Tag Archives: Speaker

Don’t Take It For Granted!

Featured

Posted by in Life, More Action, Motivation

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , , ,

Happy Friday! Work is officially over 🙂

Every so often I consider what someone else who is deemed less privileged would do with the many things I have been blessed with.

I think if they had been given the opportunities like I have, what magic would they create? Their tenacity alone is something to be admired, yet here I am, sometimes dragging my feet as if I have very little going for me.

Very quickly we become complacent with life and stop trying because we think we need more of something else to help us get to the next stage in our lives, forgetting that the things we have, we once hoped, wished and worked hard for.

Every tool, skill and opportunity we need to thrive and progress forward is already within our possession. The question is what are you prepared to do with it?

Maybe your problem is that you don’t recognise the gifts and abilities that you have, and if that’s the case, then some time to list those things is needed. You may have to rope in your close ones, to highlight to you what they are. It helps to draw out those things from our minds and have it in plain sight so we can better assess our situations.

If you’re fortunate to read this post, it means there are things at your disposal that you can utilise, so before its too late, use your talents, to create a life worthwhile, after all, it’s the only one you have.

XO

A Dry Spell

Featured

Posted by in Experiences, Less Talk, Life, More Action, Thoughts in motion

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

img_0222

I bought these flowers last week and a day or two after getting them, I started to think ‘erm, are they broken?’ (I’m impatient remember and currently in rehab).

None of them were opening up, but I left them anyway. Slowly, one by one they began to bloom.

It reminded me that there is a process to everything and how crucial it is to be patient, lest (I feel so fancy using ‘lest’) you miss your time to shine.

Do not prematurely abandon your ship, in hopes of ‘making’ it on someone else’s or resorting to ‘it just isn’t for me’ quips. Without you, it will not reach its destination and neither will you. If you believe in it, deep down in your marrow, then continue to nurture it, no matter what anyone has to say.

Give it time, let your intuition guide you, and exercise patience- a lot of it.

Xo

P.s Patience is quiet, steady perseverance; even-tempered care; diligence.

 

Pain now, Gain later

Featured

Posted by in Experiences, Life, More Action, Thoughts in motion

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

What’s stopping you? Is it fear? Is it the work? Is it the lack of discipline?

For me, it is the pain of doing the work. The difficulty or should I say, the idea I have built in my mind of how difficult something is or how long it will take, is one of my stumbling blocks. I’m sure you have gathered by now that patience is not one of my strong suits. The irony is once I’ve done it, I say to myself, ‘Is that it? What was the big deal?!’.

You have to think of it this way, do the work now so that you can enjoy later. I love studying people (my favourite pastime) and when I looked at a lot of successful people, many of them were still reaping from what they sowed years and years and years ago. They are harvesting from the work, graft, grind, that they also found difficult to do at the time. Wouldn’t it be great to have something that continues to bear fruit in your life, years after it’s been done?

Let’s take a singer-songwriter for example. They wrote and performed a song, 10 years ago. When that song gets used in an advert, they get paid and recognition from it. When it’s used in a film, they get paid and recognition from it. Someone does a cover, they get paid and recognition from it.  This is all from one song that they created, in a room, spent hours recording, fine tuning, staying up late, perfecting the performance of it, creating a video for it, doing interviews to promote it,  and all the other host of things that come with being an artist. These are some of the pains, which later became profitable.

It could be anything in your life, getting a new job, reenergizing a relationship, clearing your debts, making an investment, learning a new trade, weight loss, producing content for YouTube, writing a book, a social enterprise, raising a family, anything worth having does not comes easy or overnight. Without doing the work, none of these things will materialize. It’s the natural order of life, sow first, reap second.

Like my mentor says ‘Do what others won’t, to get what others don’t’.

Xo

P.s I am doing the work too, albeit begrudgingly grrr.

As A Wo/Man Thinketh- Part 2

Featured

Posted by in Life, Thoughts in motion

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , , , , ,

I have written on this topic before but it’s well overdue a revisit. You can check my first post here.

I take the word thinketh to interchangeably mean belief also.

I started rereading ‘As A Man Thinketh’ by James Allen, and I promise you as I was going over the words, it was as if I had unlocked a new level in a game. The gates of heaven opened in my mind and I got it, intrinsically, I got it.

Many people do not understand the gravity of this ability, and how deeply it governs your entire existence, did you hear me? Your entire existence!

You cannot have two masters, its impossible to serve them both, one will suffer significantly over the other. Ill repeat that, you cannot have two masters, it’s impossible to serve them both, one will suffer significantly over the other.

You ever have your mum and dad give you conflicting information?

