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~ Be Live It

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Tag Archives: self

Can You Focus On…Me?

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Posted by I.Ephraim in Motivation, Thoughts in motion

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blogger, change, choice, Desire, focus, give up, Goals, Manifest, Motivation, new year, Not Giving Up, Refreshed, self, Speaker, vision, Work, writer

img_8202It’s the 17th January (already?!) and dare I ask, how is it going?

For some of the people I know it’s been, a bit, bluregh. And a bit bluregh is never a good way to feel. Maybe it’s the January blues or in London the gloomy weather? Whatever it is, as with most things, it’ll soon pass.

On my side it’s been quite slow, which I welcome because I know it’s not going to be like this for much longer.

As tradition dictates, with a new year comes new or refreshed goals. I have some that this time around I’m choosing to keep to myself however, I do have one that above all of them is absolutely necessary in order to meet my goals and that is to focus.

I used to hear as a child that ‘Irene is great and has potential but she lacks focus’, and now as an adult I understand more what they meant by that. I struggle to give a thing my undivided attention, so I’m gifting myself myself and working on improving my focus, little by little.

What are you working on?

My advice for any goals or desires you have is to take each day as it comes. Let things happen organically. I spent a considerable amount of time in the past forcing things to happen and the outcome always left me wanting.

To summarise, work with what works.

Xo

P.s Things will start look up, I promise 🙂

Why I’m No Longer Sharing

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Posted by I.Ephraim in Experiences, Life, relationships

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belief, Example, friendships, Heart, lifestyle, love, Men, Mindset, Model, relationships, self, Women, writer

img_0985From this day forward I am no sharing with friends.

Whenever I find out something new, useful or potentially life changing, I am quick to share it with the people close to me. I want them to do good too, I want them to know what’s possible, I want them to believe in themselves more. I share so they can know what’s happening in the hopes that they’ll concede but alas they do not.

Of course, I don’t know everything, however, I do know a thing or two about certain subject matters and with that I always want to give.

But after a few failed attempts at ‘helping’, I have decided to stop. I am no longer sharing and instead have opted to just show them.

As the saying goes the proof is the pudding and sometimes there is nothing more effective than others being able to see the results for themselves.

So if you, like me, have found yourself in the position where your words are falling by the wayside, stop talking, just do it and do it well.

Xo

It’s Not You, It’s Me.

23 Tuesday Jan 2018

Posted by I.Ephraim in Lessons Learnt, Life, relationships

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challenge, change, Feelings, growth, Identity, Internal, Lessons, lifestyle, love, Mind, Mindset, Negative, Perfect, Positive, problem, relationship, self, self love, Self-care, Thoughts, writer

Whenever we take up issue with something or someone else, it is usually an indication of a greater issue that we have going on internally. For example, if you’re jealous of someone else’s looks or life, what that might be saying is that you have low self-esteem and do not see yourself as valuable. There may already be a feeling of inadequacy in existence, which seeing another person further aggravates.  

I recently had a situation where I felt like someone wasn’t as attentive as I would have liked. I worked myself up for days going over the details, but I knew that the issue didn’t really lie with them, it was me. I didn’t feel good enough, I didn’t have great confidence in myself, I didn’t believe I was worthy. During that period I acknowledged that I had some work to do on myself. And no it’s not easy nor does it happen overnight.

You see the problem isn’t always about the other person and what they did, in many instances it’s about us and how we truly feel about ourselves. This is part of the reason why it’s so important to focus on ourselves, because when we shift it onto something or someone else to avoid dealing with the problem, we do ourselves and the people around us a disservice. It’s a disservice because we’re not able to tap into the crux of what is happening, which ultimately shapes our world and the experiences we have. We cannot live at or give our best if we do this. If we don’t address it internally, we can never change it externally. 

So the next time someone’s actions or presence evokes a negative reaction or feeling in you, think about what it is really saying about you, is there something for you to work on? And if so don’t be afraid of it. Broach it with care and take your time, but whatever you do, do not ignore it. 

 Xo

It’s everybody else’s fault!(Part 1)

02 Wednesday Jul 2014

Posted by I.Ephraim in Lessons Learnt, Life

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Alan Sugar, choice, decision, everyone, improve, life, power, self

It is everybody else’s fault!

Ha! What a statement! Ever been around someone where all these awful things happen to them and you’re wondering what are they doing with their lives to attract such crappy circumstances then after a while it dawns on you…the reason why this happens, is because of them.

