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A November to Remember

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1.11.21 
I love the first day of the month, especially when it lands on a Monday. 
For each day this week I’ll be posting a word to ponder on. 

Today’s word is:
Detach 
1. disengage (something or part of something) and remove it.
2. leave or separate oneself from (a group or place).

For me, this means letting go of what’s happened, and focusing on what is. It looks like freeing myself daily from being held hostage to my 25 year old thoughts of who I expected myself to be at this point. 
I do this by confirming (not affirming) my presence in the present, i.e observing what is literally in front of me. Then I ask what can I do in this moment for me, my environment or immediate future? And that may be cooking a tasty meal with love and intention, beautifying my space, handling personal admin, or doing absolutely nothing!

What does detaching look like to you?

Xo

A Little Value For the Value

LATEST POSTS

I Made It

33 held so much for me. I felt like I couldn’t fully exhale for a few reasons.Give or take the inaccuracies of reported history, Jesus was 33 when he ascended. My late friend was also 33 when he ascended. And a small part of me had come to anticipate that this too could be my …

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by Irene Ephraim

CAN YOU HEAR YOURSELF?

The constant chatter is overwhelming. One person says this, another person says that. Your mum says it’s this way, your brother says it’s the other. Then there’s the people who love to be contrarian with no actual thoughts of their own, just adept at piggybacking off what a group of people might agree upon and finding a …

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by Irene Ephraim

Cloudy With A Chance Of…

One day you’re fine, life is good and the air is filled with prospects that you could almost pluck them like the squiggly lines you see when you look at a blue sky. The following day however, you’re freezing your bits off, your umbrella is inside out and the contents of your bag have just …

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by Irene Ephraim

The Improbable Is Still Possible 

Improbable–not likely to be true or to happen.I saw a TikTok of a guy doing the improbable. Getting two basketballs into a hoop using a crutch, throwing a CD into a moving Wii console, releasing ping pong balls with the aim of reaching various points and so on.   It was fascinating to watch. In a different …

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by Irene Ephraim

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Back to Life, Back to Reality.

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And if you’re seeing this post, it’s an indication that at least for today, I won.

Whew! Returning to the blog after an unplanned period away, is like that first day at the gym after falling off for months. It takes a whole lot to get there. 
On this occasion, the distance was due to Covid. Yup. That MF. 
And for a moment it was a bit touch and go.
I won’t delve into the details unless requested, as there are plenty of resources out there. All I’ll say is, take very good care of yourself and pay acute attention to your body.

The remnants of it have only just exited the building and time will tell what other outcomes there may be. Aside from it doing a huge number on my body, it’s resulted in an uphill battle of getting back into the swing of things. And if you’re seeing this post, it’s an indication that at least for today, I won.

I have much to get out and hope for as long as you can, that you’ll continue to join me on this ride. 

Wishing you all a spectacular rest of the week Xo

A Little Value For My Value x Thank you!

LATEST POSTS

A Long Way From Home

Sometimes, it is necessary to look back. I randomly came across email exchanges from 14 years ago. What I saw shocked, embarrassed and made me laugh until tears fell. My verbal communication was abysmal. How did anyone ever engage in written conversation with me? and furthermore why? Were they nuts?! I didn’t go looking for …

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by Irene Ephraim

Treat It Like An Exam

Treat it like an exam. This came to me at 7:46am this morning.  I was pondering on the how’s of a particular thing. I quickly snapped out of it like a Raven Baxter premonition because the ‘how’ is none of my business. The ‘do’ is where it’s at. And by do, that means doing it …

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by Irene Ephraim

Accelerate Your Life

The New Year is fast approaching, and it’s the time many people begin to reflect and go over the year. It’s at this point that people panic and have great anxiety over what they did or didn’t do and resolve to do better…in the new year.Why wait, when you can get a headstart now. One …

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by Irene Ephraim

Little Pockets Of Joy

Joy is usually reserved for the ‘big’ moments. Moments like a new car, house, engagement, pregnancy, job and the like. It’s also solely thought of as something that is given to you, rather than something you can cultivate for yourself. This is where Little Pockets of Joy comes in. I believe in en•joy•ment of the …

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by Irene Ephraim

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It Didn’t Work

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It didn’t work. 
Didn’t it? Or did you give up after the first attempt? 

