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~ To A Life Worth Living xo

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Tag Archives: peace

Little Pockets Of Joy

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Posted by Irene Ephraim in Life

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blogger, Christmas, enjoy, joy, life, Love, Mondaymotivation, peace, Wordpress

Joy is usually reserved for the ‘big’ moments. Moments like a new car, house, engagement, pregnancy, job and the like.
It’s also solely thought of as something that is given to you, rather than something you can cultivate for yourself. This is where Little Pockets of Joy comes in.
I believe in en•joy•ment of the mundane, typical, everyday stuff. Because if one day, those things ceased to exist, you’ll quickly realise how much of a gift and a joy it was to have.
Enjoy– ‘in joy’, i.e to be in the joy, to be present with it, to recognise its beauty and what it is to you.

I experience joy when I get underneath my duvet and to express this, I starfish like a maniac (you should try it), simply because I can.

I experience joy when I make a coffee or one is made for me. That first sip is pure pleasure–A hug in a cup.

I experience joy when my partner buys me baked beans from M&S in Central Paris, as it’s not really a thing here. I get to have an English breakfast.

I experience joy in solitude. Quiet time for me is where my energy bar is recharged.

I experience joy when I receive pictures and videos of my nephew. To see him grow is wonderful!

To put it plainly, joy is wherever I set it. It’s available to me and you, at any time and anywhere.

As you continue your week, e(i)n-joy what seems normal and ordinary, and you might find that it’s anything but.

#LittlePocketsofJoy

Xo

#LittlePocketsofJoy

LATEST POSTS

I Made It

33 held so much for me. I felt like I couldn’t fully exhale for a few reasons.Give or take the inaccuracies of reported history, Jesus was 33 when he ascended. My late friend was also 33 when he ascended. And a small part of me had come to anticipate that this too could be my …

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by Irene Ephraim December 17, 2021

CAN YOU HEAR YOURSELF?

The constant chatter is overwhelming. One person says this, another person says that. Your mum says it’s this way, your brother says it’s the other. Then there’s the people who love to be contrarian with no actual thoughts of their own, just adept at piggybacking off what a group of people might agree upon and finding a …

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by Irene Ephraim December 13, 2021

Cloudy With A Chance Of…

One day you’re fine, life is good and the air is filled with prospects that you could almost pluck them like the squiggly lines you see when you look at a blue sky. The following day however, you’re freezing your bits off, your umbrella is inside out and the contents of your bag have just …

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by Irene Ephraim December 6, 2021

The Improbable Is Still Possible 

Improbable–not likely to be true or to happen.I saw a TikTok of a guy doing the improbable. Getting two basketballs into a hoop using a crutch, throwing a CD into a moving Wii console, releasing ping pong balls with the aim of reaching various points and so on.   It was fascinating to watch. In a different …

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by Irene Ephraim December 2, 2021December 2, 2021

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September

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Posted by Irene Ephraim in Motivational & Intentional

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Abundance, author, Fresh Start, happiness, intention, joy, Life Coach, Lifeologist, Monday, Monday Motivation, New week, peace

The feeling of a crisp Monday morning cannot be replicated by any other day of the week. It’s full of both promise and dread in equal amounts.
What will it bring? What will I have to tackle? What joy will I experience? What task might feel too great? And whilst you marinate on it, you’ll never know for certain until you embark on it.
Isn’t it exciting and empowering that you and I, in small and big ways can contribute to what we encounter this week? Such power.
Let’s use it wisely to set intentions, renew commitments, release the ones that no longer fit, and allow room for whatever needs to be done, seen or felt.

Here’s to a stupendous week ahead (this is my intention) xo

A Little Value for the Value

LATEST POSTS

A Long Way From Home

Sometimes, it is necessary to look back. I randomly came across email exchanges from 14 years ago. What I saw shocked, embarrassed and made me laugh until tears fell. My verbal communication was abysmal. How did anyone ever engage in written conversation with me? and furthermore why? Were they nuts?! I didn’t go looking for …

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by Irene Ephraim November 26, 2021November 26, 2021

Treat It Like An Exam

Treat it like an exam. This came to me at 7:46am this morning.  I was pondering on the how’s of a particular thing. I quickly snapped out of it like a Raven Baxter premonition because the ‘how’ is none of my business. The ‘do’ is where it’s at. And by do, that means doing it …

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by Irene Ephraim November 23, 2021

Accelerate Your Life

The New Year is fast approaching, and it’s the time many people begin to reflect and go over the year. It’s at this point that people panic and have great anxiety over what they did or didn’t do and resolve to do better…in the new year.Why wait, when you can get a headstart now. One …