Mum: Sure, you have those cookies

Dad: Don’t you touch those cookies

You’re standing there looking from face to face conflicted, like “what do I do?” You have to do one of them isn’t it? And whichever one you do, bears fruits of its own. If you take the cookie, you’ll enjoy it and your mother will be satisfied, yet the very opposite if you don’t, the same is for your thoughts and beliefs.

You cannot think one thing, believe something else and then expect them both to work. Only one can take precedent. It is very possible for you to do lip service, ill give you an example. I have been writing a book for a while now and I have a few thoughts and beliefs on the success of it and they are as follows:

  1. It will positively impact hundreds and thousands of people and the readers will find the information incredibly valuable.
  2. I have never written a book before, it is the most difficult thing I have ever attempted to do.
  3. Who would want to read my book? When I don’t have a huge following, it is difficult to increase readership on my blog as it is, my friends and family do not support me, no one supports me (not true), if i can’t get people to be interested now, how and why would they be interested later?

Guess which ones have been triumphing in my life? Go on take a wild guess.Over the past couple years, point 2 & 3 have been the more prominent thoughts, even though I still believe in my service and product. Effectively what it means is it will take me much longer to get ‘there’,than if point 1 was the ruling belief.

If I strongly believed in the capabilities of my product and value in my words over the thoughts that it is difficult and no one would care, the book would have been published. People would have the opportunity right now as I write, to purchase it or read it, but as that has not been the case, no book. See how much it can affect your life? or in this case my life? I am definitely working on this one figuratively and literally!

Challenge your belief system.

Really search yourself and assess whether what you say and think is in line with what you actually believe or even want to believe. Typically what you say is what you think, and if it’s what you think then it is generally in line with what you believe.

What you believe, you will receive.

If after your introspection you realise that hold on? What I believe and what I thought I believed are not in alignment, change it! You can start by counteracting that contradictory thought with a new one that you deeply want to believe, by reinforcing it with images, words,by being around people who are the personification of that belief. You have to reconfigure your audio and visual settings with a new and more revitalized one.

I make it my business to feed my mind, eyes and my ears with the things that compliment and agree with my belief, if it is not in alignment I automatically switch off, nope not interested. I especially do this when I start to feel doubtful.

Your investments go into what you believe, if you think you will not be successful, guess what? You will not do things to be successful; you’ll do quite the opposite. If you think you’ll always be broke, you will not work on ways to improve that, it wouldn’t matter if you received a million pounds, if your belief system doesn’t change, trust me, you’ll soon be broke, again. If you think your voice doesn’t matter, you will not speak up. If you think you’re talentless, you will not work on the talent that you do have. If you think lowly of yourself, you will not have any respect from the people you interact with. If you think you do not deserve happiness, you will not take the measures to experience it. If you think that job is out of your league, you will not apply for it because you don’t believe you have a chance, you get my drift…

So the next time you think of doing something, remember that how you think is how you act and how you act is what you attract.

Its time for some reevaluation.

XO

Ps There is no ps

Time is of the essence ‘cuz tomorrow is not promised

Featured

Posted by in Experiences, Life, More Action

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , , , , , , , , , ,

I need another weekend to recuperate from the weekend that I have just had. I went from not having much to do, to 2 weddings and one of them ending in me returning home at 4 o’clock in the morning. 

In making the effort to be present, I have felt a greater sense of gratitude.

It’s hard not to be grateful when you still have your mother who is alive and well, when you have a roof over your head and your own personal space, when you have friends that love you and want to be in your company, when you have full control of your body, when you can celebrate with people who have found love, young and old as they walk down the aisle, when your talented sister does your hair wonderfully at no extra cost, when your brother gallantly welcomes you and always has a smile on his face, when you suddenly get dragged into a ring full of people to dance and you begin to do so awkwardly with your friends all the while laughing your head off, when you see your friend who has not been her usual vibrant self, come to life and shake all of what her mama gave her, when you recall the family and friends who have supported you financially without a second thought, when you’re able to spectate on the sunset as you drive home with your family… these are only a few of the things that I feel blessed to have witnessed and embrace. 

Sadly, some people have walked out of their house this morning with every expectation that they will return home, they will not. Some do make it home, but not in the same way, their lives will be changed forever. How haughty of us to believe that everything will be same and that things cannot take an unprecedented turn for the worse? For this reason, it is vital that we appreciate what is before us, from the little things to the big things, in the good and also in the not so good. 

Pause:

In the midst of writing this, I began to feel frustrated, sad and irritable due to external factors and I could not feel or focus on what I was writing. I took a break and looked for something that inspired me, a virtual mentor. As I went through their communication and interaction with the world, I started to feel a calmness move over me and I was reminded of my purpose and that things will be just fine.

