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lipstickandblackcoffee

~ To A Life Worth Living xo

lipstickandblackcoffee

Tag Archives: Responsibility

Take Care Of It Now

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Posted by Irene Ephraim in Experiences

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choice, Driving, experience, freedom, Responsibility

Take care of it now, before it takes care of you. And I don’t mean in the good sense.

You ever have something that you put off that you know you need to do. You keep saying tomorrow, Monday, next week, in March, and before you know it, all those dates have come and gone and you haven’t done it yet. You set new dates and times, and still do not take care of it. This cycle is repeated, until one day, all hell breaks loose, and you absolutely have no other choice but to deal with it.

This was me in 2017. It was time to let go of my car, but I did not want to.
On the things that I have accomplished that I still relish till today, the ability to drive is in my top 3. I love the freedom it gives me.
I go on a date and he’s acting weird? I hop in my car and zoom off (I have done this way too many times lol)
I want to hit up 4 locations in one night? I hop in my car and zoom off.
I want to drive to Wales for 24 hours? I hop in my car and zoom off.
Need to do a massive food shop at various places? I hop in my car and zoom off.
I do not have to wait on anyone or ask for permission, and I love it!

Me, sitting the car I am getting next 🙂

Can you see how letting go of my car was a challenge.
There is a saying, those who can’t hear must feel, and boy did I feel it.
Between June and September of that year, there were 3 car accidents. Did you hear me? I said THREE?! Who with years of experience finds themselves in that position? W-H-O?! These incidents were unnatural.
I am thankful that I and no one else was hurt, but I. was. pissed!

The message was loud and clear, it was time for it to go. At that point, I didn’t even care, get thee far away from me!
I learnt a huge lesson in doing things in a timely fashion. It could have cost me so much more…

It might not even make sense what you have to do, but do it!
If there is something you have been putting on the back burner, now is the time to deal with it. Take out the paperwork, read it, call up the bank, pay for life insurance, speak to that estranged person, register your business, start your YouTube channel, whatever it is, take care of it whilst you still have a choice.

Xo

LATEST POSTS

I Made It

33 held so much for me. I felt like I couldn’t fully exhale for a few reasons.Give or take the inaccuracies of reported history, Jesus was 33 when he ascended. My late friend was also 33 when he ascended. And a small part of me had come to anticipate that this too could be my …

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by Irene Ephraim December 17, 2021

CAN YOU HEAR YOURSELF?

The constant chatter is overwhelming. One person says this, another person says that. Your mum says it’s this way, your brother says it’s the other. Then there’s the people who love to be contrarian with no actual thoughts of their own, just adept at piggybacking off what a group of people might agree upon and finding a …

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by Irene Ephraim December 13, 2021

Cloudy With A Chance Of…

One day you’re fine, life is good and the air is filled with prospects that you could almost pluck them like the squiggly lines you see when you look at a blue sky. The following day however, you’re freezing your bits off, your umbrella is inside out and the contents of your bag have just …

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by Irene Ephraim December 6, 2021

The Improbable Is Still Possible 

Improbable–not likely to be true or to happen.I saw a TikTok of a guy doing the improbable. Getting two basketballs into a hoop using a crutch, throwing a CD into a moving Wii console, releasing ping pong balls with the aim of reaching various points and so on.   It was fascinating to watch. In a different …

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by Irene Ephraim December 2, 2021December 2, 2021

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Tier Me To Pieces

28 Monday Dec 2020

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Life

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2020, 2021, Boris Johnson, Disappointment, Late night, Livelihood, Lockdown, London, new year, Pandemic, Pivot, Prime Minister, Quarantine, Responsibility, South East, Tier 4, Tier 5, Win

Talks of Tier 5? What are they doing? Who is in BJ’s camp advising him? And when will they all leave this office? 

Feels like we’re unlocking a new level in a game, but instead of gaining points, collecting treasures and getting super powers, we’re awarded an increase in frustration, confusion and sadness.
I’m convinced Boris hates his constituents. 
Everything, is too little, too late.

I understand that this is brand new for all of us, including the government. The difference however, is that they have access to experts in every field to guide them on how to best manage the pandemic and people, along with their expectations, well-being, and livelihoods.
Also, we’re all privy to seeing how other countries have dealt with efficacy. For goodness sake, take notes!

Clear messaging creates clear expectation, which avoids disappointment.

We all hate what this pandemic has done, but it’s the management of it all that’s one of most challenging things about it. 

The messaging has been unclear, impractical, and simply cannot be trusted. 
The ping ponging of our physical, emotional and mental well-being is what is taking a huge toll on everyone. Its our lives in the balance— double entendre intended.

I watched this video a little while back (see below) and this principle, is one way to effectively manage things in difficult and unprecedented times.

If anyone knows the PM, please direct him to this post.
Thanks, management.

That’s my little rant over. Back to us.