We’ve become accustomed to expecting microwave results. 
We no longer believe in the art of cultivating, nurturing or giving of ourselves to a thing. We want it, and we want it now. 

I often go back to what I was like as a child. It reveals much of who we are today and who we could be.

When I couldn’t skip well, I skipped until I could.
When I could barely do a roly poly (forward roll), I practiced until I could to that and cartwheels.
When I wasn’t the fastest in a race, I ran until I got faster and faster.
When I was terrible at maths, I studied until I excelled at it. 
When I was told by my Sixth Form Law teacher to stop mucking around in class, I got an A in my coursework to silence her.
When I couldn’t swim, I learnt what I could from friends and later on in my 20’s I took lessons. 
When I was told I couldn’t do something and I disagreed with their opinion, I didn’t accept it as gospel. I instead invested the time and effort to ace it and prove myself right.

You were like that too. You relished the opportunity to know more, and you could spend hours on end practicing, learning, and doing it over and over again. What happened to that person?
The results of course were important, but the focus was in the undertaking, and this is what made the accomplishments sweeter.

Let’s get back to engaging with the process, and move away from obsessing about the outcome/whens, because truly that is where the real treasures lie; in the doing, in the learning, in the growing. The results are simply the icing on the cake. 

Xo 

LATEST POSTS

Promise + Possibilities 

Promise– the quality of potential excellence.Possibilities– a thing that may happen or be the case. That we get to be here and experience a new week full of promise and possibilities is magical. I love that for us. Who knows what wonderful, delightful thing may happen to and for us. The promise within that, makes me …

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by Irene Ephraim

Winning in Real Life

Successful 1. accomplishing a desired aim or result. 2. having achieved fame, wealth, or social status. The media will have you believe that houses, cars, money, having a partner, and followers are the epitome of success. We inherently know this isn’t true, yet we still uphold them as markers of significant value. We yearn to have …

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by Irene Ephraim

Follow Through

When I thought of today’s word, I’d already accepted that I had very little of it. Routines and monotony are not my strong suits. And then I looked up the definition and I was surprised. It’s shifted my perspective and has given me food for thought. We use discipline to strictly imply no stick-to-it-ness, but it’s official meaning …

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by Irene Ephraim

Self vs Self

Ego–A person’s sense of self-esteem or self-importance.A slippery slope or protective armour? I’d it’s both. It’s also described as the part of the mind that mediates between the conscious and the unconscious and is responsible for reality testing and a sense of personal identity. The ego is accused of many things, namely in negative outcomes, …

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by Irene Ephraim

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On An Island

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Photo by Andrew Ashraf on Pexels.com

If there is nothing else you take away from me, let ‘stay focused’ be the thing you remember. 

I have been a conscious creative for 10 years. An entire decade. And in those years, I have done A LOT. 
I didn’t realise how much, until I stumbled across an old USB stick that contained some of my previous work.
I was stunned, and also a little disappointed. 
Disappointed, as looking back at me were brilliant ideas, both unfinished and completed, that due to the lack of foresight and belief, I set aside.
In retrospect, I felt that I was on an island alone and in turn began to believe that I wasn’t meant to be there. I soon enough made my way back to doing the norm. I mean how dare I break the mould?

I now know that being alone, and having a vision that no one else sees or understands, is often the prerequisite for something you must do.
You’re in the right place to create something great if no one else gets it. 

Take a look around you and touch something.That something was once something unseen and was created by someone initially thought to be stupid, insane, or impractical. We have planes that can take us anywhere in the world. Marinate on that for a moment. 

If you have something in your mind that there’s no precedent for, don’t be disheartened or grow weary. Nurture, extract, build or even destroy, to make your vision happen. 
No pressure though, you don’t have to, but if you don’t someone else certainly will, so why not you? Stay focused.

