• Home
  • About
  • A Little Bit of Love
    • Manifest
    • Travel
    • Dreams
    • Relationships
    • Thoughts in motion
    • Experiences
    • Less Talk
    • Motivation
    • Love
    • More Action
    • Late night
    • Life
  • Why Didn’t You Warn Me?!

lipstickandblackcoffee

~ Be Live It

lipstickandblackcoffee

Tag Archives: power

First Impressions

27 Thursday Dec 2018

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Lessons Learnt, Life, Thoughts in motion

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

2019, belief, change, fear, First Impression, Guide, Introduction, Love, new year, Patience, power, Relationships, Tongue, words

img_7832Since being away I have been plagued with the tales that I have heard about this country as a child. Sometimes I’m uneasy because of it. I have lived here and loved it but that part, that part never went away.

I can’t seem to shake of those stories that I heard and watched on TV. It hasn’t mattered much that I have never seen proof to support those claims, yet it still invades my mind as if I have lived it. It has affected my experience here and this is simply down to how they introduced the culture to me at age 5 on my first visit.

However, I am challenging those perspectives, as I realise how stupid those beliefs are.

Imagine that?! The things I was shown and told has shaped my thoughts for 26 years! If that’s not a reason to be mindful of first impressions I don’t know what is.

And yes whilst it’s possible to change someone view, but it’s seldom easy to do so. 

The New Year is 5 days away and I’m sure some of us have a few changes we’d like to make. As you make them, please consider how you speak of a thing or person as it has the potential to have a lasting impression that may never shift. Be thoughtful about the words you speak and consider the impact it could have.

Your words are powerful, use them wisely and make the first impression count.

Xo

Don’t Miss This Moment

07 Sunday Oct 2018

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Life, Thoughts in motion

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Future, lifestyle, memories, moment, Motivate, New week, Now, past, power, Present, relax, Sunday

Don’t you just love Sunday’s? I love them because I get to really relax, and the pace always seems slower so I enjoy things even more. It makes me feel warm and fuzzy, speaking of which, how are you enjoying your Sunday?

A lot of us spend way too much time looking forward to what’s next, forgetting that this present moment, we had once wished for it.

We’re wanting more, bigger, better, and whilst it’s good to have aspirations, we run the risk of not appreciating the now.

I remember being a university student and how I couldn’t wait to graduate, as I was not enjoying the experience. Flash forward a few years, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve reflected on those moments, and wished I had done it a little differently or that I could go back and do it again.

This has taught me that I don’t want to ignore my present in favour an already lived past or a imagined future. I want to relish my now irrespective of what may be happening, because there are always things to be grateful for, always.

So as you hopefully enjoy this beautiful day and you plan your week ahead, always remember #MyNow has treasures in and it matters just as much as the next moment.

Xo

This Is the Life We Spoke Of

27 Thursday Sep 2018

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Life, More Action, Motivation, Motivational & Intentional

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

action, Body, Direction, Existence, GPS, health, Instruct, life, lifestyle, Manifest, Mind, power, Speak, The Secret, vision, words

This is the life we spoke of. Don’t believe me?

How many times have you said I’m broke?

How many times have you said I hate my job?

How many times have you said My life is shit?

How many times have you said No one loves me?

How many times have you said I’ll never make it?

How many times have you said I don’t like my body?

How many times have you said I’m not good enough?

How many times have you said I don’t believe in myself?

How many times have you said I can’t do_________?

Still think you’re not living the life you spoke of?

Think of your words as your Sat Nav; the course of your life can only go where you tell it to.

Xo

 

Plastic Surgery: Should I do it?

17 Tuesday Jul 2018

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Life, Thoughts in motion

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Ass, Big Bum, Body, Breast Augmentation, depression, Era, Fat Transfer, Insecurities, K Michelle, Kylie Jenner, Low Self Esteem, Mind, Plastic Surgery, power, Self Confidence, self love, Trend

img_6198It’s Sunday and I’m lazing around looking on social media and I see someone who I hadn’t seen in a while, something was different.
Her breasts were huge and quite tender looking, snap! She’s had work done. I noticed her friends too, all their bodies looked exactly the same.  It was clear they shared similar values in that respect.

