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~ To A Life Worth Living xo

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Tag Archives: Motivation

A Long Way From Home

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Posted by Irene Ephraim in Late night, Motivational & Intentional

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Future, Motivation, past, Present, Reality, Regret, Spirituality, TGIF

Sometimes, it is necessary to look back.
I randomly came across email exchanges from 14 years ago. What I saw shocked, embarrassed and made me laugh until tears fell.
My verbal communication was abysmal. How did anyone ever engage in written conversation with me? and furthermore why? Were they nuts?!

I didn’t go looking for it, but I welcomed seeing my growth in such a real tangible way. It was clear that I had evolved. For the better.

It’s hard to see how far we have come when the evidence isn’t glaringly obvious.
The proof is not smacking you in the face so you must not be growing right? Go back.
Rummage through old notebooks, pictures, emails, items. You’ll see it. What looks back at you, might get you to puff up your chest a little bit because you’ll realise that actually you smashed it.
You made lemonade from lemon. Not once, or twice, but over and over again.
Don’t be so hard on yourself, cut yourself some slack and whilst you’re at it pat yourself on the back.

Xo

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LATEST POSTS

I Made It

33 held so much for me. I felt like I couldn’t fully exhale for a few reasons.Give or take the inaccuracies of reported history, Jesus was 33 when he ascended. My late friend was also 33 when he ascended. And a small part of me had come to anticipate that this too could be my …

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by Irene Ephraim December 17, 2021

CAN YOU HEAR YOURSELF?

The constant chatter is overwhelming. One person says this, another person says that. Your mum says it’s this way, your brother says it’s the other. Then there’s the people who love to be contrarian with no actual thoughts of their own, just adept at piggybacking off what a group of people might agree upon and finding a …

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by Irene Ephraim December 13, 2021

Cloudy With A Chance Of…

One day you’re fine, life is good and the air is filled with prospects that you could almost pluck them like the squiggly lines you see when you look at a blue sky. The following day however, you’re freezing your bits off, your umbrella is inside out and the contents of your bag have just …

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by Irene Ephraim December 6, 2021

The Improbable Is Still Possible 

Improbable–not likely to be true or to happen.I saw a TikTok of a guy doing the improbable. Getting two basketballs into a hoop using a crutch, throwing a CD into a moving Wii console, releasing ping pong balls with the aim of reaching various points and so on.   It was fascinating to watch. In a different …

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by Irene Ephraim December 2, 2021December 2, 2021

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Face Your Front

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Posted by Irene Ephraim in Motivational & Intentional

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Currency, energy, life, lifestyle, Monday, Money, Motivation, success


Face your front is a commonly known Nigerian expression, meaning to look ahead, pay attention to your affairs and stop watching others. The irony is the exact opposite expression also exists, and its ‘Look at your mates’, but we will unpack that another time.

How much further along might you be if you pull backed some of your energy from fruitless endeavours and redistributed into your own life?

When I reflect on a number of past activities, I momentarily feel a grave sense of regret because of what I allowed to fall by the wayside.
Energy is currency, and wherever you are spending it, is an investment you’re making each and every single time. With this in mind, what is your investment revealing to you?

I have regularly made other people and things a priority and we’ve all been taught to do that, often to our own detriment.
Truthfully, there will always be things to take care of and give yourself to, but it’s your responsibility to make your personal business of great importance and to see it through.
People are not always going to check in on you to see if you’re on track and doing what you said you’d do. You have to hold yourself accountable.
Create a system that gives you both the space to audit what you have done to date and develop your interests, and you can start by being present, analysing your thoughts, and examining your actions.

Only you know and understand the gravitas of the mandate you have for your life…Wouldn’t it be wonderful to live it out in this lifetime? and need I say it, the idea of tomorrow is a hope and not a guarantee.

