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~ To A Life Worth Living xo

lipstickandblackcoffee

Tag Archives: Persistence

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Posted by Irene Ephraim in Life, Thoughts in motion

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Commitment, Discipline, Persistence

When I thought of today’s word, I’d already accepted that I had very little of it. Routines and monotony are not my strong suits. And then I looked up the definition and I was surprised.
It’s shifted my perspective and has given me food for thought. 
We use discipline to strictly imply no stick-to-it-ness, but it’s official meaning indicates something a bit different. 

Discipline 

1. the practice of training people to obey rules or a code of behaviour, using punishment to correct disobedience. 

2. a branch of knowledge, typically one studied in higher education.

There are other definitions but these are the commonly recognised ones.
The words that stood out to me (and not in the best way) were obey rules, code of behaviour & punishment.

This insight has given me greater permission to limit self-flagellation, because I’m a human being and not something to be subjugated.
What might be a better descriptor for we need more of is tenacity, determination, commitment, persistence, consistency or perseverance. It is not discipline that’s missing as no one needs to be punished, penalised or forced into line, which is what many of us think when we consider ourselves lacking.

Words are potent, know its spell and be intentional.

Xo

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LATEST POSTS

I Made It

33 held so much for me. I felt like I couldn’t fully exhale for a few reasons.Give or take the inaccuracies of reported history, Jesus was 33 when he ascended. My late friend was also 33 when he ascended. And a small part of me had come to anticipate that this too could be my …

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by Irene Ephraim December 17, 2021

CAN YOU HEAR YOURSELF?

The constant chatter is overwhelming. One person says this, another person says that. Your mum says it’s this way, your brother says it’s the other. Then there’s the people who love to be contrarian with no actual thoughts of their own, just adept at piggybacking off what a group of people might agree upon and finding a …

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by Irene Ephraim December 13, 2021

Cloudy With A Chance Of…

One day you’re fine, life is good and the air is filled with prospects that you could almost pluck them like the squiggly lines you see when you look at a blue sky. The following day however, you’re freezing your bits off, your umbrella is inside out and the contents of your bag have just …

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by Irene Ephraim December 6, 2021

The Improbable Is Still Possible 

Improbable–not likely to be true or to happen.I saw a TikTok of a guy doing the improbable. Getting two basketballs into a hoop using a crutch, throwing a CD into a moving Wii console, releasing ping pong balls with the aim of reaching various points and so on.   It was fascinating to watch. In a different …

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by Irene Ephraim December 2, 2021December 2, 2021

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Where’s Your Head At?

12 Tuesday Jun 2018

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Experiences, Lessons Learnt, Life, Motivation

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blogger, challenge, choice, decision, Different, Experiences, Fight, Mindset, Monday, Motivation, Persistence, Positive, Speaker, Work, writer

A few months back there was a big boxing match that I wanted to watch and for the life of me I can’t recall who was fighting now because it was so so dry.

Usually when big boxing matches are coming up, my friends and I look for a venue to watch it at, however we can never quite get it together and it’s always by some stroke of luck that we find somewhere at the very last minute.

Anyway this fight was coming up and I was completely over the palaver of trying find somewhere. Nope, not doing it. I am not looking for a place, a vibe, a nothing, but, I still had the issue of wanting to watch the fight, so what do I do? Then it hit me, ‘Irene, pay for it and watch it at home DURH!’. That’s what anyone with common sense would do, right? Except I was so used to having the mind frame of watching it with others, in their space and on their dollar that it never ever occurred to me that I could just pay for it myself and watch it in the comfort of my own home, without the hassle. Genius idea.

It might sound minute to you, but it shocked the hell out of me because I hadn’t realised that even in something as small as this I had become conditioned to think about some things in a way that was limiting my experiences. Needless to say I paid for it, watched it in bed and after the boring fight was over, fell right asleep, perfect.

It took me making a different choice to encourage me to have a different experience.

What old ways do you have that is limiting your experiences? What could you take responsibility for? What different choice could you make that might lead to a different experience?

The people who get uncommon results do uncommon things. Break your mould and do something you wouldn’t normally and yes sometimes doing that will be difficult and challenges will arise, push through anyway and do it.

I did a presentation last week in front of a whole directorate and I was shitting myself. They couldn’t tell though but I was so sure I was making an arse of myself. It was my first time doing something of that kind and trust me when I say all sorts of challenges cropped up in the lead up to it but I expected that because that’s what happens when you want soemthing. I seriously considered dropping out at the last minute and said to myself, ‘Irene why did you say you’d do it?’. But guess what? It was well received and my colleague and I had lots of positive, reaffirming feedback.

It was also a huge learning curve and built my character and skills, yet if I had quit, I’d never have that.

Its a new week, do something different and see how it goes. Whether you win or lose, you learn from it- you still win.

Don’t Sleep on Yourself

21 Friday Jul 2017

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Dreams, Experiences, More Action, Motivation

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believe, blogger, dreams, Friday, Future Self, Monika Chaing, Motivation, Persistence, Shoe designer, Speaker, start, Timing, writer

I was looking through Instagram as you do and I came across the fabulous shoe designer Monika Chaing. After browsing through a few of her pictures, I was transported back to 2010 when I had aspirations of creating a shoe line that would represent all the different sides of me-I love shoes!

