Tag Archives: new year

To Find Your Peace, Face Your Beast

Featured

Posted by in Lessons Learnt, Life, More Action, Motivation, relationships

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

To find your peace, you must face your beast.

Nothing good comes out of hiding. You may find temporary relief in avoiding the issue or suppressing the pain but all you will have done is put it on hold. When we do this, we set ourselves up for a huge explosion that we’re seldom prepared for. As my friend and I will say, you have to unpack your load.

To unpack (by our definition) means to delve into discovering the root cause of your issues and facing it head on. Is it easy? No. Sometimes you discover it’s not what you thought it was about and other times it’s related to previous experiences that you never quite dealt with.

Someone did something recently that I took great offense to. It wasn’t just the low level of regard and respect that they showed, it was how their actions triggered insecurities. I now had to unpack and work through it otherwise it’d definitely affect my day to day but ultimately rob me of my peace of mind. This situation signaled to me that I still had some work to do on myself in that area and that I am not quite ‘there’ yet.

Too often when something threatens to upset our psyche, we go to our vice to quickly appease ourselves. We find a big enough distraction to shift our focus and attempt to diminish what is brewing. We’re too afraid to face what is looming ahead, so quick lets bury ourselves in something. The effects of doing this tend to last much longer than if we were to deal with the problem. For example, this terrible saying of ‘The best way to get over a man is to get under a new one’. What you’re actually doing is adding onto your things to unpack.

Are we able to still move forward in life without dealing with the issue? Absolutely, it’s called denial and suppression. The thing with doing that however is that it can show up in other areas of your life in the most obscure way. It’s not always detectable but it’s always there.

With most things, you have to actively work for it and peace is no different. Whether you meditate on it or take action, it will require you to make the efforts to help yourself.

So do yourself a favour, the next time something threatens your stability, don’t shy away from it, take some time out to figure out what it is telling you about yourself and work on and through it.

It won’t happen over night but it will happen over time.

Peace xo

“New Year, New Me” Stop Lying!

Featured

Posted by in Life, More Action, Motivation

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

First of all, HAPPY NEW YEAR! However you spent it, I hope it was good for you.

At the start of the year, we’re so strongly convicted of all the things we’re going to do and how this time it’ll be different (queue in the ‘This is my year’ warriors). How Sway? You won’t push yourself, but somehow it’ll be different, you won’t change your habits, but somehow it’ll be different, you won’t commit to anything, but somehow it’ll be different, you won’t alter your thinking, but somehow it’ll be different. Do you and I a favour and stop being deceitful.

The reality is, changing and improving the quality of your life is A LOT of hard consistent work and the results of it may not materialise until months and years later, so the question is, how bad do you want it and can you go the distance?

The unrealistic expectations that we sometimes hold of ourselves cause us to repeatedly fall short of our goals (myself included). We have it in our minds that it’ll be easy to accomplish and when faced the actuality of it, opt out and resign to a life of mediocrity.

With anything worth having, you will have to put the work in, not only in attaining it but to maintain it also. Whether it’s money, career, relationships, family, if it is to be successful, you will have to constantly work for/at it.

What does the work look like in real life? Time, effort, patience, sacrifice, discipline, self-control, consistency, commitment, developing, sweat, tears, failure, restarting, stress, balance, challenge, criticism, the list is endless. And yes, looking at that list it’s very easy to see why anyone would say ‘It’s not for me bro’, but if you want it, it’s a package deal- You can’t pick and choose the bits you want.

In my experience, when trying to change anything, the idea is to focus your energy on one thing. Full focus and attention on one thing is bound to produce greater results at a rapid rate than giving your divided attention to many things. The latter is also a sure fire way to not only be ineffective but stagnant. You will feel like you’re working but the reality is you’re working on too many of the wrong things at the same time and going nowhere fast.

Now I’m not advocating that you abandon everything else, simply that you devote most of your efforts to accomplishing one thing before diversifying. Become skilled at one thing and that will give you the necessary tools to increase your success rate in other areas of your life. Continue as you are? Well you already know what that looks like.