XO

LATEST POSTS

A Long Way From Home

Sometimes, it is necessary to look back. I randomly came across email exchanges from 14 years ago. What I saw shocked, embarrassed and made me laugh until tears fell. My verbal communication was abysmal. How did anyone ever engage in written conversation with me? and furthermore why? Were they nuts?! I didn’t go looking for …

Continue reading →

by Irene Ephraim November 26, 2021November 26, 2021

Treat It Like An Exam

Treat it like an exam. This came to me at 7:46am this morning.  I was pondering on the how’s of a particular thing. I quickly snapped out of it like a Raven Baxter premonition because the ‘how’ is none of my business. The ‘do’ is where it’s at. And by do, that means doing it …

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by Irene Ephraim November 23, 2021

Accelerate Your Life

The New Year is fast approaching, and it’s the time many people begin to reflect and go over the year. It’s at this point that people panic and have great anxiety over what they did or didn’t do and resolve to do better…in the new year.Why wait, when you can get a headstart now. One …

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by Irene Ephraim November 21, 2021November 23, 2021

Little Pockets Of Joy

Joy is usually reserved for the ‘big’ moments. Moments like a new car, house, engagement, pregnancy, job and the like. It’s also solely thought of as something that is given to you, rather than something you can cultivate for yourself. This is where Little Pockets of Joy comes in. I believe in en•joy•ment of the …

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by Irene Ephraim November 16, 2021

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It Didn’t Work

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Posted by Irene Ephraim in Motivational & Intentional

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blogger, Failure, Goals, growth, lifestyle, London, Monday, Motivation, Paris, Relationships, success, writer

It didn’t work. 
Didn’t it? Or did you give up after the first attempt? 

We’ve become accustomed to expecting microwave results. 
We no longer believe in the art of cultivating, nurturing or giving of ourselves to a thing. We want it, and we want it now. 

I often go back to what I was like as a child. It reveals much of who we are today and who we could be.

When I couldn’t skip well, I skipped until I could.
When I could barely do a roly poly (forward roll), I practiced until I could to that and cartwheels.
When I wasn’t the fastest in a race, I ran until I got faster and faster.
When I was terrible at maths, I studied until I excelled at it. 
When I was told by my Sixth Form Law teacher to stop mucking around in class, I got an A in my coursework to silence her.
When I couldn’t swim, I learnt what I could from friends and later on in my 20’s I took lessons. 
When I was told I couldn’t do something and I disagreed with their opinion, I didn’t accept it as gospel. I instead invested the time and effort to ace it and prove myself right.

You were like that too. You relished the opportunity to know more, and you could spend hours on end practicing, learning, and doing it over and over again. What happened to that person?
The results of course were important, but the focus was in the undertaking, and this is what made the accomplishments sweeter.

Let’s get back to engaging with the process, and move away from obsessing about the outcome/whens, because truly that is where the real treasures lie; in the doing, in the learning, in the growing. The results are simply the icing on the cake. 

Xo 

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Promise + Possibilities 

Promise– the quality of potential excellence.Possibilities– a thing that may happen or be the case. That we get to be here and experience a new week full of promise and possibilities is magical. I love that for us. Who knows what wonderful, delightful thing may happen to and for us. The promise within that, makes me …

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by Irene Ephraim November 8, 2021November 8, 2021

Winning in Real Life

Successful 1. accomplishing a desired aim or result. 2. having achieved fame, wealth, or social status. The media will have you believe that houses, cars, money, having a partner, and followers are the epitome of success. We inherently know this isn’t true, yet we still uphold them as markers of significant value. We yearn to have …

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by Irene Ephraim November 5, 2021

Follow Through

When I thought of today’s word, I’d already accepted that I had very little of it. Routines and monotony are not my strong suits. And then I looked up the definition and I was surprised. It’s shifted my perspective and has given me food for thought. We use discipline to strictly imply no stick-to-it-ness, but it’s official meaning …

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by Irene Ephraim November 4, 2021

Self vs Self

Ego–A person’s sense of self-esteem or self-importance.A slippery slope or protective armour? I’d it’s both. It’s also described as the part of the mind that mediates between the conscious and the unconscious and is responsible for reality testing and a sense of personal identity. The ego is accused of many things, namely in negative outcomes, …

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by Irene Ephraim November 3, 2021

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Endless Excuses

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Posted by Irene Ephraim in Experiences, Life, Motivational & Intentional

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Design, Desire, Excuse, inspiration, intention, life, Motivation, Paris, Work

Photo by Brett Jordan on Pexels.com

We are full of excuses. Excuses that hinder, inhibit, and can foster stagnation. And yes, sometimes they are valid and substantiated, however, they are only as powerful as we say they are.