I was a little bit saddened by it because part of what made each of them physically unique had been lost under the knife, probably in a foreign country somewhere. That isn’t shade, just the reality.

This individual used to stick up for her what others would call saggy breasts and show them like a badge of honour, seemingly not giving AF which I quite admired, so it was a shock to see that she had done it. It’s safe to say that under the heavy scrutiny she bulked.

The pressure to be and look amazing today is ever increasing, I mean who doesn’t want to be admired? I do, in fact worship me (I kid…sort of).

I get it, it’s hard to be the only one not doing something especially under the constant gaze of negative, miserable gremlins or on the flip side the constant feed of ‘perfect’ bodies. Your resolve has to be impenetrable because by simply being around it, you tap into that consciousness.

That consciousness is something that’s palpable, you feel it but can’t quite hold it. Even your favourite love to hate rapper Kanye West had lipo’ as he ‘didn’t want you to call me fat like you did Rob’. The Kanye West. I’d be lying if I said it hadn’t crossed my mind, especially whilst working out- its a bitch.

Plastic surgery used to be a secret and something only the rich and famous could afford. You didn’t come across people with augmentations often. On the rare occasions that I did, in hushed tones I’d gesticulate at my friend towards the muse in question, looking on in awe at how we are able to cut ourselves up and make something we weren’t born with bigger. My young naïveté couldn’t quite fathom it. And anyway weren’t we supposed to love what God gave us?

I have fought with this particular subject matter as whilst I firmly believe that people should do whatever makes them happy, I haven’t entirely reconciled that with the risks that plastic surgery holds physically, emotionally and mentally, but I suppose high risk, high reward?

Another part of my concern is in the pseudo-confidence it provides a lot of women and men and what will happen when once again what’s on trend changes, not to mention that the enhancements still don’t exclude you from having insecurities like everyone else. In some cases, a few people go on to develop greater insecurities because they never want to lose that feeling of being desirable to themselves and to others. Then there’s the lack of sound judgment and the carelessness at which some people make these decisions that end up having permanent unwanted effects including death. Undoing some of the negative effects can be a hard journey and K Michelle’s story is a testament to that.

It certainly has it benefits which I have personally witnessed amongst the people I know, I don’t dispute that at all. They seem…happier

A friend and I joke that we’ll be the only ones holding on for dear life not succumbing to the demand to carve ourselves out to perfection although now that I think about it, my friend does talk about shaving down her jaw, reducing her forehead and getting under eye fillers so maybe it’ll just be me, maybe.

Perhaps there’ll be a revolution with the likes of Kylie and K Michelle undoing their plastic surgery decisions and that it will encourage people to give it a bit more thought before going under.

It would be remiss of me if I didn’t acknowledge that we all have some type of enhancement whether it’s our nails, hair, teeth, gym, filters and so on. We too subscribe to wanting bigger and better, and whilst the gravity of it can be less severe, the principle is the same.

With that said, this is much more of an inside job than it is an outside one. It’s what’s taking place upstairs that impacts everything around you and what you experience. That is the real power and once we begin to master this, the lives we lead will be further enriched. And no, it’s not easy to work on you,  it’s constant effort and often times a struggle too but worth it in the long run.

If you choose to have surgery, make sure that you’re not making these changes so others can feel better about you so you can feel better about yourself, as to put it plainly, that’s backwards. Do due diligence with taking that step as your life truly depends on it.

Most importantly don’t forget the you underneath all of that. You spend the most time with that person, love them, accept them because in acceptance there is freedom.

Xo

How Does It Feel?

20 Friday Apr 2018

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Lessons Learnt, Life, Thoughts in motion

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Affect, Drug, Effect, Feelings, Friday, Heart, Lesson, life, Love, Maya Angelou, Men, Pain, power, Relationships, Responsiblity, Sex, Women

How Does It Feel?

The words of a different Angelou, Dr Maya ‘People will never forget the way you made them feel’ have never rang more true for me than now.

I understood what she meant then, but having connected those words with a recent experience I have a deeper appreciation for it.

