Tag Archives: success

So What You Fell Off?!

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You’ve been working SO hard to change something, keep something up or develop a habit and although it’s a struggle you are making progress. Suddenly, out of nowhere, you fall off. You get knocked off course and for a period of time, you consider throwing the towel in altogether.

It’s too hard, it’s not for me, it’s not worth it, I can’t deal with the shame, the guilt, the disappointment…here’s my thought: get over yourself.

We’re never going to be perfect, we’re not supposed to be, we shouldn’t even aspire to be. What we should focus on, is getting better.

So what you fell down and busted your lip? All it means is you now know what not to do. Have a moment to be in your feelings, then dust yourself off and get going again.

Your success isn’t only in achieving that goal, but in how many times you get knocked down and pick yourself up again. What you teach yourself in those times is invaluable. Resilience, tenacity, determination are things you can only develop through repeated action.

Do yourself a favour and cut yourself some slack, at least you’re doing something to change things for the better! Yes, it will not always be plain-sailing, yes, there will be many bumps in the road, yes, all hell will break loose and yet every ounce of that is necessary for your growth. Use it to your advantage, learn from it and let it propel you further.

And whenever in doubt remember this lyric by Big Sean ‘Last night I took an L but tonight I bounce back!’.

XO

P.s ‘L’ stands for loss

Trapped

22 Saturday Apr 2017

Posted by in Life, More Action, Motivation, Thoughts in motion

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You’ve been trying a ting* for a while now but it’s not quite working.

One possible reason is this: You’re living in your head!

What do I mean by that? There are certain things you say to yourself on a daily basis that contradict what you deeply want for your life. You hold incapacitating beliefs that limit your ability to make your dreams a reality.

You’ve held onto these things for so long that whatever you attempt to do is really futility at its best. You’re living small, acting small, doing enough to look like you’re doing something, all the while, side stepping doing the VERY thing that will make a massive difference to your life. Your fears and insecurities make you a spectator to the life you really want to lead, in other words, it’s bitch.

Take me for example; I believe that what I do IS valuable to someone, yet my other thought is, who the hell will listen to me? Who would even care about what I have to say? No one cares!

Unsurprisingly, there are going to be behaviours that follow these thoughts, like not speaking up, not promoting your work, being critical of yourself and so on.

But enough is enough! As my mother would say, ‘Time waits for no man’.

If you want a different experience, you have to think and do things in a way you have never done before. Say f*ck it and just do it. Not half-heartedly, not cowering, do it with your chest! There’s no other way to get around it or over it. No matter how silly or unqualified you might feel, do it anyway. It’s the only way you’re going to get closer to living the way you truly want.

It could be buying a home, speaking to that family member, setting up a business, starting YouTube, getting an agent, returning to university, sky diving, travelling to another country alone, ending that dead relationship, clearing your debt, changing careers, whatever it is, know that you can do it.

Free yourself from the things someone once told you about yourself, the things you have told yourself, the belief systems that have crippled you and begin a new, more edifying conversation, starting with believing in your-bl**dclart-self!

You can, you will, you have.

Xo

P.s Ting is a Caribbean/London slang for ‘a thing’…that was obvious right? Anyway bye.

Career hopping: The Ineffective Route to Success

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Posted by in Dreams, Experiences, Less Talk, Life, More Action

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Without a vision, people perish.

I am about to be really judgy (in my world, all made up words are real, mmkay!), and I can do so because I was once (sometimes still) one of the regular culprits for this kind of behaviour: Indecisive.

If there was a list of offenders, I’d be the top 5:

  1. Irene
  2. Irene
  3. Irene
  4. Irene
  5. Irene

You get the point…I am talking to myself as much as I am you.

I truly love when people want to do well in life, I want everyone to win, even people I consider dusty lol, however, it frustrates me to no end when people change their ideas, businesses and goals on a regular basis. Like I’m going to need you to stick to one thing for AT LEAST a year or *summink!

I find that when people change their plans often and quickly, at the root of it, is a lack of vision, clarity or passion.

If it doesn’t work in the first instance, the most common action that I see some people take is to throw it all away, which is easily done when you are not convicted of your why or have a good understanding of how things work.

We build up great expectations about how things should be and feel like and once that doesn’t match our ideals then it must not be working or right for us. Abandoning your goals for those reasons can in many cases limit your ability to see the opportunity right in front of you.

The opportunity for growth is always present but if you’re hung up on what it is supposed to look like and believe that progress should just smack you right in the face, then you my friend will be gravely disappointed.

You see other people thriving in their careers and it appears to you like it happened overnight and that simply is not the case. Even if there are some people that ‘fall’ into a career and you consider them successful, there is a lot of work that goes into maintaining it, a lot.

