Tag Archives: success

Finishing Strong

13 Friday Dec 2019

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***Updated***

Running

Typically around this time of the year we start to reflect on all that we’ve done. We look at what have achieved and what we haven’t.

We examine closely the things we didn’t get to do and resign to saying ‘2020’ is my year. Pray tell, how will 2020 be any different if you’re not doing anything different? You still think the same, speak the same, act the same, have the same conversations, do the same things and somehow it’ll be…different?

I want you to remember that 2019 isn’t over yet and there is so much we can still do in creating the life we want to live.

Now I don’t have all the answers but I do know a little something that might help. I learnt something recently from my mentor that has helped shape what I do now and it’s this; the work is your habits.

What do your habits say about you and your life? The state of your life is in direct correlation to the habits you have nurtured and practice on a daily basis. For example, if you work out regularly, it’s likely to be evident in your fitness, physique and mentality. Like the saying goes the proof is the pudding.

After a long day at work, like most I just want to plop onto my bed. I don’t want to do any ‘house stuff’ least especially laundry. The clothes are on my bed and I gear up to swiftly push them to the side and curl up on my bed but I pause. What does this act do for me? 1) Fosters laziness and procrastination 2) Increases workload 3) Messy space, messy life 4) Lack of clarity…you see, that ‘little thing’ isn’t worth all that comes with it, so in most cases, I’ll sort it there and then. Everything you do, is mapping out your life.

So, as you go about your daily activities today think about this, what is what I’m about to do say about me and my life? And if you find that the answer is negative, there is your starting point for you to do something about it.

Check your habits and if you don’t like the results it produces, change your habits.

Xo

Magic? No, Work.

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‘The magic you’re looking for is in the work you are avoiding’. I wish I could refute this statement with all of my might but I can’t.

As a professional work avoider, I know how much (temporary) enjoyment I get from skiving off. That is until the chickens come home to roost.

I also know that doing the work is the actual key to unlocking rewards. And there’s no other way around it.

Usually that piece of work that I avoid becomes easy once I start doing it, then I’m bemused because ‘what was the big deal?, why was I avoiding this?’.

I’d had been procrastinating on writing a business plan for my next venture. When I did get around to it, I realised I had already completed a large portion of it on a previous occasion (I must have been delirious whilst doing it). Oh. So I can do it then.

With the new week upon us, what work have you been running away from? Run towards it. Grab it by the horns and make it your bitc submit to you. You already have what it takes, use it. Even if you don’t know how, start with what you know and things will begin to unfold.

I’m learning that with what you want, you can’t be afraid to work and sometimes work hard, as it is the very thing that will call forth your desires.

Xo

Personal Enemy No 1…You.

28 Monday Jan 2019

Posted by in Dreams, Life, Manifest, More Action

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Self-sabotage. What a bitch.

We’ve all done/do it and probably have experienced how difficult it is to unearth the habits that cause you to trip up and repeat stifling behaviours. Truthfully, it’s a scary thing to change your ways, as doing so requires you to push past who you currently are to be someone you have very little experience being.

It’s much much easier to remain as you are…yet you still feel so uncomfortable. Your desires niggle at you, willing you to get out of your comfort zone and do the work necessary to make your dreams materialise, but you’re scared shitless and feel like an imposter, ‘Who am I to have such audacious desires?’.

You might even make attempts to do the work, but you’re suddenly distracted, matter of fact you’re always “distracted”. You’ve become adept at finding excuses to not really show up, ‘It won’t work because so and so’. You want to leave it, you even convince yourself that you’re content to, but again, your dreams are persistent and won’t let you rest, it simply won’t allow you to just move on.

I get it. Changing is hard and real long lasting change takes time, effort and most importantly patience.

I do believe there’s a time and place for radical action but this is not one of them. Here requires a delicate approach. Below are 3 tips to help you help yourself.

1. Recognise the habits and thought patterns that keep you stagnant. One of mine is ‘There’s no point, I won’t get it.’ And guess what? It’s self-fulfilling, because automatically I won’t do the things required to get it. Side note: I had an interview today and got outside the building, only to come up with reasons why I didn’t want to go in. Thankfully, I had enough sense to call a friend who gave me something to think about. I went. I just needed a little push.