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by Irene Ephraim November 21, 2021November 23, 2021

Little Pockets Of Joy

Joy is usually reserved for the ‘big’ moments. Moments like a new car, house, engagement, pregnancy, job and the like. It’s also solely thought of as something that is given to you, rather than something you can cultivate for yourself. This is where Little Pockets of Joy comes in. I believe in en•joy•ment of the …

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by Irene Ephraim November 16, 2021

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Protect Your Peace

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Posted by Irene Ephraim in Life

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Bliss, Desire, happiness, Inner peace, intention, joy, peace

I think we’ve all realised how important being in the right environment is to our mental, emotional and physical health.

Photo by Maria Orlova on Pexels.com

So much has broken down during this period, because of inhabitable spaces, toxic relationships and abusive behaviours. The effects of these things are damning and dangerous. 
But all hope is not lost. 

Protecting your peace and following your bliss means taking risks. Big ones. Ones that scare the crap out of you, that turn your stomach, and make you second guess yourself. Ones, that there is no looking back. Yes, those ones. 
Could it be murky, scary, dark initially? Possibly. It could also be liberating, beautiful, freeing and life-changing.

‘Oh but I don’t know what’ll happen…’ Darling, we never know. The idea that we can guarantee results is wishful. We’re always wishful, with our thoughts, words and actions, and sometimes we hit the mark and other times we miss it entirely. But do we not try because we cannot ensure it? No! We do it anyway. 

And I don’t use wishful to be flippant, but as it’s defined by ‘having or expressing a desire or hope for something to happen’.

Our life is our responsibility. We can no longer hold onto what our parents did or didn’t do. That has passed. What will you do about making your life, a life that you do not want to run away from or hate?

Whatever you stay in or give to, that does not cultivate your best self will continuously break you down. Choose differently.
Be radical with redesigning your life and protecting your peace.
There will always be something happening, you cannot keep waiting for the ‘right’ moment–the ‘right’ moment is whenever you decide to move.

Xo

P.s I think it’s wonderful that February started on a Monday and will end on a Sunday.

LATEST POSTS

Promise + Possibilities 

Promise– the quality of potential excellence.Possibilities– a thing that may happen or be the case. That we get to be here and experience a new week full of promise and possibilities is magical. I love that for us. Who knows what wonderful, delightful thing may happen to and for us. The promise within that, makes me …

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by Irene Ephraim November 8, 2021November 8, 2021

Winning in Real Life

Successful 1. accomplishing a desired aim or result. 2. having achieved fame, wealth, or social status. The media will have you believe that houses, cars, money, having a partner, and followers are the epitome of success. We inherently know this isn’t true, yet we still uphold them as markers of significant value. We yearn to have …

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by Irene Ephraim November 5, 2021

Follow Through

When I thought of today’s word, I’d already accepted that I had very little of it. Routines and monotony are not my strong suits. And then I looked up the definition and I was surprised. It’s shifted my perspective and has given me food for thought. We use discipline to strictly imply no stick-to-it-ness, but it’s official meaning …

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by Irene Ephraim November 4, 2021

Self vs Self

Ego–A person’s sense of self-esteem or self-importance.A slippery slope or protective armour? I’d it’s both. It’s also described as the part of the mind that mediates between the conscious and the unconscious and is responsible for reality testing and a sense of personal identity. The ego is accused of many things, namely in negative outcomes, …

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by Irene Ephraim November 3, 2021

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Nothing Lasts Forever

19 Tuesday Mar 2019

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Experiences, Lessons Learnt, Life

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Frustration, God, Gratitude, Hardships, Higher Power, life, Life Lessons, Meditate, peace, Relationships, Struggle, Tests, Therapy, Trials

facetune_05-03-2019-16-28-25.jpg

Nothing lasts forever and that’s not a bad thing.

I’m in this weird I-don’t-really-know-wtf is happening phase of life. You know the one, the one where things refuse to go the way you want it to and you can’t make sense of it.

Thankfully this won’t be a forever thing. Like the good book says ‘this too shall pass’ and I am clinging to those words fiercely. And you should too.

Knowing that ‘life comes at you fast’ is why I do my best to relish the great things I experience and to find the good things during hard times.

To savour the great times here are a few things I do:

1. Be present. Pay attention to your surroundings. Notice the colours, what you see, smell, who you’re with, where you are. Use all of your senses to interact and connect with the moment.