That same year I was at a club with Jon B (yes the Jon B) and he commented on how he loved my shoes and that his wife would love them too.  A tiny piece of me died inside, talk about missed opportunity. The shoes I was wearing at the time were not my own design, there were a pair of Kurt Geiger shoes, but just imagine if they were? Ugh.

Thing is I had been working on the shoe line but was yet to have a product in my hand. I thought to myself if only I had a little bit more time I could have passed on my details and the rest would have been history.

Needless to say that over time I became weary and stopped trying.

Looking through Monika Chaing’s feed reminded me of that and all the other ideas (there have been many) that I had started, made progress on and then shortly gave up on. Where would they have been now if I persisted? What could I have created within the last 10 years if I had stuck through all the obstacles that I would have faced? I don’t even want to think about it, but I do know there’s a high chance I wouldn’t be sitting behind my work desk typing this.

What I hadn’t realised at the time was that dreams do not manifest overnight. They are like babies, they have to be nurtured and attended to constantly. Did you hear me? Constantly!

Now I’m not about to be all self-deprecating after all I have blogged for 3 years and that for me is an accomplishment!

Do something now that your future self will thank you for. It could be in any area of your life, great or small. Start and persist with it and remember Rome was not built in a day.

You owe it to yourself to live out your dreams to the fullest.

Xo

Ain’t too proud to beg…

17 Wednesday Aug 2016

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Experiences, Life, More Action, Motivational & Intentional, Thoughts in motion

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Ask, Grow, Help, life, Persistence, Push, Rejection, Try, writer

I am about to be a hypocrite with what I say next, but this specific mission is a challenge for me too: It’s okay to ask for help.

Did I just lose a limb saying that? Nope, I survived.

I was raised by a very proud and strong-willed mother, so naturally I would have her traits-Go figure!

I find asking for help to be quite a task, because in some way I have been cultivated to see it as a sign of weakness. If someone offers help, I’ll be much more likely to accept it albeit with hesitation, but to ask for it? Oh boy.

I am here to declare today that asking for help will not kill you, instead you’ll have a better chance at succeeding. What’s the worst that could happen? They say no and then? You move on to the next person.

I was told once ‘No man is an island’ and this idiom is categorically true as we are all connected in one way or another.

When people say they are self-made, I laugh, because that ‘self-made’ individual was assisted by someone who believed in them, someone who saw value in them, without others to invest in us, where would we be?

Do not suffer in silence, ask for help if you need it. Do not let pride stop you from excelling.

Pause: I just asked for help and was rejected. I think the next half of this should be on rejection.

I asked a thriving business owner if I could shadow her while she worked, kind of like a one day internship. I mean what better way to become more informed than to follow someone’s work? Well I guess she thought otherwise and I was rejected for the one-millionth time in life lol. I can’t tell you how many times someone has said no to me in one capacity or other. Should I close up shop and call a day because they said no? HELL NO!

You dust yourself off, adjust your crown, and continue to knock on the doors, windows, and buildings of opportunity until there is a crack! It might not happen today but it will happen!

Nothing fuels me more than someone not believing in my abilities, if they don’t care for your life or business, there is someone out there who will!

Don’t give up, don’t give in, do keep trying, do keep learning, do keep evolving!

It’s a matter of time, its not ‘if ‘ its ‘when’. 

XO

P.s I think I used about 100 exclamations marks, I was passionate huh?

Candid moment: No bad situation is permanent.

27 Wednesday Jul 2016

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Experiences, Life, Thoughts in motion

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blogger, Hard times, Harvest, life, Money, Persistence, writer

Last night I was racking my brain on what to write for today’s blog, nothing came, I was uninspired.
Then I woke up this morning and was immediately faced with a hard decision, bingo! There was my subject matter.

The decision was of a financial nature and we all know how that goes. In fact, the past few months have been extremely trying. I have been performing magic tricks to make everything work and I’m not exaggerating! I didn’t know I was that talented. 

So this morning, whilst figuring out what my next trick would be, I repeatedly reminded myself that ‘this is temporary, I’ll be onto something better soon’. 

I’m not even going to front, there have been times where I have thought, I am so going to settle for mediocrity right now, and just give up the good fight, what is the point?! But the way my whole life is set up, that would never work. So I return to the drawing board, change my language and refocus.

When times are particularly challenging, it’s easy to think that you’ll be in this place forever, that it will never get better and there’s little to no hope, my life experiences however, have consistently shown me otherwise: there is more, there is better, and it can always happen to you. 

I believe that miracles are happening all the time and everywhere, I am living proof of that. If I told you some of things I have dealt with and overcome, you’d probably look at me funny from there on out, because I either could have been institutionalised or worse, dead. 

I want to encourage you to not let up, keep moving forward and continue to do the best you can, it will pay off! There is a season for everything, and if it’s hard for you right now (as it is me), consider this the germination stage.

Take solace in knowing that your current status is not permanent and better times are indeed, around the corner.

Write down some mantras and repeat them to yourself when you feel your energy and enthusiasm is beginning to wane. Refocus on the good things, if you have experienced good times before, you certainly will have them again, just believe. 

XO

Why Didn’t You Warn Me?!

Why Didn't You Warn Me?!

Why Didn't You Warn Me?! is a podcast speaking on the things you should know, but don't. The things you typically find out after the fact, and it's sometimes too late. Fear not, Why Didn't You Warn Me?! with Irene aka Lipstick, will give you the 411 through story-telling, conversations, and refreshing perspectives.

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