Tag Archives: Now

Don’t Miss This Moment

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Don’t you just love Sunday’s? I love them because I get to really relax, and the pace always seems slower so I enjoy things even more. It makes me feel warm and fuzzy, speaking of which, how are you enjoying your Sunday?

A lot of us spend way too much time looking forward to what’s next, forgetting that this present moment, we had once wished for it.

We’re wanting more, bigger, better, and whilst it’s good to have aspirations, we run the risk of not appreciating the now.

I remember being a university student and how I couldn’t wait to graduate, as I was not enjoying the experience. Flash forward a few years, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve reflected on those moments, and wished I had done it a little differently or that I could go back and do it again.

This has taught me that I don’t want to ignore my present in favour an already lived past or a imagined future. I want to relish my now irrespective of what may be happening, because there are always things to be grateful for, always.

So as you hopefully enjoy this beautiful day and you plan your week ahead, always remember #MyNow has treasures in and it matters just as much as the next moment.

Xo

You Sow, You Reap.

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Just like yourself I need reminders all the time about the things I should be thinking about and working on and I received one this morning.

Whatever you’re living in now, is your harvest. Marinate on that for a moment.

Whilst it’s great to be living in the now as you should, we do need to consider how we are setting up for our future.

I needed this reminder today because too often we become complacent and abandon the responsibility we have in creating the circumstances we live in. No one is going to do the work for you, you have to get up and show up.

Spend some time today thinking about the state of your affairs. Realise the decisions, choices, thought processes and actions that you made to lead you to this point.

If you acknowledge that there is something you would like to create or change for your imminent or distant future, think about what that looks, take action and be consistent.

Remember you are manifesting as we speak (read- you know what I mean)…

And just so you know that I am doing the work too, I’ll share a recent experience with you.

I was reading the ES magazine last week Thursday and it had a story on Dina Asher-Smith. She is a British sprinter and her story motivated me to return to something I once loved, running. Reading the article conjured up old feelings and I decided that I would get back to it after 15 years and I would not give reasons (excuses) for not doing it.

Fortunately for me, I have a friend Cynthia who is a track athlete, sprinter and inspiration. I met her through a mutual friend of mine a little over 2 years ago. She turned up to my shambles of a 28th birthday soiree (that’s a story for another time), not long after giving birth to her second child.

The transformation from when I first met her to now is like day and night and solely down to her sheer will, discipline and commitment to her fitness and health even with a very active household to support. Not all hero’s wear capes, some of them live and work right next to you.

Anyway, I contacted Cynthia on Friday, was on the track on Tuesday and is currently suffering from the pain of having ran 5 x 200m with 1 minute recovery time between each (I took longer breaks lol). She, Emma and Eliza did 10 x 200m with a 1 minute recovery time, I personally could not…yet but I’m positive with more training and their encouragement I’ll be able to do it.

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This was just after our session on Tuesday. I’m smiling but I nearly died.

The point is when you make a decision, get the ball rolling and take action. Trust me, I didn’t want to turn up on Tuesday as I was tired AF, but I did and although I am in pain now my future body and health will thank me for it.

Xo

Relish the moment before it’s too late.

25 Friday Nov 2016

Posted by in Life, More Action, Thoughts in motion

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I’m really trying to slide back into your dm’s but having fallen out of the routine, it’s a bit of a struggle to begin posting regularly again. Huff.

Anyway, I attended a one day course called ‘Building Resilience’, which was brilliant! I gained a lot, but my biggest take away was learning how crucial it is to be in the present moment.  

My problem is that I am never here. My mind, my presence is almost always somewhere else: I need to be at the next place, doing something else, being somewhere else, creating something and hardly ever giving great attention to what it is I am currently doing-This is not a way to exist.

So in a bid to be in the now, I have decided to make the moment big-GER! You make the moment bigger by expanding it. Break down what’s happening into little bits, more specifically bits of things to be thankful for.

  • Think about the things you have now but once wished and prayed for.
  • Think about the things you are learning and what this current period is preparing you for.
  • Think about what you have achieved already that once seemed impossible
  • Think about all the wonderful things happening around you, live in that moment and give it ALL of your attention, lest (I like this archaic word ‘lest’) you find yourself in the future reminiscing about this stage right here or even worse having not prepared for the future you want!

From doing this over past couple of days, I have experienced a new level of peace and certainty that I don’t usually have because I spend most of my time worrying about everything. It’s definitely refreshing to have that peace of mind.

Join me in resolving to relish the moment, be more compassionate towards yourself, and occasionally pat yourself on the back for how far you have come irrespective of the circumstances, as truth be told not everyone made it through to today…

XO  

Ps The featured picture is my friend (the celebrant) and I at her birthday.

Pps My birthday is coming up soon…eek!

Mindfulness: Live in the now. 