Xo

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Easy Breezy

When the sky cries and the sun smiles, a ray of colourful light is a reminder of their alliance; to dance always.  Easeful–Providing comfort or peace.Nature gives me that. It works in order, at its own pace void of who, what, where and when.  Trees do not struggle to grow nor wonder how will they grow, …

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by Irene Ephraim

A November to Remember

1.11.21 I love the first day of the month, especially when it lands on a Monday. For each day this week I’ll be posting a word to ponder on.  Today’s word is:Detach 1. disengage (something or part of something) and remove it.2. leave or separate oneself from (a group or place). For me, this means letting go of …

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by Irene Ephraim

Belief–An Acceptance That Something Exists

I made myself stupid. Hear me out. Years ago, because of an unhealthy level of expectation I placed on myself (which stemmed from comparison), I would harshly judge what I said and how I said it. I would go over every minute detail and pick myself apart mentally, with the underlying message being you’re not …

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by Irene Ephraim

WDYWM?! Episode 10–My Life In Paris

This episode is about my experience of being a Black Brit who moved from London to Paris in a pandemic. I discuss having covid, language barriers and general challenges of integrating into a new society.

by Irene Ephraim

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LATEST POSTS

Forgive–To Cancel a Debt.

Nothing is more important than what you choose to do with the breadth of your life. To not forgive is to rob yourself of a life you deserve. …but alas it is you that has been sentenced to a life in prison.  Unforgiveness* is a treacherous con artist because it deceives you into thinking you’re …

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by Irene Ephraim

What Are You Looking At? 

A video of Kim K came across my sight over the weekend. It was her on SNL. I watched it and it dawned on me that I have no idea what she and her family were up to these days.  It’s fascinating what can change once you set your eyes on something entirely different.  I regularly …

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by Irene Ephraim

Finishing Well

I visited the Musée Yves Saint Laurent on Sunday and was re-energised by what I saw. For the designer, it was more than just clothes that looked good, it was art, curated by passion, breaking moulds and forging new ways to be seen and felt. As I perused his wears, studied the fabrics, observed the …

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by Irene Ephraim

September

The feeling of a crisp Monday morning cannot be replicated by any other day of the week. It’s full of both promise and dread in equal amounts. What will it bring? What will I have to tackle? What joy will I experience? What task might feel too great? And whilst you marinate on it, you’ll …

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by Irene Ephraim

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The Beginning: WDYWM?!

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The Beginning.

There are some people I admire and think wow, how did they do that? How did they create this beautiful, innovative, otherworldly thing?
And then like clockwork, I get a nudge reminding me that it didn’t happen overnight. I’m quickly brought back to reality and recognise how they have produced these things; work, a whole lot of work. Add to that work a bit of self-doubt, a nice dose of brokeness, years of winging it and voila!

Most notably is that they all started somewhere.
I say all this as a reminder for me and you, that success is not typically linear. It is often messy, and will have you second-guessing your existence and why you chose this path. The beauty in this, is that you are not alone. Millions of people go through this, so don’t lose hope or give up.

A podcast to laugh, learn and lament.

This brings me to part of the reason I have been a little bit awol of late.
You probably saw a random post two weeks ago, with no words, introduction, nothing, just an audio clip.
Well, I am happy to say that I have officially launched my podcast called ‘Why Didn’t You Warn Me?!’ and you can listen to it on Spotify (see below), Apple Podcasts and Soundcloud.

I have spent over a year figuring it out, attempting to perfect it, throwing all ideas in the bin, then picking one or two back up, dusting it off and trying, and trying and trying again. As we speak I have thrown the towel in a hundred times today because of software issues. It does not want me to be great, but I will persist!

Why Didn’t You Warn Me?! is about all the things we go through privately that in reality is a shared experience. We might look different, but we’re all connected, and this podcast aims to bridge that gap by telling as it is.

The first episode of WDYWM is about ‘Grief’. Sadly many of us are experiencing this or will at some point in the distant future, and I share my experience and thoughts on navigating through this.

I truly appreciate your readership, and would love to have your listening ears too. I hope you enjoy listening.
Please do rate, share and comment. Thank you!
Xo

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Back to Life, Back to Reality.

And if you’re seeing this post, it’s an indication that at least for today, I won. Whew! Returning to the blog after an unplanned period away, is like that first day at the gym after falling off for months. It takes a whole lot to get there. On this occasion, the distance was due to Covid. …

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by Irene Ephraim

Question It

Fortuitously, I picked up this book recently to re-read it for the umpteenth time and the words below reflect my sentiments in this post. Much of our education of the world comes from other sources. We seldom form and realise our own ideas about it till much later on in life, if ever at all. …

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by Irene Ephraim

Face Your Front

Face your front is a commonly known Nigerian expression, meaning to look ahead, pay attention to your affairs and stop watching others. The irony is the exact opposite expression also exists, and its ‘Look at your mates’, but we will unpack that another time. How much further along might you be if you pull backed some …

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by Irene Ephraim

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Nothing Was The Same

07 Thursday Jan 2021

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20/06/2020

Nothing was the same.