What I really want to stress is that you cannot continue to flit about from one career to another, one business to another, one partner to another and expect to be successful, in fact it may be the very reason you are not. You have to focus your energy on one thing first, not one hundred things at once. Work on the opportunity that you have in your hand and stop looking at someone else’s grass believing it is greener. Yours could be just as green if you refrain from being a scatter brain (cheeky, I know) and channel your efforts into making the thing you want a success.

You need to be consistent, patient and focused on the outcome, not on how the outcome comes about or how long it’s taking, just scrap the ‘hows’ altogether. Zone in on your why and it’ll keep you going.

Now granted you may very well do that and it doesn’t work out, that’s completely fine, all hell does not have to break loose! What you can do in that situation is to take the learning experience and apply it in another area of your life.

There will be times that the thing you want doesn’t want you right now and to combat that, you must look at what is working, and ride it until the wheels fall off. Another opportunity with time, will present itself.

JF

Jamie Foxx is a perfect example of this. His first passion was music, but at the start of his career music didn’t want him, comedy and acting did. He worked that circuit for a few years before he released his second album which did considerably better than his first. By this point he was well recognised and respected in the entertainment business. It was much easier for people to be more receptive to his music-He wins! (Let’s gloss over his ‘15 National Anthem performance *side eye* thanks).

MA

Mahershala Ali has been acting for 16 years and my very first exposure to him was only last year in the Netflix series Luke Cage and now he’s everywhere!-And the first Muslim to win an Oscar 🙂

Nothing worth having will be easy. It will have twists and turns, ups and downs, highs and lows, it is part and parcel of living.

Work on your craft and if the craft isn’t working, work on something that is working. You can quote me on this, it will happen for you, eventually.

Xo

P.s *Summink South East London colloquialism for Something.

Pain now, Gain later

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What’s stopping you? Is it fear? Is it the work? Is it the lack of discipline?

For me, it is the pain of doing the work. The difficulty or should I say, the idea I have built in my mind of how difficult something is or how long it will take, is one of my stumbling blocks. I’m sure you have gathered by now that patience is not one of my strong suits. The irony is once I’ve done it, I say to myself, ‘Is that it? What was the big deal?!’.

You have to think of it this way, do the work now so that you can enjoy later. I love studying people (my favourite pastime) and when I looked at a lot of successful people, many of them were still reaping from what they sowed years and years and years ago. They are harvesting from the work, graft, grind, that they also found difficult to do at the time. Wouldn’t it be great to have something that continues to bear fruit in your life, years after it’s been done?

Let’s take a singer-songwriter for example. They wrote and performed a song, 10 years ago. When that song gets used in an advert, they get paid and recognition from it. When it’s used in a film, they get paid and recognition from it. Someone does a cover, they get paid and recognition from it.  This is all from one song that they created, in a room, spent hours recording, fine tuning, staying up late, perfecting the performance of it, creating a video for it, doing interviews to promote it,  and all the other host of things that come with being an artist. These are some of the pains, which later became profitable.

It could be anything in your life, getting a new job, reenergizing a relationship, clearing your debts, making an investment, learning a new trade, weight loss, producing content for YouTube, writing a book, a social enterprise, raising a family, anything worth having does not comes easy or overnight. Without doing the work, none of these things will materialize. It’s the natural order of life, sow first, reap second.

Like my mentor says ‘Do what others won’t, to get what others don’t’.

Xo

P.s I am doing the work too, albeit begrudgingly grrr.

An Overnight Success? Not Likely.

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I live for progress, patience? Not so much. The irony is without patience, you’ll seldom get to see the progress.

By nature or possibly nurture even, I am incredibly impatient. I want it either now, yesterday or last year and live in this space where anything can happen instantly and I expect it to. As you can imagine it doesn’t bode well for me at all when it does not happen as anticipated. I quickly become frustrated, irritated and delve deeper into the abyss of ‘I am not doing well in life’- Yes I know, drama queen.

But, I had an epiphany that I thought was worth sharing. I was working out last week and thinking about how I have not yet successfully executed regular and consistent exercise for long periods of time. I weighed it against the goals that I wanted for my body and it registered to me that I am never going to see the results that I want, IF I am not patient enough to continue working out to see my goals manifest.

This is true for everything.

I love reading and listening to the background stories of celebrities, mainly because their development and growth is visible. The proof of their evolution is seen in the pictures, videos and the work they produce.

These success stories, started exactly where you are right now, that very same spot you’re standing on, yup, that one, they stood there too.

They were not all born with a silver spoon or in particularly advantageous circumstances and even if they were, it’s not void of life’s woes, yet they thrived. How?

Well, (and I firmly believe this) the difference between those that achieve the success they want and those that don’t, is persistence and patience.

Being persistent and patient whilst aiming for progress rather than perfection (irrespective of what you do) will surely gain you results over a period of time albeit a long, very long, period of time.

