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lipstickandblackcoffee

~ To A Life Worth Living xo

lipstickandblackcoffee

Tag Archives: Timing

Don’t Sleep on Yourself

21 Friday Jul 2017

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Dreams, Experiences, More Action, Motivation

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

believe, blogger, dreams, Friday, Future Self, Monika Chaing, Motivation, Persistence, Shoe designer, Speaker, start, Timing, writer

I was looking through Instagram as you do and I came across the fabulous shoe designer Monika Chaing. After browsing through a few of her pictures, I was transported back to 2010 when I had aspirations of creating a shoe line that would represent all the different sides of me-I love shoes!

That same year I was at a club with Jon B (yes the Jon B) and he commented on how he loved my shoes and that his wife would love them too.  A tiny piece of me died inside, talk about missed opportunity. The shoes I was wearing at the time were not my own design, there were a pair of Kurt Geiger shoes, but just imagine if they were? Ugh.

Thing is I had been working on the shoe line but was yet to have a product in my hand. I thought to myself if only I had a little bit more time I could have passed on my details and the rest would have been history.

Needless to say that over time I became weary and stopped trying.

Looking through Monika Chaing’s feed reminded me of that and all the other ideas (there have been many) that I had started, made progress on and then shortly gave up on. Where would they have been now if I persisted? What could I have created within the last 10 years if I had stuck through all the obstacles that I would have faced? I don’t even want to think about it, but I do know there’s a high chance I wouldn’t be sitting behind my work desk typing this.

What I hadn’t realised at the time was that dreams do not manifest overnight. They are like babies, they have to be nurtured and attended to constantly. Did you hear me? Constantly!

Now I’m not about to be all self-deprecating after all I have blogged for 3 years and that for me is an accomplishment!

Do something now that your future self will thank you for. It could be in any area of your life, great or small. Start and persist with it and remember Rome was not built in a day.

You owe it to yourself to live out your dreams to the fullest.

Xo

The Green Eyed Monster

31 Wednesday Aug 2016

Posted by Irene Ephraim in Less Talk, Life, Thoughts in motion

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Aspiration, blogger, Envy, focus, Goals, Green Eyed Monster, Jealousy, Progess, Timing, writer, You

If you say you have never been jealous, compared yourself or felt the simmering rage of the green-eyed monster, you’re a liar. Yup I said it, you’re a liar, that’s like saying you don’t fart (I don’t by the way, go on, ask my family or friends), news flash everyone does, except me of course.

I find it strange when people act like they have never felt the pang of jealousy before, it’s weird. Most people feign denial because they’re too ashamed to admit that they feel some type of way. I personally think it’s as normal as any other “acceptable” emotion. Just admit it, you have felt it before! It doesn’t make you a bad person, it simply means you’re human like the rest of us.

What I irrefutably do not agree with however, is acting out based on those misplaced feelings, ever. It is not cute at all.

I have encountered friends in the past, who because of their own built up image of me, secretly resented me for what they thought I had ha! .They acted out in all manners, spiteful, vindictive, tried to ostracize me, you name it, they did it.

How did I react towards their behaviour? I didn’t. Partially because I don’t believe in acting a fool, but mainly as it is not in my nature to behave in that way, it just doesn’t produce good karma. What I do have, is this other quality that works fabulously for me, its called ignoring the hell out of them. After a long period of their own personal soul searching (roll my eyes) I have received apologies, but it doesn’t always work out that way.

Still saying you’ve never been covetous? Okay lets agree that at the very least, you have looked at another’s persons blessing and been happy for them, and then suddenly felt the huge gaping void that you are yet to experience such joy. I’m going to be honest I might not fart but I definitely have felt all the emotions of the above one hundred times over.

Thankfully, I am wise enough to know that the person or thing of focus is NOT the problem, I am and that’s where extra work has to be put in. Not on sabotaging the next person or spreading fallacious lies or defaming their character or wishing them ill, me, I am the work in progress.

In my case, having been the only child for a while and being born into a Nigerian family, it’s inherent that comparisons will be made between you and other people -Facts only. I guess they do it as a means of attempting to incite motivation to do and be better, but it irrevocably has the opposite effect. You instead clothed yourself with an inferiority cloak that if you’re not mindful of, will rule your life.

From childhood into adulthood, I have consistently compared myself to others and not in a ‘I think I’m better than everybody’ way but more so in a ‘Why can’t I do better? What’s wrong with me? Why isn’t it happening for me in the way that I want it to?’ And so on.

The work in progress looks like this for me:

Constantly reaffirming to myself that what is for me is for me, continuing to focus on me and all the great things I have going on, to increase the efforts I make towards my visions, to believe that it will happen, and that it’s all about timing, it’s not a matter of if, its when.

 

Enjoy the process of creating, one day you’ll miss it, one day you’ll look back and laugh, one day you’ll see that you were right to keep on going, one day it’ll all make sense. Piece by piece, the jigsaw puzzle will come together and you’ll be thankful for all the life lessons and training you received.

Tips for getting rid of the gremlin on your shoulder

Step 1

Take inventory of all your achievements, blessings, and things you are grateful for, both big and small. Recall that once upon a time, the things you have now were once an aspiration.

Step 2

Believe in your own hype. It’s okay to toot your own horn, beep beep!

Step 3

Keep your eye on the prize. Have your goals and visions in plain sight. Whether it is in writing or through pictures, make sure you’re keeping the dream alive religiously.

Step 4

Do something for yourself everyday. Sounds a bit narcissistic but its necessary. It’s absolutely important to invest in your health and well-being. It could be reading a book, going for a walk, watching your favourite show, seeing a family member, whatever it is, make sure it is good for you.

Step 5

Repeat step 1-4 over and over and over again.

Hope this has been helpful.

XO

P.s I  can’t be the only one that loves the Bitmoji’s on Snapchat?

Why Didn’t You Warn Me?!

Why Didn't You Warn Me?!

Why Didn't You Warn Me?! is a podcast speaking on the things you should know, but don't. The things you typically find out after the fact, and it's sometimes too late. Fear not, Why Didn't You Warn Me?! with Irene aka Lipstick, will give you the 411 through story-telling, conversations, and refreshing perspectives.

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