2. Pick one thing to alter and take a step towards it. I recently did a 24 hour ‘be positive’ challenge and I realised that as “positive” as I considered myself to be, I had A LOT of negative chatter going on subconsciously (lots more work to do).

3. Do the thing your gut has been begging you to do. It’s your biggest cheerleader. Refrain from constantly looking outside of yourself for affirmation. I truly believe that deep down every individual knows what’s best for them, they simply don’t trust themselves enough.

Take a chance on yourself, what is the worst that could happen? Growth- and that’s whether you succeed or don’t.

Xo

I Chose This Life

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Winter FabA few years ago I was knocking on doors, trying to find the person who owned the car that had scratched mine. One person opened their door and instead of paying attention to what he was saying, I was peering into his home as I couldn’t help but notice how different it was.

It didn’t look like mine, even though we lived a street away. It was not designed in the way these homes were originally made. It had been gutted out and designed specifically to the owners wants.

It surprised me and I thought to myself ‘So we don’t all live the same?’. Now I know that might sound obvious, but think about it. If you lived in well known expensive town, you might think that the inhabitants are generally well to do.

It was significant to me because we often think that because an experience is shared by a group of people that everyone must be having the same experiences, and it is not so.

You wake up and hate going to work, someone else loves it.

You dislike the treatment you receive in this relationship by this wo/man, someone else is deeply in love and enjoying their partner.

You barely make enough to get by, someone else is making more in a month than you make in a year.

Your friendship group is lack lustre, someone else has a great group of friends and loves their life.

The difference in the above is about creating, creating by choice. We all live through and by the choices we make every single day.

You can live how you want to if only you will consistently make choices that align with the thing that you want.

Do not underestimate the power of your choices as they determine what you experience daily. Just take a look around you and examine what is taking place, what choices did you make? Don’t like it? Choose differently.

Xo

Fumbling in the Dark

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Remember when you were a kid and you for the first time, entered a room you’d never been in. It was pitch black and although there was no real reason to be scared, you still were.
You don’t know where the light switch is, and you can hear your heart beating out of your chest. You don’t know what’s in the room, you don’t know if you’re ready for what ‘might’ be lurking in this dark place. You don’t want to be scared but your imagination is running wild.
You frantically place your hands on the wall, trying to find the switch but you can’t find it. You keep feeling your way around, moving carefully, in case you hit something that could hurt you. After a few more seconds you find the light switch and the brightness that comes next surprises you even though you expected it.

Your eyes slowly adjust and you take in what’s there. Some things you recognise as you’ve seen something similar before and some things you don’t.
As you’re now in the room you might as well get involved and get discovering. You’re still cautious because what you find could change things.

You make a plan of what you’re going to do based on your previous experience. You start looking at the things you know, with the goal of getting to what you don’t recognise uncertain of what you’ll learn. Will there be money? A toy? Something you’re not supposed to see or know? A letter? Hidden information about a family member?…

That’s life. Full of twists and turns, ups and downs, good times and not so good times, failures and successes, dark moments and brighter days and to thrive, you have to live through it.

You are not going to be able to have everything figured out all the time and this truthfully, is one of the most difficult challenges I have. I have to know everything. I need to know what and when the outcome will be and that’s thing, you cannot truly experience the best life has to offer by controlling everything. You have to free up the reigns a little bit (takes note), embrace what comes, and be present.

Xo

Rejected…again?

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facetune_14-11-2018-09-44-44I don’t know whether there are people who are unaffected by rejection and if they exist someone point them my way, I need some tips.

I think most would agree that being rejected once, sucks, but multiple times? Its the worst. And yet it’s inevitable, we cannot escape it no matter who we are or where we are from, we have to deal.

So how do we deal? When things aren’t going how we would like, there’s a tendency to lump all bad experiences together and make it one big ball of pain. This undoubtedly makes it more difficult to move past the experience(s).