Do you know what’s beautiful about this time? None of us have been here before.
And I suppose with nothingness in front of us, there is an opportunity here, to create from scratch.

We can imagine and design something new for ourselves; as brilliant and advanced ways of being, have come from tectonic plate shifting moments in history, such as this.

Conspire with life. Form an alliance that you will do your best, and it will do the same to support you and your endeavours.
The dawn of a new era is upon us, and the ground is fertile.

Are you up for the task?

Xo

LATEST POSTS

It Didn’t Work

It didn’t work. Didn’t it? Or did you give up after the first attempt?  We’ve become accustomed to expecting microwave results. We no longer believe in the art of cultivating, nurturing or giving of ourselves to a thing. We want it, and we want it now.  I often go back to what I was like as a child. …

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by Irene Ephraim

Endless Excuses

We are full of excuses. Excuses that hinder, inhibit, and can foster stagnation. And yes, sometimes they are valid and substantiated, however, they are only as powerful as we say they are. I often remember what a coach said to me once, after I poured out my heart and laid out my issues regarding overcoming …

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by Irene Ephraim

WDYWM?! Episode 8–Moving On

London to Paris–that’s the move I made during a pandemic. I talk about the good, bad and uncomfortable things about starting a new life somewhere different.

by Irene Ephraim

Lean In

I love knowing everything. I like to know what I’m doing, where I’m doing it, who I’m doing it with (don’t be nasty), and how I’m doing it. I like my t’s crossed and i’s dotted, but that’s not life. Life is full of beautiful, unpredictable, and transformative unknowns and you only get to find …

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by Irene Ephraim

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Tenets

08 Tuesday Sep 2020

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A little while ago someone asked me for some tips on blogging, and so many thoughts came to mind.

I had much to say; things I regret not doing, things I could have only learnt on the job, things I wish someone had told me, and things that are difference makers.
I gave her my most significant lessons, which in all honesty apply to many things, and I am sharing them with you today.
*record scratch* I had initially typed up the seven points I gave her, but upon reflection, I changed my mind as I really, really, really want you to focus on the important stuff. And now we have three.

  1. No, your idea is not stupid. Run with it. The journey from inception to fruition might be a jog, sprint, or marathon, whatever it may be, just start! It doesn’t matter what it looks like, if there are errors or if it’s not exactly how you envisioned it, put ALL of that aside and start with what you have. And yes, you might be the only one who believes in it, still do it!
  2. The best way to get better is to ‘do’. Do more, and that means practice, practice, practice! Practice precedes progress and improvement. Practice well.
  3. Consistency. This one will make or break what you do. Do not underestimate it at all. Your work and purpose depends on it. It won’t be like that forever, but at the beginning and perhaps for a (very) long time, make consistency your goal. Think of anyone you consider to be successful, were they an overnight success? Absolutely not. It was consistency, trial and error and patience.

The chances are, you know these things already, and if so, I’m reminding you again. There is no escaping these tenets, so you might as well concede, and be on your merry way to hopefully, a more enriched life, doing the thing(s) you have always wanted.

Xo

Latest Posts

One Day You’ll Be Old

One day you will be old. At least I hope to be. As I prepared for bed last night, I took one more glance in the mirror to observe myself, and I had an epiphany; one day I’ll be old and this skin that I’m waiting on to get better, will have lived life and …

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by Irene Ephraim

WDYWM?! Episode 6–Unravelling

What I thought 2019 would be vs what it is was. I felt like I was dragged through the mud, but there is light at the end of the tunnel, even if you have to fight tooth and nail for it! I share some of the difficulties of life and adulting.

by Irene Ephraim

You vs Society

When I take an unexpected break (which I am now calling a mid-season break), I usually return with an explanation in hand.I’m not doing that today (maybe later), and I hope by the end of this read, you too will choose yourself and your best interests. Society demands that you work incessantly. It’s crammed down …

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by Irene Ephraim

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A Will, A Way.

10 Tuesday Mar 2020

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61e5e7a5-db4a-413c-90cf-3df76b6e053cI have been willing myself to complete a post for weeks now to no avail. Five different topics with a beginning, a middle and no end. Huff.