25 Monday Jul 2016

Posted by in Experiences, Life, Thoughts in motion

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We have nurtured this habit of thinking about the next thing on the to do list, the next venue, the next job, the next bill, your partner, your house, the kids, job, your parents, world issues and the list is endless. If its not that, then you might be thinking of the past, the shoulda, woulda, coulda’s. What you would change, what you should have done, and how it could have been better.
With that said how well do you relish the present moment? Probably very little or hardly at all.

We’re often absent minded while doing things and not fully engaged. As a result, we tend to miss the little nuggets of richness, joy, and gratitude that we could be experiencing at that present time.

We think of ‘living life’ as this place out of the country, on a beach, with clear blue seas, white sand, and great weather and we clamour for that moment to have that release, that yes we have (albeit momentarily), arrived.

This ideology is a damning one, because assuming that is what we do, what happens to the reality that we inevitably return back to?

Why not consider making your everyday life a more enriching and pleasurable one by choosing to see the goodness in the things you are experiencing, be it good, bad or indifferent?

In other cases, people talk about when they get ‘there’ it will all be different, but how will it be different? It’ll be exactly the same if your mindset does not change on how you perceive things. If you cannot learn to be happy, grateful and feel rich with the small things, it’s unlikely you’ll feel that way with the big things.

It doesn’t matter what changes externally, if you do not shift your perspective and operate at a new level, that is not dependant on external factors, you will undoubtedly find yourself going around in circles looking for that peace of mind and happiness.

So rather than wait for that ‘time’ or that ‘place’, make a conscious effort to relish the very moment you’re having now. Take a deep breath, look at beautiful things, be attentive to your friends and family as they speak, think about what you’re doing, enjoy each bite of the meal that you were able to buy, be gratuitous to others, yourself and the things you have. Take stock of the great things happening around you, small and big and endeavour to completely connect and engage with it.

Be mindful, be grateful and definitely be present.

Ps I’d love to hear from you guys, you can contact me at info@lipstickandblackcoffee.co.uk , speak soon xo

‘A Change is gonna come’

29 Tuesday Mar 2016

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I hope you have enjoyed Easter and the bank holiday and returning to work hasn’t been the worse thing ever!

I spent my Saturday at a friends ‘Hen Do’, if I said it was eventful it’d be an understatement. Bubble football, sports day, cocktail making class, a stripp…, and lots of dancing. My body is still suffering from the aftermath of a fantastic time with great people, but anyway that isn’t the point of this post.

I have spent a lot of time thinking about my brand and the direction I would like to go in, and this is just to say, there will be some changes to follow in the next few months. I am hoping that you will still enjoy reading my posts but more so that you’ll be able to engage better.

Its necessary to evolve and I think I’m at that point of switching things up a little bit. We should always be learning and willing to grow, and I for one do not want to remain in the same place, doing the same thing and getting the same results.

If there are things that you want out of life, I hope you realise that there is no better time than now for you to make it happen. Everything you need to take you to the next stage in your life, you already posses.

Humor me, I did this the last week, I wrote down all of the assets that I have, be it physical or a quality and promised myself to make more use of them in any capacity. Do it! It might surprise you in knowing how much you have at your disposal. Anything you think might be useful no matter how small it is, write it down, then make a plan on how you’ll make better use of the things you have.

Whatever you do this week, do it with intention, passion and with an expectation.

 

‘I Wish I Was A Little Bit Taller, I Wish I Was Baller’

19 Monday Oct 2015

Posted by in Dreams, Experiences, Life

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I’m usually inspired by the people I meet and the conversations that I have. This particular dialogue is one that I have had with myself a lot. It’s the ‘I wish I could have’ one. My friend was talking about how he wishes he was a certain age again and what he would do differently-haven’t we all been there? Wishing we could go back in time and have that passion, that opportunity, that loved one, that money, but the truth is, we can’t go back, so what’s the point? Why hang onto ‘what used to be’ instead of relishing ‘what is and can be’.

Whenever that subject matter comes to mind, I actively think “stop holding onto the past, let it go, move on and be better”. Yes, you may not have the same drive, that chance or that relationship any more but what you do have is this moment right now. This moment to make things how you would want it to be, so that in a few years time, you can be happy and proud of the choices you’ve made and the way you have lived your life.

I have a friend I call ‘Mrs good times’ because she’s fond of looking back and saying those were good times yet I always say to her ‘but you didn’t think so at the time’. We are all guilty of doing that, wanting to rush into the next phase of our lives because the one we have right now just isn’t good enough and for many of us, it never will be. Our perception and consequently our attitude will determine how we feel about ourselves, and ultimately what we do.

2012 was an incredibly trying year for me. I was unemployed for most of it, to say that I was depressed would be using the word lightly. I had bills to take care of that superseded the amount of money I had at any given time.  I was working practically for free under duress; otherwise the meagre remuneration I was paid every two weeks would get cut off. After enduring a particularly difficult time, on my 25th birthday that year (which is mid December) I spent it crying my eyes out and I hate crying! I had well and truly reached my breaking point. Things eventually did get better. When I reflect on that period, there is one thing I had failed to realise, I did not appreciate the amount of time I had to myself.