Most times when a person tells their account of events, they tend to omit the part they played or mitigate their actions and therein lies part of the problem. For example, you have a person that is always late but somehow it’s never their fault, ample preparation and time management discipline will fix that.

The blame culture we live in, points the finger at everybody and everything else but them. This encouraged behaviour is self crippling and depreciating. I used to be that person above, the craziest things would “just happen to me” and I would lament and regurgitate the story to anyone who wanted to listen until I reached a point.

After being plagued with several less than conducive situations, I decided something had to give. I made the choice to figure out a way to live differently and there began my turning point. It was during this period, that I realised I had the ability to control to a large degree the experiences I was having in life, by making better choices.

Choice is a very powerful thing and when used in a deliberate way, the standard of life you live can be greatly improved upon. There is a strong sense of ownership and accountability when you acknowledge that YOU can affect this situation saying to yourself “What can I do to change this around?” as opposed to “it’s because of this, that or she did it”. Notice how in the last statement it has nothing to do with you, so in your mind there is NO thing you can do about it and you’ll end up just sitting there “lamenting and regurgitating” the chain of events rather than doing something to change the event.  When you accrue whatever has happened to completely being someone or something else’s fault or responsibility, you in that moment relinquish yourself of any power and right to do something about it.

Ill provide a brief example; let’s look at The Lord Sugar or more commonly known as Alan Sugar, who was from a poor background. In his time you were simply expected to follow in your parent’s footsteps and you were almost resigned to that legacy no matter what it was. However, he chose a different path and created his own rules, which yielded a wealth of knowledge, experience and profit. Assuming he accepted what was immediately before him and blamed his parents for not being able to greatly improve their circumstances, or that in the environment he was raised in, you were confined to doing what everybody else did, and to remain poverty stricken, then we would not know of Alan Sugar as he is.

Another popular situation is this, someone has proven to be detrimental to your life in every sense of the word yet you continue to give them the grace and benefit of someone that is purposeful to you. By now, it has been established that this person does not have the capacity to be a good addition to your life and affairs, why would YOU then continue to repeat this pattern? This, you must realise is entirely your choice, your action and subsequently, your consequences. This is no longer their responsibility, it is now yours as you only have control over what you do and how you respond.

How you think about yourself, who you permit in your presence, your happiness, your financial disposition, the type of people you attract, the circumstances you find yourself in, is ultimately your decision.  Many people complain about being unhappy in a job, relationship, or dysfunctional family situations and spend a lifetime talking about it but doing absolutely nothing about it. They fail to realise that in some cases the outcome is in direct relation to the choice they made. The job you don’t like, guess what you accepted it, the relationship you are unhappy in- you committed to it, the family dysfunction-you contributed to it- get my drift?

In order to change something, you must first introspect and examine where your focus is and what actions you take on a regular basis to cause such reactions. If you disapprove of them, don’t blame xyz, but instead do something about it and change it!

It is imperative that if you want to enhance your life you also need to be conscious of what you feed yourself on a daily basis and by that I mean what you chose to watch, listen to or surround yourself with. As the saying goes show me your friends and Ill tell who you are which in a lot of cases rings true as you tend to attract what you are.

When you hear, speak or repeat something enough, you with time become that very same thing. If you are constantly telling yourself unconstructive things then without fail you will find yourself in situations that are not productive. For example, “I’m broke, I never have any money, I can’t do this, I hate Mondays, men are stupid, women are deceptive, my parents didn’t do anything for me…” and so on. Repeating such statements, contributes to the kind of experiences you have. Anything with a negative or positive connotation has the ability to shape your life.

I believe there isn’t anything that is unattainable just look around you, everything you see was once a thought in a person’s mind, so whatever it is you want to do, use your choice to make a decision and act on it. Refrain from making excuses because news flash it’s hard for everyone.

If you are not yet competent at making better decisions-practice! Might sound odd to say practice but it makes sense. If you are a football player, a film maker, or a motivational speaker, regardless of whether or not you are gifted in these areas, you must practice in order to get better; the same applies to your life! Practice making better choices, quicker impactful decisions, the qualities you want to have, whatever it is that you aim to achieve, practice. Not everything is an innate ability and will have to be a learned behaviour.

Remember that the process might be slow and steady which is perfectly fine, as long as you commit to it, you will get there.

So in closing this first part, they say you are what you eat like I say you are what you repeat!

Signed LBC

PS it’s not every day follow, sometimes take the lead…

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