I read an article/ interview on Katherine Waterston in ES Magazine and she spoke about the time she considered giving up if she had not booked ‘Inherent Vice’, a movie that she was nominated for three awards. She is now one of the stars of ‘Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them’ a work from the incomparable JK Rowling. It may not match Harry Potter’s success but it’s sure to do pretty darn well, due to die-hard fans both young and old.  Katherine has already filmed other works that are currently in post-production. At 36, she is gaining notoriety and expanding her body of work. 

Why mention her age? I think her age is (and isn’t) important.  For those  of us who are younger and think it’ll never work out and daily consider giving up on our aspirations, well there’s the proof that with time, you will begin to make great strides; if only you do not give up, be persistent, work on your craft/ self and exercise patience!

Resist the opportunity to relent before your moment to shine, it will come.

XO

 

Silence the Naysayers aka Haters!

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They say silence is golden and the best revenge is success, how about marrying the two?

I have been tried, tested and doubted in so many ways and my best resolve is through my actions. No need to retaliate or retort back, just show and prove.

Nothing spurs me on more, than someone doubting my abilities and not believing in my vision and me. I will not stop until it has manifested in the flesh. Do you get urged on in the same way?

I don’t react or retaliate because firstly, that’s unnecessary energy that can be spent elsewhere, and secondly I don’t need that kind of karma drama coming back to me, no sir!

What if you don’t believe in yourself? In that case you have change the story (lies) you have been telling yourself. Stop saying you can’t have the body of your dreams, or that you can’t be the person you’ve always wanted to be, or that what you have to offer is not necessary, or that you’re not talented enough, or that your dreams don’t matter- CHANGE THE STORY.

Don’t hate on you.

Please brace yourself I’m about to start shouting:

YOU CAN HAVE THE BODY OF YOUR DREAMS

YOU CAN BE THAT PERSON YOU’VE ALWAYS WANTED TO BE

WHAT YOU HAVE IS NECESSARY

YOU ARE TALENTED

YOUR DREAMS MATTER

DO YOU HEAR ME? YOU MATTER.

Okay that was exhausting, all that shouting, but I need you to get it. You are enough and you can achieve whatever you want to, if you only you would change the story you have told yourself all these years and replace it with one that you agree with and want for your life.

If you won’t listen to yourself, then listen to me, you can do it or maybe I should say you can’t do it… does that work? Will you do your best now to prove me wrong or right?

There is proof all around you of all the “impossibilities”, so if you’re ever in doubt, look closer.

Right, I’m off to sh*t on someo… I mean I’m off to prove myself right that I can indeed do it!

I’ll tell you next week, what it is that I did 😉

Enjoy the rest of your week!

XO

Major Key Alert: Put yourself on.

30 Monday May 2016

Posted by in Life

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Have you ever wished, hoped and prayed that “someone” will put you on or save you? I know I have. I have the novels I read as a child to blame for that.

The reality is that YOU are that person.

For a while now, I have wanted a mentor, someone who has the expertise and the success I would like to attain for myself. Not just in the typical things like career, but in spirituality, family life, finances and the like. However, the attempts I have made to get one, keeps falling flat – Nobody wants me 😦 .

Although I do believe it’s an important aspect in growing, I have resolved to focus on what I am doing, and what I need will come in due time.

We give so much of our energy to focusing on other people, what they’re doing, how they’re doing it, whom they’re doing it with, how they can assist us and not enough on what you’re doing. There is a vast amount we can do for ourselves that we do not do.

My mother would say to me ‘time waits for no man’, devote the time and effort to yourself, you HAVE to do the work. Sometimes it is disheartening when you don’t see the results you want immediately, but those who succeed, are persistent and patient.

Remember we cannot sow and reap at the same time, there is a season for everything.

 

A Chess Game

03 Monday Aug 2015

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A Chess Game—you are amazing

Who likes to plan? I! Who wants things to go according to their plan? I! Whose plan almost never goes to plan? I!

Sometimes things don’t go according to plan and it sucks! You devote so much of your energy to making something work (Ok, slightly contradictory to my last post but don’t stone me just yet) and things still fall apart.

So what do you do? You stop *crickets, tumbleweed, saloon doors flap*.  You stop and take inventory of what’s taking place and re-strategise.

I cannot tell you how many people become stagnant and ‘fail’ because they’re stuck on their preferred means in which something is suppose to happen.  For example, I thought that by the time I was in my mid 20’s Ill have a thriving business, a plethora of accolades, my own immediate family (a girl can dream right?) HOWEVER, that is not what has happened *cues violins*.

If I gave up because those things had not yet occurred, you wouldn’t be reading this right now, you must keep going! Change the formula, experiment, pay attention to what is ACTUALLY working and do that.

Don’t go against the grain instead flow with the current, the fact that you re-strategised doesn’t mean that the aspiration will not be achieved, it’s simply a change of action plan.

“Progress is impossible without change, and those that cannot change their minds, cannot change anything”-George Bernard Shaw

PS the top three common things successful people say is important are: Have passion, believe in yourself and commit.