I found myself in a little bit of a predicament where I was really struggling to let something go. I sat there and thought about it, ‘What really is the issue here? why can’t you just let go and move on?’ and then it dawned on me, it was the way they made me feel.

It had been quite a long time since I was stirred (ew don’t be a freak) and in all honesty I liked it and had difficulty detaching myself when it turned out to be a bad fit. Even with the things said and done, it wasn’t enough to easily cut loose, the feelings kept it afloat.

I’m pretty sure we’ve all endured a lot of crap from someone we shouldn’t, but because of how we felt about them or how they made us feel we quickly forgave their transgressions.

Isn’t that how a lot of relationships between people are formed, based on feelings which then become attachments? Some relationships are easy to sever and others not so much for this very reason. We’re blinded by their ability to make us feel good, alive or whatever the positive impact we feel they have and in short, it’s addictive.

It’s a powerful drug, as everything we do is about how we feel. Coincidentally, what we get back is often a response to that. And this isn’t strictly between people, it’s everything! Money, family, jobs, health, food… how we feel about these things govern how we treat them.

So the next time you’re having difficulty understanding what’s happening in your life, ask yourself,’how does it make me feel?’and you should soon discover the root and hopefully the solution to your dilemma.

Knowing this, is both a gift and a curse, use it wisely, as just as others have the power to affect you, you have the power to affect others.

Xo

One Person Can

15 Wednesday Nov 2017

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Experiences, Life, Thoughts in motion

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

challenge, change, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, Difference, Hump Day, Impact, opportunity, power, Thoughts, writer

A new opportunity has arisen for me and I subsequently began to think about the possibilities of what I’ll be able to do, change and improve upon. The excitement of it all boiled over. And then one thought stopped me in my tracks, “I’m one person, can I really make the difference I envision making?”. I immediately felt a sense of dejection.

“How can I, one small person make an impact? I am inexperienced and who’ll take me seriously anyway?…”. I fortunately wasn’t granted the liberty of continuing on that downward spiral because I was reminded of all the amazing things we get to enjoy and learn from in our society that was brought about by ONE person making the decision to be the change they wanted to see.

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie is one of the people I admire. Her books, intellect and being her unapologetic self, are a few things that both inspire and teach me…but what if? What if she decided that her voice wasn’t worth being heard? What if she decided that Purple Hibiscus is a pile of crap and dumped it in the bin? What if she never picked up a pen? I shudder.

Chimamanda

So this is for me as it is for you, don’t allow your current circumstances, inexperience or insecurities deprive you of believing that you are necessary and what you have to offer is valuable. Hold on to that little voice telling you can, because you can.

Xo

P.s How’s your challenge going?

 

Woe is me

15 Monday Aug 2016

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Dreams, Experiences, Life, More Action

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Ambition, Aspirations, Beautiful, Cultivate, dreams, focus, Goals, GPS, life, Mindset, perspective, Picture, power, Strategise, The Good Wife, Woe

Good Morning Beautiful People!

If you’re in London, please do your best to enjoy this weather because we all know how fleeting it is!

I was watching ‘The Good Wife’ and Alicia said and I paraphrase ‘we don’t have a problem, we have an opportunity’.

‘I don’t have a problem, I have an opportunity’, say it a few times. It makes you feel differently doesn’t it? It gives you back the power over your situation. You can either look at it as you’re damned, or that this is an opportunity to transform and elevate your life.

When you tune in to bullsh*t, the tendency is you’ll continue to create more of that. Woe is me soon transitions into woe becomes me.

It’s about how you set your internal GPS, if you key in negativity, well that’s the direction you’ll head in until you decide otherwise. If you don’t like the direction, then you have to stop, and reroute the internal GPS. Fixate your mind on a new belief/perspective and let it shape and guide you.

Today’s a good a day as any, to refocus, re-strategise and go full steam ahead towards the life of your dreams. It’s not impossible it’s quite the opposite, it’s VERY possible, your goals and aspirations are just as real as you are, if only you would begin to act like it.