My very first post on this blog was inspired by that season titled “Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time, for that is the stuff life is made of” a quote by Benjamin Franklin. I actually wrote that piece for a writing competition and decided to use it as my very first introduction to this blog site. I was completely blinded by my need to be self sufficient and pursue my aspirations that I could not see that the copious amount of time I had, could have been converted into creating work that required no one but me and my commitment. I started writing a novel in 2011 that I barely looked at in 2012. I was fixated on earning money, and seeking out others to give me an opportunity when there was one that I had in my hand. It was only after I began working again did I acknowledge the gem that I had been given.

Sometimes we go through things that we don’t fully understand all aspects of or value until much after the fact.

My rationale is this, no matter where you are at this present time, find the gift in it. Good or bad, there is always something to learn, develop and use to your greater advantage.

“The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly.”-Buddha

 

Time Wasters

09 Tuesday Sep 2014

Posted by in Life, Self-Development

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Let’s just get to it. I like many of you do not like my time being wasted, point, blank and the period!

I find little sense in turning a simple process into a drawn out blueprint of the empire state building, if you know what I mean. It’s unnecessary, a bore and more than that is thoroughly frustrating.

I’m sure we could name a few people off the top of our heads that are not very useful and have no problem wasting your time or theirs for that matter, ggrrrr to those people!

However, such people are not the focus of this post, they were the initial inspiration but this post is not about them, this message is for you and I.

It is impossible to control the actions of another person so it will be redundant to rant and rave about someone’s terrible behaviour and actions without introspection on our own part.

I had a recent incident that (for lack of a better expression) drove me up the wall! I spent some time being annoyed with a situation and in that moment felt stuck and unable to progress. I wanted them to take responsibility for their lives and manage their business properly…Fat chance -_-

After reflecting on this, I acknowledged that there was some part of it that I played in the whole situation, albeit a minute one. This minute part ironically impacted on me significantly. The breadth that I afforded it, was further contribution towards my aggravation.

Sometimes we spend a great amount of time complaining when things aren’t going well, holding that situation hostage and going over it, over and over again creating it to be much larger than it ever need be. We have now spent that time being irritable with the chain of events or lack thereof, that in its place could have been used to be industrious and beneficial for us. The same amount of time used focusing on a problem can be used to create a solution.

The time we have is OURS to use however we see fit and should not be wasted on ineffective things or people.

What you use your time to do determines the kind of life you live. Whatever you spend your time doing will reflect in your day-to-day life. I once read something that said “If you are broke this time next year you only have yourself to blame” and that has stuck with me. You + activity x time= results.

So if you are in a position that YOU were in last year then it is evidence as to what you did or did not do with your time.

Some people will say “I am waiting for the perfect time” and my response to that is, such a time does not exist-You have to create it to be that way. People make plans for what they will do in the future for what they can actually begin to do now.

For example, you want to build your own house do you a) Wait till to have enough money b) Hope, wish and pray for someone to give you a lifeline or c) Begin the ground work for building a house without the capital. The pragmatic thing to do is c, you should always prepare for something as if it is right in front of you. The more you work at it the more achievable it becomes. You can speak to architects, contact construction companies, find out if you require planning permission and so on whilst you are working on attaining the capital. There is a wealth of knowledge to be acquired during that time which immediately becomes applied knowledge once the money is available. There is nothing more regressive than finally having the money and realising that you haven’t got the slightest idea on how to go about building your house. What would eventually happen is that you’ll end up wasting resources trying to figure it out, which could have been averted, if the proper planning was executed. When you are prepared, opportunities are quickly to come.

Those minutes that seem miniscule in the grand scheme of things, are crucial in building up the right habits that will enhance your life. To form any habit be it good or bad, time must be spent investing. You may view 5 minutes or 10 minutes as not enough time but that’s EXACTLY what you need to create a habit. In fact the act of not doing something because you THINK you don’t have time IS a habit in itself, its called procrastination!

Living in the “I can’t do this” means you won’t ever do it or even worse you will be forced to give it attention. You might think 30 minutes exercise isn’t sufficient and therefore put it off till you have more “time”, tell that to your doctor who now says you have to lose weight or you’ll be at a higher risk of heart disease or I can’t commit to creating this invention right now as I need days and weeks and then watching Dragons Den and seeing someone with your same idea get the investments they need to make it a global brand-feel the burn…

So three things to remember:

  • Don’t be a time waster. You chose who, what, when and how it is used
  • Every minute is valuable (Think about the person who was a minute too late in saying goodbye to their loved one). Your life is a direct reflection of what you have been doing.
  • If you want something, start now, don’t put off till tomorrow what you can begin to do today.

I end with this quote “Don’t look for the next opportunity, the one you have in hand is the opportunity”-Paul Arden

PS  Time is To Impact (your) Maximum Existence