“I applied for this role and didn’t get it”

“I missed out on getting onto this course because I was shy of 2 points”

“She left me for someone else”

“My colleague was given the promotion over me, although I am more qualified”

Imagine putting all of those together and wondering why you feel so crap afterwards. Don’t do it.

I have taken a number of L’s this year, do I stop? Do I give up? Do I no longer make the effort? No no and no! (And yes I’m definitely guilty of the above, I’m champion woe is me).

Some rejections I was unfazed by, others made me question myself over and over again. It happens to the best of us.

For example, I applied for 6 positions at my current organisation, did you hear me? I said SIX. After the first 2 rejections, I felt like shit. Most of the roles I applied for, I was more than capable of doing based on my skills and experience, but it wasn’t happening and I did not understand why. The feedback I received was positive but I just missed it. To make matters worse:

  • Most of the people I work with have been pushing for me to get something permanent and so I constantly have colleagues coming up to me, giving me information on jobs, agencies and the like…all the time.
  • It’s embarrassing. And whilst I appreciate/d the support it made me feel useless. Like why can’t I get together?! Frustrating to say the least!
  • This was a 6 month contract. I have been here 18 months which I’m thankful for, however MANY people have left and been able to find better roles. I MUST be the problem.

After the 3rd interview and it was a no (the other 3 I never heard back from), I thought right, what’s really happening here? After some reflection I realised apart from improving my interview techniques, my future is not attached to this company at all. I’d be settling here. I enjoy working with the people, however the roles have been something ‘to do’ and that’s definitely not what I want for my life and the universe has heard me.

From these experiences I have learnt that it is best to treat each situation separate from the other. One negative experience, failure or rejection need not be compounded to conclude that you are indeed a “bum”. Instead, focus on the lessons to be learnt.

Rejection does not have to be failure, it can be redirection and a chance to do it differently. You also don’t know what you’re being saved from.

It can be tough and you’ll want wallow in self-pity, but choose to dust yourself off, be a good student, and give it another go.

Xo

Thoughts Become Things

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facetune_22-10-2018-19-30-58My contract is ending soon. The nature of the job means expecting it to terminate at any moment. I know this and had been mentally preparing myself for what could happen next. Out of nowhere I started to think about finances, could I manage if I didn’t get another contract for a little while? Will all my hard work of having everything in order go in the toilet? I could feel the fear beginning to surge through me from my stomach into my head and back down.

I caught it. I reaffirmed that I will be good no matter what and dismissed any other thoughts that contradicted it.

Being able to do that is years of self-awareness and practice. Not all thoughts that travel in and through our minds are our own or ones we want to cultivate and it’s crucial to be able to consciously filter them out.

You might think it’s just one thought, a mere sentence, but it’s bigger than that, it’s a seed. A seed that has the power to create something greater and permanent. Think about it, a tree didn’t always look like a tree.

If we allow ourselves to be consumed with thoughts and things that we do not like nor want, it limits the space we have to receive more of what we do want.

This week, become conscious of what you’re thinking because your mind is fertile ground for what happens next.

xo

Born With It

24 Monday Sep 2018

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A blog post could take me a day or two, maybe more before I actually post it. I’ll fuss over the details like ‘does it make sense? Am I chatting shit? Will a reader relate? For flip sake I missed a word, this doesn’t flow…’ and the conversation continues. It’s annoying. Honestly.

But that’s the price of producing work you can be proud of.

Being great at anything isn’t an overnight job. It can take years. When I look back at my work from 10 years ago, I wonder how I ever made it through university. It was terrible. I almost never proof read anything. What the hell for? ‘You said 3000 words, take it and leave me alone’. And I’m not exaggerating, it was a total mess.

It took me looking at my work to really see the quality that I was producing and make changes. Doing so made me realise I missed words a lot, and that I could read a sentence 5 times and still not notice it’s not there. Oh, and that’s another thing, I HAVE to reread my writing out loud several times, even when I don’t feel like it, because what you see matters to me. It’s the difference between a good read and a read that barely makes sense. It can be tiresome, but do you want to be just okay? Or great at what you do?

