I don’t know whether there are people who are unaffected by rejection and if they exist someone point them my way, I need some tips.
I think most would agree that being rejected once, sucks, but multiple times? Its the worst. And yet it’s inevitable, we cannot escape it no matter who we are or where we are from, we have to deal.
So how do we deal? When things aren’t going how we would like, there’s a tendency to lump all bad experiences together and make it one big ball of pain. This undoubtedly makes it more difficult to move past the experience(s).
“I applied for this role and didn’t get it”
“I missed out on getting onto this course because I was shy of 2 points”
“She left me for someone else”
“My colleague was given the promotion over me, although I am more qualified”
Imagine putting all of those together and wondering why you feel so crap afterwards. Don’t do it.
I have taken a number of L’s this year, do I stop? Do I give up? Do I no longer make the effort? No no and no! (And yes I’m definitely guilty of the above, I’m champion woe is me).
Some rejections I was unfazed by, others made me question myself over and over again. It happens to the best of us.
For example, I applied for 6 positions at my current organisation, did you hear me? I said SIX. After the first 2 rejections, I felt like shit. Most of the roles I applied for, I was more than capable of doing based on my skills and experience, but it wasn’t happening and I did not understand why. The feedback I received was positive but I just missed it. To make matters worse:
- Most of the people I work with have been pushing for me to get something permanent and so I constantly have colleagues coming up to me, giving me information on jobs, agencies and the like…all the time.
- It’s embarrassing. And whilst I appreciate/d the support it made me feel useless. Like why can’t I get together?! Frustrating to say the least!
- This was a 6 month contract. I have been here 18 months which I’m thankful for, however MANY people have left and been able to find better roles. I MUST be the problem.
After the 3rd interview and it was a no (the other 3 I never heard back from), I thought right, what’s really happening here? After some reflection I realised apart from improving my interview techniques, my future is not attached to this company at all. I’d be settling here. I enjoy working with the people, however the roles have been something ‘to do’ and that’s definitely not what I want for my life and the universe has heard me.
From these experiences I have learnt that it is best to treat each situation separate from the other. One negative experience, failure or rejection need not be compounded to conclude that you are indeed a “bum”. Instead, focus on the lessons to be learnt.
Rejection does not have to be failure, it can be redirection and a chance to do it differently. You also don’t know what you’re being saved from.
It can be tough and you’ll want wallow in self-pity, but choose to dust yourself off, be a good student, and give it another go.