As I finished writing that last sentence, a thought came to me to just post one as is, and that’s what I’m going to do.

Too often we let perfectionism block and stop us from showing up, believing that we have to present a completely finished & polished product, and truthfully we don’t. What’s much more revolutionary than that is being your authentic self and simply showing up the best way you know how, rough edges and all.

So here is one I started a month ago and haven’t edited or completed.  And maybe I will, maybe I won’t.

” Remove and Replace

Whatever expectations you’ve had for your life for the last few years or decades, perhaps it’s time you let up and release them.

We can get so caught up in what we think it should be and forcefully try and make things happen, that we actually miss out on the opportunities right in front of us.

That doesn’t mean never getting the things you want, it’s more about adjusting your lens to capture what already exists and making it better.

I was having a conversation with a friend about life and its fragility and because of that, again I thought are can we really afford to get stuck on the things that haven’t worked? to hold grudges? to wallow in self-pity? to allow negativity?  Sure, its easier said than done. And yes it’s something to be practice and there is no time like the present.

So many of us give up on the first try, because we’re so stuck on how we envisioned it happening that we haven’t stopped to consider other options.”

Xo

What 2009-2019 Taught Me.

27 Friday Dec 2019

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Before you receive an onslaught of all the decade stuff, I thought I’d quickly slide mine in there and share some of the things I’ve learnt over the last 10 years.

I started this decade as a 22 year old, who didn’t know shit, still doesn’t, ha! Anyway, without further ado, here they are:

  1. Love can be simple and it can be complicated. It’s also not meant to be an exact replica of others, it should however, be and feel good.
  2. Time doesn’t heal all wounds, working on them/you does.
  3. Forgiveness is essential and not an option. Your health, relationships and life need it.
  4. It’s okay. Whatever it is, it’s okay.
  5. Take risks, especially the ones that make you want to vomit. You either love it or you’ll learn from it.
  6. Make your own rules. You’re the boss of your life.
  7. Speak up. Clear your throat, take a deep breath and say it. Not saying it, is costly.
  8. One size does not fit all. Your life is meant to be colourful and full of character (including characters). You’re breathing, so let it do it’s thing and go with the flow where you can.
  9. Let it all go. People, jobs, ideals.  Free yourself and be better.
  10. Give. To yourself first, then to others. That way you’ll always be at your best.
  11. There are upsides to every downside, there are downsides to every upside, and to experience anything good you have to embrace all of it

Bonus: We’re all just figuring it out. The above is what I’ve figured out so far and truthfully in the next year/decade it will change. That’s life.

What are some of the things you have learnt over the last decade?

xo

P.s If I don’t write to you before the new year, have a wonderful New Year! xo

One At A Time

19 Tuesday Nov 2019

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facetune_18-11-2019-18-17-01-1

 

I really hope this post meets you well.

Can you believe we’re nearly at the end of the year? AND we’re about to enter into a new decade? Wild.

2019 so far for myself and a lot of others, has been a roller coaster of emotions and experiences that we never expected. Things like, unemployment, unplanned pregnancies, incarceration, losing friendships, losing loved ones to death, to name a few things- like I said, a roller coaster.  

I wonder if there is some sort of universal purge happening because we are entering into a new decade? What do you think?

Notwithstanding the party and bullsh*t that life can be, we still have to participate and how we do this, is entirely up to us.

Sure, we’re not in control of a lot of things, but the one of the things we can master is, ourselves. WE are huge contributors to our experiences.

With that said, I want you to think about ONE thing you want to accomplish before the 31st December 2019.

Just one. One, because when we attempt to juggle multiple things at a time the following occurs; very little gets done, you become overwhelmed with how much there is to do, causes frustration and worse than all of that, can make you stagnant.

Once you have decided what that is, close off or shut down anything that does not support the thing you are in the process of accomplishing. That might mean limiting the access others have to you, setting a timetable, changing your environment, exposing yourself to something different and so on.

Chances are, you already know what you have to do, you just don’t want to do it. Take heed to whatever messages you are receiving right now about your life, as its the very thing that will get you closer to where you want to be.

And if you don’t? Well you already know what life will look like because you are living it now. Do yourself one solid before the new year and surprise yourself.

With love, Irene x