2. Be thankful. I make seemingly small moments bigger by being grateful for the things I am able to do. I take just a few seconds to be thankful for what I’m experiencing. Things like withdrawing money, buying food, paying a bill, getting my nails done, looking at my family, using my phone. You get my drift. And in doing these things, I notice what I feel about being able to do these things and remember it.

3. Give. Whatever you are able to do no matter how small or big for another person or cause, do it. It does not have to be the obvious things like money, it could be time, encouragement, fixing something, anything you’re led to. I firmly believe that irrespective of your state there’s always something you can do.

To elevate your spirit during difficult times:

Do your best to keep doing the above.

1. With being present, look at the things you typically take for granted and are easily overlooked. Things you always have and do not struggle for and cherish it that much more.

2. Do more of the things you enjoying doing. It could be a hobby or improving a skill you have or even learning a new one. I started cooking more which I hardly did. I’ve made some meals I haven’t made in almost 5 years and I feel much better for it. The idea is to not place so much focus & mental energy on what isn’t working out as doing that only exacerbates the situation in your mind. It’s especially important in cases where it is out of your hands.

3. Meditate everyday. Make time to be quiet and still and…talk to yourself out loud (not loudly). If you believe in a higher power, talk to them instead. You can start with 5 minutes a day and use your phone to set an alarm for this session. I currently don’t use music but when I do it’s either rain sounds or spa music, however silence is my preference. With the busyness of life, having ‘you’ time to reflect and create is essential to being able to function well. Might sound unusual but it actually can be therapeutic to be your own counsellor. I always feel refreshed afterwards.

Hope this helps.

Xo

Trials

21 Friday Dec 2018

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Life, Thoughts in motion

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

death, December, forward, Honest, life, Lost, Love, peace, Relationships, Sadness, Truth, vision

img_5527Whew it’s been a minute.

It’s not that I haven’t thought about you, I have. I think about you often and want to write. I pick up my phone, open notes and nothing. Stringing a sentence together has felt like pulling teeth and if I am honest I simply haven’t felt like it.

I know you’re supposed to push past those feelings, as that’s how you develop discipline, but in the midst of that, I have been figuring out what life is, especially after the passing of Franklin. And for a period everything seemed pointless and at times it still does.

I’m working that out though, making it make sense to me because I need it to. I do however acknowledge that the reality is I may not receive the total peace I need from this, unless I just let it go…and I’m not ready yet.

Anyway, I celebrated my birthday on Monday and it was different. I was different. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but the word calm or should I say unbothered springs to mind and I’m not sure if I like it yet (lol). I was eerily still inside.

Maybe it’s because I’m currently in a different country?

Maybe it’s everything that’s happened over the past few months?

Maybe it’s the quiet confidence they say you’ll get once you’re in your 30s?

Even with all of that I am grateful to have witnessed another year of life.

I’m saying all of this as I believe it’s important to be truthful about your experiences, not only to yourself but to others, as only then will you be able to move through them with more ease. And you never know who will find solace in your truth.

So consider this post a breaking of the seal as till the end of the year I’m going to be here, she says.

Thank you all for your continuous support and you’ll read me tomorrow xo

Ask the Right Questions

31 Wednesday Oct 2018

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Life, Thoughts in motion

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Beach, Business, Debt, Heartbreak, Knowledge, life, Money, peace, Practice, Property, Question, relationship

img_4754A few friends of mine would make fun of me saying I asked too many questions.  ‘Questionnaire’ is what they’d call me.

I don’t always need to have the full information but enough for me make an informed decision; after all my brain works, why should I leave all the decision making to someone else especially when it impacts me?

I made a decision to do things completely different and set a goal for completion at end of 2019.  To achieve it will require a different version of who I have been to date.

So I started asking myself questions, questions about what I would need to do, the knowledge I need to have, the places I need to be in, the people I need to talk to, the time frame it needs to be done in, the money I’d need to invest, what I’d need to invest in, the mind set I need to have, the practices I need to change, the ones I have to adopt, what I have to cut, and so on. And then I answered them.

I pushed myself to think past the confines that I am used to and this process has put me in a completely different headspace, and for the things I did (do) not know, I research, I study, I apply it.

Too often we think others know so much more than we do and completely undervalue the wealth of knowledge, skill and experience we do have or have access to. Don’t.

Ask questions, don’t be a zombie that follows the status quo. Challenge yourself and it might surprise you in realising what you know or even what you don’t know and now know that you need to.

If you want to live a life that is completely debt free, ask the questions, do the work.