I often remember what a coach said to me once, after I poured out my heart and laid out my issues regarding overcoming a fear I had. I was keen to hear the solution to this matter and to be set free.

My expectation was for her to give me a well-thought-out, empathetic, reasonable response, but instead she said ‘Just do it’. That was it. No drawn out speech, no ‘I understand your plight’, no digging deeper to gain further insight.
I was flabbergasted.
Did she read ALL that I wrote?! Is she mad?! and I mentally came up with all the reasons why it wasn’t a matter of simply just doing it.
I didn’t have the words to respond with void of it being offensive, so begrudgingly I swallowed it and wrote thank you.

She was right though.
As time passed, I realised the truth and emancipation in those three words.
There’s no better way to get through or over something than by doing it.

I intend to hopefully do what she did for me for someone else today with words of my own, and its this; If you wanted to, you would.

Xo

LATEST POSTS

Easy Breezy

When the sky cries and the sun smiles, a ray of colourful light is a reminder of their alliance; to dance always.  Easeful–Providing comfort or peace.Nature gives me that. It works in order, at its own pace void of who, what, where and when.  Trees do not struggle to grow nor wonder how will they grow, …

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by Irene Ephraim November 2, 2021

A November to Remember

1.11.21 I love the first day of the month, especially when it lands on a Monday. For each day this week I’ll be posting a word to ponder on.  Today’s word is:Detach 1. disengage (something or part of something) and remove it.2. leave or separate oneself from (a group or place). For me, this means letting go of …

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by Irene Ephraim November 1, 2021

Belief–An Acceptance That Something Exists

I made myself stupid. Hear me out. Years ago, because of an unhealthy level of expectation I placed on myself (which stemmed from comparison), I would harshly judge what I said and how I said it. I would go over every minute detail and pick myself apart mentally, with the underlying message being you’re not …

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by Irene Ephraim October 26, 2021

WDYWM?! Episode 10–My Life In Paris

This episode is about my experience of being a Black Brit who moved from London to Paris in a pandemic. I discuss having covid, language barriers and general challenges of integrating into a new society.

by Irene Ephraim October 21, 2021

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A Little Joy

03 Thursday Dec 2020

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Lessons Learnt, Life

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2020, Celebration, Christmas, Christmas Decor, France, happiness, inspiration, joy, life, Lockdown, Love, Motivation, Paris, Quarantine

I cannot remember the last time I decorated my home for Christmas. My family, at least the younger lot, aren’t fussed with Christmas much to my dismay. How and why don’t you love it?!?

Keeping up the Christmas cheer when others around you are not enthusiastic about it, has been challenging and ultimately demotivating. As a result my festive spirit waned over the years. Bah hambug!

This year is different. Maybe it’s because I’m away from home and in a new home, but I decided that given everything that has happened, creating a little joy in our place was necessary.

Saturday was the first day of the non-essential shops reopening, and having spent the last few weeks only going to the supermarket and straight back home, I was itching to get out and do other normal things, albeit with a mask on.

We spent the day deciding on Christmas decor; should we get a white tree? a green one? a snow Christmas tree? tinsel? a Christmas plant? decorative Christmas window stickers? Yes. Yes to everything.

That evening we put the tree together. It looked small and scrawny.
We spent the first few seconds after erecting the tree laughing at how uncharismatic and un-christmas it looked. Um did we make a mistake going for this tree?

Before

A can of fake snow, tinsel, glittery green and gold baubles and LED lights later, we had a semblance of healthy-ish and joyful looking tree. Results! (Still a work in progress)

Christmas Decorations
After

The warm and inviting ambience the lights create as it subtly illuminates the room, gives me instant joy and is a reminder that good and wonderful things exist. I’m glad I didn’t succumb to being the Grinch this year, as 2020 really doesn’t need any help with that!

My point is mark the occasion, no matter how little or who likes it or doesn’t, curate a little joy for yourself.
xo

This is it currently 🙂

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Forgive–To Cancel a Debt.