Xo

‘If It Doesn’t Challenge You, It Won’t Change You’

Featured

Posted by in Lessons Learnt, More Action

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

, , , , , , , , , , , ,

I’d be the first to say I like an easy life. Stress and drama are not my kindred and so far as is possible I avoid it, but sometimes you simply can’t, sometimes its necessary.

I saw the above title on Instagram yesterday and all the ways this statement applies came flooding through my mind; the gym, my career, my relationships.

When hardship comes, we often look for the quickest way to stop it, instead of looking at how this can shape us to be better. We don’t want to struggle or to feel pain, but truth be told whether we like it or not it’ll come, the real test is in how we deal with it.

The challenges that come our way are an opportunity to become better and refine our character, however this will not be possible if every time something threatens our comfort we run or shut down.

Challenge is an integral part of anyone’s development, learn to embrace it and make it work for you not against you. When next it crosses your path, refuse to run or shut down, ask yourself ‘How can this make me better?’

Xo

This is 30!

Featured

Posted by in Experiences, Life

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , , , , , , , , , ,

I wish I could give you a play by play of everything that has been happening over the past few weeks but we’d be here forever. A few words to describe it would be a rollercoaster of emotions, testing and exciting.

At times it felt like a line from Mary Mary’s Shackles ‘everything that could go wrong, all went wrong at one time’. I couldn’t catch a break. For every disappointment, I steamrolled my way forward, refusing to stop, just dusting myself off and keeping it pushing. Of course there is only so long you can continue on that path until it all falls down, and that came the day before my birthday, a few hours before my dinner party. My emotions boiled over and momentarily a dam broke. Fortunately, I didn’t have the capacity to wallow in it because I had a dinner to be at, and not just any dinner at that, MY 30th birthday dinner.

The dinner was amazing! I am so fortunate to have had great people to help organise, plan and oversee the proceedings of the day as I could not have done it without them. It’s a huge blessing to also have friends and family that would show up and I’m incredibly grateful.

IMG_3041IMG_3072

IMG_3075

What do I think so far about being 30? It’s been 3.5 days and its too soon to have a fully formed answer to this, but so far, it feels like a coming into something new. I have renewed energy to appreciate the things that I have and to make even better what I have been given. Ironically,  I also feel like the baby of the next decade (lol) which is great and I don’t feel so “old”.

I’m excited about what’s next and looking forward to the year ahead. I want to be able to say this time next year “What a difference a year makes” in the most wonderful way.

What do you want to say this time next year?

Xo

 

 

 

Pain now, Gain later

23 Monday Jan 2017

Posted by in Experiences, Life, More Action, Thoughts in motion

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

What’s stopping you? Is it fear? Is it the work? Is it the lack of discipline?

For me, it is the pain of doing the work. The difficulty or should I say, the idea I have built in my mind of how difficult something is or how long it will take, is one of my stumbling blocks. I’m sure you have gathered by now that patience is not one of my strong suits. The irony is once I’ve done it, I say to myself, ‘Is that it? What was the big deal?!’.

You have to think of it this way, do the work now so that you can enjoy later. I love studying people (my favourite pastime) and when I looked at a lot of successful people, many of them were still reaping from what they sowed years and years and years ago. They are harvesting from the work, graft, grind, that they also found difficult to do at the time. Wouldn’t it be great to have something that continues to bear fruit in your life, years after it’s been done?

Let’s take a singer-songwriter for example. They wrote and performed a song, 10 years ago. When that song gets used in an advert, they get paid and recognition from it. When it’s used in a film, they get paid and recognition from it. Someone does a cover, they get paid and recognition from it.  This is all from one song that they created, in a room, spent hours recording, fine tuning, staying up late, perfecting the performance of it, creating a video for it, doing interviews to promote it,  and all the other host of things that come with being an artist. These are some of the pains, which later became profitable.