If you want to live on a beach in a tropical country, ask the questions, do the work.

If you want to have £100,000 in 1 year, ask the questions, do the work.

If you want to buy your first property, ask the questions, do the work.

If you want peace, ask the questions, do the work.

You get my drift.

It’s not about knowing everything, it’s starting with what you know that gets you closer to where you want to be; whether it’s dealing with heartbreak, making a large purchase, starting a business or having a healthy relationship with your partner.

Xo

Don’t Forget to Exhale 

19 Friday Oct 2018

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Experiences, Life, Travel

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Exhale, Food, Friday Night, Gratitude, Healthy, Leon, life, Love, Meditate, peace, Quiet, Serenity, Weekend

img_3353Hey. Psst. Don’t run off to start your weekend just yet, read me, it’ll only take a couple of minutes.

I love a Friday night just like anyone else except I prefer to stay in to unwind and decompress.

If you’re a Londoner like me or live in a city where the pace is fast, it’s very easy to be always on the go, even when there’s no reason to be. Over time you can become so overwhelmed and bogged down with it all, that you just want to run away.

For some of us, a break means leaving the country, but that isn’t always necessary, you don’t have to run away. You can stay and get the peace of mind that you want right where you live.

You might have lots of ‘busy’ plans this weekend, you know the ones I’m talking about, doing something for doing something sake. Stop. Slow it down and exhale.

When I want a time out from everything (so I don’t lose my entire marbles), there are a few things that I do and I’ll share one, okay maybe two with you.

1. Be in silence

With technology being a huge part of our lives, we’re constantly plugged in from the moment we wake up to the time we lay our heads to rest.

Tonight when you get in after work or over the weekend, lay on your bed, do nothing, listen to nothing, let it be quiet so that all you can hear is white noise or the clock ticking. Don’t have your lights or anything that uses electrical energy on. Allow yourself to recharge whilst you’re awake.

In this stillness you’ll find the chatter in your head will amplify. Notice what you think about and if it’s not harmonious with your wants, gently steer it in the direction you want it go.

You can do this as regularly as you want, for as long as you want. Just be still.

2. Explore your area or an area of your choice, alone.

I do this all the time. I love exploring the places I go to, I find so many gems and have wonderful and enlightening experiences by doing so. Doing things like encourages self-sufficiency and reaffirms that I am enough and don’t require any extra’s.

img_4111Lastly (okay that’s three), eat good. You can buy or make it just as long as you enjoy it. Let it be a moment. There’s something truly humbling about being able to eat what you want. I’m sure most of us can recall being too broke to afford anything but the basics so when you eat, do not forget to be grateful.

This is one of my favourite meals from Leon’s.

Have a fabulous weekend, till next week ciao! xo

To Find Your Peace, Face Your Beast

09 Tuesday Jan 2018

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Lessons Learnt, Life, More Action, Motivation, Relationships

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2018, Beast, growth, honesty, Insecurity, inspire, Men, Motivation, new year, peace, Relationships, trigger, Truth, unpack, Women, Writing

To find your peace, you must face your beast.

Nothing good comes out of hiding. You may find temporary relief in avoiding the issue or suppressing the pain but all you will have done is put it on hold. When we do this, we set ourselves up for a huge explosion that we’re seldom prepared for. As my friend and I will say, you have to unpack your load.

To unpack (by our definition) means to delve into discovering the root cause of your issues and facing it head on. Is it easy? No. Sometimes you discover it’s not what you thought it was about and other times it’s related to previous experiences that you never quite dealt with.

Someone did something recently that I took great offense to. It wasn’t just the low level of regard and respect that they showed, it was how their actions triggered insecurities. I now had to unpack and work through it otherwise it’d definitely affect my day to day but ultimately rob me of my peace of mind. This situation signaled to me that I still had some work to do on myself in that area and that I am not quite ‘there’ yet.

Too often when something threatens to upset our psyche, we go to our vice to quickly appease ourselves. We find a big enough distraction to shift our focus and attempt to diminish what is brewing. We’re too afraid to face what is looming ahead, so quick lets bury ourselves in something. The effects of doing this tend to last much longer than if we were to deal with the problem. For example, this terrible saying of ‘The best way to get over a man is to get under a new one’. What you’re actually doing is adding onto your things to unpack.

Are we able to still move forward in life without dealing with the issue? Absolutely, it’s called denial and suppression. The thing with doing that however is that it can show up in other areas of your life in the most obscure way. It’s not always detectable but it’s always there.