It’s so easy to look at someone doing brilliantly and think they’ve got it like that. They don’t. What they do have is a commitment to their life and work continuously to do better, to beat themselves over and over and over again.

So don’t be blind sighted by the appearance of things as all great things are always worked for.

xo

Greatness Over Time

14 Tuesday Aug 2018

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Last week Thursday I was looking back on the things I have done to date and I have to be honest, I was pretty impressed with myself, like really impressed. I love what I have been able to do so far and I didn’t think I would ever say that at this point.

As a perfectionist, it could always be better, yet here I was, looking at my work and saying to myself ‘I’m dope af’.

Side note:The lack of acknowledgement or praise for your gift and contribution does not exclude the existence of it.  

Now that may be my inflated ego talking, but as I sat there and mulled over why I hadn’t seen myself in this way before, it came to me. Time, work and effort was why.

Becoming great at anything requires time, not only that but work, repeated effort and consistency. You cannot become great at anything if you do not put the hours in. There is absolutely no conning your way into it and most people start at the bottom and by bottom I mean you’re usually shit…at first. 

Think Serena and Beyonce. When you look at their success, its awe-inspiring, but truthfully what you are looking at is decades of hard work, failure, repeated action, consistency and a whole lot more.

They started as kids whose talents had to be cultivated. An overnight success they are not, not by a long shot, and if we ever sat down to converse with them about their journey, I am not sure many of us could stomach it.

Want to be great at anything? Give yourself time, be religious with doing the work, learn from it, take risks, fail, celebrate- do whatever it takes and you will surely become it, in time.

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And this could be for anything. A great relationship, apply the above, a great career apply the above, a great body, apply the above, creating the life you want to lead, apply the above, great health, apply the above… you get my drift. The work must be done and there’s no shirking the responsibility that is required to be great.

So, if you want it, it yours, but its not free.

Xo

Call It Quits?

10 Tuesday Jul 2018

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img_0874You set a goal and start to execute your plans to see it materialise. You’re excited and more determined than ever, nothing will stop you, you can do it.

Months and years have passed and you can’t see the finish line, your energy starts to wane. You wonder if there is any point because nothing seems to be changing. You want to stop but you haven’t…yet.

Will it ever happen? Should I give up? Did I make a mistake going down this path? Can I fix it? Should I fix it? What did I do wrong?
It’s not going happen, I should give up, I never should have embarked on this journey, there’s nothing more I can do, I should have done this instead…

The constant noise, the incessant chatter of shoulda woulda couldas engulfs you. You can’t think straight.

Too overwhelmed to do much, yet too far gone to give it all up.

I know the feeling, it’s tempting to call it quits especially on days where it doesn’t make sense.
Truth is, when you made the decision to pursue your desires, there were no guarantees that it would happen, you only believed in it enough to do something about it, kudos to you.

In times like these, you must reconnect to your why. Stop the static by getting out of your normal environment and purge yourself of your thoughts.

Sounds simple, almost too simple yet it works.

I was having a nightmare of a time yesterday with a decision I had made months ago and I was so close to going back on my word. I had re-enacted what I felt like doing in that moment a trillion times but deep down I knew I’d regret it.

I wanted to stay on course but was struggling to. I called on my friends to keep me motivated; they helped, however it didn’t immediately ease my feelings. My thoughts were doing over time.

I decided to go to a small park around where I work. I opened notes on my phone, wrote two lines about how I was feeling and that was it. My sound mind was restored.

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Seeing the words was a visual reminder of why I was doing it and that the possibility of something better was worth the effort and indeed valuable to me.

Try it out. If you feel uncertain about your direction, get into nature. Spend time there, meditate, write or even talk to someone. It’s the best free therapy there is. And when you’re done, pat yourself on the back for everything you have accomplished so far, appreciate the moment you’re in now, stay connected to your why and never give up.

If it doesn’t happen on the first try, keep doing it, clarity will come.

“Anything worth having, is worth waiting (working) for”…apparently (lol)

xo