It could be anything in your life, getting a new job, reenergizing a relationship, clearing your debts, making an investment, learning a new trade, weight loss, producing content for YouTube, writing a book, a social enterprise, raising a family, anything worth having does not comes easy or overnight. Without doing the work, none of these things will materialize. It’s the natural order of life, sow first, reap second.

Like my mentor says ‘Do what others won’t, to get what others don’t’.

Xo

P.s I am doing the work too, albeit begrudgingly grrr.

Nobody is Coming to Save You.

04 Wednesday Jan 2017

Posted by in Experiences, Life, More Action, Thoughts in motion

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , , , ,

We’re a few days into the New Year, how is it going for you? I really hope it’s been amazing so far.

As for me, it was going great until all grades of shit hit the fan.Think of fresh baby poo flung onto the ceiling, it’s disgusting isn’t it?! That’s the kick life has just given me.

*Big fat, humongous sigh* Can I live?! Universe please cut me some slack at least for 12 months (and or the rest of my life), pleaserrrhh?! Do I have to get on my knees and beg? I’ll do it I promise you I will.

I wish I had a Clark Kent, so he could transport me anywhere I needed to be, most especially in times of conflict, or an Iron Man because he’s innovative, funny and loaded, or a batman, well actually, maybe not batman, he’s fallen off but you get my drift.

The reality is there are no superheroes hanging around, no one is coming to save you. Be your own hero and help yourself in any way you possibly can. That’s not to say there will not be some amazing people to assist you along the way, but before that happens you would have had to have (*I hate that I used had/have 3 times in a row, ugh!) made significant progress on your own. You must exhaust all opportunities and options available to you, you have to be proactive!

Definition of proactive: Creating or controlling a situation rather than just responding to it after it has happened.

The above definition sums up perfectly what we need to be doing regularly. I happen to find myself in the latter part, which is always a pain to rectify.

Where you end up in the next few months is largely down to you and the actions that you repeatedly take. Don’t fancy being in the same position this time next year? Change.

Decide that no matter what, you are going to accomplish your goals and conquer your problems. You can do it, you just have to keep trying constantly until there’s a crack that you can eventually bust wide open.

Take any set back as a great opportunity for a better come up. Don’t even sweat it.

Xo

P.s I promise in my next post I’m going to be a huge ball of positive energy, even if it is that I’m faking it. I think I owe it to you guys to give you some oomph, some va va voom, some voulez-vous coucher avec moi, too much? Okay bye.

*I was really struggling to restructure that sentence, so erm yeah, sorry not sorry. Wait, could you have written that differently? Help me out here.

2016: Final Thoughts

31 Saturday Dec 2016

Posted by in Dreams, Life, More Action, Thoughts in motion

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , , , , ,

What a crazy and challenging year!

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t looking forward to the New Year ahead. I am sooooooooo ready for it for many reasons.

I have learnt an incredible amount and there’s nothing like good ol’ trial and tribulations to grow you ‘real quick’.

I pushed myself and was pushed, I loved, I lost, I succeeded and failed miserably, I strengthened relationships and some I severed. All in all, these are the things that enrich my life for the better.

My top 5 takeaways are:

  1. Everything has a season. A time to sow and a time to reap. It will happen for you, be patient.
  2. BE patient
  3. Trust your intuition
  4. It will not work if you don’t
  5. Don’t force it. Pay to attention to what you really should be paying attention to and give that your energy.

I have to emphasise this, 2017 can only be better if you are. Do whatever you can that’s within your power to live your best life yet.

Be mindful of what you think, use caution when you speak, and act as often as you can.

I wish you a fantastic New Year and a MIND BLOWING 2017!!!

Much love

Irene Xo

P.s Some pics below from my recent birthday…I jumped out of a plane!  I’ll talk about my birthday another time, what an experience!

 

 

image3-1image2 (2).JPGOLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

 

Hey Copycat! Results may differ

14 Wednesday Dec 2016

Posted by in Experiences, Life, More Action, Thoughts in motion

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

, , , , , , , , , ,

This topic was a bit of a tricky one to articulate but I hope you get it.