Nothing is more important than what you choose to do with the breadth of your life. To not forgive is to rob yourself of a life you deserve. …but alas it is you that has been sentenced to a life in prison.  Unforgiveness* is a treacherous con artist because it deceives you into thinking you’re …

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by Irene Ephraim October 19, 2021

What Are You Looking At? 

A video of Kim K came across my sight over the weekend. It was her on SNL. I watched it and it dawned on me that I have no idea what she and her family were up to these days.  It’s fascinating what can change once you set your eyes on something entirely different.  I regularly …

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by Irene Ephraim October 13, 2021

Finishing Well

I visited the Musée Yves Saint Laurent on Sunday and was re-energised by what I saw. For the designer, it was more than just clothes that looked good, it was art, curated by passion, breaking moulds and forging new ways to be seen and felt. As I perused his wears, studied the fabrics, observed the …

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by Irene Ephraim September 21, 2021

September

The feeling of a crisp Monday morning cannot be replicated by any other day of the week. It’s full of both promise and dread in equal amounts. What will it bring? What will I have to tackle? What joy will I experience? What task might feel too great? And whilst you marinate on it, you’ll …

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by Irene Ephraim September 13, 2021

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20 Things to Know In Your 20’s – Part 2 (Reposted)

26 Thursday Nov 2020

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Lessons Learnt, Life

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2020, Adult, Discipline, Future, growth, Hurt, inspire, Lesson, life, Love, Motivation, Opinions, Pain, Relationships, Thirties, Tips, travel, Twenties

 

My next post is titled ‘Navigating Your 30’s’ and I thought before I drop that, I’d repost an oldie but goodie from 2017. I wrote this in the days leading up to my 30th birthday, and much has changed, with me that is.

For now, a quick refresh on things to know in your 20’s and at any age for that matter.

“Continuing on from my last post on Sunday, here are the next 10 things I have learnt in my 20’s:

  1. Not everyone’s opinion matters, in fact yours is the most important. And if yours is self-depreciating then you need to remedy that immediately effectively.
  2. Heartbreak hurts like a bitch, but one day you will be better. I was in love with someone for years and I honestly thought my little heart will never mend. It did. Now, I look back and laugh (cackle) at how dramatic that period of my life was. It was also one of the biggest teachers I have ever had.
  3. Don’t be okay with the okey doke. If you believe you can have different, then go for it irrespective of what people say or the environment you are in. Many Greats started at the very bottom.
  4. For my ladies, you can say no to sex if you don’t want to. Men, you don’t have to sleep with a girl, you control your membrane. Society might encourage that behaviour but for us all it is okay to say no, not today. The opposite is also okay too. But do so with caution and sense
  5. Let go. It requires way too much to hold on.
  6. Cut and or reduce communication with those that do not add to your life. Honestly, the power is in your hands. You absolutely have a say in who should be in your life and who shouldn’t. It takes one person to ruin your life, don’t let that happen on your watch
  7. Travel. If it’s your thing and even if it’s not, a few visits to new places won’t hurt you, it’ll enrich your life.
  8. Work on your discipline. To live the life you want will require sacrifice and discipline, otherwise years will go by and nothing in your life would have changed.
  9. Think carefully about what you want your future to look like and start to work on it now.
  10. People will let you down, repeatedly and you’ll do the same to others. Its life, nobody is perfect, don’t beat yourself up about it (I’m working on this as we speak), just do better.

I hope you find some of the 10 tips useful, what are your tips?

Xo”

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Back to Life, Back to Reality.