It is important to be aware of what is happening with you and to have proactive measures to restore your mind and also your body. I thought I’d share that with you, because, well, I’m human 🙂 . 

Play:

I looked on social media and was faced with an array of horrific news of losses that had occurred over the past couple of days, I was deeply sadden and I sympathise with those suffering. 

What I wish to convey here, is a sense of urgency, to relish every good thing and moment while it is with you. Sorrying and I wish’ing later on, changes nothing.

Here, now, the good, the bad, the small, the big, find a way to see the positive and the upside to what is happening because need I say it, tomorrow is not promised.

Put on the biggest pair of rose coloured glasses if you must and let it affect what you do, how you do it, and the people around you.

Take nothing for granted.

 XO

 

Mindfulness: Live in the now. 

Featured

Posted by in Experiences, Life, Thoughts in motion

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , , , , , , , , , ,

We have nurtured this habit of thinking about the next thing on the to do list, the next venue, the next job, the next bill, your partner, your house, the kids, job, your parents, world issues and the list is endless. If its not that, then you might be thinking of the past, the shoulda, woulda, coulda’s. What you would change, what you should have done, and how it could have been better.
With that said how well do you relish the present moment? Probably very little or hardly at all.

We’re often absent minded while doing things and not fully engaged. As a result, we tend to miss the little nuggets of richness, joy, and gratitude that we could be experiencing at that present time.

We think of ‘living life’ as this place out of the country, on a beach, with clear blue seas, white sand, and great weather and we clamour for that moment to have that release, that yes we have (albeit momentarily), arrived.

This ideology is a damning one, because assuming that is what we do, what happens to the reality that we inevitably return back to?

Why not consider making your everyday life a more enriching and pleasurable one by choosing to see the goodness in the things you are experiencing, be it good, bad or indifferent?

In other cases, people talk about when they get ‘there’ it will all be different, but how will it be different? It’ll be exactly the same if your mindset does not change on how you perceive things. If you cannot learn to be happy, grateful and feel rich with the small things, it’s unlikely you’ll feel that way with the big things.

It doesn’t matter what changes externally, if you do not shift your perspective and operate at a new level, that is not dependant on external factors, you will undoubtedly find yourself going around in circles looking for that peace of mind and happiness.

So rather than wait for that ‘time’ or that ‘place’, make a conscious effort to relish the very moment you’re having now. Take a deep breath, look at beautiful things, be attentive to your friends and family as they speak, think about what you’re doing, enjoy each bite of the meal that you were able to buy, be gratuitous to others, yourself and the things you have. Take stock of the great things happening around you, small and big and endeavour to completely connect and engage with it.

Be mindful, be grateful and definitely be present.

Ps I’d love to hear from you guys, you can contact me at info@lipstickandblackcoffee.co.uk , speak soon xo

Tips for a better mood

29 Wednesday Jun 2016

Posted by in Experiences, Life, Thoughts in motion

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , , , , , , , , , ,

Yesterday oh yesterday, what a pile of cow dung! In other words it was a crap day. Things were not going in my favour at all. It was one thing after the other and I eventually succumbed to the negativity that surrounded me. As you can imagine from that point onwards my judgement was skewed and everything was bigger and worse than it need be.

I had to check myself and attempt to regulate my attitude.

I find the following things helpful when having a bad day:

  • Music always puts me in a better mood. I must mention that when feeling down, refrain from listening to particularly melancholy songs as that will only heighten your bad mood. Music works because the vibration is higher and quicker, where talking at a steady pace may assist of a longer period of time, the singing, melodies and beat of song is much more intense that you are forced to match its vibration almost instantly. It will be difficult to resist the reverberation and you’ll very soon find yourself in a better mood. Try it, speak to anyone with low energy and see how they respond to you and do the opposite, notice the difference.
  • Exercise, again very similar reasoning as above. In addition to this, you burn calories, and get rid of toxic waste, and the negative energy you hold, you’ll expend.
  • Change of environment. Take a different route home, visit a place you’ve always wanted to, go to the museum, watch a play, attend an event (Eventbrite is a great website to look at), try a different type of food, do an activity that is out of the norm, it will shake things up and give you a new perspective and refresh your mind. Make a habit of introducing yourself to something new.
  • Lastly and most importantly, have an ‘Attitude of Gratitude’. I spent some of yesterday thinking about all the million and one things that I pay for and how I really wasn’t enjoying this period of my life. I walked up to my car and thought, thank God, the insurance and upkeep of the car I pay allows me to get around with ease and style, I value my independence greatly. I was walking around with a fairly expensive camera that someone had gifted to me last Christmas, I get to capture great moments and cherish them forever. My contract phone means I can communicate with my friends and family conveniently throughout the day, month, and year and the list goes on. Focusing and being thankful for the good things, aids in cultivating a more positive mind set. This is part of conditioning, the more you do it, the better you become at being optimistic and effectively productive. This also helps in building your bounce back muscles.