I have to stress how important it is to keep your eye on the prize, look towards the end goal, let thoughts and feelings of achieving that ambition engulf you.

To help you stay on target, use pictures, write things down everywhere, repeat affirmations, surround yourself with like-minded people who can hold you accountable, change your environment, go to the places now that you think you can only go to when you ‘make’ it, watch things that cultivate the spirit of what you want to embody, read books, generally saturate your life with what you want and not with what you don’t want.

As I say over and over again, everything we see around us was once a mere thought but someone persisted, believed in themselves and in their goal and made it happen.

You can too!

XO

You’ve got issues!

11 Friday Mar 2016

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Life, Thoughts in motion

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

angel, Beyonce, decision, devil, issues, power, problem, secrets, solution, trust

Isn’t it amazing how we could have all the answers to everyone else’s problem but for our own we have nothing?!

We can provide a full break down about everything they need to do and even how to do it, but in our own case, its crickets and tumbleweed.

Why is that? Why do we find it difficult to come up with solutions to the problems of our own doing? And further still, should we come up with a solution, we second-guess it. Roll. My. Eyes.

Trust, we have trust issues. We’ve made the wrong move before and it now causes us to doubt everything. It’s the old ‘Angel vs Devil’ scenario and who wins in some cases? The lil’ red bugger.

Do I flip flop around my solutions? 100% I sit there and go back and forth on a decision, which simply heightens the stress I undergo.

The strength however is in sticking to your decision and going full throttle with it, void of it working out or not. It’s the quickest way to finding a resolution.

As cliché as this may sound, you’ve got the power. I don’t doubt for one second that you and I have the ability to turn around our circumstances, if only we would make a clear decision and go for it. What’s the worst that could happen? Okay sure, there are a number of things that could go wrong but on the other side of that coin are just as many things that could go right, the prospect is equal.

You’ve made it this far, even with the ‘mistakes’ you believe you’ve made, give yourself a bit more credit.

If its advice you require, be sure to seek it from those with the expertise. I am re-reading ‘The Richest Man in Babylon’ and reiterated to me the importance of getting guidance from those who have already done it. Now who has Beyoncé’s number? I need to speak to ask her a few things…lol.

Last thing, limit the amount of people you confide in when making the decision or having made the decision, too many cooks spoil the broth. You’d be surprised how many people will inadvertently place their insecurities onto you.

One of the secrets to anything lasting or being successful is silence. I’ve had an insurmountable amount of peace, keeping certain things to myself-Trust me.

 

Words, Weapons Of Mass Destruction?

11 Monday May 2015

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Lessons Learnt, Life

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

arsenal, build, decision, destroy, language, power, weapon, wise, words

Hope you had a great weekend, mine was fairly busy but good all the same!

So in continuing on with the 1 post for the next 7 days (which by default excluded the weekend 🙂 )here is todays preamble.

I had a pretty crap morning and I don’t know about you but sometimes when things don’t go accordingly, I think about EVERYTHING that isn’t right (Very bad habit). This naturally puts you in a negative space, well this was me earlier on. My mind was racing and I was inducing self inflicted stress. The mind is a powerful entity, that ironically must be minded. I knew I had to get out of this funk and quickly, today’s solution was much needed rest.

Protect what goes in and out of your mind and through your mouth. One thing I have learnt and occasionally the hard way is that the saying ‘sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never harm me’ is an absolute fallacy lol. Occasionally I have been the culprit, but more often than not the recipient. It’s not restricted to what you say to someone or what is said to you, but also what you tell/call yourself.

‘You’re too fat, you’re too skinny, you’re ugly, you’re a failure, you’ll never make it, you’re too dark, your nose is big, your sibling is better than you, no one will ever want you’ and so on. We’ve probably heard some of these words and said some whether in jest or seriously and not known of the effects they have on the individual for many years after.

I’m pretty sure we can all remember that one thing someone said to us that has shaped us today, either positively or negatively, that we have never forgotten. See how powerful words are?

I remember constantly being told “You’re so dark” in a tone that revealed their contempt, dark usually inferred unattractive . Being quiet young at the time, I didn’t fully understand it, but as I got older, the picture was clear, light was right and dark wasn’t. Fortunately, this was one thing that didn’t manage to stick, although there were many close calls. The sad part is that these people are unaware of the aftermath of their words and will never know.

