventing us from living the life we have always wanted to.  I am therefore challenging you to a duel with me, not really a duel, but to intentionally do the things that scare you shitless. I mean that thing that merely thinking about it, gives you the shits. Don’t front, we have all experienced that intense nervousness. That nervousness which you experience may be an indication of something that you really, really, really need to do.

How else are you going to make your dreams a reality, if you don’t switch up your regular, mundane, dry chapped lipped routine?  You must inject some life, some oomph, some je ne sais quoi into it!

Stop playing small and cowering away, step outside your comfort zone.

Oh and because I am not fear’s b*tch (lol I am on one today), I am sending part of my manuscript to two publishers this week, whoa!

You gon’ learn ta day!

XO

P.s Irene has been abducted and the above post was written by a clone named Irina. We do apologise if this post caused offence, sike!

Lemonade

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I am probably going to tell this fable all wrong and add and subtract bits, but you’ll get the gist. My counsellor told me a story about a multimillionaire and it goes like this.

He had a pool in his house filled with alligators and he said that whoever can swim the length of this pool and make it out will be given half of his wealth.  Of course, the rich man did not believe anyone could make it through. The next minute, all you could hear and see is a man who was thrashing and flailing his arms around like a mad man in the pool. He miraculously made it out on the other side, unscathed.

The crowd was applauding and cheering.  He was now the heir to half of the rich man’s wealth and his first words after gathering himself together were “Who pushed me?”

When I was told this story, I laughed so hard. I was having a miserable day and hearing it, thoroughly cheered me up because I could certainly relate.

We’ve all been in a situation where we have been thrashing and flailing our arms for dear life and somehow we survived. We probably didn’t think we would, but we were trying anyway because we had no choice. These moments are what I call lemons.

Sometimes its life’s way of showing you that you have become complacent and that thing that you want is NOT going to come to you if you carry on as you are, so it thrusts you forward and lemons appear everywhere, it’s time for you to thrash and flail. Do not despise this phase of your life, instead see this as your opportunity to grow, learn and once on the other side, thrive and drink lemonade.

Xo

An Overnight Success? Not Likely.

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I live for progress, patience? Not so much. The irony is without patience, you’ll seldom get to see the progress.

By nature or possibly nurture even, I am incredibly impatient. I want it either now, yesterday or last year and live in this space where anything can happen instantly and I expect it to. As you can imagine it doesn’t bode well for me at all when it does not happen as anticipated. I quickly become frustrated, irritated and delve deeper into the abyss of ‘I am not doing well in life’- Yes I know, drama queen.

But, I had an epiphany that I thought was worth sharing. I was working out last week and thinking about how I have not yet successfully executed regular and consistent exercise for long periods of time. I weighed it against the goals that I wanted for my body and it registered to me that I am never going to see the results that I want, IF I am not patient enough to continue working out to see my goals manifest.

This is true for everything.

I love reading and listening to the background stories of celebrities, mainly because their development and growth is visible. The proof of their evolution is seen in the pictures, videos and the work they produce.

These success stories, started exactly where you are right now, that very same spot you’re standing on, yup, that one, they stood there too.

They were not all born with a silver spoon or in particularly advantageous circumstances and even if they were, it’s not void of life’s woes, yet they thrived. How?

Well, (and I firmly believe this) the difference between those that achieve the success they want and those that don’t, is persistence and patience.

Being persistent and patient whilst aiming for progress rather than perfection (irrespective of what you do) will surely gain you results over a period of time albeit a long, very long, period of time.

I read an article/ interview on Katherine Waterston in ES Magazine and she spoke about the time she considered giving up if she had not booked ‘Inherent Vice’, a movie that she was nominated for three awards. She is now one of the stars of ‘Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them’ a work from the incomparable JK Rowling. It may not match Harry Potter’s success but it’s sure to do pretty darn well, due to die-hard fans both young and old.  Katherine has already filmed other works that are currently in post-production. At 36, she is gaining notoriety and expanding her body of work. 

Why mention her age? I think her age is (and isn’t) important.  For those  of us who are younger and think it’ll never work out and daily consider giving up on our aspirations, well there’s the proof that with time, you will begin to make great strides; if only you do not give up, be persistent, work on your craft/ self and exercise patience!

Resist the opportunity to relent before your moment to shine, it will come.

XO