With most things, you have to actively work for it and peace is no different. Whether you meditate on it or take action, it will require you to make the efforts to help yourself.

So do yourself a favour, the next time something threatens your stability, don’t shy away from it, take some time out to figure out what it is telling you about yourself and work on and through it.

It won’t happen over night but it will happen over time.

Peace xo

Mindfulness: Live in the now. 

25 Monday Jul 2016

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Experiences, Life, Thoughts in motion

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blogger, Gratitute, happiness, joy, Live, mindfulness, Now, peace, Present, Rich, Speaker, Wealthy, writer

We have nurtured this habit of thinking about the next thing on the to do list, the next venue, the next job, the next bill, your partner, your house, the kids, job, your parents, world issues and the list is endless. If its not that, then you might be thinking of the past, the shoulda, woulda, coulda’s. What you would change, what you should have done, and how it could have been better.
With that said how well do you relish the present moment? Probably very little or hardly at all.

We’re often absent minded while doing things and not fully engaged. As a result, we tend to miss the little nuggets of richness, joy, and gratitude that we could be experiencing at that present time.

We think of ‘living life’ as this place out of the country, on a beach, with clear blue seas, white sand, and great weather and we clamour for that moment to have that release, that yes we have (albeit momentarily), arrived.

This ideology is a damning one, because assuming that is what we do, what happens to the reality that we inevitably return back to?

Why not consider making your everyday life a more enriching and pleasurable one by choosing to see the goodness in the things you are experiencing, be it good, bad or indifferent?

In other cases, people talk about when they get ‘there’ it will all be different, but how will it be different? It’ll be exactly the same if your mindset does not change on how you perceive things. If you cannot learn to be happy, grateful and feel rich with the small things, it’s unlikely you’ll feel that way with the big things.

It doesn’t matter what changes externally, if you do not shift your perspective and operate at a new level, that is not dependant on external factors, you will undoubtedly find yourself going around in circles looking for that peace of mind and happiness.

So rather than wait for that ‘time’ or that ‘place’, make a conscious effort to relish the very moment you’re having now. Take a deep breath, look at beautiful things, be attentive to your friends and family as they speak, think about what you’re doing, enjoy each bite of the meal that you were able to buy, be gratuitous to others, yourself and the things you have. Take stock of the great things happening around you, small and big and endeavour to completely connect and engage with it.

Be mindful, be grateful and definitely be present.

Ps I’d love to hear from you guys, you can contact me at info@lipstickandblackcoffee.co.uk , speak soon xo

Keep them hostage or set yourself free? 

13 Wednesday Jul 2016

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Experiences, Life, More Action, Thoughts in motion

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Anger, blogger, Forgiveness, Hostage, life, Love, peace, Prisoner, writer

I didn’t want to write today, heck I still don’t, but I made a commitment and I’m sticking to it.

As I started my journey into work today, I began to think of the hurts a particular person had caused me. Needless to say, I became very angry, very quickly, to the point of silently seething. I had thoughts that were infinitely negative and leading me down a path of unrighteousness.

I had to stop and change the conversation I was having with myself. Almost like a pep talk to encourage myself to forgive and to let go, forgive and let go, forgive and let go. 

My initial feeling was no, I don’t want to, I want to keep them hostage as in some strange way it, makes me feel justified. As if they’re paying retribution by you refusing to let them of the hook. Of course this is not happening, in reality it’s quite the opposite. It is keeping you hostage and blocking you from receiving other blessings and opportunities that come your way.

Deep down I knew it was no good. No good for them, no good for me and no good for anyone else that I chose to have in my life by harbouring the hurts.
I have/had to forgive. Forgiveness is always easier said than done. What I have realised is that sometimes it’s a process. You can feel in your heart that you have truly forgiven someone one day and the next totally want to strangle them.

That’s completely normal to feel a range of emotions but the end result is to wholly, earnestly, forgive someone for their transgressions and release them. Not just for them, but for yourself, for your future, for your freedom.

Don’t allow your anger or pain to keep you in the dark.

XO

Ps Talk about faux pas, I didn’t upload a post on Monday oh.mm.gee. Ugh I thought it had posted, well that’s annoying lol.

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Why Didn’t You Warn Me?!

Why Didn't You Warn Me?!

Why Didn't You Warn Me?! is a podcast speaking on the things you should know, but don't. The things you typically find out after the fact, and it's sometimes too late. Fear not, Why Didn't You Warn Me?! with Irene aka Lipstick, will give you the 411 through story-telling, conversations, and refreshing perspectives.

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