For us as individuals, we have a responsibility to ourselves. We cannot afford to rely on the elected to make decisions that support us.
So in this transformational period, pivot.
This has been my saving grace. When plans do not work out, I work with what’s working, I look at the alternatives, I face what’s immediately in front of me not months ahead, I control what I can control, and leave the rest.
Standing in one spot and allowing life to happen to us in every aspect is only going to pull us further and further away from our nirvana.

Shift your focus and pool your energy into a penetrable cause. Think of yourself as an athlete, say a tennis or basketball player or even a footballer. Consider how they constantly look for the opportunity to win. That’s what we can do too, win.
N.B Everyone’s winning is different.

…And I have every faith that as resilient and buoyant people, we will recover, like always.

Xo

LATEST POSTS

A Long Way From Home

Sometimes, it is necessary to look back. I randomly came across email exchanges from 14 years ago. What I saw shocked, embarrassed and made me laugh until tears fell. My verbal communication was abysmal. How did anyone ever engage in written conversation with me? and furthermore why? Were they nuts?! I didn’t go looking for …

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by Irene Ephraim November 26, 2021November 26, 2021

Treat It Like An Exam

Treat it like an exam. This came to me at 7:46am this morning.  I was pondering on the how’s of a particular thing. I quickly snapped out of it like a Raven Baxter premonition because the ‘how’ is none of my business. The ‘do’ is where it’s at. And by do, that means doing it …

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by Irene Ephraim November 23, 2021

Accelerate Your Life

The New Year is fast approaching, and it’s the time many people begin to reflect and go over the year. It’s at this point that people panic and have great anxiety over what they did or didn’t do and resolve to do better…in the new year.Why wait, when you can get a headstart now. One …

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by Irene Ephraim November 21, 2021November 23, 2021

Little Pockets Of Joy

Joy is usually reserved for the ‘big’ moments. Moments like a new car, house, engagement, pregnancy, job and the like. It’s also solely thought of as something that is given to you, rather than something you can cultivate for yourself. This is where Little Pockets of Joy comes in. I believe in en•joy•ment of the …

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by Irene Ephraim November 16, 2021

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Bounce Back

09 Tuesday Oct 2018

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Experiences, Lessons Learnt, Life

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action, Bounce, Gain, growth, Hurt, Loss, Love, Pain, Recover, Responsibility

img_4627

If you have ever loved someone or something, there’s a high chance that you’ll experience a deep pain at some point. And when it happens, boy does it suck.
Pain is one of the things you cannot avoid and yet is one of life’s best teachers.

How do you bounce back from a painful experience?

We have been conditioned to do the things that are the exact opposite of what we need. Things like oversharing and reliving the experience over and over again as if it’s still happening.

Think about it, if someone pinched you on Monday and you i) spoke about it with various people ii) spoke about it every day for the next two weeks, what do you suppose the situation would feel like for you by the end of those two weeks? I can bet good money you’ll be worse off than when it initially happened.

This is because you would have used much of your energy to not only expand a situation by repeatedly talking/thinking about it, but simultaneously you would have made it even harder for you to move past it.

Nowadays when things happen to me, I am particular about who I go to for counsel and I do my best to not talk/think about it much as I have seen the results of me doing the opposite. I still on occasion get it wrong.

I’ll give you an example. I had previously discussed my career woes with a multitude of people from various backgrounds, hoping to get sound advice and clarity. They all, wanting to be helpful, gave me advice from their perspective and guess what? It didn’t help. It only made me feel even more clueless and helpless than before. I got to the point where I’d get irritated by people constantly asking me what’s going on, that I started to shut the same people out (cheeky I know), but I had to, for my own sanity.

I had to take responsibility for what I had created by the actions I had taken. Too many cooks…

So rather than do the above, here are a few learned tips:

  • Remember that whatever happened is not happening. It’s in the past. Deal with the feelings at hand separate from anything. Write it out of you if need be (this is the best way for me). Don’t try to rush past it, let it take its natural course, but do encourage/help yourself to move forward.
  • Be picky with who you tell your gripes to. Don’t go to someone who will be your hype woman or man. Speak to someone who will give you sound counsel.
  • Limit the amount of people you talk to about it as well as the amount of times you talk about it
  • Trust yourself to know what to do.
  • And I say this with love, get over yourself. As someone who has a really hard time getting over mistakes and pains, having this be a driving force for moving forward is a great help.

I have in various instances used the above method to aid in quicker recovery for disappointment and pain, it works. It might sound simple, but give it a go, what do you have to lose?

Xo

Why Didn’t You Warn Me?!

Why Didn't You Warn Me?!

Why Didn't You Warn Me?! is a podcast speaking on the things you should know, but don't. The things you typically find out after the fact, and it's sometimes too late. Fear not, Why Didn't You Warn Me?! with Irene aka Lipstick, will give you the 411 through story-telling, conversations, and refreshing perspectives.

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