This journey you are on called life, is tailored specifically just for you. It takes into consideration your strengths, weakness, gifts, abilities, environment, circumstances and everything in between. There is no other life like it and your only goal is to make the most of it, multiply whatever you have, be impactful and do your best to thrive. You cannot be duplicated, which means you cannot do the same to someone else. So no matter how alike you and someone else’s life might seem, yours is made just for you.

Okay now that’s out of the way, let’s get on with the rest of it.

We, humans of this planet (said in James Earl Jones voice), are all connected, so of course we’ll share similarities and certainly have things in common but be the same? And have the exact same experiences? Nope, sorry, not going to happen.

There is no harm in having people that you look up to, is there? I personally think it is good to have role models and be inspired by them, yet there is the danger that you’d want to replicate all that they do so that you can experience the same things they do, even though in practice it doesn’t always work out. Whether it is principles, products, services, formulas and the like, you have to be mindful that what works for them, doesn’t necessarily mean it will work for you. How many times have we done what someone else did and it didn’t quite have the same effect?

Life is not a one size fits all and it never will be. Sure there are some fundamental principles that reign supreme and always will, however, it is about tailoring it to make it applicable to your life. You have to keep working towards figuring out what works for YOU and stick with it until it has fully served its purpose.

Whatever you implement into your life that someone advises or did themselves, remember that you are not the same person and the results may differ, so STOP comparing yourself- It’s killing your vibe.

It’s like doctors say, do not share your prescription with anyone, even if the symptoms sound the same. The reason is because that person might have an underlying condition/allergy that can cause the medication to have adverse effects.

I have been blogging for over two years and there are people who started blogging this year, who have much more subscribers than I. Damn right I thought, “what the hell?!” I write that good stuff and think what I have to say is valuable, why don’t I have an increased amount of readership?

Here’s the thing, my purpose, goals, training, are completely different to anyone else’s. Whatever I don’t have yet, I choose to see it as I am being taught how to cultivate it by way of the lessons life teaches and wills me to learn. If, for example, I received ten thousand readers a year ago, maybe I would not have the discipline I have now. In fact I know I probably wouldn’t have, I might have been like ‘ahh yeah I’ll blog when I can’ but now, there is no way I would ever devalue those that take an interest in what I write and find it useful. What if I am not supposed to have a large amount of readers and this is it for me in this area? Well if that is the case that it is serving its purpose one way or another, whether I know it or not. It may even be preparing me for something wholly different.

When we pay attention to what someone else is doing we lose focus, will and control over our lives. Focus on you, that’s the only way to get the best results.

Know that your life is not to be mirrored; it is to be authentic, original and yours truly.

XO

Hello, it’s me…

13 Wednesday Jan 2016

Posted by in Life, Thoughts in motion, Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , , ,

Hello  from the other siiiiiiaaaahhhddd

Was that really corny? Ah well.

Happy New Year Guys!!!

Does anyone remember when people thought the world was going to end in the year 2000? Lol(or was it just religious people that thought this? :s)…16 years later, here we are!

Can I be brutally honest? The last couple of months have been horrendous in relation to writing anything. It’s been filled with a lot of starts but no middles and ends, which ultimately has caused me to be away for that period. I like to write from a place of not thinking, by that I mean, it’s not contrived or pretentious, just authentic with my thoughts and feelings. When I’m incapable of doing this, well, you know what happens…

Anyway, I just wanted to touch on something quickly. Every success story was once filled with many sleepless nights, tears, hard work, consistency and tenacity.

It’s so easy in this social media age to become disillusioned by what we see and to judge their grass to grace story as a failure of our own. Someone’s beauty, style, presence, talent and so on, does NOT negate nor devalue the existence of your own. You’re necessary and provide something unique in the same way that they do.

What you mustn’t do is compare. Comparison is the thief of joy and in this instance, you will never match up, ever. You will constantly find ways to judge yourself against them and come up short, so do yourself a favour, don’t do it.

Relish in your capabilities and individuality,let that be your compass. Focus on developing yourself further and keep a steady eye on the prize.

This year, let your light shine xo