Callous words are like gum under a table, it sticks, becomes hardened and turns black over time. There’s a reason gum shouldn’t be swallowed…

Of course, you cannot always know what someone may find offensive, all you can do is be conscientious of the words you utter, as they’re creating realities. 

Words influence, words build, words destroy, so use them discerningly. That’s not to say you can no longer be honest, by all means be honest , but choose your arsenal carefully.

The next time you have something to say think to yourself, stumbling block or building block? Let that inform your decision.

The Power of Language

09 Monday Mar 2015

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Thoughts in motion

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

agenda, communication, influence, language, perception, power

The Power of Language

I was having a discussion with a friend last night and it reminded me of what I had written below a couple months back. He asked me a question and I responded ‘Ok’ and for one reason or another he felt there was more and that I really wasn’t ok (which I was). It’s a bit of a random post but it reminds me how important language is in communicating.

The ambiguous ‘Ok’, a response that is both satisfactory, and wistful, inconclusive even. It leaves you wanting more, although its use is acceptable and does not necessitate that more should be said. It creates a feeling of anti-climax, yet there is nowhere else to go. This funny word ‘Ok’, and its variations. In written form, each one becomes less comforting and less personal than the last, ‘Okay, Ok, ok, k’.

“A: I have to leave now…B: Okay.”

“A: New ideas are needed for this project…B:Ok.”

“A: My mother is away at the moment but she needs someone to help out….B:ok”

“A: Everything will be fine… B: k ”

Shrouded in secrecy of the unspoken, it induces a yearning for further supplication, but to ask would seem greedy, needy, and ungrateful. Exclusivity is not singular, the receiver and speaker are both indebted to this feeling, occasionally at the same time.

‘Ok’ is not always meant in agreement but more so an indication of understanding, or a closing of matter or in many cases, gives rise to a question kept securely in the mind.

‘Ok’, akin to smoke after blowing out a candle, you know that’s the end of it, however the remnants of what used to be still linger, the smoke, swirling in the air, the smell momentarily sharp but like most things it disappears as does the feeling and all is soon forgotten.

Unanswered questions, thoughts cut short, ‘Ok’ the inception of inquisition and completion.

← Older posts

Subscribe

  • Entries (RSS)
  • Comments (RSS)

Archives

  • January 2021
  • December 2020
  • November 2020
  • October 2020
  • September 2020
  • August 2020
  • June 2020
  • May 2020
  • March 2020
  • January 2020
  • December 2019
  • November 2019
  • September 2019
  • August 2019
  • May 2019
  • April 2019
  • March 2019
  • February 2019
  • January 2019
  • December 2018
  • November 2018
  • October 2018
  • September 2018
  • August 2018
  • July 2018
  • June 2018
  • May 2018
  • April 2018
  • March 2018
  • February 2018
  • January 2018
  • December 2017
  • November 2017
  • October 2017
  • September 2017
  • August 2017
  • July 2017
  • June 2017
  • May 2017
  • April 2017
  • March 2017
  • February 2017
  • January 2017
  • December 2016
  • November 2016
  • September 2016
  • August 2016
  • July 2016
  • June 2016
  • May 2016
  • March 2016
  • February 2016
  • January 2016
  • December 2015
  • November 2015
  • October 2015
  • August 2015
  • July 2015
  • June 2015
  • May 2015
  • April 2015
  • March 2015
  • February 2015
  • November 2014
  • October 2014
  • September 2014
  • August 2014
  • July 2014
  • June 2014

Categories

  • Creative Writing
  • Dreams
  • Experiences
  • Fashion and Style
  • Late night
  • Less Talk
  • Lessons Learnt
  • Life
  • Love
  • Manifest
  • More Action
  • Motivation
  • Motivational & Intentional
  • Relationships
  • Self-Development
  • Thoughts in motion
  • Travel
  • Young and Dumb

Meta

  • Register
  • Log in

Blog at WordPress.com.

Cancel