I hope the above gives you some things to think about doing and maybe you can come up with a list of your own.

Please do feel free to share.

XO

 

 

Nirvana on the other side

20 Monday Jun 2016

Posted by in Life, Thoughts in motion

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Before we go any further, can you please not give me the side eye, I know I said for the next few Monday’s I’ll write on someone who inspires me, however, occasionally, you must allow yourself to be led by what is on your heart(- does this sound like a cop out? It’s not, I promise 🙂 )

I’m going to be a little bit hypocritical here, but there are times that it is absolutely necessary to have that break down in order to experience a break through. I mentioned that I’m being hypocritical because I dislike the aforementioned process, although it is extremely constructive.

I am learning to accept for myself that it is okay to cry, the release is good for you. Think of it this way, crying gets rid of the bad energy and feelings that you have supressed and kept inside for a period of time. The pent up emotions starts to negatively affect the body and the brain, limiting your ability to function well. Your decision making skills and your attitude to life will undoubtedly be impaired due to the internalised stressors and pressures you have harboured.

In any building, should there be an emergency, it is mandatory to know where the exit routes are, the same is required for the body. If I eat unhealthily, the result may be excess weight, in this case it may be headaches, body pains, rash, or a complete and utter melt down.

Having a break down is a clear sign that there are things that require your attention which you have, in some cases, systematically ignored. I say systematically because we often times know instinctively when something should be done but instead we ignore the signs and carry on anyway, in the hopes that it will disappear or work itself out. Not so.

We must take care of ourselves as best as we can and it’s perfectly okay to ask for help and admit that you’re not doing so great. Who hasn’t had low points in their life? If someone says they haven’t, then you have confirmation that they’re a bona fide liar. These challenging seasons as cliché as it will sound, make the highs more enjoyable and in all honesty in the trenches is where the most evolution happens. It will strengthen you and make you a better person.

If you’re at that point or close to it, don’t be afraid to let it all out, trust that it will get better from there on out. Don’t be afraid to admit to yourself that you’re not coping well, it doesn’t make you less of a person. The process may be painful, exhausting and you might feel like giving up, I urge you not too.

This may mean spending time alone, introspecting and examining all areas of your life, especially the parts that you are not happy with, the outcome will certainly be daunting yet worth it.

I implore also not find other means to distract you from doing the work, do not placate it with alcohol, binge TV watching, painting the town red or whatever other vice there is. Doing this will not rid yourself of the issue, in fact it will only aggravate it further.  The sooner you get to it and do the work, the sooner you discover your nirvana at the other side.

You are powerful enough to make a difference in your in life.

XO

 

Complaining gets you results!

06 Monday Jun 2016

Posted by in Dreams, Life, Thoughts in motion

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , , , , , , , , , ,

I have a confession to make. For the past three weeks I have been a champion complainer. Almost every single morning, I have bitched and moaned about this ‘thing’. What is the ‘thing’? Working, but more specifically the commute to work.

After not having a job for 5 months by choice, going back to work (also by choice, well more so necessity) has tested my entire existence. There were days where I woke up and thought, this is the day, this is the day, I am going to run into oncoming traffic and end it all.

Okay okay, that was a bit dramatic, but it would be dishonest to pretend that everything is all rosy when you bliming well know it’s not.

My first thought was I am being punished, this HAS to be the reason why all these ill-fated scenarios keep occurring. Alright, maybe punish is the wrong word, teaching me lesson.

The lesson being, do what you’re supposed to do, when you’re supposed to do it, otherwise you’d end up doing what you don’t want to do-like me ggrrrr.

In a weird turn of events, it’s placed the fire back up my butt to get out there and do more to get to where I want to be, a catalyst even.

I write this to stress that as much as your life may not reflect what you want, it is up to YOU to transform things around. I can whinge until I am purple in the face, if I don’t adjust what I do, then that is where I will remain. I guess that is what pains me the most, because I know wherever I am in life, was and is to a large degree, my doing.

It boils down to this, if you don’t like something, change it, if you want something, go for it, if you believe in something, act like it.

I’ll never forget when I had written a long message to my virtual mentor about doing something I had been afraid to do and all she wrote back was just do it. I remember being incredibly irritated by the response yet it was fact. You just have to do it, change it, remove it, test it, try it, it’s all in the action baby! (Said in a strong NY accent, a British one would just sound weird).

XO