And if you’re seeing this post, it’s an indication that at least for today, I won. Whew! Returning to the blog after an unplanned period away, is like that first day at the gym after falling off for months. It takes a whole lot to get there. On this occasion, the distance was due to Covid. …

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by Irene Ephraim September 7, 2021

Question It

Fortuitously, I picked up this book recently to re-read it for the umpteenth time and the words below reflect my sentiments in this post. Much of our education of the world comes from other sources. We seldom form and realise our own ideas about it till much later on in life, if ever at all. …

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by Irene Ephraim July 19, 2021

Face Your Front

Face your front is a commonly known Nigerian expression, meaning to look ahead, pay attention to your affairs and stop watching others. The irony is the exact opposite expression also exists, and its ‘Look at your mates’, but we will unpack that another time. How much further along might you be if you pull backed some …

Continue reading →

by Irene Ephraim July 6, 2021November 18, 2021

WDYWM?! Episode 9–Adulting: A Sham & A Scam

Adulting, need I say more? If you could opt out, at least for a period of time, would you take it? This episode is about the realities of adulthood.

by Irene Ephraim June 17, 2021

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Finishing Strong

13 Friday Dec 2019

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Life, More Action, Motivation

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2017, 2019, challenge, change, choice, Daily, depression, growth, Habits, happiness, life, lifestyle, Motivation, new year, Procrastination, success, Vote

***Updated***

Running

Typically around this time of the year we start to reflect on all that we’ve done. We look at what have achieved and what we haven’t.

We examine closely the things we didn’t get to do and resign to saying ‘2020’ is my year. Pray tell, how will 2020 be any different if you’re not doing anything different? You still think the same, speak the same, act the same, have the same conversations, do the same things and somehow it’ll be…different?

I want you to remember that 2019 isn’t over yet and there is so much we can still do in creating the life we want to live.

Now I don’t have all the answers but I do know a little something that might help. I learnt something recently from my mentor that has helped shape what I do now and it’s this; the work is your habits.

What do your habits say about you and your life? The state of your life is in direct correlation to the habits you have nurtured and practice on a daily basis. For example, if you work out regularly, it’s likely to be evident in your fitness, physique and mentality. Like the saying goes the proof is the pudding.

After a long day at work, like most I just want to plop onto my bed. I don’t want to do any ‘house stuff’ least especially laundry. The clothes are on my bed and I gear up to swiftly push them to the side and curl up on my bed but I pause. What does this act do for me? 1) Fosters laziness and procrastination 2) Increases workload 3) Messy space, messy life 4) Lack of clarity…you see, that ‘little thing’ isn’t worth all that comes with it, so in most cases, I’ll sort it there and then. Everything you do, is mapping out your life.

So, as you go about your daily activities today think about this, what is what I’m about to do say about me and my life? And if you find that the answer is negative, there is your starting point for you to do something about it.

Check your habits and if you don’t like the results it produces, change your habits.

Xo

Take A Picture

03 Tuesday Sep 2019

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Manifest, More Action, Motivation, Self-Development

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Acne, Document, growth, joy, Manifest, Motivation, Picture, Pimples, Problem skin, Progress, Roaccutane, Spots, Stress

84e2fe7f-4a56-4acc-a517-f19b12b53042It’s hard to see growth when there’s no tangible evidence. You can easily begin to think badly of yourself and how much you haven’t done and of all the things you have not accomplished.

There’s a great way to address that, document it.
I’m about to tell you a story, that might sound random, but follow it for a moment.

At the beginning of 2018 my acne flared up terribly. I had just finished 3 chemical peels back to back, in a bid to clear up acne scarring, believing that as I approached my 30s everything would settle down. Not my skin and not my face. Rather than reveal new skin, my acne returned with a vengeance. My skin was not happy with the peels or me and it showed. I felt defeated again. Who wants to be dealing with acne at any age never mind at 30!

Up until that point, there existed NO pictures of my bare face. Not one. Not one since I was 17. Not on my personal phone, not even in a place where’d it be hidden, where only I would be privy to it. Not even after 2 rounds of roaccutane (which significantly improved my skin temporarily), numerous facials, topical treatments and so on. Never. I didn’t want to see it. I didn’t want proof of it anywhere, thinking that if I didn’t have to see it, it’ll piss off and never return somehow.  It can’t exist if I do not acknowledge it right? Well it didn’t piss off and it did exist.

For years I hated pictures and was always running from a camera and deleting pictures from other people phones. Even today, I’m still not all that enthusiastic about it, however I am MUCH better than I used to be.

Anyway, I’m not sure what possessed me this time around, but I decided I would take pictures of my bare skin in June 2018. It was bad, really bad.

No one ever believes how problematic and scarred my skin was, because I was an expert at disguising most of it. Those with acne prone skin usually are. Now I’d have proof to show people when they’d say ‘you’re skin isn’t bad’, erm yes it was, let’s call a spade a spade.
Truthfully though, I had no intentions of showing anyone and still don’t. I did however, want to see the changes that might happen.

I took action to repair my skin for the umpteenth time and gradually it improved, but I wanted more. I wanted my blemish free taunt skin that I had pre-acne, that was until I looked at the picture I took a year ago. I was astounded by the difference.

I immediately felt immense gratitude for how far I’d come and the progress I had made. I couldn’t actually believe this was what it used to look like. I looked in the mirror again and appreciated how much had changed.

Being able to look back and see the difference between then and now instantly shifted my perspective on how I saw things and increased my confidence. I give myself a little bit more love and a pat on the back for not giving up.

You should consider doing the same. Write down your feelings or take pictures of what you’re doing/working on now, and if you feel compelled to regarding that particular thing, continue to do so. Over time, you will notice the leaps and bounds that you will have made, if only you will not give up and keep going.

xo

P.s Perhaps I’ll share pictures another time, when I am ready and or feeling much much braver lol.

Magic? No, Work.

25 Monday Mar 2019

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Experiences, Lessons Learnt, Life

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Achievement, action, change, Goals, happiness, life, lifestyle, Magic, Monday, Motivation, Procrastinate, success, Will Smith, Work

‘The magic you’re looking for is in the work you are avoiding’. I wish I could refute this statement with all of my might but I can’t.

As a professional work avoider, I know how much (temporary) enjoyment I get from skiving off. That is until the chickens come home to roost.

I also know that doing the work is the actual key to unlocking rewards. And there’s no other way around it.

Usually that piece of work that I avoid becomes easy once I start doing it, then I’m bemused because ‘what was the big deal?, why was I avoiding this?’.

I’d had been procrastinating on writing a business plan for my next venture. When I did get around to it, I realised I had already completed a large portion of it on a previous occasion (I must have been delirious whilst doing it). Oh. So I can do it then.

With the new week upon us, what work have you been running away from? Run towards it. Grab it by the horns and make it your bitc submit to you. You already have what it takes, use it. Even if you don’t know how, start with what you know and things will begin to unfold.

I’m learning that with what you want, you can’t be afraid to work and sometimes work hard, as it is the very thing that will call forth your desires.

Xo

Can You Focus On…Me?

17 Thursday Jan 2019

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Motivation, Thoughts in motion

≈ Leave a comment

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blogger, change, choice, Desire, focus, give up, Goals, Manifest, Motivation, new year, Not Giving Up, Refreshed, self, Speaker, vision, Work, writer

img_8202It’s the 17th January (already?!) and dare I ask, how is it going?

For some of the people I know it’s been, a bit, bluregh. And a bit bluregh is never a good way to feel. Maybe it’s the January blues or in London the gloomy weather? Whatever it is, as with most things, it’ll soon pass.

On my side it’s been quite slow, which I welcome because I know it’s not going to be like this for much longer.

As tradition dictates, with a new year comes new or refreshed goals. I have some that this time around I’m choosing to keep to myself however, I do have one that above all of them is absolutely necessary in order to meet my goals and that is to focus.

I used to hear as a child that ‘Irene is great and has potential but she lacks focus’, and now as an adult I understand more what they meant by that. I struggle to give a thing my undivided attention, so I’m gifting myself myself and working on improving my focus, little by little.

What are you working on?

My advice for any goals or desires you have is to take each day as it comes. Let things happen organically. I spent a considerable amount of time in the past forcing things to happen and the outcome always left me wanting.

To summarise, work with what works.

Xo

P.s Things will start look up, I promise 🙂

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Why Didn’t You Warn Me?!

Why Didn't You Warn Me?!

Why Didn't You Warn Me?! is a podcast speaking on the things you should know, but don't. The things you typically find out after the fact, and it's sometimes too late. Fear not, Why Didn't You Warn Me?! with Irene aka Lipstick, will give you the 411 through story-telling, conversations, and refreshing perspectives.

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